(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

Some Guys Will Never Learn

May 1st, 2008 at 4:01 am by Kaleb Nation

WHAT
THE (SNORT SNORT)
IS WRONG WITH YOU! ARENT U SUPPOSED TO BE SOME SORT OF A GUY OR
SOMETHING CAUSE U SURE ARENT LOOKING LIKE ONE READING A BOOK LIKE
TWILIGHT! I RED THE FIRST CHAPTER AND IT WAS SO STUPID I WANTED TO BURN IT AND I
MAY STILL DO IT! MY GF TRIED TO MAKE ME READ IT SO I JUST DUMPED
THAT (SNORT
SNORT) BECAUSE REAL GUYS…
(SNORT, SNORT,
OINK, SNORT)..

YOU (SNURGLE)! WHAT A (OINK)ING (SNORT)! MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T
READING TWILIGHT YOU WOULD HAVE A LIFE YOU (SNORT)HOLE (SLOP SLOP)!

OH AND YOU WRITE
LIKE A (SNORT) SO EVERYONE WILL HATE YOUR (OINK)ING BOOK!!! GET SOME (SLOP)S AND STOP REDING THAT STUPID BOOK TWILIGHT!!!

GJ

(Sorry, some words were lost in translation ;) but I just had to post it. Next chapter early tomorrow!)


Posted in Hatemail


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215 Responses

  1. Bellaa

    what a d(snort)bag

    Who cares – your awesome for reading it Kaleb!..I’m still trying to convince my guy friends to read it so well done

  2. Bea

    Well Kaleb, that guy is just and IDIOT! You’re the most awesome guy I know, who is brave enough to tell the world that he read’s Twilight:)

  3. Sara

    Kaleb, marry me.
    Well, I bet he wishes he was half as funny as you are, but not everyone was born with the gift of intelligence and open-mindness.
    Keep the idiocy, GJ! You’ve messed with a furious Twilight-fanatic mob.

  4. A

    His illiteracy and arrogance is quite amusing. He spends time commenting something he probably doesn’t care about for his own amusement, so don’t even bother listening to such a pig! Your website has broaden new angles and gives support to an amazing piece of literature, so just keep your head up. I look forward to see your comments on the next Twilight chapters, they seem to brighten my day just a little bit.

  5. Minh-Thu

    How dare this (snort)ing (snort)hole say something like this?! Don’t listen to him! If he don’t like Twilight, he shouldn’t visit sites about it!
    You are a funny guy and he is just jealous about the fact that so many girls like you!^^
    He will never get a girlfriend again b/c he’s so stupid!!!

  6. SnoWhite

    HA!

    Kaleb, you obviously have an incredible sense of humor (as we’ve already seen in your previous posts), but now we know that you can easily shrug off the misspelled and grammatically incorrect rants of guys who take the time to make ridiculous (but curiously heated) comments about a book that is apparently so stupid that people want to burn it.

    Thanks for breaking the mold and giving this excellent piece of literature a chance!
    We love being able to follow you on your journey! Looking forward to hearing from you again soon…

  7. Sam

    I once read a fanfic description where the author warned, “Flames will be laughed at with friends.” In this case, I think this flamer is being laughed at by TONS and TONS of Twilight fans!

    Kudos to you for shrugging off the stupidity. ^_^

  8. Jan

    Well someone didn’t wake up on the right side of the bed did they…

  9. Isobella Magpie

    Kaleb… Can you please give us fan’s his email address? we are good at behaving like a mob :D We could easily hunt him down!

    (ask MTV about the cameo reaction and MSN about the Stephenie “miller” incident or even slashfilms when they called us all teens.)

  10. Terrie Wilson

    Hi Kaleb! Its good to know that you get feedback from the most educated, well spoken men. Like all good jokes, he really made me laugh. Hard. AT him. Keep up the good work. We appreciate YOU!

  11. Jennifer

    Kaleb, don’t listen to him your a wonderful man for reading such an amazing book, and you will better yourself by learning from the all fabulous Edward (my love). He should be more careful about posting anything horrible about Twilight, he’ll have a humongous mob at his door( if we only knew where that is). So keep reading. I love your site, and my brothers is reading the saga also, and he likes it as well, he’s almost to Eclipse.

  12. Cara-shell

    haha!

    Well, isn’t he an angry little man.
    Wow.
    It’s such a shame that some guys can’t get past their selfish pride to enjoy a good story. :(

    Look forward to seeing the next post. Thanks for making us all laugh!

  13. Amy

    He might be the big manly man trolling you, but which one of you has hundreds of girls checking out his blog every day? ;-)

  14. Stephanie

    I must say I think it is awesome that you are reading the book!! The guy that sent this to you is just a loser!! Hope you are enjoying the book =)

  15. Amber

    Haha, that was funny. That guy is REALLY insecure. A guy like that will always get laughed at, while a guy like you…well, i think the above comments make it pretty clear: women want REAL men, not snobbering little babbies.
    Oh yes, and i agree Magpie; could you please send his email address? :)

  16. jannette

    well.
    he seems to be upset.
    i think he was the one that got
    dumped over a book.

    ba ha ha ha.

    serves him right. :D

    i love the fact that you’re reading the book. it’s great.

    go kaleb.!

  17. MC

    Well he was a *head. Well Kaleb, I am happy that you are not a stupid guy like him. He was an even bigger jerk emailing you that. Keep up the reading, and I hope that you enjoy it very much.

    p.s.
    I think that GJ’s girlfriend should dump his stupid self.

  18. Leanne

    Hahahahahaha, amazing! I feel sort of guilty laughing at things like this. I mean, I’m sure they meant to make a difference and didn’t mean it as a joke, but, really? Too funny.

  19. lil'

    This guy has some serious issues. But whatever, that’s his problem, right? =)
    We all love the fact that you’re reading this book!

    You’re amazing Kaleb! & I love your sense of humor ;)

  20. Cocoa

    Pure Comic Genius. Graphic and all.

  21. SarahC

    wow I am so glad that guys like that (who sent that delightful comment to Twilight Guy) are left in the world for girls like me to pick as potential boyfriends… see the vast choices I am left with? *rolls eyes*

  22. eponymous

    Geez who’s this creep think he is? If you wanna be reading Twilight, that’s your choice! Haha, good point, Amy, about the hundreds of girls ;-)

  23. Gracie

    My jaw dropped in astonishment at that pathetic excuse for an email. For someone with such a luck of intelligence I’m surprised the boy (let’s call him illiterate fool shall we?) managed to get a girlfriend in the first place. Where as here thousands of girls visit the Twilight Guy eager for the next rambles of a Twilighter-in-making. Keep up the good work. =]

  24. Phinecia

    I see you’ve met the “twi-haters” . . . LOL! Yes, they are out there but fear not for they are quickly becoming the minority! Especially with people like you popping up!

  25. Meg

    Well…I think his intelligence was made perfectly clear by his lovely use of grammar and spell check…some people will never learn.
    ;)
    Keep at it, Twilight Guy. Your musings are intelligent and witty.

  26. Filipa

    a guy that dumps his girl friend when she makes him read a book isn’t a guy to, SO THERE.

    lol, I love it how you placate haters. it’s hilarious how you make fun of this! XD

  27. Rachel

    WOW, some people have no class. What a jerk. And I totally agree with Amy!

  28. Paola

    OMGSH!! what an idiot, don’t listen to stupid neanthertals like this one, I enjoy and love your site. I bet his idea of a date includes bopping a girl on the head with a club and dragging her to his cave by the hair. stupid macho unsecured guys, they believe that they have prove their masculinity every minute of the day. I loath guys like this.

  29. Ang

    wow. what a jerk. He’s definitely insecure…..

  30. Jackie

    Hahaha. Well, wow, I definitely wouldn’t be offended by someone who said they “red” Twilight.

    Keep it up – I love hearing what you have to say!

  31. Angelina

    It’s quite funny if you think about it. He’s not MAN enough to read the book so he’ll bash anyone who has the guts to read Twilight.

    Overall very funny and very entertaining.

    and by the way….. you rock Kaleb and I’m glad you don’t listen to idiots like that. ^_^

  32. Rebecca

    I don’t think I need to say much more than what has already been said, ditto. LOL. All my love for being a guy reading twilight and having an honest perspective vs. not even finishing it and ranting about how bad it was. My friend and I are starting a myspace and pod cast not just about squealing like a couple of little girls about the books and movie but about observing the book from a literary point of view, as we are both English majors. We will be comparing the books to other famous pieces of literature and a few other things. We will be opening our site and starting our podcasts next week. I hope you take a look at it I will post a link asap. Have fun with the next chapter!!

  33. Lesley

    its actually sad how he took the time to write that. its crazy how ppl let the littlest things get to them. my 2 cents, he needs professional help :)

  34. Stephanie

    lol…how ironic. Starts the letter with “dear Kaleb” then goes “snorting” everywhere.
    this guy needs serious psychiatric help. Kaleb, you rock for reading Twilight!!

  35. Emily

    Wow. I think that’s all that needs to be said. And I totally agree with Meg about the level of his intellect. You don’t have to read Twilight (though you should, if you want to amount to anything in life) but you do need to learn to speak (and write) using proper English.

  36. Mary Alice

    What did Msn and slashfilms do? I didn’t hear about that one…

  37. Adri

    Spell check anyone? I’m glad you’re making light of this Kaleb because it really is hilarious, and ridiculous. Jealousy is an unattractive thing isn’t it?

  38. Tina

    Hmm…he says you’re a bad writer, yet misspells half the words…interesting. This guy sounds like he has real class
    (snort snort)

  39. Twifanatic Amanda

    Hahahaha that’s so funny! That guy is just jealous cause now you have something to talk to a 6 million girls about

  40. Bella_Wannabe

    “What the (snort snort) is wrong with you?!”
    …..bahahahahahaha. i about died from that. Wow. That guy is an idoit. I find it very manly that you are a…man who is admitting to reading Twilight and loving every minute of it. Great job! And keep reading! It gets sooo much better!

  41. Rise

    You know what they say about when you point a finger, there are three pointing back at you? I pity him. I guess he doesn’t realize that someone who rites lke tihs doesn’t have enough credibility to offend anyone.

  42. Nina Lisa

    Wooooow. Seriously? Is he serious?
    I’m sorry, please excuse me, I have to laugh a bit at that.
    Good thing you know how to take a good joke, because that must be a joke. Are there people like that who really exist!?

  43. Caroline

    Haha,
    All I have to say is…Will you marry me?

  44. ashley

    ill read your book!

    that guy has problems i cant believe he has a girlfriend and knows how to read…

    your like my 2 hero next to Stephenie of course!!

  45. Kate

    that guys just a idiot if he thinks the books so stuped then why douse he read a blog about it?

    I think your great for reading twilight and your writings great I love reading your reactions to things in the book.

    I’ve tried to get some guys to read twilight but they wouldn’t do you have any tips?

  46. Anne

    okay, so if this guy hates the book so much, how does he know about this website??

    sounds like someone likes the book more than he let on.

  47. Ariana! (plans on changing her name to Alice when she is 18)

    wow that guy is an idiot. other than the fact he said he wanted to burn twilight, he cant even write the word reading. he wrote “reding”! Reding? no. and anyone who says twilight stinks has to read the whole book first. nothing important happens in the 1st chapter that has anything to do with the remainder of the book. and your book will be great Kaleb..don’t worry about that obnoxious pig-no pun intended.

  48. Ariana! (plans on changing her name to Alice when she is 18)

    oh and I bet he didnt even get passed the first page of the first cahpter

    My impression of whoever he is:
    “In the OLY..olympi…Olympic pennin?…peninsula….ahh too many big words!” *turns to girlfriend “why did you just try to kill me with big words? your getting dumped!!!”

  49. Judith

    What an idiot. I like how he cares about guys reading Twilight. He needs to learn how to spell.

    Kaleb, I think that it’s extremely hawt (yes with a “aw” in it) for you to be reading Twilight.

  50. dee

    wow what a effin a-hole…. He really needs to understand that a majority of society is obsessed with these books (best books ever written in my opinion) and that if he disses the book there WILL be people after him…… i think that u-kaleb are a REAL man for trying to understand what we (twihards) are so dazzled by…. you reading the books proves a point….. there are real men in society and thats what us girls really want, someone understanding….keep up the good work reading twilight…..just ignore the dumba’s who send you crap like that one dude did..u know u r so much better than him….he needs serious help….

  51. Amber

    Ariana!(48th comment) I pretty much just laughed my pants off! hahaha, holy crap, i’m still laughing!I believe that was the funniest comment i’ve ever read.

  52. Sara ( Yeah there are maney of us)

    Hahaha, in a way, guys who read Twilight are like guys who wear pink shirts….Lol, only the manlyiest men will read Twilight..<3

  53. Tami

    Erm…. His words are quite brave and macho, but did anyone else notice that he decided to leave his comment with only his initials? Sounds like someone can dish it out, but is quite a pansy about taking it.

    Kaleb, you are the Anti-Pansy.

  54. Mirela

    Wow. Aren’t you feeling the love Kaleb. He seems to adore you!

    Keep at it! Your perspective is very interesting! You Rock.

  55. Kim

    Wow, that guy is so dumb. Kaleb, you are awesome I think it makes you more of a guy because you read twilight. plus your funny too, I promise I’ll read your book when It comes out. Hes just jelous that you are so popular :D

  56. Kiki

    LOL @ Ariana! bwahahaha… Go on with your bad self Kaleb – WE LOVE YOU! Can’t wait for your report on the next chapter!

  57. Jenna

    I hate to be crude, but to put it frankly: he isn’t getting laid because he didn’t read Twilight.

    Also, more than 50 comments have been left insulting him, and there oodles of Twilight fans rallying around you, Kaleb.

    Huzzah for intellect and creativity on this website. Opposite of Huzzah because I think that piggy education needs more funding.

  58. Amanda

    Haha! Well, I’m not quite sure how one can “red” a book.
    Silly me, I thought you were “reading” it.
    ;]
    Well, his loss. He probably just got upset after reading the first chapter because he couldn’t figure out what all the big words meant.
    XD
    Enjoy your “red”!

  59. Dani Cullen

    hahahahahahahahahahahaha omg! that guy is soooo stupid. im acutally getting my mom’s boyfriend to read it… :) *happy dances* now he can finally understand why im soooo obssessed! and how can you ‘red’ a book, last time i checked it was a color not a verb… well, im glad that your not one of those freaks who think that!!

    <33 dani cullen

  60. Angelina

    omg!

    ROTFLMAO @ Ariana (alice)

    I had to come back to see the twilighters response to this idiot pig and I read that comment. I almost fell off my chair in hysterics XD

  61. Greg

    My goodness. Kaleb, it’s Greg here again. I think someone here is a little bit bitter. He doesn’t realize how much he can learn from Edward Cullen.
    And I love his spelling skills. They are quite amusing, no? Ah… I just can’t believe that he would completely miss the obvious here. Girlfriend = trying to bring him into her life, because she’s not going to ditch Twilight for him. (Who would, the (snort)hole.) So he goes and dumps her, and then sends a message to a random guy on the internet who is writing a blog about the book? Yes. Someone is bitter. Very bitter.
    I’m bitter, too. But that’s because I lost my soccer game. – GS

  62. Nola

    …time to fry some bacon?
    ;)

  63. Morgan

    Lol Ariana that was hilarious!
    Did you just try to kill me with big words? hahaha

    As for this guy, he is an insucure idiot. I doubt that he even had a girlfriend! And i also doubt that he dumped her. If any guy i know said anything bad about Twilight, the next thing you would here would be his head hitting the floor. I cant hurt this guy, unfoutunatly, so can u pleeesee give us his email so we can murder him with hate-mail??
    -Morgan

  64. Amber

    NOLA—i do have a certain craving for pork :D I think burnt to a crisp is good, no?

  65. Robyn

    Hahaha! That was freaking hilarious. Oh gosh I wish so much that they would replace expletives with pig noises on tv.

  66. Sarah

    THAT ****ING ******BAG!!!!!!! HE CAN JUST GO TO **** AND KISS MY ****ING ***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE HE IS FOREVER TORTURED BY THE FANGIRLS HE HAS ANGERED!!! AND WHAT THE **** IS WITH HIS SPELLING!? RED? ITS SPELLED R-E-A-D YOU IDIOT! YOU **** *** YOU HORRIBLE JERK!

    Okay I got that off of my chest….. I want this guys e-mail though… I wanna nag him about his spelling, then yell at him. I mean O.M.G. I’m in rabid fangirl mode right now! That girl he dumped deserves a lot better. Jesus, I’m so mad!

    But anyway, Kaleb, you are amazing. Just keep in mind, girls love guys who read romance, especially Twilight. This ******bag is dead wrong. Guys become men when they read romance (once again, especially Twilight) because they can finally learn a little on how they need to treat women! Edward Cullen is a perfect teacher for all the guys out there!

  67. Sarah

    What an uber-toad! I hope that some of the Twilighters from the previous post find him…

  68. Elizabeth

    :O
    We should all gang up against this guy!
    BWAHAHAHAHA!
    And roast him… he is a pig anyway… YUM PORK.
    LOL.

  69. Kaleb Nation

    HAHAHA! I’m laughing at all the requests for his email address. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes back begging me not to give it out ;)

    @ Nola up there, who wants to start frying bacon. HAHA

    –Kaleb

  70. frankie

    HEHEHEHE!!! What a dirt ball! Kaleb, you rock and I’m glad you can laugh at stuff like that. Of course it probably would have been more effective if he could even spell. I find it interesting that he actually took the time to find your site and send you the email though. I’m thinking the girlfriend dumped him when giving him the book showed her just how big of an (oink)hole he is. Keep your head up Kaleb. We love you. As for this jerk…pig roast anyone? Here piggy piggy piggy.

  71. Michelle

    Hey Kaleb!
    I have to say, that made me laugh quite a bit! You’re right, some guys will really never learn *sigh*

    My personal favorite:
    “YOU (SNURGLE)! WHAT A (OINK)ING (SNORT)!”

    Somebody needs to watch their language… lol. Thanks for keeping us all entertained with your adventures in Twilight! Have fun reading! :)

    - Michelle
    BellaAndEdward.com

  72. Kristin

    Wow! Some guy actaully wrote that what a jerk cussing is bad!

  73. Abby

    Ha ha! That just made my day!

  74. Mandy

    That was amazing! Totally made my night =) It takes a real guy to read a book like Twilight.

  75. Priscilla

    All I have to say is that… wow. Um, what is a guy like that doing on this site anyway? Hmmm… He’s obviously reading it secretly and loving every word of every chapter. What a (oink)bag. Kaleb, you’re amazing, and you entertain me, which is great. Whenever I see a guy reading Twilight, or if I know that he’s read the series, my respect level rises like 60%. There’s this guy at school who calls me Priscilla Cullen every time he sees me because last month or so I saw him carrying a Twilight book and approached him. I asked if he’s reading it, and he said that he’s read it about seven times already, and that he absolutely loves the series. I was like.. wow. That’s amazing! I asked to see his book and he had written all over it. Things like “vampires rock” and “edward<3bella”.. He was a little embarrassed, but I told him that my book was written on too, except with things like “Edward Cullen<3Priscilla Cullen”, “Edward is sexy”… So yeah, I’m done rambling. Keep on reading, because trust me, that guy is into it. Really into it :]]

  76. Joanna

    That was probably the greatest comment/review thing I’ve ever read. Hilarious.
    I propose a feast! A potluck, really. We all bring things for a picnic style luncheon.
    Problem is, we need meat.

    I think you’re all thinking what I’m thinking.
    Up for hunting, anyone?

    But honestly, that would be scary. I just finished reading Lord of the Flies – good book – so hunting pigs is not on my agenda.
    It could, however, be on yours.

    Priscilla – brilliant story. I like that guy at your school. I would love for someone to call me Joanna Cullen.

    You know what’s crazy? There’s a guy in my class named Jasper. I almost DIED when I learned his name. First thing I said to him: “What’s your last name?” He responded with something generic, like ‘smith’ or ‘Jackson’. *sigh* ….

    On with the pig hunting!

  77. Jennifer

    Wow! Now that made him appear REALLY intelligent. Now ALL the girls will want him!

    *throws “GJ” an English dictionary*

  78. Sarah H.

    I like to think that I have good control when it comes to not resorting to violence, but in this one case, I think I could slip. You know, for the good of the world and all that jazz.

    And GJ should be teaching the local Ebonics class. With language like that he could truly educate the youth of today. ;)

  79. Kayla

    wow. i dont think that guy understands that his ex (snort snort) girlfriend and plenty of other girls would kick his (snort snort) for saying that! notice that hes too terrified to let you post his name.

  80. Steffie

    Amazing, I think my IQ dropped ten points from reading such trash. lol.

    Pig roast, anyone?

    Kaleb, you rock. :)

  81. Macy

    It is guys like that make girls wonder why we put up with all of the crap that guys do. Thank you for taking the time to read this book and for doing so with an open mind. If more people were able to do this with any situation the world would be a little more peaceful.

    Oh,
    And I hope you are finding these books are as good as we all think they are. I’m not sure how you are able to stop after each chapter, more power to you. I know I wasn’t.

  82. Meredith

    AHAHAHAHAH

    Oh. My. God.

    Thanks for the laugh, that was really delightful. I think my favorite part was “red” and “reding”

    honestly, what has to be wrong with someone to write something like that?

    Good for you for sticking to your guns, man! You’ve definitely got (oink)s. ;-)

    -Meredith

  83. Louise

    Sounds like this dude could learn a thing or two from Edward Cullen… Am I right??

    Haha keep it up Kaleb whoo!

  84. Carmen

    Um, for one…the guy should try reading a bit more often. The words that were not lost in translation were sadly misspelled. And for another, how did said pig boy find your website? Hmmm, me thinks he doth protest too much!

    Keep up the fun blog. It has been a pleasure to read. Hopefully you do not become so obsessed (like other casual Twilight readers) that school and all other priorities do not get pushed to the side.

    Stay focused. :)

  85. Amber

    Um, chya~
    Carmen,have you even read his other blogs? Sorry, don’t mean to be rude, but he states quite clearly that he only reads like two chaps a week is because he’s staying focused on school.
    *sigh* I know, i’m stupid for even commenting on it….*looks around, embarrased* Shouldn’t i have something better to do? Oh, heheh, i just realized that I am one of those obsessed, unfocused on reality fans! Should i get a shrink? *gets out the phone book*

  86. Amber

    *dial’s number from phone book*
    “Um, Hi. Dr. Cullen? Could you pencil me in immediately? I think i need a reality check.”
    *dial tone answers*
    O_O

  87. Amber

    Yep. WAY too obsessed.

  88. Amber

    *hehe, the cullens must get REALLY good workouts….from running through my head all day long*

    Am I high?

    I should go sleep now. Staying up this late makes me so loopy……that means please forget all the above madness.

  89. Amber

    Sooooo…it’s early tomorrow, where’s the new blog???
    *cracks myself up*
    Wow, i’m a dork.
    *minutes tick by*
    Uh……..
    *looks around, bewildered*
    What was i going to do again?
    …..
    Oh yes! Sleep!
    Yeah…sleep is good.

  90. Reading Twilight: Chapter 5 (Blood Type) | Twilight Guy - with Kaleb Nation

    [...] have to be pig-headed and macho in order to keep your man card (we saw a perfect example of this yesterday). And some girls fall for it, even if it’s not really what they want: and when girls fall for [...]

  91. inmortal

    OM(SNORT)G!!! WT(SNORT) with that (SNORT)?!!! HAHAHAHAH……… ok I can’t stop laughing. You made my day, seriously. I literally laughed out loud.

  92. Alex

    I was wondering why he wasted so much of his precious time to write this to you if he really didn’t like the book?
    just men solidarity?
    Go kaleb!
    greetings from Italy!

  93. Elspeth

    :) Kaleb, I think you should be a professional translator. I think you would get a lot of work :)
    Ironically, he cares enought about Twilight to find you site, and send a message :)
    Happy Reading

  94. Cyndi

    Kaleb as everyone else has said here, don’t listen to what he has to say. I think its great for you to reach out and read a book that has been read mainly by girls and that is clearly something that us girls like. Unfortunately for him, he now has just about the entire population of girls ready to kick his (snort oink)

  95. pruedencehalliwell

    “I’m a terrifying ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitch forks!”

    Yeah, in this scenario, he would be the ogre, and all of us Twilighters would be the angry mob with the torches and pitchforks…only he wouldn’t be cool like Shrek, so we would actually have to murderlize him.

    –and Ariana with post #48, that was hilarious!

  96. Lauren

    This is the most comments you’ve gotten on a post!

    lol you’re so hilarious! I love how you take such an ignorant persons jealousy, and turn it into a knee-slapper!

    It’s great that you’re smart enough to not let all the negative comments get to you. Hoorah for Twilight Guy!

  97. Lauren

    Oh, and it’s SO obvious that you certainly DO have a life! You tell us all about it! If you didn’t have a life, you’d be done with Twilight by now.

    Good luck with Math Final!

  98. Deja

    What a flipping jerk…You are so awesome and your writing is hilarious(on your blog) and you are brave for actually reading these books publicly!!! I mean the are fantastic!!! So yeah he was a butt head and really illiterate…

  99. Karen

    Even though it was really mean, I couldn’t help but laugh. You are awesome for reading this series & not being insecure to show that you do.

  100. Joy

    ha. ha. ha. ha. that reminds me of one… two… seven… twenty… well, every guy except a select few in my school. it was funny the way you put it, though. no, it was hilarious.

  101. Victoria

    I don’t think i’ve ever seen someone so closed minded… what an idiot. you cant expect to get into a book in just the first chapter. i hate when people act like that. i have some pretty harsh words for him but im keeping my mouth shut, cause there wouldn’t be anything but snorts and oinks left to read because that’s all that would be voiced… just coming out in a steady stream. plus, there is no need for that kind of language. how immature. ill read your book, Kaleb. I hope if I get published you’ll read mine too!

  102. Makayla

    Wow.

    Boys like this make God cry.

    I have a feeling this guy drives a Hummer to compensate for something.

  103. marisa

    haha
    he thought he was being macho, but you’re the one with all of the girls flocking to your page every day :P
    the world is definitely lacking really truly good guys. that one is proof. no, reading twilight is not a criteria for a good guy, but he is just a jerk.
    thanks for being so cool and talented :]

  104. Christy

    My question is…….why was he on your page in the first place if he hates twilight….hmmm…..

  105. Faith

    ohh watever to him … trying to be all guy-ish, well, if he didn’t have any insecurity wid being macho, he wuldn’t be scared to read the book(mayb scared that his friends wuld make fun of him and call him gay)
    aha wen i was reading that..omg he’s just very lucky i don’t noe where he lives… i was yelling and swearing at the computer(im not crazy=p) but still laughing at wat he had to say..he’s lucky that none of us Twilighters noe where he lives… ^-^

  106. Jessica

    WOW!! That guys has a dirty mouth… But are you KINDDING ME!!?? Was an idiotic guy!! And what the crap was he doing on TwilightGuy page if he hate Twilight?? That guy is the one who needs a life!! Sending HATE mail… Yeah… Okay… That’s having a life…

    Well Twilight Guy (Kaleb) I think it’s VERY brave of you reading Twilight and ACTUALLY telling people about it!! Hope all is well!! Good luck with the book!

  107. amelia

    whateva
    he is soo wack 4get him kaleb cause ypu are funny and cool for readin twilight

  108. Dani

    I love reading this blog. That guy is stupid, talking about macho stuff.
    He is the one who needs a life.

    Guys can read Twilight. It doesn`t make you less macho.

    Keep going1!

  109. Chelsea

    The fact that it doesn’t faze you at all is just awesome, Kaleb. Wheeeee!

    I’m sure you’re as convinced about this as I am, but there are tons of guys who read the books and are completely and totally manly. Some people are just so BIASED against vampires and romance that they just can’t get past it! It’s hilarious!

    Eagerly awaiting more updates…

  110. AJ

    Ha! That guy should learn that everyone is in LOVE with Edward Cullen and the moment that he bashed the book, he lost any chance of having a girlfriend for the next five to ten years. He certainly doesn’t have one now.
    That, and if he hated Twilight SO much, why/how did he find your lovely site? He either is a big enough loser to go looking for a good way to destroy his reputation or he really didn’t hate the book all that much. ^^

  111. Charlotte

    He’s just jealous that you have tons of girls coming to your site and being like “Kaleb, you rock!” and he doesn’t even have a girlfriend anymore (I bet his girlfriend dumped HIM because she realized what a pig he is). REAL MEN READ TWILIGHT!!!!!

    Oh, and I agree with AJ (comment #110).

  112. Miss Picky of the Greater NY

    Oh, now that is indeed unfortunate. He gives guys a bad name. I frown upon that.

    You, however, show that, yes, there are some decent dudes out there.

    Be not discouraged, noble Kaleb. Thou hast the bravery of Beowulf.

  113. jenna

    Maybe if he spent more time actually reading instead of trying to be his idea of what a “real guy” should be, he would know that “red” is a color and not the past tense version of the verb read. And speaking of real guys, my bf is 6-foot-6 former all-state all-star in both fooball and basketball, he loves cars, anything to do with sports, and read all 3 twilight books that are out so far and loved them. We can’t wait for the 4th. A REAL GUY wouldn’t write something so childish and idiotic.

  114. glitterskin

    I only have three words for this guy:

    WHAT A DORK!!!

    He should learn to read, write, and speak properly before bashing anyone with his fabulous literary capacities. 8o/ (and his mother needs to wash his mouth out with soap — preferably Lifebuoy so he’ll get soap poisoning, for using such filthy and unimaginative language!)

    Thank goodness for guys like you Kaleb! Keep up the good work!

  115. bee

    PIGGIES?!?! DON’T LIKE ‘EM!

    mwhahaa x

  116. Natalie

    Kudos to you, Kaleb. That’s all I’ve got to say, since all the other girls have said it all.
    I personally think, that the poster there, is quite jealous of you.

  117. Bea

    dude I’d kick this piggy’s curly little tail if i’d ever met him. Kudos to you and all you do! know that we all back you up 100%

  118. Abbey

    Edward does not exist. The pig up above can sometimes make us sad about this. Guys like you, Kaleb, make us realize that there are still worthy fish in the proverbial sea. Thanks for this, it made me laugh! Oh, and if you still have an opening in that angry mob, you can count me in.

  119. anonymous

    u s***y ba****d!!!! how could u?! u have no sense in books! you are a hole, im telling u a hole. i hope u die in one!!!!!! insulted? i think so. i really admire kaleb for trying to read this book so u just shut the f*** up and go shove ur insults up ur dumb a**! i cant believe im wasting my precious time typing this, u son of a b****! i hope ur gf leaves u stranded on an island!

  120. Kay

    I think he’s secretly in love with the book and is just scared to admit it ;) hahaha. Love the snorts! That’s tooooo funny. Kaleb your awesome!

  121. Mary

    hahaha!! Wow that was hilarious! Hope he enjoys being laughed at. But, yeah, I’m mad at him too. I really like that angry mob idea, and the roast pig one.

    Ariana, you almost made me die laughing!!!! Too many big words!!

    Kaleb, you’re awesome!!

  122. July

    WHAT A MORON!!!!!!

  123. July

    Another thing, I really do think it would be in the best interest of earth that you give me his email address. If you don’t, i will become a vampire and feast on any man with the initials “G J”. If you do give it to me, I will be a vegetarian vampire with only one exception.

  124. Laura

    That’s just rude! I think it’s awesome that guys read Twilight and definitly more guys need to be like Edward. Besides, Kaleb, your site is freaking hilarious. Me and my friends talk about it now at school and you definitly rock our socks!

  125. jessica

    well that guys intelligence level is shown in the fact he cant spell read! So don’t listen to anything that moron had to say! I would also like to point out that you probably get a lot more attention from girls than that guy ever will!

  126. mehek

    i love how he mispelled the word “read” this is why our teacher tells us not to drink or smoke anything!!

  127. Reading Twilight: Chapter 11 (Complications) | Twilight Guy - with Kaleb Nation

    [...] Our friend GJ sent me another email, filled with even more oinking. I am considering posting it. Keep an eye out [...]

  128. Hope

    What a (snorting)ing (snort)hole.

    Ew… and he can’t even spell! I’m in the 8th grade, and I think I have a better grammar education than he does. You need to post the email– his stupidity humors me!

  129. mehek

    please post his next e-mail. and his adress(home and online) so we can pelt his house with rotten apples. JKJK anyway a guy who keeps sending you the wonderfully insightful emails has absolutely no life. if he is coming on this sight to bash you and twilight(gasp)then try to see if we can either report the little son of a (oink)or block him

  130. Lissete [Frerard Addict]

    That was so hilarious that it didn’t bother me at all. Kaleb, you are a genius, please continue your many witty talents. =]

  131. Mara-Kate

    Please post his email! I know some girls who know some girls that have copies of Twilight we’d like to hit him with ;) jk keep up the awesome work kaleb, youre future gf (unless you have one already) will be completely smitten with your ability to not only read Twilight but LEARN from Edward! Way to go Kaleb! :)

  132. Twilight Fan (of Course)

    Guys an idiot. My guess is he had nothing better to do without his girlfriend. Guys who read twilight I personally think are more macho. Because they got guts. And even more guts if they admit. I actually got my guy friend to read it now he is hooked!

  133. Twilight Fan (of Course)

    Oh ya forgot to say you rock dude, and any other guy who is a fan of Twilight.

  134. Kelsey

    what i find funny is the fact that he claims he hates twilight so much and thinks your an idiot for reading it, then why the heck is reading your blog about it? Better yet, why has he continued to read your blog and email you a second time?

  135. Meilyng

    DOn’t worry Kaleb….all girls are with you on this one…besides, that guys the idiot….i mean every girl would kill for an edward, and he refuses to learn…oh well, his loss…

  136. Kristin (K-Tread)

    I’d like to remind the “pig”–a.k.a. most disliked man in the world for dissing Twilight–who has a fan-base of thousands of girls. Yes, that’s right, it’s the awesome, humorous, brave fellow who is reading a well-written book and giving an honest opinion with tasty bits of funny sprinkled on top.

    Jealousy, my dear GJ, is not an attractive emotion.

    No worries, Kaleb, you have me and the rest of the Twilight fans behind you!

  137. Some Guys Will Never Learn (II) | Twilight Guy - with Kaleb Nation

    [...] last heard from GJ on the first of this month. Just so you know, he can’t sue me, because of the email policy. There goes GJ’s sole [...]

  138. amelia

    wow
    there are some carzy haters out here…

  139. Caitlin

    Wow, what did ‘Twilight’ ever do to him? I think Mr. GJ needs to take a whole bottle of chill pills!

    Plus, I doubt GJ will be getting any marriage proposals anytime soon (Sara’s post: “Kaleb, marry me.”).

  140. Rani B

    Wow. It’s amazing this guy got past 1st grade if he can’t even spell “read” right. Then again, who says he did? Maybe he got left back fifteen times. Either way, he’s got some serious self-pity issues if he thinks he’s got to insult you to make himself feel better for being such a jerk.

  141. Kyra

    LMAO!!! What a moron!!! He can’t even spell the word “read” right! I think your amazing for reading Twilight and hope that more guys read your blog and want to read Twilight!

  142. Mandy

    Real dudes read Twilight… And I’m not the one that falls for the sensitive guys, but if I caught my boyfriend reading Twilight, I would be all “Holy crap! oh my god! yay!” squeal squeal jump fer joy, y’ know?

  143. Jenny

    Honestly, that letter is a load of crap, but I laughed all the way through it. Honestly, what sort of idiot dumps his girlfriend because she wanted him to read? What an oinking pratt!

    :)

  144. Christine

    OK, people, give GJ a break! He’s simply giving his opinion on a fine literary work! If a book becomes this popular there are sure to be a few people out there who don’t like it! Not everybody will like everything you do! Also, not everyone happens to have spelling skills. And also some people like to swear. A lot. They probably do it so often they don’t even notice anymore. So you should give GJ a chance for the fine gentleman I’m sure he is on the inside!!! The end

  145. Tanya

    I totally understand, Christine. Some guys just lack spelling skills and like to swear, and never use correct grammar, attack people they don’t know, talk bad about books they haven’t read, dump their girlfriends over a book, and enjoy sounding stupid with almost every syllable that comes out of their noses. It’s totally not their fault! Can they help being stupid? No!

    (by the way kaleb… all that I just said….was a bunch of (oink).)

  146. Mandy el Fanpire

    Tee-hee! Kaleb, your books seem really interesting by their description, dont let that party-pooper get you down! He doesn’t have a popular website, now does he? Hmmmmm.

  147. Christine

    In response to Ms. Tanya, you need to realize that in life, some people will be the type that make your hair curl and your milk curdle and you have to live with it. There are much worse people out there than a guy who sits on his computer all day and has a tendency to swear and insult people. Anyway, Tanya, I hope you are not too abashed by my sticking up for Mr. GJ because I seem to stick up for the antagonists a lot.
    :) <–smiley-face

  148. Divya

    Don’t worry Kaleb you write amazingly and are a real inspiration. Though I don’t expect you to believe such a, well, his description of you covers him.

  149. Ally

    I am confused. If the piggy doesn’t like Twilight why would he go to Stephenie Meyer’s cite? Or find this cite?

    P.S. If I ever see someone reading Twilight, I will walk up to them and immediately start a conversation.

    The piggy is so dumb. *shake head*

  150. Kierstyn

    Kaleb rocks the world for reading this book and dont let ANYONE tell you otherwise!

  151. Mickey :D

    My friend Phil kept nagging at me for being completely in love with Edward.
    So, to see what my friends were fussing and fighting over to see who was actually married to Edward (we’re immature, I know), he decided to give it a try.
    He’s hooked too.

    Although Edward is a bit too prissy for me. Jacob is evil though.

  152. Nora

    No, GJ, YOU write like a (snort).

  153. Ashley

    Wow, why would he care if you’re reading Twilight when he’s never even read it?

    He sounds retarded and he’ll never have a nice life if he dumps girls because they read Twilight.

    But it’s obvious that he’s talking out of his ass, no one would do that and he’s just trying to seem all manly, when in reality, he probably is a geek who stays in his room all day because no one wants to be around him :)

  154. Briar

    *falls of bed with laughter* OH MY GOD! this guy… is such an idiot! I doubt he’ll ever get a girlfriend again if that’s how much he hates Twilight. The horrendous grammar and spelling was thoroughly amusing. And he thinks you’re the idiot. HA! and bravo to the marriage proposal comments!! *claps* But hey, what’s one more? *wink* You’ve gotten so much support, that’s great.
    Kudos to your terrific sense of humour! And your ability to let this roll off your shoulder.
    <3 NICE WORK!

  155. Rose

    GJ should see that you’re the one that now has a fanbase because you read the book.

    :)

  156. Carley

    I say He’s a (snort)! Keleb so soo cool, My BF reads Twilight (He’s so cool, and sexi!) and he’s not gay! Keep reading Keleb, we believe in you!! ♥♥♥

  157. Dianne

    Haha! First of the day!

    Kaleb Nation, you must get this a lot, but you are awesome.

  158. Dianne

    Hmm. The time is an hour different on this website. Boo. I’m not first of the day anymore T_T

    You’re still awesome, Kaleb!

  159. Jenn

    ok…he just lost any chance of a love life for like the next 12 years.
    he’s just jealous b/c he knows that we all love u and real men read twilight. And even if they don’t (they still should), they don’t bash on the book! b/c they know they’ll get the $^l+ beaten out of them by a mob of angry girls who are determined to defend edward.
    <3 u Kaleb ;D

  160. Integra

    For the record: guys like this only get screwed through horrible accidents, often involving copious amounts of alcohol. At least that’s what I like to tell myself. In other news, I’m relatively certain that your chances of being sexed have risen considerably because of reading Twilight. Just so you know.

  161. Bella~Marie (I wish)

    Don’t worry. Those are the types of people who show up in the ER and get asked by the doctors, “So why did a mob of girls knock you out with copies of Twilight???”

    haha you really should give us his email! :)

  162. Sapphpaw

    Can I just laugh at the rediculissness of his comments? I’m serious…… The only way he *cough* if ever *cough* had a girlfriend, was if she didn’t know about his big fat ego, or she wasn’t the smartest person around.

    Anyway, some guys will seriously never learn to let people have opinions……

    Anyway, how does he even know about this site if he hates twilight so much….*fingers chin* Perhaps he really loves it, so he looked it up……

    BTW GJ, DON’T DISS EDWARD! Even if he is fictional, he’s triple…..no quadruple the amount of man you’ll ever be!

  163. Vanniey

    …..XDLOLXDLOLXDLOLXDLOLXDLOLXDLOLXDLOL
    This is like one of my guy friends that thinks me and my friend are a couple of goofballs for liking the series. However, I got him to shut up under threat of death, so he hasn’t said anything for a while. :P Keep up the good work, Kaleb!

  164. Ritz (a guy)

    I’M A GUY. I LIKE THIS SERIES.

    That dude’s hilarious. I wonder how many times he visits his therapist a week. :-) nice job with the site by the way keep it up.

  165. Kathryn

    I find it somewhat humorous that he has such terrible spelling and yet he got “Twilight” right every time; despite his obvious loathing for it. I don’t know about you, but that word seems a bit too tough for his level of intellect. All I can say is, “What an ‘oinking’ loser.”

  166. Jess

    What a jerk. His poor girlfriend, he dumped her just for getting him to read Twilight? Good riddance for sure, but still…

  167. saranicole

    Priceless.

  168. Marita

    hehe the fact that he went out of his way to curse you out makes me think there’s more to the story then that. I have two theories on what really happened:

    theory 1: His girlfriend suggested he’d read it and he started to but saw Edward and read about Edward and felt intimited and jeaous that his girlfriend may like a boy like Edward.

    Theory 2: the girl jump him cause see read about jacob and Edward. Thought to herself there better guys out there.

    either way I can see this girl better off.

    <3marita

    Ps. I love blogs

  169. Azrael

    I am quite amused. Obviously this ignoramus will never learn to overcome stupid and stereotypes however eventually he may actually read a book.

    Having read Twilight I have actually enjoyed the book and I find all the things about it being a ‘girl book’ to be rubbish.

    This also brings up something else though. Why are people so rude on the Internet when they are probably not nearly so rude in real life?

    Best regards.

  170. Ella

    HAHA the irony….

    I wonder how he found your site? :D someone with those feeling certainly wouldnt have be searching for twilight related material!

    I believe he secertly has his own obession with it!

  171. Stephanie K.

    Wow… Obviously THAT person can’t read. That is quite pitiful.

  172. Alice Cullen

    Man I just might pee my pants. What a (snort) bag. Kaleb he’s just SUPER jealous because you have millions of girls who would date you if they got the chance or tackle you if they saw you on the street (out of love) and he’s probably some fat (snort snort) who likes to take out his anger because he got dumped! GO TEAM ALICE!

  173. Dania Cullen

    haha i might just die of laughter. That guy is so pathetic. Kaleb, he’s just jealous about how popular you are and that you can publicly annouce your reading twilight, making him look very un-manly. I think only a really manly guy can admit that he reads twilight. keep up the good work and i cant wait ’till your book comes out!

  174. Lila

    Hooray for Kaleb and his awesomesauce Twilight-reading ness!

    Snort that snort)er for snorting you like that.

  175. Jason Alba (al - buh)» Blog Archive » How To Deal With An Internet Stalker

    [...] blog (and then, his readers continue to make fun of the loser).  It’s pretty funny… check out this post.  But not everyone is a blogger.  Here’s what I recommend: DO NOTHING. Seriously.  You [...]

  176. Amanda

    I am willing to bet that he is a liar and finished the entire series in under three days.

  177. CJ

    Im a guy who has read the whole twilight series three times each, and PROUD OF IT!

  178. CJ

    And anyone who has prblem with that can kiss my ***

  179. CJ

    He’s is so stupid, I actually feel sorry for him. Is that bad? I wish I knew were he lives.

  180. CJ

    I would just like to thank (from the bottom of my heart) the three girls that turned me on to twilight. “Alice”, “Rosalie” and “Emily”, thank you from the bottom of my heart! If you see this, you know how thankful I am.

  181. CJ

    Kaleb, you rock. And don’t let any pig(pun intended)that guys shouldn’t read Twilight. I visit this site every day. I will definitly read your book. I have a lot of favorite authors, and you will be one of my favorites. I want to kill him!!!

  182. Nazneen

    Hahahaha, nice job with the snorts :D

  183. Phailian_the_wolf

    Haha that was funny. ALL GUYS SHOULD READ TWILIGHT!

  184. Maranda.

    Well ; He’s a ignorant person && i’m glad you’re reading this Kaleb !
    You’re the only guy i know to read it and it shows that you have feelings which some guys have None !
    Thank’s alot for making a Great WebSite !
    -Maranda. !

  185. Nessie

    That person is very rude. It is your life, Kaleb and you make your own decisions. If someone was low enough to do that, they are the one that needs the life so that they can have other things to do than make fun of people and thier decisions. I think you should be proud of reading Twilight because I don’t know one guy (Except you, not that I know you) that was confident enough to read it.

  186. Luke

    Am I the only guy here that read Twilight without being told to read it once? And no, I’m not some loser with no life who spends his Friday nights talking to inanimate objects. And I thought pigs were the good guys…

  187. Georgia

    What a snorter.

  188. Madison

    Funny how you edited everything uot with ‘snorts’ and ‘oinks’. It ‘kinda’ made him look like a fool!

  189. Insane Jasper Fan, AKA Erika

    Ok, a few questions:
    1) Why the heck is this guy on this amazing website if he hates Twilight so much?
    2) Doesn’t he have better things to do than go and bash not only Twilight, but Kaleb’s book as well? I’m definitely getting your book, by the way, Kaleb.
    3) Isn’t it pitiful how people lack spelling abilities these days?
    4) Why didn’t he use spell check or something? At least he’d save himself a tiny bit of humiliation.

  190. Tara

    Hmmm, the illiterate dumb-dumb just boosted your site visits! Not only do your readers still visit Twilight Guy for your clever wit, but now we wait for a possible return of a BOY who obviously doesn’t read much himself. This dude has nothing on you Kaleb. I doubt he has one tenth the adoration, respect, acclaim, and intellect that you possess without effort.

  191. Ana

    I just wanna say that this kind of guys, are idiot and we just have to ignore, because they just dont know better.

    my hope is that Portuguese Guys and other gus from around the world follow your good example, and realize that is nothinhg wrong in a boy read romance, specialy if is a twilight book.

    for the boy who send this message, i just wanna say who are realy, but realy an idiot

  192. Dana

    wow. This guy deserves an award. what a nutbar.

  193. Dara E!

    Hahahaha! I HAVE to get my guy friends to come check out your site! Maybe it’ll help keep a girlfriend for more than a month…

  194. Stef

    you are one lucky man.
    all the girls/ladies/women/sheilas ;) that have commented on this have been saying how great you are, etc.
    GJ definitely got it wrong, haha.

  195. Nathan

    Is being a guy and reading Twilight that big of a deal? I’ve read the whole saga and, last time I checked my pants (which wasn’t too long ago), I’m a male.

    I sure don’t have parades of fans, though

  196. Nathan

    Let me cover myself, also: don’t think I’m saying that as an insult. I’m just saying, it’s not that big of a deal.

  197. ~Tina

    Kaleb, you never fail to amuse me. Maybe I’ll design a famous controversial website just so I can post the hate mail! ;)

  198. liana

    it's to bad this guy dumped his gf because he's definitely not gonna get a new one. Kaleb you just need to wipe your
    (slop) with this (snort). You are awesome and what you're doing takes a lot of cojones. this entire site is so great and i am so sure that Bran Hambric will be amazing. i cannot wait to pick up a copy in September.
    Love,
    Liana
    lianaizcoolz@yahoo.com

  199. Leah

    Kalab, I personally think u are a great writer and women like sensitive guys and Edward proves it and so do you so (oink) that loser.

  200. Leah

    Kalab, I personally think u are a great writer and women like sensitive guys and Edward proves it and so do you so (oink) that loser.

  201. Mickey Not Mouse

    LMAO!!! perfect example of why Women prefer a fictional character!!!! <3 You're an Exception Kaleb ^.^

    –Mickey

  202. Pulak Kumar

    Letters like these make the Twilight-bashing editorials and reviews look like pieces of classic literature. Only a churl/doof/macho-obsessed idiot/guy who believes Uncyclopedia is about the truth would take any of this crap seriously

  203. Wing Commander Vinyaya

    Wow…. that guy CANNOT SPELL AT ALL. Dickhead.

  204. Ari

    Kaleb, you're so manly, you're braving “Twilight”. *applause*

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    You actually make it appear so easy along with your presentation but I to find this topic to be actually one thing which I think I would never understand. It kind of feels too complicated and extremely large for me. I am taking a look forward for your next put up, I’ll attempt to get the hold of it!

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