(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

Reading Twilight: Chapter 2 (Open Book)

April 22nd, 2008 at 1:54 am by Kaleb Nation

The song for this chapter is Rainy Monday by Shiny Toy Guns:

In light of yesterday’s confession which nearly got me a noosing (and plenty of emails referring me to St. Brigotti’s Hospital for the Mentally Deranged), I decided to take drastic measures so I’d never again forget to bring The Book.

I’ll Never Forget Twilight Again

So there, I can’t miss it. Tell the sisters at St. Brigotti to cease and desist fitting me for an abbot habit.

Anyhow, I was so eager to get on to Chapter 2 that I stayed up late reading it, even after flying back in from my rather eventful weekend. Right off Stephenie’s got me back to this Edward fellow, and the fact that suddenly he’s not at school was a twist I hadn’t expected.

The reason I didn’t expect it is because my brain is still mentally stereotyping this book as a traditional vampire romance. But in traditional romances, twists don’t happen. Princess Wilhelminabonk swoons into the arms of Prince Dashingbunk, he drains her blood and she becomes his corpsish bride for an eternity of bliss and bloody good dinners (British pun intended). Twilight, luckily, is different already.

I finally get to hear Edward say some stuff, and right off I am getting hints of why the girls love him. He’s extremely polite for one thing, and when he talks there’s a flourish to it. But something that leaps out at me right off is that he is a professional listener. Guys especially, take heed of what I say next: you must learn this from Edward Cullen.

I don’t know if Stephenie did research on this, but in radio and interviewing I learned a way of how to make conversation with people who might as well be brick walls. And when Edward first talks to Bella, she’s the brickiest wall I’ve ever seen. So to keep Bella talking, Edward uses a technique of repeating what she says back to her, reworded, to show he is listening, and to keep her talking so that she will open up. For example (paraphrased):

Edward: “It’s too bad about the snow, isn’t it?”

Bella: “Not really.”

Edward: “You don’t like the cold.”

Notice how sharp Bella is, and how he simply repeats what she told him, in a way making her embellish on it and say more, and to become positive by agreeing with him by saying something like “yes, you’re right, this cold is abysmal” next. This is a very professional technique that Edward uses all throughout this chapter. Another example:

Bella: “(My mom) stayed with me at first, but she missed him… it made her unhappy…so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie”

Edward: “But now you’re unhappy.”

Bella: “And?”

Edward: “That doesn’t seem fair.”

Notice how Edward is keeping the conversation going, showing openly that he is listening to her, and gently keeping her talking to (and agreeing with) him, while showing that he cares. I am literally surprised! He is a pro at this like nothing I’ve seen before.

However, I do feel pretty bad for Mike. That poor guy’s trying everything he can to get Bella’s attention, but she’s stuck on a vampire. What’s a guy to do when the girl you’re after is more interested in Edward Cullen? Since you all know much more about me on this, something may happen later and I just don’t realize that Mike’s a serial vampire slayer in sheep’s clothing, so bear with me.

But back onto the cars again. Bella’s suddenly reminds me of an old truck we were fixing up back at home. Namely, this line:

I gunned my deafening engine to life…trying to pretend that the earsplitting rumble was coming from someone else’s car…

Deafening and earsplitting are key words here. The truck back home quite literally starts off like a cannon, with the enormous BOOM and smoke like Medusa‘s Swampmobile, before settling out to a very even rumbling that resembles what would happen if two mountains started scratching each other’s backs. My mom said that it makes so much noise, she doesn’t care where we go in it, because all she has to do is listen outside and she’ll know where we are in town.

Bella’s Truck Sounds Like A Cannon

Twilighters punish me for leaving The Book at home while I traveled

Overall, I’m still really liking it, and I’ll be onto the next chapter as soon as I possibly can. I skipped work on my college final essay to read Twilight, so I shall read the next as soon as I get it turned in.


– For all of you kind people who have been friending me on Facebook, I’m sorry but I can no longer add you to my friends list unless I personally know you. I can, however, add you to my Myspace site, which I’d be really glad to friend you on!
– When setting the book down, I noticed that my site is now at number 9 on the Twilight Top Sites. I can only say that a website still in its infancy, nary a week old, should never get that honor with such names as Bellaandedward.com and the Twilight Lexicon. However, I am overjoyed to be there, though their stats page of my site is a bit incorrect (try closer to 25,000 visits yesterday :) ).
– Also, to all of you who have sent emails: I still am going to reply to you. I just have to find a few spare hours, because literally if I only spent 5 minutes on each one I would be here an entire weekend (and I actually enjoy sleeping sometime).

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91 Responses

  1. Erin

    professional listener :) oh I love it.

  2. Bea

    I hope guys would have the guts to read Twilight, there’s no harm in doing it, it might actually help them become better people you know. Edward is such a good role model for guys:))

    Keep up the funny stuff;))

  3. Sabrina

    You know, it always makes me genuinely happy when I see that a guy reads “Twilight”. It’s so rare… and you should know that the female Twilighters dig guys who also read the book 😉

    So there’s nothing to be ashamed of! 😀

  4. Phie

    I have a feeling that you may start to take over the Twilight universe in the next couple of weeks (we’ll have to change our icons from Team Edward, to Team Kaleb).
    It’s only a matter of time before you’re making us swoon with your big words (like embellish, ambysmal) and great grammar skills.
    Keep up the reading, and the commentary – it’s a great sorce of entertainment.

  5. Alex

    You make me laugh. I really can’t wait to see what you think of the next chapters.

    Good now you’ll never forget the book.

  6. Guen

    I think you have a valid point about how guys really should take a page out of Edward’s book. I would like to warn you though, do your homework while you can, because once you reach chapter 7 or 8, youwill finish the book within 24 hours, if you’re anything like me or my friends/family.

  7. Amy

    ^ Totally agree with what Guen said!! ^ There’s a point in this book that when you hit it you absolutely cannot put it down! Just be prepared.

  8. Anne

    Any guy who reads Twilight definitely gets plus points in the girl department :)

  9. Lisa

    wow…wow…wow… it’s soo awesome!!! your blog nearly interests me as much as the books themselves. lol i tried to pursuade some guy-friends to read it but failed… maybe your site will educate them a little ^_^ keep up the good job!

  10. Sam

    You’re right. Guys need to learn from Edward!

    If you keep this up, girls you don’t know are probably going to start asking you out. XD

  11. Catherine

    Yeah, I did also notice that about Edward when I was reading Twilight. He is a pretty cool character.

  12. Elspeth

    Interesting insights, I’ve never taken the time to sit and analyze the novel chapter by chapter. I enjoy your interpertation and I look forward to reading more. And for the sake of the end of your semester, finish your final essay! We don’t want your grades to suffer on account of us! Happy Reading :)

  13. Catherine

    BTW- love the photo. 😉

  14. Anna

    The photo with your head in the cannon is hilarious!

  15. Jessica

    I agree with you about Edward — he knows how to listen and he knows how to be polite. I think loads of men could learn a lot about how to treat a woman, just by reading Twilight. =)

    That picture, by the way, is fabulous; death by cannon may have been more effective than death by noose, I believe.

  16. Phinecia

    I haven’t anaylized a book chapter by chapter since college. It never occurred to me to do that with Twilight to try and figure out what the attraction to the book is. GOOD THINKING on your part! Please tell me you are majoring in some kind of Literature;-) Keep up the good work!

  17. YouKnowWho

    Selling Kaleb Nation voodoo dolls!

  18. Teresa

    Great ideas! Love it! But the others are right though. Finish your essay! What you wrote about Mike becoming a vampire slayer is funny.

    Keep it up!

  19. Tina

    Haha, you’re so funny 😀 I hope you update soon, it’s so interesting to see what a guy thinks of Twilight

  20. frankie

    hehehe. You’re hilarious. I’m thoroughly enjoying your comments on the chapters. I bought the entire series for my baby brother for his birthday, so it’s great to read a guys take on it. The big guy will love them, and I think he’d love your site too. I can see him falling off his chair laughing now. I may have to give it to him with the books. Keep up the great work and good luck with your essay.


    i really agree with Guen this is why: my friend just monday started reading twilight and she just today in math finished eclipse!! U CANT PUT IT DOWN!!!

  22. April

    So like I said before… you are very good at looking at the little details. I have to say that I had read that part with interest but didn’t have insight like yours. Im definately going to read up on what you say. Keep reading… when you have time. And remember to always keep that book tied to your face!!

  23. Emily

    Wow. That’s just the only way to describe it. I love how you’re examining the chapters like this, looking at the finer details. I can honestly say that I just wanted to read the book and I went so quickly through its pages that not even on the second, or third, or fourth (ect) time that I’ve read it have I caught how Edward was talking. I though that was just the way he was. Nice catch! Keep reading, it’s about to get cooler.


  24. Wren

    You’re 100% right. Guys need to learn how to listen, and that’s exactly what Edward’s perfect at (along with many other things…)!

  25. Shannon

    If all the males in the world would act like Kaleb and Edward the Earth would be a better place. Kaleb, you are soooo hilarious. I can’t wait till you read some more 😀

  26. Jon

    I am very glad to know that I am not the only guy who has read this book. It’s nice to see someone else doing it… I hope you enjoy it, it was surprisingly good…

  27. Alexon

    LOL I love you! <3 You are so awesome and I totally digg your site, I’m using your buttons on mine! They’re extremely comical. <3 I can’t wait to see what you think of chapter 13 although I’m getting ahead of myself. xD

  28. kat

    Aha, glad you like the book :] you’re completely correct when you say that guys need to learn to listen! 😛 I was also kinda blown away when I realized this wasn’t a regular vampire romance book.

  29. Alannah

    I love the picture of you with Twilight taped to your head 😀

    Like others have mentioned in their comments, I also didn’t analyze Twilight and notice such things as Edward’s listening skills, despite the fact that I’ve read the all three novels several times over. Your blog is adding new depth and insight to the Twilight fandom! Keep up the excellent work!

  30. Steph

    Haha, I really enjoy listening to what you have to hear about the book.

    I read it in one sitting so I don’t know how you will be able to read it chapter by chapter. Not going to lie, when you start getting further into the book, especially chapter 13 you might no be able to put it down.

    So I would focus on college a lot considering you will need it for the rest of the novel.

  31. Venice

    I do agree.
    It would be a lot better if guys were like Edward.
    A guy who actually listens would be nice.
    I’m glad you’re enjoying the book.
    I hope after reading Twilight, you’ll want to read the other books.

  32. Elizabeth

    LOL. Love the head attachment. 😀

  33. Rebecca

    Just wanted to tell you you’re amazing.
    For reading the book, and for actually keeping an open mind about it.
    And also for being hilarious.
    So yeah, amazing-ness.

  34. Heather

    Yay! I’m really glad you were able to read the next chapter. It’s really interesting listening to you go through the book. It’s a lot of fun to read the book again (which I currently am for the seventh time) and get another’s opinion (especially a guys). I also want to thank you for explaining some of my inexplicable attraction to Edward. I mean of course he’s dreamy and vampiric which in and of itself is enough, but now I get it more. It sounds ridiculous but it’s entirely possible to like something or someone and not know why. Enough of my rambling and circle-talk. Enjoy the rest of the book and I’ll be looking for updates.

  35. BloodSuckingLeech

    Funny boy. Listen, you guys need to know that you might want to consider Twilight as a how to manual ala Edward Cullen. Read how he treats Bella, what makes her swoon. Learn his techniques (you’ve already mastered the listening thing) and finally apply all that you have learned. We all want our own Edward Cullen. Read, Learn and Apply! Just a little advise from me to you.

  36. Kate

    I’m so glad that you decided to do this! Lol. I keep trying to tell my boyfriend about Edward…maybe I should direct him to your blog? 😀 Anyway, keep up the reading, and I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far (you’ll hopefully like it even more once you get further into the story).

  37. Caitlin

    This is my new favorite website.
    I’ve been trying to get my friend Chris to read these books since Twilight was released. I’ll have to show him this.
    You’re very entertaining, by the way.
    I’d love to talk to you individually about these books, but I figure that you have loads of e-mail piling up as it is.
    Well, happy reading!
    I can’t wait to read more of your thoughts.

  38. Lauren

    I absolutely love how you claim it as “The Book”. It’s getting up there with the Bible now.

  39. Lauren

    Oh, and statcounter.com is a great place for statistics :)

  40. daisy

    I love you!!!! I tried to get my ex to read at least twilight not the whole series and some how that led to “we need to break up if you cant do this simple thing for me then you’ll never do anything else that will actually be complicated” I never thought something like that would happen and I am 21 not a teenager that goes through men like some roller coaster theme park enthusiast but oh well….from now on I’ll specify that to be with me you have to read at the least book one =)

  41. Kat

    In case you havent been told yet, I LOVE that you are posting songs with each chapter. If nothing else I’d tune in for that. It is such a musical book to me, so I think its great that someone else is putting the thought into finding songs that fit!

  42. Aj (Anjulie)

    reading this reminds me of when i read Twilight a month or so ago when my life was literally interupted by this book and after a began to read the first book in a week i had read the 3 books. I’m happy that you like the book, I’m trying to get my friends to read it but they stereotype it as well. Keep reading for more twists and turns :)

  43. Brandie

    I look forward to your postings. You are such a funny guy….and yay to you for having the “you-know-whats” to read Twilight.
    <3 ya!

  44. Heidi

    I love the songs you are posting. I’m going to have to add them to my “Twilight” playlist… That’s right! I swear I’m not obsessed. :)

  45. Briana

    I quite enjoyed your two most recent updates.

    I am quite surprised at how quickly you picked up on why females (as well as a few males) all over the world are falling in love with Edward Cullen. Most girls I know have trouble explaining their obsession with the fictional character beyond his being incredibly sexy and romantic. Proding them for any elaboration proves useless, as even they aren’t truly aware of what it is about Edward that makes him so attractive.

    I look forward to hearing more about your reading endevours. And should you ever change your mind about the noose, I happen to have one. It’s just lying about, with no one wanting to claim it as there own.

  46. Briana

    I’m afraid I was too quick on the trigger, and clicked ‘submit’ before rereading what I had written.

    ‘Prodding, ‘endeavours’, and ‘their’ were all misspelled.

    I promise you, it shall not happen again.

  47. EBeth

    What do your friends think about your project? are you influencing your guy friends to try it too? Do your girl friends love Twilight? LOVE your site, can’t wait for an update!

  48. Adam

    yeah dude. im a guy and also in love with these books. they are amazing pieces of literature. also, when reading them you just get so…happy. no matter what state you are in.

  49. Kristin

    Edward is nice enough but he rather annoys me…

  50. Alice

    Dang, I wish more guys would read this book.

    Love your chapter by chapter posts with music!

  51. Lia

    More boys need to read Twilight. I’m ten, and in love with Edward.

  52. shadesofblack

    LOL i like you! it’s nice the read someone else’s POV of the book for a change.

  53. saranicole

    I finally decided to get with the program and read your blog… so here I am, near the beginning. I love that you’re picking songs to go with each chapter. When I saw “Rainy Monday”, I was like, “And he’s got great taste in music!” I love that song…

    I also really appreciate your thoughts on how Edward uses tried techniques to keep a conversation going. I need to try doing this more often… 😉

    I’m also very impressed that you’re not afraid to admit you’re reading the books. My husband read them, but he won’t talk about them with me at all… no matter how un-obsessed I try to act……

  54. Gary

    Love the Medusa reference! I love that movie (Miiiiiine ooooll miiiiine!)

  55. Sarah!~

    wow.. I wish all guys would read twilight. It would be wonderful having a guy who’s a good listener and exceptionally polite. all guys should have Edward Cullen as a role model

  56. Help Me Get To The Twilight Premiere |

    […] Reading Twilight: Chapter 2 (Open Book) The song for this chapter is Rainy Monday by… […]

  57. Rae

    twilight is awsome and you def have some great comments to the chapters, cant wait to here whats next boyo, ciao

  58. Erin!

    Lol. No mike is not some super-killer vampire slayer man. But some1 is ^_^

  59. Kara

    omg!! i love tge fact that you are like the book so far/ it only gets better.

  60. bianka

    i have just started reading the book twilight, who is charlie? is it her dad?

  61. bianka

    who is charlie in the book? sorry i acidentally typed in my wrong email addresss

  62. connor

    AH! You know shiny toy guns!!
    Wowza. A guy, reading the twilight series, who knows shiny toy guns… amazing.

  63. BrooklynBridges

    the fact that most of your readers are girls is such a shame because most guys i know wont read twilight, and are consequently terrible listeners unless you’ve got a sports game on the radio. And i want to buy that cannon from you. It could come in handy. :)

  64. BrooklynBridges

    the fact that most of your readers are girls is such a shame because most guys i know wont read twilight, and are consequently terrible listeners unless you’ve got a sports game on the radio. And i want to buy that cannon from you. It could come in handy. :)

  65. Claire

    Ahh c’est trop biien se film et j’aimerais biien voir le chapitre 2 lol =D

  66. lauren


  67. lauren


  68. M3LiSS4

    that's what i tell guys all the time! i, personally, am not on Team Edward, but i do agree that guys should learn a little bit about LISTENING. sometimes i'm talking to my guy friends and they don't seem to listen. you know how i know? they go…”What?” or “Huh?”

    guys…learn from Edward Cullen, and you could possibly get the girl of your dreams. i know its definitely worked on me. :]

    <3 M3LiSS4

  69. vampires3

    just started the book a little while ago and know im on chapter 15 of twilight

  70. vampires3

    seriously just starting wow i am slow

  71. twilight fan

    It took me less than a week to finish the book. I kept waking up at quarter after three to read it.

  72. vampires3

    holy crow how did you do that well now i am on eclipse so i guess its ok

  73. vampires3

    holy crow how did you do that well now i am on eclipse so i guess its ok

  74. Camille

    I confuse my dad like that… and make him agree to buy me stuffs….. :)

  75. Mickey Not Mouse

    Lol He should be a professional listener by now with his abilities =P

    Still loving you for this Kaleb <3


  76. Twritebite

    I wish my dad could learn from you or Edward on how to be a professional listener. He's a talker, not a listener at all. Even my mom and the counslor couldn't help him see that.
    I spent about an hour each day reading Twilight. It was enough time for me to read one chapter each day.

  77. Lisa

    I never realised how great Edward is, simply at conversation, till I just read that! It is a very good tecnique! Yes, reasons why girls like him (besides the obvious fact that he is simply gorgeous and perfect looking, of sourse!) are that he is a great listener and very polite! (For the guys that are reading this – those two characteristics are not old fashioned!)

  78. Maandacs

    Thanks for your funny comments and taking time to read the novels. It has improved my vocabulary being english as our second languageI am a mum of 2 adults, 28 and 25 yo. Both of my kids are very accomodating and thoughtful and has given me anything and everything about Twilight. I have considered Rob as my second son and my 3rd child. I never had this kind of affiliation with any books, as i never read any, that is why i only got a reading glass when i started to read the 5 books. I read them over and over again and watched the movies whenever i can. I dont think i will ever be disinterested to the novels, my husband even laminated 2 posters of Rob and Kristen and another with Taylor in the side of my bed in our bedroom. Iwill read your comments and looks forward for more. Thanks

  79. DearAlice

    I noticed that Edward repeated Bella's answers back to himself in Twilight I found it very interesting

  80. Anonymous

    Edward is an old, old man while Bella is a young High School girl… wow, kinda weird… well to some anyway.

  81. Koncisealchemy

    Oh for those who enjoy people who listen. There is this…. we'll just call it a subject for now… but it's called Nero linguistics…check it out. Linguistics in general is a fascinating subject, if you're into that kind of thing

  82. Gost_gurl_16_17

    Man i love the way you done this sign or wat ever jennier mcvay

  83. Liz

    A good listener, perhaps, but many view him as an abusive boyfriend and/or a stalker. ;D

  84. Sarah

    I think, based on your automatic liking to Edward and your pointing out his “professional listener” skill, you may end up being Team Edward (not just saying this because I am, haha).

  85. larissa

    It would have been super ultra awesome if Mike Newton was a vampire slayer. I would definately read a book in which he, Buffy, and Abe Lincoln (yes, I know he’s not ACTUALLY a vampire hunter)shot the Cullens with a crossbow (not Carlisle or Alice, I like them).
    I liked Edward and Bella in the first chapters too, it was only when I read until half of the book that I wanted to rip it up and set it on fire.

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