Some Guys Will Never Learn (II)

Hah, this is interesting.

I would count the spelling mistakes, but I'm a horrible speller. So, I'd end up making a fool of myself.

How do you put up with people like that? I'd get very annoyed if I were you.

What. A. Loser.

I hope he feels better, because he sure made ME feel better (laughing really DOES brighten up my day).

I'm glad he pointed out that Edward's not real... that really took me (and the rest of the world) by surprise. I wouldn't have figured it out, if it weren't for him, so I owe him one.

It really brightens my outlook too, knowing that this bloke would probably bash a can of bent peaches on his forehead, if only to prove the world his manliness...

Including chat speak, I counted 15 mistakes. But I'm probably wrong.

Keep up the posting, I doubt I'm the only female who gets a kick out of reading your blog.

It's hard to tell what counts as a spelling mistake and just plain stupidity. Like the fact that he spelled your name wrong, for one. Oh, and the fact that he can't take the time to type out an entire word (like "O" instead of "Oh"). That being said I'm giving it a shot in the dark, with your name misspelled three times and words not typed out included, as 12. How'd I do?

Major douche bag

well excluding all the OMFGS and O's (about 4/5 - making it 12/13) there are 8 - including the fact that he spelt your name with a C instead of a K three times. I think I'll go with the unlucky number 13....and 12.

He's right he shouldn't read twilight. He needs to read a dictionary.

Ugh. I am disgusted to even be the same species as him.

You hear that? That is the sound of a million fans getting ready to go trample that moron into oblivion.

Wow, this guy is seriously pathetic. Did this guy even pass grammar school?! And that girl would have torn him to pieces if he'd have torn up her book. I've got 14 spelling mistakes and the whole thing is a grammar nightmare. I think my eyes may actually be bleeding. Come on Kaleb, just accidentally give us his address. Pretty please with sugar on top.

Kaleb you are awesome, he didn't even get your name right. What a good laugh.

He is probably one of the biggest low life's ever born. That whole email he sent you was a spelling mistake, has he graduated from primary school?

PWAHAHAHAH... with all the HEEHAAWWWW I suddenly remembered CAT AND DONKEY when they mixed their bodies in Shrek III LMAO!!!

Srsly... what the (heehawwww) with this (heehawwww)???

I decided to be extra super picky, so here's my breakdown by type of spelling error:

yor=your
coud=could
bcause=because
anywher=anywhere
proll y=probably
wit=with
soo=so
sware=swear
o=oh
u=you (x2)
now=know
freakin=freaking

Basic Spelling Mistakes: 13

yd=extraneous nonsensical letters?
girls=girl's
calebs=caleb's
read=reads

Including misspellings due to grammar and stupidity: 17

caleb=Kaleb (x3)

Including misspellings due to not being able to get a name right (mistakes because he spelled it correctly at the end, so he knew it): 20

prolly=probably (separate from other proll y)
btw=slang
omfg=slang
cause=because (x2)
gf=girlfriend

Including slang and laziness: 26

And that's my final answer. Twenty-six.

Kaleb I heart you.. I got to 18 spelling mistakes before I gave up. As an English major, it's very frustrating to read such poor grammar.

*Love!!*

It was almost painful reading that...I am a grammar and spelling freak. haha

I don't understand if he hates Twilight & this site so much, why does he "waste" his time writing to you? It doesn't make much sense...

As for all of the mistakes, I am not sure what you consider a "spelling" mistake...
I counted fourteen, including the "bcause," "yd," "freakin," "o," and two "u." If you count him spelling your name wrong, it's seventeen. If you want to count the "BTW," "OMFG," and "GF" it's twenty. Plus, he missed the hypen in "e-mail," the apostrophe in "girl's," and made a tense error in the second to last sentence.

Yeah, I could go on...
I overanalyzed, I know, but I have nothing better to do. My mom's an English teacher, so it's a curse. :]

Anyway, happy reading Kaleb!

I think it's 17. This is just plain stupidity. Proper spelling and grammar are quite easy considering we live in the computer age; every computer I've used has spell check.

Holy Crow, I need bleach from the spelling! >_<. But honestly, I think it's rather funny how he spent so much time 1) reading your site and 2) to write you. I mean, if you really don't like someone or their site don't go back to it and don't talk to them!

11 mistakes, 8, if you dont count the prolly, which he PROBABLY did on purpose (I left out the slang, comp lingo, and shortenings.)

By the way, only a LOSER talks about imaginary girlfriends to people online. What a dork, putting his nonexistent life out there and giving explanations too...Just proves it even more...How uncool.

coud - could
prolly - probably
bcause - because
btw - by the way
yd - yesterday
omfg - oh my [oink] god
caleb - Kaleb
anywher - anywhere
proll y - probably
cause - because
calebs - Kaleb's
i - I (the one thing he DIDN'T capitalize)
caleb - Kaleb
prolly - probably
wit - with
soo - so
sware - swear
o - oh
u - you
now - know
gf - girlfriend
u - you
freakin - freaking

Wow, he finally got your name right.
The line between bad grammar and bad spelling was more than a little blurry, so I erred on the side of doubt.

That comes to 23

I doubt that his girlfriend called him back. If I had ever dated anyone with the grammatical skills of a two year old and somehow managed to escape the relationship, I most certainly wouldn't be calling him back.

Anyways, I just wanted to say I love this site and I check it daily. Its nice to read a guy's perspective on my current obsession and I can't wait for your next update.

I got thirteen mistakes, not counting grammatical and shortenings (btw, gf etc.)

What an idiot.

Well i counted around 12 not counting words like btw, etc...

yeah this guy is such a loser that he has nothing better to do than writing this stupid thing.... what an idiot..

He is so...ENVIOUS!

i could read it in his tone... he just knows he cannot be the perfect guy so he takes it out on him.
His poor girlfriend! (unless he doesn't have one because he is so anti-edward behavior)

Hmmm, what an ass! I counted 16. I didn't include substitutes such as "u" for "you", etc, as I use them myself. But there was no excuse for the rest.

Yes, what an ass. :P Except that's not fair to donkies. ;)

I'm a bit stunned that he feels this kind of intense hatefulness. It's bizarre in the extreme that he can feel such fury and loathing towards a book he's never read and its fans. He's seriously abusive, and I have to admit I'm a bit concerned about his girlfriend. She seems to need some help leaving him, and I hope she finds it.

Kaleb, I get a kick out of your site - keep up the great work! :)

Oh and I'll go with Asta's response for spelling mistakes; she was very thorough :)

I counted 12 including your name several times..The guys a JERK...I especially don't like it when he says that Woman Author thing... how dare he put STEPH down...If he were here I would squish him like the FLEA brain that he is!!!

This is very entertaining, haha. I can’t believe this person. He’s just jealous of Kaleb’s awesomeness. Here are the spelling/grammar errors I found – all 27 of them o.o

“…so I come back to your site” – should be ‘came back’. Past tense, ja?
yor – your
coud – could
prolly – probably
bcause – because
girls- girl’s
btw – by the way
yd – yesterday?
omfg – hee haw heehawing hee
‘millions of fans" – couldn’t seem to make up his mind whether to use quotation marks or apostrophes…
caleb – Kaleb
anywher – anywhere
proll y – probably
calebs – Kaleb’s
i – uncapitilised
caleb – Kaleb
cause – because
prolly – probably
wit – with
soo – so
sware – swear
o – oh
u – you
now – know
gf – girlfriend
“… anybody who read Twilight” – should be ‘reads Twilight’
u – you
Plus endless structure errors.

I'm not English, so I'm gonna say too many to count them.

i couted around 20. excluding obvious slang like BTW.

i got 15 mistakes but thats only if u count GF as a mistake. and dont count ur name. he got those wrong too though...

god. some people are so retarded. I can think of 3 guys at my school who could have sent this though... isn't that sad? I'd take Edward over all of them any day...

Kaleb, your site makes my life.

Sounds like someone is jealous of a fictional character. Perhaps he should return to the primary school they kicked him out from and beg the them to teach him how to spell.

I'm not bothering counting the mistakes, what's the point? We all know he's an imbecile.

I love your blog kaleb, keep up the good work =)

He made a LOT of mistakes!
I counted 20 altogether.

I believe I count 13, but I am not sure if I should count abbreviations. If so, then it is 15. The fact that he spelled your name two different ways was quite amusing.

Alright. Counting "1337-speak" and incorrect abbreviations (ex: "yd" for "yesterday"), as well as words that are technically spelled correctly, just in their wrong form (like a verb conjugated incorrectly, ex: "write" instead of "writes"), I've counted 19 errors. Throwing in the three times he misspells your name, that brings it up to 22.

And don't worry. I think we all know who the "heehaw" is here.

Does this boy have a life? Can he even read? I am starting to believe he is jealous because Kaleb can read the book and he can't. That or Edward envy!

Keep up the great work Kaleb, I love your blog!

Hey people, so I am sitting here tonight, replying to emails and watching Youtube, and I turn and suddenly there is all this light coming from my window.

Turns out, I went on answering mail all the way through Thursday night and into Friday morning without knowing. It is now 6:30 AM the next day. I just never went to bed.

It feels absolutely crazy. I mean, it seemed like just a second ago it was midnight.

But hopefully, some of you got some replies to your emails ;) . Now I'm off for...breakfast. Then a nap

:)

--K

Including chat-speak I got 19 mistakes.

So, if this guy hates the series so much:
1- Why does he keep coming back here?
2- Why does he care if /you/ are reading the series?
3- How does he know the correct spelling of Edward's full name?
4- Why does he care enough to find specific people's names on your site and call them out???

But really, he's not very smart. For most girls, acting like Edward (protective, passionate, gentlemanly, etc) is a big plus for guys...

i got 8 but im probably wrong.

I got 21 mistakes...

Wow, dude needs to get a life. I mean really, does he not have anything better to do than blast Twilight? I'm agreeing with Melissa! He's probably a closet Twilight Fan that is so afraid of being caught that he goes out of his way to blast it.

Alright, including all of his acronyms, the three times he misspelled your name, and err everything else (I also counted when he said "proll y *insert something else here" as one mistake)...I got:

19

He officially fails. =)

huh.

I'm confused as to why this guy even cares.

oh wait.
I got it.

He's totally jealous.

hahah.

I got 20 mistakes.... wow this guy just makes me laugh every time you post his stuff

So I counted 9 spelling mistakes and 5 uses of abbrivations that shouldn't be used (like U, O, YD, GF)

And I just want to say how amazed I am that people will waste so much of there life dumping on other people. So he doesn't like Twilight get over it dude, leave the people alone who can see if for the awesome book it is. And obviously this guy has no life and needs to contact you in order to have interaction with other people.

Thanks for something so entertaining! :-)
Julia

i got 10 without the "o"s and "u"s and "omfg".

so 10

1. COME - should've been came
2. YOUR - you're
3. YOR - your
4. COUD - could
5. PROLLY - probably
6. BCAUSE - because
7. BTW - by the way
8. GIRLS - girl's
9. YD - yesterday?
10. caleb - Kaleb
11. anywher - anywhere
12. twilight - Twilight
13. proll - probably
14. y - why
15. cause - call
16. calebs - Kaleb's
17. i - I
18. caleb - Kaleb
19. TO - so
20. PROLLY - probably
21. WIT - with
22. SOO - so
23. SWARE - swear
24. O - Oh
25. U - you
26. GF - girlfriend
27. U - you
28. FREAKIN - freaking

So my official count is 28 and that includes chat speak because since this is an email, he shouldn't be writing in chat speak form. If he wants people to take him seriously, he should take the time to spell out the words. Also, some of his sentences didn't really make any sense. Why bother using all the profanities? Why not intellectually articulate why people, or in his case, guys shouldn't read Twilight. This guy needs a life. Pronto!

Haha! This was a really good laugh. I can't believe he actually came back!

Now, it's really hard to judge what you mean by spelling mistakes. First time I counted, I got 12, then the second time, I got 15. I think it depends on what you could. I decided to leave out grammar as it's not technically spelling, and also abreviations as they are commonly used, and therefore allowable.

Poor guy, getting all these hate comments. I don't know why he bothers writting the emails in the first place! :P

wow... i got 18, but that's counting punctuation errors such as apostrophes, as well as abbreviations such as AIM speak.

this guy is so funny i love making fun of people like him. he should know better than to go around a bunch of people obsessed with literature, when he can't even spell your name right. tee hee

I counted 25. I didn't count the confused quotation marks around 'MILLIONS OF FANS".

I count 16, if you include abbreviations like "o", "u", and "prolly"; 12 if you don't.

Also, not that you need validation, but I think it's very cool that you're continuing to do this. :) I'm enjoying reading your blog, and I like that you're reading Twilight not only from a guy's perspective, but also with a writer's eye.

I goy 26
this guy is an idiot

& his girlfriend probably never called him back due to his stupidness made him unable to know how to pick up the phone

my interpretation:(use of mistakes is purpose-ful)
"call me bac i luw u"
"dude, last time I called you you needed to e-mail so you could learn how to press 'talk' on the phone"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH TOO MANI BIG WURDZ...AHHHHHHHHHHH"(goes into coma on account of his brain cant recieve more than 3 words at a time w/o overlading) =)
yay! hes in a coma!

whoops i wrote a typo^..I meant to say I GOT 26 words, not goy lol

Wow. I find it difficult to believe that this guy is in ernest. If he is and this is his usual behavior and speech pattern it is astounding that he made it to age 10 (and I'm not entirely sure he has) without someone simply losing control and becoming uncharacteristically violent towards him, thus resulting in his death. Then again, I highly doubt it would be worth the life imprisonment, the guy simply is not worth it.

Kaleb, I commend you on your ingenuity and creativity, which brings humor and a higher level of intelligence to a distasteful issue.

18?
Not exactly sure though.
As for the guy:
"Once a hehaw, always a hewhaw."
That's what I always say :]

lmao..thats hilarious..I had come up with about 12, I didnt know grammer was included, but after reading all the comments, they had some big numbers..so now, IM SO CONFUSED!

If it wasn't already summer, I'd sic my English teacher on him. My guess is fifteen, not including shorthand like GF or YD.

Now that was just freaking hilarious. XD
At least this loser made me laugh by writing this stupid email.

Oh and by the way, I got to 9 spelling errors, excluding the shortforms.

COME ~ came
EMAIL ~ e-mail
YOR ~ your
COUD ~ could
PROLLY ~ probably
BCAUSE ~ because
BTW ~ by the way
GIRLS ~ girl's
YD ~ yesterday
OMFG ~ oh my (hehaw) god
'MILLIONS OF FANS" ~ either use ' or "
you ~ your
caleb ~ Kaleb
anywher ~ anywhere
proll y ~ probably
calebs ~ Kaleb's
i ~ I
caleb ~ Kaleb
CAUSE ~ because
PROLLY ~ probably
WIT ~ with
SOO ~ so
SWAR ~ swear
O ~ oh
U ~ you
NOW ~ know
GF ~ girlfriend
ANYBODY WHO READ ~ anybody who reads
U TOO ~ you, too
FREAKIN ~ freaking

I'm better than him, even though I'm from Germany!

I don't believe his ex-girlfriend would want him back, because he is just so stupid. He needs a life so he wouldn't be 'wasting time' trying to convince you that 'Twilight' is (hehaw). I bet he only 'reads' Playboy or something like that.
He's the freak, not you. And he can't even spell your name right. Why is he reading your site? This is a site for people who are interested in 'Twilight.

Heehee, I counted 12 actual spelling mistakes... that's too hysterical! xD Poor fellow, he does know that he's doing nothing but make us burst out laughing, right? ^w^

Ok, so I basically just went to town on this, and counted every mistake I found. So, including all of the typos and netspeak, here’s what I found:

Coud - could
Prolly (x2)- probably
Bcause - because
BTW – by the way
Girls – girl’s
YD - yesterday
OMFG – oh my [bleep] God
You - your
Caleb (x2) - Kaleb
Anywher - anywhere
Proll y - probably
Calebs – Kaleb’s
Cause - because
Wit - with
Soo - So
Sware - swear
O - oh
U (x2) - you
Now - know
GF - girlfriend
Read - reads
Freakin – freaking

Grand Total: 25

On another note, this guy must be needing some serious approval if he’s willing to tell Kaleb about his (potentially fabricated) girlfriend. My guess is that he’s about 15. I cringe at the thought of anyone much older than that having writing skills this utterly dismal.

What a moron. I counted 16 mistakes, not counting 'text speak' and slang.

I got 23 mistakes including your name and other computer slang words.

Wow, what a (oink)tard
I counted 17, though I just woke up, so I probably missed a bunch. Oh well.
Somebody should make a video for this, like the "txt message breakup" video. You don't get girls if you hate on twilight =P

HAHAHAHAHA.
He's hilarious.

Well....I counted 21 and that includes things like 'cause' and the misspelling of KALEB's name. Really. He writes the blog for goodness' sake!

You make my day Kaleb. I was laughing the entire time I read this, and then went back and read it again so I could laugh again. To be so negatively obsessive, there must be something wrong with GJ. I wonder if he is so obsessive about this because he is unsure of his masculinity?

Oh, I counted 11 strictly misspellings, nine more accepted text-slang and abbreviations (is yd acceptable for yesterday?), two apostrophe absences, and multiple capitalization errors, run-on sentences and absences of commas.

your-should be you're
yor-should be your
coud-could
prolly-probablyx3
bcause-because
btw-by the way
girls- should be girl's
yd- yesterday
omfg- oh my f****** god
caleb-kaleb (which i found funny, since your name is on the site)x3
anywher-anywhere
cause-because
wit-with
soo-so
sware-swear
o-oh
u-youx2
gf-girlfriend
read-reads
freakin-freaking

webslang- 7
misspellings-18

total-25

it is my full belief that if you want to insult someone, you have to do it intelligently. apparently, most people don't seem to agree with that concept these days...

I got 12, with just the spelling errors. I thought about counting the grammar issues and chatspeak, too, but decided I didn't have that kind of time.

*sigh*

What kind of moron does that?

found another one!

now-know

so....

webslang-7
misspellings-19

total, 26

Wow that guy can not spell at all. It's horrible. I got 23, but I was never good at things like this.

I got 23 spelling mistakes, bad grammer and slang words.
I can't believe this guy came back to the site to see if Kaleb had listened to his e-mail, why would anyone listen to an idiot like that?

21 mistakes. Of course, I usually get picky about punctuation. (Although I omitted the shorthand.)
Honestly, how do you stand for this? It's enough of a reward to see how many people support you, I suppose.
Good luck with Twilight!

I counted fourteen, not counting words that weren't completely spelled out.

(PS - I love this site, it's nice to know that there are some guys out there reading Twilight!)

If I'm correct, there are 14 spelling mistakes.

By the way, I LOVE all your posts, you crack me up everyday Kaleb! keep up the good work :D

wow, sounds like this guy is jealous that you have this amount of women fans looking at your site. geez, I wonder what his problem is? Well, at least he knows who Edward Cullen is and the book Twilight...ha ha. I'm glad you had the decency to cover up his vulgar comments...you are an Edward in my book Kaleb!

Including all chat speak and the fact he spelled your name several times with a C instead of a K, I counted 17 mistakes.

I think he's just jealous, because he's probably really ugly, and just about any girl who reads the book thinks that a fictional character is better than he is. Edward is a gentleman, and he can kick ass, all while being incredibly handsome and funny at the same time. He's also about 10x smarter than our rude little piggy. In fact I think every male character in the whole Twilight series is probably 10x smarter than mr.piggy and judging by his ugly attitude, more handsome as well.

Just counting spelling mistakes (not grammar and not intentional abbreviations), I say 18.

Including chatspeak and every other retarded mistake, I counted 24 mistakes...am I right?

I counted 31, including all punctuation mistakes, grammatical errors, and even your name.

Last e-mail he sent, I was ready to fry me some bacon. This time I just want to kick this ass.

There is no grounds to sue over putting an e-mail on a blog, especially when the name is all but removed, and there is no way to trace the person.

And, GJ, my friend, Kaleb COULD, in fact, get a score more ladies than you. It's a fact that women are repelled by stupidity and arrogance, two thing of which you reek.

(Still addressed to GJ) Attacking Kaleb in the first place was entirely out of line and to threaten him after is just pathetic.

Would you like me to dumb that down for you? You are an immature dumb-ass. Get over it.

Kaleb, you are awesome. You DO have a fan-base of thousands, if not more, girls (and guys who also applaud your bravery) and GJ is obviously just insecure about himself. If he can't compare to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER (yes, GJ, we know Edward Cullen isn't real. That's why it's called FICTION!) then he is just a sad, sad little boy.

My rant is over. Hope you enjoyed it.

Kristin

i'm pretty sure you can't count the grammar mistakes, they are innumerable. somebody needs to teach him the proper structure of a sentence. i think he just needs a hug or a good swift kick in the...

haha wow, what a freak. he really has issues, that's all i can say. but his little ran did serve one purpose - it brightened one of the crappiest days of my life. so thanks, dude, you just got a laugh out of me!

oh, and i counted like 14 mistakes i think? ha i lost count..

Oh and being friends with extreme feminists drives me to say: How dare you insult a woman's creative ability in such a way. I'm referring to "No wonder a lady wrote it." What is that supposed to mean? That women can't write as well as men? Where to you get off saying something like that when you're spelling and grammatical errors were so numerous, it was hard to understand your e-mail? Are you superior to Stephenie Meyer? I think not. Are you superior to any female authors? Hell no. Are you superior to most women in general? The consensus points due south (that means "no" if you couldn't understand).

So, therefore you have absolutely NO right to attack the work of a woman who makes more money than you will EVER pay in a strip club.

I have to say my rant is officially over.

Kristin

P.S. Just for spelling mistakes, I counted 22.

17 typos, 3 acronyms, 2 misspellings of your name, and 1 grammar mistake. Total of 23. Wonder if this is more or less than the last one... Either way this was also highly amusing!

Okay, So I checked it in a little different way. Heres the key and once you see it, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out =)

KEY
(S)=Spelling error
(A)=Acronym
(!)=Punctuation mistake
(T?)=Possible typo (I think the "TO" in there should be "SO")
(C)=Capitalization errors
And, the whole thing is in caps... Which really it is hard not to laugh at this because it doesn't look that threatening or serious to people who actually know how to spell....

OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU'VE LEARNED ANYTHING OR LISTENED BUT (HEEHAW) YOUR(S) (HEEHAW) IS STILL HERE! AND YOU PUT MY (HEEHAW)ING EMAIL ON YOR(S) SITE!!! YOU KNOW I COUD(S) PROLLY(S) SUE YOU FOR THAT SINCE YOU DID NOT ASK TO PUT IT UP, IDIOT (HAW)ING (NEIGH).

YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE(S) NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW(A) I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS(!) DESK YD(A) AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT, AND THERE WAS SOME (NEIGH) ABOUT EDWARD AND LIKE HIS SUPER HOT FACE AND OTHER CRAP. I WENT OMFG(A) AND WANTED TO RIP THE BOOK UP. IT IS JUST SO STUPID AND NO WONDER A LADY WROTE IT SINCE ANY GUY WHO ACTS LIKE EDWARD IS EITHER STUPID OR A (HEEHAW)ING MORON WITH NO (HEEHAW)S. YOU GO TELL ALL YOUR '(!)MILLIONS OF FANS" (yeah right to (name removed) like you caleb(S) has anywher(S) near, most of twilight(C) guy fans are proll y(S) guys cause calebs(S) a (HEEHAW) and i(C) get more girls than this (HEEHAW) caleb(S) guy) TO(T?) JUST GO ON DREAMING CAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EDWARD (HEEHAW)ING CULLEN! AND THAT (name removed) GIRL WOULD PROLLY(S) BEG ME TO (HEEHAW) WIT(S) HER SO SHUT UP.

SOO(S) IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING SWARE(S) I WILL SUE YOU!!! O(S) AND SO U(S) NOW(S) MY GF(A) CALLED WANTING ME BACK BUT I SAID (HAW) BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ(S) TWILIGHT IS A FREAK. THAT MEANS U(S) TOO KALEB (HEEHAW)ING TWILIGHTGUY(S) FREAKIN(S) PUNK(HAW) (HEEHAW)!

So If I counted up all the spelling errors (S) correctly, it would be 21 (I could have mis-counted though).

I don't really think acronyms could be considered spelling errors, and you said to count the spelling errors, so I'm not including the punctuation or the capitalization errors. We gotta focus on spelling I suppose =)

Oh, by the way, I think YD means yesterday.

But yeah, to round it all up, this guy is pretty stupid. I seriously doubt that his girlfriend (or "GF") called him back. Thats pretty stupid to break up with some one just because they like a book.

So, a message to GJ: Good luck having a happy successful life.

Kaleb, you're awesome. And though this will sound like I'm writing in a year book, don't ever change! ^^

I tried to count the mistakes, but there were just too many. Plus the number of grammatical mistakes. Yeah, the number would be too high to keep track of. But you are better than that Kaleb! You rock all of my freaking socks as well as all of my freinds socks! However, that number would be no where near as high as the mistakes GJ made, or the number of socks Michael WElsh probably now owns. It would be pretty funny to see if he actually tries to sue you, though.
~Laura

I got a total of 15 spelling mistakes.....someone's a genius!!

Spelling mistakes? I counted just sole spelling mistakes which included chat speak or improper word emphasis which totaled 18.
Grammar errors? I saw many which included tense misuse and punctuation deficits.
Mental issues? I don't think it's really possible to count that, but a therapist could help.

I counted 17, but honestly, it's so messed up, it's hard to tell. I neglected a few netspeak terms and your name, though. Wah.

I freaking love this. Keep doing what you're doing, Kaleb, and thank you so much for putting this up. XD

1) "Coud" > "Could"
2) "Prolly" > "Probably"
3) [Grammar...Not sure if this counts, but I figured I'd note his mistake anyway] "Since" > "Because"
4) "Bcause" > "Because"
5) "Girls" > "Girl's"
6) "YD" > "Yesterday" (I assume?)
7) [Grammar...again] "Since" > "Because"
8) "Anywher" > "Anywhere"
9) "Proll y" > "Probably"
10) "Calebs" > "Caleb's"
11) "Prolly" > "Probably" (how many times does he need to misspell this word?)
12) "Wit" > "With"
13) "Soo" > "So"
14) "Sware" > "Swear"
15) "O" > "Oh,"
16) "U" > "You"
17) "GF" > "Girlfriend"
18) "U" > "You"
19) "Freakin" > "Freaking" or proper slang would be "Freakin'"

Doesn't this idiot have spell check on his email?

Wow. Talk about butchering the english language. Ignoring netspeak terms I counted 19 spelling errors. However, the whole e-mail is unsound in many other ways like grammatically, and mentally. Although, incrediably entertaining. ^^

I counted 28 spelling misakes.


What a dillweed.

Goodness sakes! I didn't know that it was possible to sound like such an idiot via e-mail twice in a row....He seriously needs an attitude adjustment. (and a mental health check)
I counted 19 spelling errors, though if it were gramatical errors there would be a few more.

Since you said 'spelling errors', thats all I'm going to count. So all the grammar is going overlooked

Yor = your
coud = could
prolly = probably
bcause = because
yd = ? yesterday?
Caleb = Kaleb
anywher = anywhere
proll y = probably
Caleb, again = Kaleb
prolly = probably
wit = with?
sware = swear
freakin = freaking

So, about 13 or so, unless you count these and the other miscellaneous errors..

U = you (x2)
O = Oh
OMFG

But, towards the end, he spelled Kaleb correctly, hmm.

Wow, what an idiot. You know, this guy just proves that--especially in this situation--it's the SMART guys who decide to pick up Twilight.

At least he's good for a laugh. And maybe a t-shirt.

Paragraph #1
“I COME BACK”—I came back…
“COUD”—Could
“PROLLY”—Probably…

Total so far: 3

Paragraph #2
“BCAUSE”—Because…
“BTW”—By the way…
“GIRLS”—Girl’s… It changes the whole meaning of the word!
“YD”—Yesterday…
“OMFG”—Oh my (HEEHAW)ing gosh…
“caleb”—Kaleb…
“anywher”—Anywhere…
“proll y”—Probably…
“calebs”—Kaleb’s…
“i”—I (yes, I consider this misspelled)…
“caleb”—KALEB! *sigh*…
“cause”—Because or ‘cause…
“CAUSE”—Because or ‘cause…
“PROLLY”—Probably…
“WIT”—With…

Total so far: 18

Paragraph #3 (In the which he figures out how to spell your name...)
“SOO”—So…
“SWARE”—Swear…
“O”—Oh…
“U”—You…
“NOW”—Know…
“GF”—Girlfriend…
“READ”—Reads
“U”—You…
“FREAKIN”—Freaking…

Total: 27 (28 if you include Twilight Guy in one word as a misspelling! Even more if you include terrible grammar!)

A bit CapsLock happy, isn't he?

P.S.
+++++
"YOR"--Your (paragraph #1)

Welll I think there are 13 spelling errors, but I was never very good with that. Haha this guy's emails make me laugh, he is such a loser, what girl would want to (HEEHAW) with him

What a jerk, well at least we get a good laugh out this caveman. you keep on writing we love your site.

There's about 14 basic spelling mistakes and 17 mistakes total. Maybe in exchange for putting his message on here we could give him a copy of a online dictionary. ^_-

It's complete gibberish. I'm glad you decided to post it, though :)

Now it really... ticks me off to see ignorant people who haven't read the book, bash it. It's not just a book. It's.. a life story. It teaches you these things you never knew about. This just goes to show that the gene pool is...not improving. Yet you, responding so intelligently, is solid proof that there are some guys using their noggins. =) Keep on posting, because I love to look at your stuff.

I got 9.

Kaleb you are absolutely hilarious! I love how you turn this idiotic situation into a joke :)

You need a wall of shame, like mugglenet, if you keep getting these.

Wow. I'm surprised you actaully were able to decipher his heehaw-y rant. I honestly didn't even try to interpret what he was saying, I did my best and I found 28. Anywho, it seems like somebody has jealousy problems with a fictional character...and that's just sad. Don't let these (teehee) heehaws get to your head, you are awesome, and HILARIOUS!!!! Keep up the good work, everytime you update you totally make my day!

I hate dumb people haha. He deserves being posted and made fun of for being so ignorant. And if he really thinks that then why doesn't he go ahead and stop coming to the site. Because that would make sense.

Anyway I'm pretty sure I counted 13 mistakes counting a few grammar mistakes. I think I missed some though.

How much do you want to bet that his parents beat him and locked him in dark rooms as a child? Honestly, I bet he never had a girlfriend to begin with.

I counted 20 spelling errors, including weird abbreviations and slang (prolly, gf, yd, etc.). I counted three other errors (punctuation and capitalization). Good luck deciding which of us actually has the right answer you're looking for. :-D

The guy's a total jerk, but very entertaining to read. Thanks for sharing Kaleb, that gave me a good laugh.

What an idiot. Some people need to get lives. If he's so against Twilight and those who read it then why is he wasting his time sending you those messages, Kaleb? I wouldn't be surprised if he secretly reads Twilight and just doesn't want the rest of the world to know. lol. He needs professional help (not because of his Twilight addiction because then we'd all be in trouble, but because of his need for attention and his inability to at least attempt to spell correctly when he's attempting to insult someone).

Here are the mistakes I found, though I could be wrong on some of them because I'm tired as all get out right now (lol):

1. Okay (even though I tend to spell it the same way it is actually not spelled that way) = OK.

2. YOR = Your

3. COUD = Could

4. PROLLY = Probably

5. BCAUSE = Because

6. YD = I'm guessing this is suppose to be Yesterday though I've never seen anyone abbreviate it like that before.

7. Caleb = I'm fairly certain your name is spelled with a K.

8. anywher = Anywhere

9. proll = Probably

10. y = Why

11. Calebs = Again...not a K in sight.

12. i = Anyone with any sense of grammar should know that an I alone should be upper case. Sure people don't always follow the rules of grammar on the net, but you should if you're in the process of ridiculing someone by writing a very nasty, little letter to them.

13. Caleb = Yet again. Do I need to explain?

14. PROLLY = Probably

15. WIT = With

16. SOO = So

17. SWARE = Swear

18. O = Oh

19. U = You

20. NOW = Know

21. GF = Girlfriend. This is not a technical misspelling considering it's internet lingo, but just thought I'd point it out anyways.

22. READ = Should be Reads in the sentence, "BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ TWILIGHT IS A FREAK."

23. U = You

24. FREAKIN = Freaking

This was fun correcting his mistakes. Perhaps someone should email him with all the corrections. :D I bet that'll make him feel even more like a jackass.

Guys like GJ make girls want a guy like Edward even more. Unfortunately for us, most guys need to actually learn to read something longer than a sports article before they can read an actual book.
Kaleb, are you sure you can't pretend to send him an anit-twilight tee shirt and "accidentally" post the address?

Wow, someone has a bad temper! I think his spelling is just sad, I counted 27 mistakes though. Am I right . . or even close?? I'm usually bad at spelling anyways, so if I'm way off you'll know why!

I needed to read this thing like three times before I could even understand what he was trying to say. I mean what kind of idiot bashes the awesomest twilightguy/book/author/fictional character ever? Due to my lack of spelling skills i'm not even going to try to count his errors, but i'd just like to point out that my eight year old sister can spell better than him and she's in second grade. I feel sorry for all the unforntunate girls who've had the displeasure of meeting GJ and his twilight hating, edward bashing, rudeness twoards kaleb, bad spelling self!

keep bloging kaleb we love you!! *jordin*

1. coud
2. prolly
3. bcause
4. btw
5. yd (?)
6. omfg
7. '" (unnecessary)
8. celeb
9. anywher
10. proll y
11. calebs
12. caleb
13. cause
14. prolly
15. wit
16. soo
17. sware
18. o
19. u
20. now
21. gf
22. u
23. freakin

And don't even get me started with punctuation.

Kaleb... this guy is a douche. I love how you continually mock him.

Keep up the good work! :)

Yeah, I counted 15 mistakes. Wow, that was so painful, my eyes began to beg in protest as I read. Someone should ask this guy why he has checks out a Twilight related site, seeing as he hates it so much.

I counted like 17 but I'm prolly (hahah probably) wrong

Heh. That dude needs to get a life.

It's hard to believe that he had a girlfriend in the first place.

As for the spelling mistakes, I'm not going to even bother counting them. ;) There are far too many. And there are more than just spelling mistakes, too.

Wow, this guy really needs to relax. I mean if he is getting this worked up over a book (a great book mind you, I'm afraid to know what other everday things upsets him like this,lol.

Anyway, on to more important thing, I counted roughly 20 mistakes in this.

Geez, he should be more angry at his spelling then at a book,lol.

I found 15 errors not including grammatical errors, extra apotheoses (I hope I spelled that right), and some slang that my literature teacher uses...
that guy needs a life...seriously. Maybe he'd like The Host better. I'm sure he'd just love Kyle...

I counted 27 spelling mistakes (3 of those being your name).

I also tried to count all the punctuation and capitalization errors, but I quickly lost count (seeing as the whole thing was in "caps lock".)

It seems our GJ is not the brightest crayon in the box.

Don't let him get to you. If it makes you feel any better, he "prolly" can't heeehawing understand any of the words you say. Idiots don't have very high vocabularies, you see.

I love you, and don't stop reading!

bahaha. thats funny. he's just jealous. haha.

and i am guessing 19 misspellings. but i really don't know. haha.

Obviously this guy has the ego problems. I can see him as one of those movie portrayed football jocks that is too worried about there image to actually think for a moment.

So go Kaleb for not being an egotistical "GJ"

Wow is this guy a jerk. I just don't understand the people that go out of their way to tear down books or movies or whatever. If you hate it so much, stop wasting your time going on fansites and harassing the fans! Jeez.

Anyway here's how I broke up the spelling mistakes:

I counted 12 general mistakes not including any of the slang or causal shortenings of words.
coud-could
bcause-because
anywher-anywhere
proll y-probably (it's sad he couldn't even spell the abbreviated slang right)
caleb(x3 including the calebs)
wit-with
soo-so
sware-swear
now-know
freakin-freaking

Then 11 slang and shortened words. This includes using:
prolly (x2)
cause (x2)
yd (which to my best guess is 'yesterday')
btw
omfg
o
u (x2)
gf

And finally I'm going to throw in 5 spelling errors due to bad grammer. So 2 for forgotten apostrophes (girl's and Caleb's), no hypen in email, incorrect tense (read=reads), and writing TwilightGuy as one word.

So that's a grand total of 28 including all the errors.

Some guys will never learn...As my sister would say he's a few fries short of a happy meal :D

I counted 28 spelling mistakes.

I laughed so hard when I read this. What a complete and total moron. It must be tiresome being subjected to this kind of idiocy.

Including "text talk," capitalization errors, problems with punctuation, spelling your name wrong, using different quotations (' and ") I found 25.

I found another one: so 26.

That was quite entertaining! He turned from a pig to a donkey *laughs*.

Well just strictly counting spelling mistakes I got 20. Haha it was worth a try!

i think i seriously have a crush on the twilight guy :D

Oh and maybe...*He shud uze speel chick nest thyme* haha!

21, I believe. But if you count GRAMMAR mistakes, it is many, many, many more. I wonder if he realizes just how much girls love Twilight. If he acted like he actually was the least bit interested in the series, the guy would most likely get his first girlfriend. :D

I count 23 spelling mistakes, not counting any words twice because there were two errors in it.

I think it should be rounded up to 24, because he said he could "get" more girls than you. Girls are not to be "gotten".

And why don't we add on another mistake, because he mispelled your name two different ways - "caleb," and "idiot."

Adding those on, I think there should be 25 mistakes.

You're an awesome guy, Kaleb. Don't ever let this idiot get to you. I'm glad that you posted this horrible e-mail, because look at how many people support you: I am number 117. That should show our GJ that he's in the minority.

Correction - I'm number 126. People even commented in the time I took to type my comment!

I can`t stop laughing. This guy is a looser.

He doesn`t even know how to write. You don`t listen to him.

I`m really proud of you and this web site. The fact that you are not afraid to tell the world you are reading Twilight is amazing??

Is he going to sue you?? What a moron.

I found 20. I counted abbreviations such as OMFG and GF because they are not proper English.
1. Prolly
2. Bcause
3. BTW
4. YD
5. OMFG
6. Caleb
7. anywher
8. proll y
9. cause (needs a ' before it)
10. caleb
11. prolly (again)
12. wit
13. soo
14. sware
15. o
16. u
17. GF
18. Real (need an s)
19. V
20. freakin (needs ' after it)

I counted 23.
What a Idiot. He seems like a jerk and I don't know why any girl would like someone like that. I HIGHLY doubt that his girlfriend called him. I hate guys like him.

I counted 17 including the mispellings of your name. I didn't factor out chatspeak.

What an idiot, I really doubt that he has a girlfriend either. No girl would be that stupid, especially if she's read Twilight =)

Is this guy being serious or what? 'Cuse if he is he's an idiot*. Really. I don't know how he has a girlfriend.

Yeah, anyway, forget him. He's a closed-minded teenage boy with a hormonal imbalance.

He is starting to get on my nerves though...GO KALEB!!!

*Just for info: Idiot- a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.

I found 27 mistakes.

Wow, this guy is an idiot!

I found 23. That guy is really unbelievable.

Hey Kaleb!

I counted 18 spelling mistakes...

1. Prolly
2. Bcause
3. Girls
4. YD
5. Caleb
6. proll y
7. cause
8. calebs
9. caleb
10. wit
11. soo
12. sware
13. o
14. U
15. Now
16. Read
17. U
18. Freakin

well, i think i may have lost some brain cells reading your post....but counting the errors did make me feel better. :D

~jess

omg!!!!!!!!!!! kaleb, why the hell would u want give that peice of **** a t-shirt? how can you be soooo calm?u dont care wat he says, every 1 admires u, so keep reading!! u have my best wishes! good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1) yor
2) coud
3) prolly
4) bcause
5) btw
6) girls (instead of girl's)
7) yd
8) omfg
9) caleb
10) anywher
11) proll y
12) calebs
13) i
14) caleb
15) prolly
16) wit
17) soo
18) sware
19) o
20) u
21) now (instead of know)
22) gf
23) u
24) freakin

Okay, so I had an assignment to critique an incorrect piece of writing on the internet so thank you Kaleb for posting this, my english homework is done! That's everything I counted and that's including the netspeak so even if I don't win its okay lol and I'm sure his ex wouldn't have called him, i really hope some girl he wants rejects him and he learns he's not all that great! I hate guys with big egos! Keep posting Kaleb I love your website! :)

i found 18 mispelled words in this pitiful letter. I just think it's so funny that this guy is letting something like this get to him. can you say anger management? lmao, some guys WILL NEVER learn,

Wow..What a jerk. I bet he's a closet Twilight fan and terribly ashamed of it because some other jerk called him out on it. I personally think more guys need to read Twilight. I finally convinced one of my guy friends to read it and he loves it.

Anyways, I found nine spelling errors, six 'netspeak' abbreviations that shouldn't have been used, some of which should probably count as spelling errors, one sexist remark that makes me want to castrate this *heehaw*, and you should probably count the whole message as a huge grammatical error because it was in all caps.

Did I get it right?

xo
Helen

Wow. It's people like him who make me lose faith in the human race. Oh, and you've got to love how he says:
YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS DESK YD AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT
He calls guys names for picking it up- not reading it, just picking it up- and yet he does the same thing.
Hypocrisy much? *head desk*
Any guy that reads Twilight rocks and people like this jerk are just ignorant fools who really need to find better ways to spend their time.

I got 30 with chat speak and 26 without.


Rawr! I'm probably wrong but it's worth a shot right? Anyways, he just admitted he opened Twilight and read some. Why would he have opened it if he wasn't curious? Uh huh. My point exactly. He's totally a closet Twilighter.

So he thinks that people who read twilight are freaks and I'm guessing that his girlfriend read it. I'm pretty sure that almost every girl has read twilight which means that he's never going to get a girlfriend since he thinks we're all freaks.

spelling mistakes:
1. yor
2. coud
3. prolly
4. bcause
5. btw
7. yd
8. omfg
10. anywher
11. proll y (again)
12. to (i think it should be 'so'?)
13. cause
14. prolly (again)
15. wit
16. soo
17. sware
18. o
19. u
20. now (should it be 'know'?)
21. gf
22. u (again)
23. freakin

grammar mistakes:
1. girls (missing an apostrophe)
2. 'millions of fans" (single quotation in the beginning and double at the end)

not to mention he spelled your name wrong 3 times.

and he said that Edward is stupid!!

If this guy refuses to date any girl who reads Twilight then he's gonna have a very hard time finding a date. Practically every girl I know is in love with the book.

...his loss

Wow... Just wow... Can I rewrite this entire paragraph??? It has my analytical notes included...

"Okay idiot, so I came (past tense!) back to your site to see if you’ve learned anything or listened, (comma!) but (heehaw) your (heehaw) is still here! And you put my (heehaw)ing e-mail (hyphen) on your site!!! You know I could (spelling!) probably (slang-ish?) sue you for that since you did not ask to put it up, idiot (haw)ing (neigh).
You must be a (heehaw) or something, (comma!) because no guy would pick up this (snort)ing (heehaw). (Run on sentence, needs a period, not a comma!) By the way (Please don’t use acronyms when typing an e-mail, this is not a chat message.) I saw it on some girl’s (possessive) desk yesterday (again with the acronyms!) and so I picked it up and just opened it, and there was some (neigh) about Edward and, like, (commas around the word “like” makes it more grammatically correct) his super hot face and other crap. I went Oh my (bleep)ing (Lord’s name in vain) (AGAIN with the acronyms! And so much swearing connotation…) and wanted to rip the book up. It is just so stupid and no wonder a lady wrote it since any guy who acts like Edward is either stupid or a (heehaw)ing moron with no (heehaw)s. You go tell all your “(quotations, not apostrophe) millions of fans” (Yeah (capitalize, please, this is a complete sentence, or would be if it was grammatically correct.) right to (name removed), (comma!) like (I’m not sure what he’s saying here… “your Kaleb”? “You, Kaleb”? Either way… it’s wrong, I’m counting it as bad spelling.) your Kaleb (name misspelled) has anywhere (misspelled) near. (That’s the end of a sentence. It needs a period.) Most (capitalize) (no “of”) twilight guy fans are probably (slang-ish? AND misspelled at that) guys ‘cause (needs an apostrophe when you shorten the word) Kaleb’s (again, misspelled name AND no apostrophe for the contraction of “Kaleb is”) a (heehaw) and I (capitalization of a proper noun, though I don’t know if we should call him “proper” per se…) get more girls than this (heehaw) Kaleb (misspelled name) guy.) So (To? What?) just go on dreaming ‘cause (again, shortening the word needs an apostrophe) there is no such thing as Edward (heehaw)ing Cullen! And that (name removed) girl would probably (again, slang-ish?) beg me to (heehaw) with (misspelling) her, (comma) so shut up.
So (misspelling) if you put this up on your site, (comma) I (heehaw)ing swear (misspelling) I will sue you!!! Oh (acronym) and so you (acronym) know (misspelling), (comma) my girlfriend (acronyms!) called, (comma) wanting me back, (either period or comma) but I said (haw) because now I know anybody who reads (misspelling) Twilight is a freak. That means you (acronym!) too, (comma) Kaleb (heehaw)ing Twilight Guy (two words AND capitalized) freaking punk(haw) (heehaw)!"


Like I already said... Wow...
Eventually I came up with a total of:
3 misspellings of Kaleb's name
24 grammatical errors
3 slang terms that should not be used
11 spelling errors AND
7 acronyms that should not be used in an e-mail.

This gives us a grand total of 48 errors from our dear friend, Mr. GJ, who should not be wasting his pathetic time writing horrible e-mails about a topic that people love. We don't go find something he's a fan of and mock it, now do we?
Thanks Kaleb! We love you!

oops sorry in my post above i forgot to change the numbers. so thats actually 21 spelling mistakes.

i am really thimpressed with this guys will-power. he is very bothered by this novel and e impact it has. it's okay buddy. you can cry if you want to. keep on trouping and developing an even unhealthier obsession than us twilighters. High Five GJ!!!! (that was complete sarcasm by the way ;D )

i counted about 16 mistakes. i didnt focus on the punctuation or all of the 'U' instead of 'you' or 'O' instead of 'oh' or 'WTF.'

if he keeps sending letters PLEASE post them. they make me laugh!

~S~
~S~

Hmmm. Well, it would be easier to re-write his whole paragraph. I might not get every detail correct because I'm a sophomore in high school, so I still have much to learn. But hey, I'll try.

So, here goes!




Hello again, Kaleb.

I came back to your site to see if you’d learned anything or listened, but you did not. The site was still here, and you had posted my e-mail! You know, I could probably sue you for that since you did not ask to put it up.

You must be an idiot or something, because no guy would pick up this book. By the way, I saw the book on some girl’s desk yesterday. I picked it up and opened it to a random page, and written there was a description of Edward and his extremely attractive features, along with other claims I did not believe. I thought to myself, “Oh my freaking goodness!” and wanted to rip the book up. It is just so stupid. No wonder a lady wrote it, since any guy who acts like Edward is either stupid or a moron with no masculinity [how does that support that a lady wrote it??]. Go tell all of your “millions of fans”---yeah, right. Like you, Kaleb, have anywhere near that amount of fangirls. Most of the Twilight Guy’s fans are probably guys, because you are a [swear], and I’m going to not make sense right here, claiming that I have more fangirls than you, which doesn‘t support my argument at all--- to keep dreaming because Edward Cullen does not exist in real life! [This next line also does not make sense or support his argument at all, so it has been omitted.]

If you post this on your blog, I swear I will sue you! Just so you know, my girlfriend called me and wanted to get back together. I declined because I now know that anyone who reads Twilight is a freak, and that includes you, Kaleb, the Twilight Guy.

GJ




That's a bit better. :D

While I was looking up whether "OK" or "Okay" is correct, I came across this interesting tidbit I thought I'd share on dictionary.com, under an entry for "OK":

"During the 1830s there was a humoristic fashion in Boston newspapers to reduce a phrase to initials and supply an explanation in parentheses. Sometimes the abbreviations were misspelled to add to the humor. OK was used in March 1839 as an abbreviation for all correct, the joke being that neither the O nor the K was correct. Originally spelled with periods, this term outlived most similar abbreviations owing to its use in President Martin Van Buren's 1840 campaign for reelection. Because he was born in Kinderhook, New York, Van Buren was nicknamed Old Kinderhook, and the abbreviation proved eminently suitable for political slogans. That same year, an editorial referring to the receipt of a pin with the slogan O.K. had this comment: "frightful letters ... significant of the birth-place of Martin Van Buren, old Kinderhook, as also the rallying word of the Democracy of the late election, 'all correct' .... Those who wear them should bear in mind that it will require their most strenuous exertions ... to make all things O.K.""


http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/okay




So I hope that now the spelling and grammar mistakes in GJ's letter are "OK." :D Too bad his content never will be. Though one day, I bet his curiousity will get the best of him and he'll crack and read the books. If he doesn't though, well, his loss! He'll have to learn what girls fall for another way.

I suppose i should take a stab at the number of his spelling mistakes.

16 regular mistakes + misspelling your name wrong 3 times + "OKAY" + "EMAIL" [I think it should have a hyphen because it is an abbriviation for "electronic mail"] + "BTW" + "YD" + "OMFG" + "i" + "O" + "U" + "GF" + "READ" + "U" + "TWILIGHTGUY" =

A grand total of 31! Plus countless errors in grammar, punctuation, and of course, content! :D

So have fun sorting through all of these comments and picking a winner! Good luck everyone else!

wow! this guy really doesnt have a life cus aparently all he can talk about is the book that he hates with all of his soul! Makes no sense y he is even spending time on a thing he hates. lol Wait.....he should keep this on cus it just makes the millions of people on this site laugh more and more!!! hahaha

omg i cannot believe somene would write that to you that's so awful. keep reading and dont let that bug you i agree with one of the earlier posts, i'm disgusted to be in the same species as that that meanie! PS: TWILIGHT RULES! EDWARD IS REAL! AND BEST OF ALL A SNEAK PEEK OF BREAKING DOG HAS BEEN REVEALED!

I counted 23 and have listed them below (I excluded GF and OMFG but included YD because I have never heard of it)

1)COME = Came
2)YOR = Your
3)COUD = could
4)PROLLY = probably
5)BCAUSE = because
6)GIRLS = girl’s
7)YD = yesterday?
8)caleb = Kaleb
9)anywher = anywhere
10)proll y = probably
11)calebs = Kaleb’s
12)caleb = Kaleb
13)CAUSE = because
14)PROLLY = probably
15)WIT = with
16)SOO = so
17)SWARE = swear
18)O = oh
19)U = you
20)NOW = know
21)READ = reads
22)U = you
23)FREAKIN =freaking

Hmmm I have to change my count to 29. Forgot the "yor" misspelling. I knew I had 29 the first time I counted but then I couldn't make it work again. Whoops. It's been bugging me feeling like I missed something. haha

i think he is mad because he cant read and you can and it fustraits him to know that girls like a man to be intelligent, literate and a vampire!

Heheh, perhaps this boy has had a bad experience? For example, a girlfriend who said he isn't as good as Edward. Or perhaps, she said, "you should try to be more like Edward". Well I can't be certain. Kaleb, you are just awesome. Ah, yes.

(I, by no means, am siding with that very rude boy)

...He can't even spell your name...
God, at least research your facts before ranting. Girls pick this book up because they want to meet a gentleman, beings that are far and few in this modern world. Evidently, his jaded rules on women and novels will never get him a lasting relationship. Worst of all, he actually bothers to rant at you! You, an actual author and part-time Twilighter. Doesn't he have better things to do? We come here because we want to know your reactions to the things SM has written!
Therefore, Kaleb Nation, I salute you. Let this imbecilic moron never email you again.

(I wonder if he's ever looked at the comments on the blogs?)

I almost feel bad for the poor fellow. ALMOST. He's threatened by Edward. He feels insecure. (Why on earth else would he mention how many "(heehaw)ing girls" he could get?) What a potty mouth. I would like to apologize FOR him. I'm sorry this world is filled with stupid people.
What I would like to know is how he even found this site if he hates Twilight so much? Does he have nothing to do but fill your inbox with misspellings and gramatical errors? Honestly. How exceedingly irksome.

I counted 18 mistakes! I want that twilight tee! I love you twilight guy...you make me laugh and if a guy like Edward cullen came up to me I'd take him instead of a pompus idoit like that one guy!

Well, I counted a total of 26 mistakes, including some of the shorthand chat-speak stuff. Plus, I might have added on one or two, because, of course, I don't like him. And the fact that he actually keeps coming back is proof that his girlfriend did not, in fact call him back, and there isn't anyone else. Otherwise he'd have something better to do. =D

I say 23

Ew. He makes me heave.

Why does he keep leaving you stupid, unprofessional emails? How immature!

By the way, Kaleb, do you want us to count spelling and grammar mistakes (that includes punctuation and chatspeak) or just spelling? Just want to make sure I'm doing this correctly... I want a t-shirt! :D

YOU ROCK, KALEB!

I read his e-mail, and I found twenty-eight errors. Even if he did use spell check, which by the way doesn't check everything correctly, it would still be a major improvment. All caps lock means he is yelling virtually, and there is no reason for a mature person to do so. I guess that means he is not mature! :)

Also, does anyone know the song "Online" by Brad Paisley? "'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood I'm six foot five and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati, I'm a black belt in karate And I love a good glass of wine It turns girls on that I'm mysterious I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
"'Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat With two women at one time.
"I'm so much cooler online."

Virtual high five Orietta Rose for giving us the definition of the term idiot! GJ is deninitly is an idiot.

Let's see how mad GJ will get if we insult him in a Twilight mannor! He would make an extremely ugly vampire, with no powers, that would be taken down by the Volturi because he would expose himself as a vampire within his first five days after transformation. lol

i got 13.

Um...wow. I didn't know so much stupidity could be crammed into one 3-paragraph note. I'm sure he was Valedictorian in high school.

Mistake count: 25 (without the neighs and snorts)

I'm not sure what this guy's deal is, but does he really need to use all caps? The terrible grammar is enough to get across the image of a (heehaw)ing (neigh).

WOW. This guy (and I use that term loosely) needs to shut it. Gosh, talk about ignorance!

Thank you so much Kaleb for posting this, I can't get over how funny it is. I just can't.

I hope he visits again! I'd get a kick out of that. Okay, now I'm glad that this guy is so much of a idiot, I mean really, how else can I laugh this hard?

=)

THANKS WHOEVER YOU ARE! YOUR STUPIDITY IS EXCRUCIATINGLY HILARIOUS!

Oh my, what a hunk. We girls just fall for that type. Nice choice of grammar, approximately one brain cell and some testosteron issues. Yum. Makes me want to use violence and smash some of his... stuff from the euphoria.
And he actually believed you wouldn't post this? Hah.
Thumbs up for you Kaleb.

So I counted only 11 spelling mistakes and I am most likely wrong, even though I am usually really good at spelling. I probably skipped some that I didn't think counted, but anyways... That guy is really stupid and he is only posting that so people will know who he is. But good for you for not letting it get to you, Kaleb, because he just is not worth it.

This guy is such a loser

But truthfully i think he's hilarious! I get a good laugh reading his messages to you.

I think I got 23, but more people did before me so they deserve the T-shirt xD

I would like to see the grade he's getting in English. His hallow threats are pretty sad, too.

So I've got 17 mistakes. This guy needs an English course.

I counted 11 spelling mistakes and 6 abbreviations (O is an alternate spelling of Oh), making that 17 mistakes total. I'm a fan and my friends are reading over my shoulders right now, so please send us a single shirt and we'll share it. :) (We're not greedy like the female fan who's pretending to be an ass. Come on, what male student says "like", even in my native California?)
~M&C&K <3

Kaleb, I salute you for being able to put up with this GJ guy. These sort of hate mails can be extremely hilarious and entertaining, however, they can get to the point of frustrating and annoying. Good to see that you're not letting it get to you and are able to just laugh about it.

Besides, you are, in one simple word, amazing. No "idiot (haw)ing (neigh)" can downsize that. :)

Oh, and I counted about twenty-three mistakes. This includes, grammar, spelling, your name misspelled as "Caleb", slang and chat speak. Along with one count against his use of all caps... I think the "heehaws" got his point across just fine.

I counted 16 mistakes.
Not sure what counts as slang or spelling though.

What a deuche bag....does he not have a life?? He must seriously care about your opinion b/c he keeps writing you. lol he secretly likes Twilight :o) He's just not a man enough to admit it. ha!

I counted 26 mistakes, including btw and such. :o)

another funny post from GJ

i counted 16 spelling errors, but that's not including chat speak, or the many grammer errors in it and since my comment is like, th 200th one i'm sure someone before has already gotten it correct.

I think it's great that you don't let one mean person like this guy get to you and that you can laugh about it. I for one think you're site is great, and clearly 'GJ' needs to learn some tips from Edward Cullen about how to act.

... Wow. My ex-boyfriend likes the Twilight series, but we broke up a while before I forced him to read it. 8D
This guy obviously doesn't understand that he fails at life majorly.

I counted 16 mistakes.

He hates the book, your site, and everything you stand for (apparently), and yet he checks BACK to see what you've done?
Did he honestly thing all the oinking would.. what, scare you into submission?
Whata bunch of crap. He's just a know-nothing ignorant guy. Who can't spell. And really needs a thesaurus. I could barely understand what he was writing, with all those pesky errors.

He does make me laugh.. though, it's more AT than with. I mean, he really should read those Twilight Guys stories. How about the one where the guy actually gets closer to a girl he likes, in part due to Twilight? So, obviously, something's working. And I'm sorry to the person (whoever it was) that he insulted. That's what people like him do, I guess -insult when they get uncomfortable.


Anyway, thanks, Kaleb, for continuing to read this book, despite all (futile) efforts to get you to stop! :]

He's just jealous. =)

I'm sure there's around 30 mistakes.

OK, here's my count:
1. yor = your
2. coud = could
3. prolly = probably
4. bcause = because
5. btw = by the way (LAZY)
6. girls = girl's
7. yd = yesterday
8. omfg = oh my fuzzy gloves
9. anywher = anywhere
10. proll y = probably
11. calebs = Kaleb's
12. i = I
13. wit = with
14. soo = so
15. sware = swear
16. o = oh
17. u = you
18. gf = girlfriend
19. u = you

So, NINETEEN.

And that's so not true about having more guy fans. You've got me and about 20 other girls and guys who have read it! Your site helps me influence boys at my school to read Twilight. There's an unspoken contest between me and this other girl about who can get more. She's winning: 3 to 1.

Might I also mention that if I ever meet a guy with the initials G.J. I will be immediately suspicious and bring up the book Twilight. He should know that he has now angered the Twihards. That about as bad as throwing a rock at a beehive.

Prepare to be stung. =]

Wow.
That is absolutely rude, yet hilarious.
How about instead of correcting the spelling, I rewrite the whole thing over, into something he SHOULD say. Like:
"Oh, well, Kaleb, I think this is neat thing what you're doing, but I don't necessarily like it, so I'll stop visiting this site and make myself look like a moron."
:)

Oh my goodness, that was sooOOooO entertaining!!! I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing and scare my family!! This guy is so stupid and rediculous! I love your counting mistakes idea, that made me laugh too. I won't attempt it, because I am a terrible speller.... lol keep postin'!

Urgh does that count chat speak too?
(I included chat speak, because for me that counts as incorrect spelling)
20 spelling mistakes.
Without chat speak errors:
16 Roughly.

And that is really hilarious, too. You see these almost everywhere and you can't help but crack up at the sight of it. I mean, really, how stupid and meatheaded can you get?

Maybe they crunched TOO many cans on their foreheads. That would explain the lack of brain cells.

I counted 16. What a retard!!! You rock
Kaleb. Snaps for Kaleb ^^

I think he just want attention. I counted 16 spelling mistakes, wow, he is a genius! *sense the sarcasm* I can't help but be entertained by him, and that 'editing'...

Wow....This guy is an idiot. i counted 14 mistakes which includes abbreviations and some punctuation errors.

I feel really bad for GJ though. He has so much hate in him and this is the only way to vent out his anger. I also think that he is really jealous of you and how popular you are.

He really should get a life and grow up. He is acting so immature and a hypocrite. If he hates Twilight so much, why doesn't he just stay away from anything related to it? He is sooo DUMB!

Plus, he just angered millions of fans of this book which is not good.

hes just asking for attention. does this guy have nothing better to do? he was probably the one asking his girl friend to come back to him not the other way around. i know guys who talk like that, like they are hot stuff and that they can get any girl they want and that all other guys are losers. all of them are lonely good for nothing posers who dont get any. he makes it more than obvious. he's just jealous. we should all ignore him. giving him this attention is what he wants. and it only makes a person more of a loser when they force curse words. its much cooler to make up your own words. "holy crow!" haha. yeah. id say we all just ignore this punk. all in favor say I.

That guy spells worse than a 1st grader. I'm ok at spelling, so I'm not going to try. Who doesn't like Twilight! I don't believe the part about the girlfriend. If the guy had ripped up that girls copy of Twilight there would have been a murder in the class room. That guy is an IDIOT! I would be so mad and insulted if I were you. Everyone has a wright(I think thats the right way to spell it) to their own opinion, but you can keep it to your self. Oh, and there was no need for him to swear so much!
stevie was here:)

Correction on the part. I mean I'm not going to try to count the spelling errors.

I think I caught nine mistakes, but I don't know if I should include the fact that he spelled your name wrong a couple of times.

Oh my good gracious, that GJ guy is a nutcase!
I love you, Kaleb! Don't let haters like that fruitcake get you down. He obviously doesn't understand the art of the Twilight Series and how freakishly amazing Stephenie Meyer is. And how amazing you are. =]
Kaleb=awesome.
GJ=poor, unfortunate soul.
<3 Katie

Made me laugh. I found about 24 or 25 spelling mistakes without grammar. With the grammar mistakes, including his lack of knowledge with a comma, it would be even more.
Just tell the guy-- I don't care what his name is-- that you actually have future, while he belongs in a petting zoo. Although, he would probably scare away the children with his nasty nieghs.
Any guy who resorts to swearing for intimidation, just makes me laugh. How could he think that it will scare you?
I feel sorry for his ex-girlfriend, being lied about like that. Fight the power girl! You'll meet your Edward. You wait and see!
~Kim

It amuses me greatly that there were a little less than twenty spelling mistakes. Adding grammar and punctuation, that's over twenty. Then the use of run-on sentences...it adds up to 'idiot'.

Here's my advice: whenever any Twilight fans are feeling sad or stupid, they should come to this site and read GJ's emails. Because of this, they will feel much better about themselves and their intellect levels.

The best part is that nobody could take this seriously: instead of acting as a threat, this guy is acting like an idiot. Does he even realize that when you insult somebody with spelling problems, all they do is laugh? If they read the 188 comments so far, he will realize that.

I feel sorry for his girlfriend.

don't you just love how he still takes the time to check up on the site? haha what a beast

I counted 15 not including "text speak" and including a missing apostrophe. It's a FANTASY series. That's what makes it fun. This guy needs to majorly lighten up!

This guy is something else. Maybe he's just jealous of Edward? Who knows, but he's coming off as the idiot here. Get a clue, whoever you are.

And is 18 errors right?

I counted like 20 or so mistakes, but this guy is an arrogant jerk. I would never date him gosh, what a douche bag.

Including when he misspelled your name, I counted 13.

Geez, how stupid can one person get? Seriously, people who cuss like that just prove to everyone around them how unintelligent they are. If you can't think of something better then 'f' to say all the time, then he seriously needs to be reprogrammed. I feel sorry for anyone who has to be around that jerk.

What a piece of work!!! This guy needs to get a hobby or maybe take a couple extra English courses. PA-THE-TIC!!!

Doesn't he know that every woman wants her man to act just like Edward? GJ has so much to learn, poor little lamb. >;o) We should really be feeling sorry for him.

Be that as it may, I counted 29 mistakes -- including web speak, because it's just ugly.

Keep up the hard work, Kaleb (as if reading Twilight is hard)!!!

wow Kaleb! All I can say is good for you for ignoring this huge Jerk!!! I'm glad you didn't let him get to you and actually made a joke out of this! You are 5 billion times better and cooler than he is so there! haha, k I'm done with my little rant!
And if he stopped making fun of Edward and actually started learning from him, he wouldn't be the sorry end of a joke he is now!

Well, I count 19 spelling mistakes (including your name several times). This, of course, does not include the appalling grammar, acronyms, or the HEEHAWing!
Very sad that this guy is so uncomfortable with himself that he feels the need to lash out at you. However, I suppose that's one of the hazards of blogging about anything.
Anyway, I love to read your thoughts. Keep them coming please!

omg....that is hilarious, i mean the guy spells Kaleb right the first time, other times...not so much........

one of the girls is right...he doesn't need to read twilight....he needs to read a dictionary....

w/o counting the BTW, OMFG or GF I'd say (and it's a shot in the dark because I can't spell) 18.....

I think everyone above has probably filled in the numbers. One of these people has to get it right. So all im going to say is that if this GF guy is such a jerk, i would RATHER take a fictional character (Edward) than someone like him. Im serious. Totally Serious. And you should tell him to come back and wrtie back again when he can actually type and think at the same time. I HATE STUPID UGLY GF GUY!!! AND GUYS LIKE THEM!! im not saying that all people have to love twilight, im just asking for them to keep their opinions to themselves if they are going to say something rude. Thats all... for now.