Some Guys Will Never Learn (II)
May 30th, 2008 by Kaleb Nation
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OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU'VE LEARNED ANYTHING OR LISTENED BUT (HEEHAW) YOUR (HEEHAW) IS STILL HERE! AND YOU PUT MY (HEEHAW)ING EMAIL ON YOR SITE!!! YOU KNOW I COUD PROLLY SUE YOU FOR THAT SINCE YOU DID NOT ASK TO PUT IT UP, IDIOT (HAW)ING (NEIGH). YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS DESK YD AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT, AND THERE WAS SOME (NEIGH) ABOUT EDWARD AND LIKE HIS SUPER HOT FACE AND OTHER CRAP. I WENT OMFG AND WANTED TO RIP THE BOOK UP. IT IS JUST SO STUPID AND NO WONDER A LADY WROTE IT SINCE ANY GUY WHO ACTS LIKE EDWARD IS EITHER STUPID OR A (HEEHAW)ING MORON WITH NO (HEEHAW)S. YOU GO TELL ALL YOUR 'MILLIONS OF FANS" (yeah right to (name removed) like you caleb has anywher near, most of twilight guy fans are proll y guys cause calebs a (HEEHAW) and i get more girls than this (HEEHAW) caleb guy) TO JUST GO ON DREAMING CAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EDWARD (HEEHAW)ING CULLEN! AND THAT (name removed) GIRL WOULD PROLLY BEG ME TO (HEEHAW) WIT HER SO SHUT UP. SOO IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING SWARE I WILL SUE YOU!!! O AND SO U NOW MY GF CALLED WANTING ME BACK BUT I SAID (HAW) BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ TWILIGHT IS A FREAK. THAT MEANS U TOO KALEB (HEEHAW)ING TWILIGHTGUY FREAKIN PUNK(HAW) (HEEHAW)! GJ |
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We last heard from GJ on the first of this month. Just so you know, he can’t sue me, because of the email policy. There goes GJ’s sole chance at fame and fortune.
I also highly doubt the validity of his claim that his girlfriend called him back.
I would offer him a t-shirt, but then I would need his address, and I’m certain he doesn’t want that being passed around. So in place of his t-shirt, count how many spelling mistakes he makes, comment the number you found, and I’ll randomly pick one person with the correct answer to get a free shirt from TwilightTeez.com in his place. How’s that?
ADDED MAY 31 — This contest closes June 3, 2008. You MUST enter through COMMENTS on this post. Thanks for all the email entries, but they will NOT count, and I cannot reply to the one’s I’ve gotten.
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May 30th, 2008 at 1:10 am
Hah, this is interesting.
I would count the spelling mistakes, but I’m a horrible speller. So, I’d end up making a fool of myself.
How do you put up with people like that? I’d get very annoyed if I were you.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:17 am
What. A. Loser.
I hope he feels better, because he sure made ME feel better (laughing really DOES brighten up my day).
I’m glad he pointed out that Edward’s not real… that really took me (and the rest of the world) by surprise. I wouldn’t have figured it out, if it weren’t for him, so I owe him one.
It really brightens my outlook too, knowing that this bloke would probably bash a can of bent peaches on his forehead, if only to prove the world his manliness…
Including chat speak, I counted 15 mistakes. But I’m probably wrong.
Keep up the posting, I doubt I’m the only female who gets a kick out of reading your blog.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:18 am
It’s hard to tell what counts as a spelling mistake and just plain stupidity. Like the fact that he spelled your name wrong, for one. Oh, and the fact that he can’t take the time to type out an entire word (like “O” instead of “Oh”). That being said I’m giving it a shot in the dark, with your name misspelled three times and words not typed out included, as 12. How’d I do?
May 30th, 2008 at 1:32 am
Major douche bag
well excluding all the OMFGS and O’s (about 4/5 - making it 12/13) there are 8 - including the fact that he spelt your name with a C instead of a K three times. I think I’ll go with the unlucky number 13….and 12.
He’s right he shouldn’t read twilight. He needs to read a dictionary.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:33 am
Ugh. I am disgusted to even be the same species as him.
You hear that? That is the sound of a million fans getting ready to go trample that moron into oblivion.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:37 am
Wow, this guy is seriously pathetic. Did this guy even pass grammar school?! And that girl would have torn him to pieces if he’d have torn up her book. I’ve got 14 spelling mistakes and the whole thing is a grammar nightmare. I think my eyes may actually be bleeding. Come on Kaleb, just accidentally give us his address. Pretty please with sugar on top.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:38 am
Kaleb you are awesome, he didn’t even get your name right. What a good laugh.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:38 am
He is probably one of the biggest low life’s ever born. That whole email he sent you was a spelling mistake, has he graduated from primary school?
May 30th, 2008 at 1:49 am
PWAHAHAHAH… with all the HEEHAAWWWW I suddenly remembered CAT AND DONKEY when they mixed their bodies in Shrek III LMAO!!!
Srsly… what the (heehawwww) with this (heehawwww)???
May 30th, 2008 at 1:50 am
I decided to be extra super picky, so here’s my breakdown by type of spelling error:
yor=your
coud=could
bcause=because
anywher=anywhere
proll y=probably
wit=with
soo=so
sware=swear
o=oh
u=you (x2)
now=know
freakin=freaking
Basic Spelling Mistakes: 13
yd=extraneous nonsensical letters?
girls=girl’s
calebs=caleb’s
read=reads
Including misspellings due to grammar and stupidity: 17
caleb=Kaleb (x3)
Including misspellings due to not being able to get a name right (mistakes because he spelled it correctly at the end, so he knew it): 20
prolly=probably (separate from other proll y)
btw=slang
omfg=slang
cause=because (x2)
gf=girlfriend
Including slang and laziness: 26
And that’s my final answer. Twenty-six.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:51 am
Kaleb I heart you.. I got to 18 spelling mistakes before I gave up. As an English major, it’s very frustrating to read such poor grammar.
*Love!!*
May 30th, 2008 at 1:56 am
It was almost painful reading that…I am a grammar and spelling freak. haha
I don’t understand if he hates Twilight & this site so much, why does he “waste” his time writing to you? It doesn’t make much sense…
As for all of the mistakes, I am not sure what you consider a “spelling” mistake…
I counted fourteen, including the “bcause,” “yd,” “freakin,” “o,” and two “u.” If you count him spelling your name wrong, it’s seventeen. If you want to count the “BTW,” “OMFG,” and “GF” it’s twenty. Plus, he missed the hypen in “e-mail,” the apostrophe in “girl’s,” and made a tense error in the second to last sentence.
Yeah, I could go on…
I overanalyzed, I know, but I have nothing better to do. My mom’s an English teacher, so it’s a curse. :]
Anyway, happy reading Kaleb!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:06 am
I think it’s 17. This is just plain stupidity. Proper spelling and grammar are quite easy considering we live in the computer age; every computer I’ve used has spell check.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:10 am
Holy Crow, I need bleach from the spelling! >_<. But honestly, I think it’s rather funny how he spent so much time 1) reading your site and 2) to write you. I mean, if you really don’t like someone or their site don’t go back to it and don’t talk to them!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:19 am
11 mistakes, 8, if you dont count the prolly, which he PROBABLY did on purpose (I left out the slang, comp lingo, and shortenings.)
By the way, only a LOSER talks about imaginary girlfriends to people online. What a dork, putting his nonexistent life out there and giving explanations too…Just proves it even more…How uncool.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:22 am
coud - could
prolly - probably
bcause - because
btw - by the way
yd - yesterday
omfg - oh my [oink] god
caleb - Kaleb
anywher - anywhere
proll y - probably
cause - because
calebs - Kaleb’s
i - I (the one thing he DIDN’T capitalize)
caleb - Kaleb
prolly - probably
wit - with
soo - so
sware - swear
o - oh
u - you
now - know
gf - girlfriend
u - you
freakin - freaking
Wow, he finally got your name right.
The line between bad grammar and bad spelling was more than a little blurry, so I erred on the side of doubt.
That comes to 23
May 30th, 2008 at 2:26 am
I doubt that his girlfriend called him back. If I had ever dated anyone with the grammatical skills of a two year old and somehow managed to escape the relationship, I most certainly wouldn’t be calling him back.
Anyways, I just wanted to say I love this site and I check it daily. Its nice to read a guy’s perspective on my current obsession and I can’t wait for your next update.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:31 am
I got thirteen mistakes, not counting grammatical and shortenings (btw, gf etc.)
What an idiot.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:16 am
Well i counted around 12 not counting words like btw, etc…
yeah this guy is such a loser that he has nothing better to do than writing this stupid thing…. what an idiot..
May 30th, 2008 at 3:21 am
He is so…ENVIOUS!
i could read it in his tone… he just knows he cannot be the perfect guy so he takes it out on him.
His poor girlfriend! (unless he doesn’t have one because he is so anti-edward behavior)
May 30th, 2008 at 3:31 am
Hmmm, what an ass! I counted 16. I didn’t include substitutes such as “u” for “you”, etc, as I use them myself. But there was no excuse for the rest.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:42 am
Yes, what an ass.
Except that’s not fair to donkies. 
I’m a bit stunned that he feels this kind of intense hatefulness. It’s bizarre in the extreme that he can feel such fury and loathing towards a book he’s never read and its fans. He’s seriously abusive, and I have to admit I’m a bit concerned about his girlfriend. She seems to need some help leaving him, and I hope she finds it.
Kaleb, I get a kick out of your site - keep up the great work!
Oh and I’ll go with Asta’s response for spelling mistakes; she was very thorough
May 30th, 2008 at 4:06 am
I counted 12 including your name several times..The guys a JERK…I especially don’t like it when he says that Woman Author thing… how dare he put STEPH down…If he were here I would squish him like the FLEA brain that he is!!!
May 30th, 2008 at 4:27 am
This is very entertaining, haha. I can’t believe this person. He’s just jealous of Kaleb’s awesomeness. Here are the spelling/grammar errors I found – all 27 of them o.o
“…so I come back to your site” – should be ‘came back’. Past tense, ja?
yor – your
coud – could
prolly – probably
bcause – because
girls- girl’s
btw – by the way
yd – yesterday?
omfg – hee haw heehawing hee
‘millions of fans” – couldn’t seem to make up his mind whether to use quotation marks or apostrophes…
caleb – Kaleb
anywher – anywhere
proll y – probably
calebs – Kaleb’s
i – uncapitilised
caleb – Kaleb
cause – because
prolly – probably
wit – with
soo – so
sware – swear
o – oh
u – you
now – know
gf – girlfriend
“… anybody who read Twilight” – should be ‘reads Twilight’
u – you
Plus endless structure errors.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:08 am
I’m not English, so I’m gonna say too many to count them.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:19 am
i couted around 20. excluding obvious slang like BTW.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:23 am
i got 15 mistakes but thats only if u count GF as a mistake. and dont count ur name. he got those wrong too though…
god. some people are so retarded. I can think of 3 guys at my school who could have sent this though… isn’t that sad? I’d take Edward over all of them any day…
Kaleb, your site makes my life.
May 30th, 2008 at 5:28 am
Sounds like someone is jealous of a fictional character. Perhaps he should return to the primary school they kicked him out from and beg the them to teach him how to spell.
I’m not bothering counting the mistakes, what’s the point? We all know he’s an imbecile.
I love your blog kaleb, keep up the good work =)
May 30th, 2008 at 5:45 am
He made a LOT of mistakes!
I counted 20 altogether.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:03 am
I believe I count 13, but I am not sure if I should count abbreviations. If so, then it is 15. The fact that he spelled your name two different ways was quite amusing.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:15 am
Alright. Counting “1337-speak” and incorrect abbreviations (ex: “yd” for “yesterday”), as well as words that are technically spelled correctly, just in their wrong form (like a verb conjugated incorrectly, ex: “write” instead of “writes”), I’ve counted 19 errors. Throwing in the three times he misspells your name, that brings it up to 22.
And don’t worry. I think we all know who the “heehaw” is here.
May 30th, 2008 at 6:25 am
Does this boy have a life? Can he even read? I am starting to believe he is jealous because Kaleb can read the book and he can’t. That or Edward envy!
Keep up the great work Kaleb, I love your blog!
May 30th, 2008 at 6:30 am
Hey people, so I am sitting here tonight, replying to emails and watching Youtube, and I turn and suddenly there is all this light coming from my window.
Turns out, I went on answering mail all the way through Thursday night and into Friday morning without knowing. It is now 6:30 AM the next day. I just never went to bed.
It feels absolutely crazy. I mean, it seemed like just a second ago it was midnight.
But hopefully, some of you got some replies to your emails
. Now I’m off for…breakfast. Then a nap
–K
May 30th, 2008 at 7:27 am
Including chat-speak I got 19 mistakes.
So, if this guy hates the series so much:
1- Why does he keep coming back here?
2- Why does he care if /you/ are reading the series?
3- How does he know the correct spelling of Edward’s full name?
4- Why does he care enough to find specific people’s names on your site and call them out???
But really, he’s not very smart. For most girls, acting like Edward (protective, passionate, gentlemanly, etc) is a big plus for guys…
May 30th, 2008 at 7:27 am
i got 8 but im probably wrong.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:39 am
I got 21 mistakes…
Wow, dude needs to get a life. I mean really, does he not have anything better to do than blast Twilight? I’m agreeing with Melissa! He’s probably a closet Twilight Fan that is so afraid of being caught that he goes out of his way to blast it.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:43 am
Alright, including all of his acronyms, the three times he misspelled your name, and err everything else (I also counted when he said “proll y *insert something else here” as one mistake)…I got:
19
He officially fails. =)
May 30th, 2008 at 7:45 am
huh.
I’m confused as to why this guy even cares.
oh wait.
I got it.
He’s totally jealous.
hahah.
May 30th, 2008 at 7:54 am
I got 20 mistakes…. wow this guy just makes me laugh every time you post his stuff
May 30th, 2008 at 8:00 am
So I counted 9 spelling mistakes and 5 uses of abbrivations that shouldn’t be used (like U, O, YD, GF)
And I just want to say how amazed I am that people will waste so much of there life dumping on other people. So he doesn’t like Twilight get over it dude, leave the people alone who can see if for the awesome book it is. And obviously this guy has no life and needs to contact you in order to have interaction with other people.
Thanks for something so entertaining!
Julia
May 30th, 2008 at 8:01 am
i got 10 without the “o”s and “u”s and “omfg”.
so 10
May 30th, 2008 at 8:02 am
1. COME - should’ve been came
2. YOUR - you’re
3. YOR - your
4. COUD - could
5. PROLLY - probably
6. BCAUSE - because
7. BTW - by the way
8. GIRLS - girl’s
9. YD - yesterday?
10. caleb - Kaleb
11. anywher - anywhere
12. twilight - Twilight
13. proll - probably
14. y - why
15. cause - call
16. calebs - Kaleb’s
17. i - I
18. caleb - Kaleb
19. TO - so
20. PROLLY - probably
21. WIT - with
22. SOO - so
23. SWARE - swear
24. O - Oh
25. U - you
26. GF - girlfriend
27. U - you
28. FREAKIN - freaking
So my official count is 28 and that includes chat speak because since this is an email, he shouldn’t be writing in chat speak form. If he wants people to take him seriously, he should take the time to spell out the words. Also, some of his sentences didn’t really make any sense. Why bother using all the profanities? Why not intellectually articulate why people, or in his case, guys shouldn’t read Twilight. This guy needs a life. Pronto!
May 30th, 2008 at 8:07 am
Haha! This was a really good laugh. I can’t believe he actually came back!
Now, it’s really hard to judge what you mean by spelling mistakes. First time I counted, I got 12, then the second time, I got 15. I think it depends on what you could. I decided to leave out grammar as it’s not technically spelling, and also abreviations as they are commonly used, and therefore allowable.
Poor guy, getting all these hate comments. I don’t know why he bothers writting the emails in the first place!
May 30th, 2008 at 8:11 am
wow… i got 18, but that’s counting punctuation errors such as apostrophes, as well as abbreviations such as AIM speak.
this guy is so funny i love making fun of people like him. he should know better than to go around a bunch of people obsessed with literature, when he can’t even spell your name right. tee hee
May 30th, 2008 at 8:29 am
I counted 25. I didn’t count the confused quotation marks around ‘MILLIONS OF FANS”.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:34 am
I count 16, if you include abbreviations like “o”, “u”, and “prolly”; 12 if you don’t.
Also, not that you need validation, but I think it’s very cool that you’re continuing to do this.
I’m enjoying reading your blog, and I like that you’re reading Twilight not only from a guy’s perspective, but also with a writer’s eye.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:35 am
I goy 26
this guy is an idiot
& his girlfriend probably never called him back due to his stupidness made him unable to know how to pick up the phone
my interpretation:(use of mistakes is purpose-ful)
“call me bac i luw u”
“dude, last time I called you you needed to e-mail so you could learn how to press ‘talk’ on the phone”
“AHHHHHHHHHHH TOO MANI BIG WURDZ…AHHHHHHHHHHH”(goes into coma on account of his brain cant recieve more than 3 words at a time w/o overlading) =)
yay! hes in a coma!
May 30th, 2008 at 8:36 am
whoops i wrote a typo^..I meant to say I GOT 26 words, not goy lol
May 30th, 2008 at 8:42 am
Wow. I find it difficult to believe that this guy is in ernest. If he is and this is his usual behavior and speech pattern it is astounding that he made it to age 10 (and I’m not entirely sure he has) without someone simply losing control and becoming uncharacteristically violent towards him, thus resulting in his death. Then again, I highly doubt it would be worth the life imprisonment, the guy simply is not worth it.
Kaleb, I commend you on your ingenuity and creativity, which brings humor and a higher level of intelligence to a distasteful issue.
May 30th, 2008 at 8:48 am
18?
Not exactly sure though.
As for the guy:
“Once a hehaw, always a hewhaw.”
That’s what I always say :]
May 30th, 2008 at 8:53 am
lmao..thats hilarious..I had come up with about 12, I didnt know grammer was included, but after reading all the comments, they had some big numbers..so now, IM SO CONFUSED!
May 30th, 2008 at 9:00 am
If it wasn’t already summer, I’d sic my English teacher on him. My guess is fifteen, not including shorthand like GF or YD.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:17 am
Now that was just freaking hilarious. XD
At least this loser made me laugh by writing this stupid email.
Oh and by the way, I got to 9 spelling errors, excluding the shortforms.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:25 am
COME ~ came
EMAIL ~ e-mail
YOR ~ your
COUD ~ could
PROLLY ~ probably
BCAUSE ~ because
BTW ~ by the way
GIRLS ~ girl’s
YD ~ yesterday
OMFG ~ oh my (hehaw) god
‘MILLIONS OF FANS” ~ either use ‘ or ”
you ~ your
caleb ~ Kaleb
anywher ~ anywhere
proll y ~ probably
calebs ~ Kaleb’s
i ~ I
caleb ~ Kaleb
CAUSE ~ because
PROLLY ~ probably
WIT ~ with
SOO ~ so
SWAR ~ swear
O ~ oh
U ~ you
NOW ~ know
GF ~ girlfriend
ANYBODY WHO READ ~ anybody who reads
U TOO ~ you, too
FREAKIN ~ freaking
I’m better than him, even though I’m from Germany!
I don’t believe his ex-girlfriend would want him back, because he is just so stupid. He needs a life so he wouldn’t be ‘wasting time’ trying to convince you that ‘Twilight’ is (hehaw). I bet he only ‘reads’ Playboy or something like that.
He’s the freak, not you. And he can’t even spell your name right. Why is he reading your site? This is a site for people who are interested in ‘Twilight.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Heehee, I counted 12 actual spelling mistakes… that’s too hysterical! xD Poor fellow, he does know that he’s doing nothing but make us burst out laughing, right? ^w^
May 30th, 2008 at 9:34 am
Ok, so I basically just went to town on this, and counted every mistake I found. So, including all of the typos and netspeak, here’s what I found:
Coud - could
Prolly (x2)- probably
Bcause - because
BTW – by the way
Girls – girl’s
YD - yesterday
OMFG – oh my [bleep] God
You - your
Caleb (x2) - Kaleb
Anywher - anywhere
Proll y - probably
Calebs – Kaleb’s
Cause - because
Wit - with
Soo - So
Sware - swear
O - oh
U (x2) - you
Now - know
GF - girlfriend
Read - reads
Freakin – freaking
Grand Total: 25
On another note, this guy must be needing some serious approval if he’s willing to tell Kaleb about his (potentially fabricated) girlfriend. My guess is that he’s about 15. I cringe at the thought of anyone much older than that having writing skills this utterly dismal.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:46 am
What a moron. I counted 16 mistakes, not counting ‘text speak’ and slang.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:51 am
I got 23 mistakes including your name and other computer slang words.
May 30th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Wow, what a (oink)tard
I counted 17, though I just woke up, so I probably missed a bunch. Oh well.
Somebody should make a video for this, like the “txt message breakup” video. You don’t get girls if you hate on twilight =P
May 30th, 2008 at 10:03 am
HAHAHAHAHA.
He’s hilarious.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Well….I counted 21 and that includes things like ’cause’ and the misspelling of KALEB’s name. Really. He writes the blog for goodness’ sake!
May 30th, 2008 at 10:09 am
You make my day Kaleb. I was laughing the entire time I read this, and then went back and read it again so I could laugh again. To be so negatively obsessive, there must be something wrong with GJ. I wonder if he is so obsessive about this because he is unsure of his masculinity?
Oh, I counted 11 strictly misspellings, nine more accepted text-slang and abbreviations (is yd acceptable for yesterday?), two apostrophe absences, and multiple capitalization errors, run-on sentences and absences of commas.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:09 am
your-should be you’re
yor-should be your
coud-could
prolly-probablyx3
bcause-because
btw-by the way
girls- should be girl’s
yd- yesterday
omfg- oh my f****** god
caleb-kaleb (which i found funny, since your name is on the site)x3
anywher-anywhere
cause-because
wit-with
soo-so
sware-swear
o-oh
u-youx2
gf-girlfriend
read-reads
freakin-freaking
webslang- 7
misspellings-18
total-25
it is my full belief that if you want to insult someone, you have to do it intelligently. apparently, most people don’t seem to agree with that concept these days…
May 30th, 2008 at 10:12 am
I got 12, with just the spelling errors. I thought about counting the grammar issues and chatspeak, too, but decided I didn’t have that kind of time.
*sigh*
What kind of moron does that?
May 30th, 2008 at 10:12 am
found another one!
now-know
so….
webslang-7
misspellings-19
total, 26
May 30th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Wow that guy can not spell at all. It’s horrible. I got 23, but I was never good at things like this.
May 30th, 2008 at 10:55 am
I got 23 spelling mistakes, bad grammer and slang words.
I can’t believe this guy came back to the site to see if Kaleb had listened to his e-mail, why would anyone listen to an idiot like that?
May 30th, 2008 at 10:57 am
21 mistakes. Of course, I usually get picky about punctuation. (Although I omitted the shorthand.)
Honestly, how do you stand for this? It’s enough of a reward to see how many people support you, I suppose.
Good luck with Twilight!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:21 am
I counted fourteen, not counting words that weren’t completely spelled out.
(PS - I love this site, it’s nice to know that there are some guys out there reading Twilight!)
May 30th, 2008 at 11:24 am
If I’m correct, there are 14 spelling mistakes.
By the way, I LOVE all your posts, you crack me up everyday Kaleb! keep up the good work
May 30th, 2008 at 11:26 am
wow, sounds like this guy is jealous that you have this amount of women fans looking at your site. geez, I wonder what his problem is? Well, at least he knows who Edward Cullen is and the book Twilight…ha ha. I’m glad you had the decency to cover up his vulgar comments…you are an Edward in my book Kaleb!
May 30th, 2008 at 11:30 am
Including all chat speak and the fact he spelled your name several times with a C instead of a K, I counted 17 mistakes.
I think he’s just jealous, because he’s probably really ugly, and just about any girl who reads the book thinks that a fictional character is better than he is. Edward is a gentleman, and he can kick ass, all while being incredibly handsome and funny at the same time. He’s also about 10x smarter than our rude little piggy. In fact I think every male character in the whole Twilight series is probably 10x smarter than mr.piggy and judging by his ugly attitude, more handsome as well.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:51 am
Just counting spelling mistakes (not grammar and not intentional abbreviations), I say 18.
May 30th, 2008 at 11:52 am
Including chatspeak and every other retarded mistake, I counted 24 mistakes…am I right?
May 30th, 2008 at 11:54 am
I counted 31, including all punctuation mistakes, grammatical errors, and even your name.
Last e-mail he sent, I was ready to fry me some bacon. This time I just want to kick this ass.
There is no grounds to sue over putting an e-mail on a blog, especially when the name is all but removed, and there is no way to trace the person.
And, GJ, my friend, Kaleb COULD, in fact, get a score more ladies than you. It’s a fact that women are repelled by stupidity and arrogance, two thing of which you reek.
(Still addressed to GJ) Attacking Kaleb in the first place was entirely out of line and to threaten him after is just pathetic.
Would you like me to dumb that down for you? You are an immature dumb-ass. Get over it.
Kaleb, you are awesome. You DO have a fan-base of thousands, if not more, girls (and guys who also applaud your bravery) and GJ is obviously just insecure about himself. If he can’t compare to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER (yes, GJ, we know Edward Cullen isn’t real. That’s why it’s called FICTION!) then he is just a sad, sad little boy.
My rant is over. Hope you enjoyed it.
Kristin
May 30th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
i’m pretty sure you can’t count the grammar mistakes, they are innumerable. somebody needs to teach him the proper structure of a sentence. i think he just needs a hug or a good swift kick in the…
May 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
haha wow, what a freak. he really has issues, that’s all i can say. but his little ran did serve one purpose - it brightened one of the crappiest days of my life. so thanks, dude, you just got a laugh out of me!
oh, and i counted like 14 mistakes i think? ha i lost count..
May 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Oh and being friends with extreme feminists drives me to say: How dare you insult a woman’s creative ability in such a way. I’m referring to “No wonder a lady wrote it.” What is that supposed to mean? That women can’t write as well as men? Where to you get off saying something like that when you’re spelling and grammatical errors were so numerous, it was hard to understand your e-mail? Are you superior to Stephenie Meyer? I think not. Are you superior to any female authors? Hell no. Are you superior to most women in general? The consensus points due south (that means “no” if you couldn’t understand).
So, therefore you have absolutely NO right to attack the work of a woman who makes more money than you will EVER pay in a strip club.
I have to say my rant is officially over.
Kristin
P.S. Just for spelling mistakes, I counted 22.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
17 typos, 3 acronyms, 2 misspellings of your name, and 1 grammar mistake. Total of 23. Wonder if this is more or less than the last one… Either way this was also highly amusing!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Okay, So I checked it in a little different way. Heres the key and once you see it, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out =)
KEY
(S)=Spelling error
(A)=Acronym
(!)=Punctuation mistake
(T?)=Possible typo (I think the “TO” in there should be “SO”)
(C)=Capitalization errors
And, the whole thing is in caps… Which really it is hard not to laugh at this because it doesn’t look that threatening or serious to people who actually know how to spell….
OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU’VE LEARNED ANYTHING OR LISTENED BUT (HEEHAW) YOUR(S) (HEEHAW) IS STILL HERE! AND YOU PUT MY (HEEHAW)ING EMAIL ON YOR(S) SITE!!! YOU KNOW I COUD(S) PROLLY(S) SUE YOU FOR THAT SINCE YOU DID NOT ASK TO PUT IT UP, IDIOT (HAW)ING (NEIGH).
YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE(S) NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW(A) I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS(!) DESK YD(A) AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT, AND THERE WAS SOME (NEIGH) ABOUT EDWARD AND LIKE HIS SUPER HOT FACE AND OTHER CRAP. I WENT OMFG(A) AND WANTED TO RIP THE BOOK UP. IT IS JUST SO STUPID AND NO WONDER A LADY WROTE IT SINCE ANY GUY WHO ACTS LIKE EDWARD IS EITHER STUPID OR A (HEEHAW)ING MORON WITH NO (HEEHAW)S. YOU GO TELL ALL YOUR ‘(!)MILLIONS OF FANS” (yeah right to (name removed) like you caleb(S) has anywher(S) near, most of twilight(C) guy fans are proll y(S) guys cause calebs(S) a (HEEHAW) and i(C) get more girls than this (HEEHAW) caleb(S) guy) TO(T?) JUST GO ON DREAMING CAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EDWARD (HEEHAW)ING CULLEN! AND THAT (name removed) GIRL WOULD PROLLY(S) BEG ME TO (HEEHAW) WIT(S) HER SO SHUT UP.
SOO(S) IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING SWARE(S) I WILL SUE YOU!!! O(S) AND SO U(S) NOW(S) MY GF(A) CALLED WANTING ME BACK BUT I SAID (HAW) BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ(S) TWILIGHT IS A FREAK. THAT MEANS U(S) TOO KALEB (HEEHAW)ING TWILIGHTGUY(S) FREAKIN(S) PUNK(HAW) (HEEHAW)!
So If I counted up all the spelling errors (S) correctly, it would be 21 (I could have mis-counted though).
I don’t really think acronyms could be considered spelling errors, and you said to count the spelling errors, so I’m not including the punctuation or the capitalization errors. We gotta focus on spelling I suppose =)
Oh, by the way, I think YD means yesterday.
But yeah, to round it all up, this guy is pretty stupid. I seriously doubt that his girlfriend (or “GF”) called him back. Thats pretty stupid to break up with some one just because they like a book.
So, a message to GJ: Good luck having a happy successful life.
Kaleb, you’re awesome. And though this will sound like I’m writing in a year book, don’t ever change! ^^
May 30th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I tried to count the mistakes, but there were just too many. Plus the number of grammatical mistakes. Yeah, the number would be too high to keep track of. But you are better than that Kaleb! You rock all of my freaking socks as well as all of my freinds socks! However, that number would be no where near as high as the mistakes GJ made, or the number of socks Michael WElsh probably now owns. It would be pretty funny to see if he actually tries to sue you, though.
~Laura
May 30th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I got a total of 15 spelling mistakes…..someone’s a genius!!
May 30th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Spelling mistakes? I counted just sole spelling mistakes which included chat speak or improper word emphasis which totaled 18.
Grammar errors? I saw many which included tense misuse and punctuation deficits.
Mental issues? I don’t think it’s really possible to count that, but a therapist could help.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I counted 17, but honestly, it’s so messed up, it’s hard to tell. I neglected a few netspeak terms and your name, though. Wah.
I freaking love this. Keep doing what you’re doing, Kaleb, and thank you so much for putting this up. XD
May 30th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
1) “Coud” > “Could”
“Anywher” > “Anywhere”
2) “Prolly” > “Probably”
3) [Grammar...Not sure if this counts, but I figured I'd note his mistake anyway] “Since” > “Because”
4) “Bcause” > “Because”
5) “Girls” > “Girl’s”
6) “YD” > “Yesterday” (I assume?)
7) [Grammar...again] “Since” > “Because”
9) “Proll y” > “Probably”
10) “Calebs” > “Caleb’s”
11) “Prolly” > “Probably” (how many times does he need to misspell this word?)
12) “Wit” > “With”
13) “Soo” > “So”
14) “Sware” > “Swear”
15) “O” > “Oh,”
16) “U” > “You”
17) “GF” > “Girlfriend”
18) “U” > “You”
19) “Freakin” > “Freaking” or proper slang would be “Freakin’”
Doesn’t this idiot have spell check on his email?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Wow. Talk about butchering the english language. Ignoring netspeak terms I counted 19 spelling errors. However, the whole e-mail is unsound in many other ways like grammatically, and mentally. Although, incrediably entertaining. ^^
May 30th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
I counted 28 spelling misakes.
What a dillweed.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Goodness sakes! I didn’t know that it was possible to sound like such an idiot via e-mail twice in a row….He seriously needs an attitude adjustment. (and a mental health check)
I counted 19 spelling errors, though if it were gramatical errors there would be a few more.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Since you said ’spelling errors’, thats all I’m going to count. So all the grammar is going overlooked
Yor = your
coud = could
prolly = probably
bcause = because
yd = ? yesterday?
Caleb = Kaleb
anywher = anywhere
proll y = probably
Caleb, again = Kaleb
prolly = probably
wit = with?
sware = swear
freakin = freaking
So, about 13 or so, unless you count these and the other miscellaneous errors..
U = you (x2)
O = Oh
OMFG
But, towards the end, he spelled Kaleb correctly, hmm.
May 30th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Wow, what an idiot. You know, this guy just proves that–especially in this situation–it’s the SMART guys who decide to pick up Twilight.
At least he’s good for a laugh. And maybe a t-shirt.
Paragraph #1
“I COME BACK”—I came back…
“COUD”—Could
“PROLLY”—Probably…
Total so far: 3
Paragraph #2
“BCAUSE”—Because…
“BTW”—By the way…
“GIRLS”—Girl’s… It changes the whole meaning of the word!
“YD”—Yesterday…
“OMFG”—Oh my (HEEHAW)ing gosh…
“caleb”—Kaleb…
“anywher”—Anywhere…
“proll y”—Probably…
“calebs”—Kaleb’s…
“i”—I (yes, I consider this misspelled)…
“caleb”—KALEB! *sigh*…
“cause”—Because or ‘cause…
“CAUSE”—Because or ‘cause…
“PROLLY”—Probably…
“WIT”—With…
Total so far: 18
Paragraph #3 (In the which he figures out how to spell your name…)
“SOO”—So…
“SWARE”—Swear…
“O”—Oh…
“U”—You…
“NOW”—Know…
“GF”—Girlfriend…
“READ”—Reads
“U”—You…
“FREAKIN”—Freaking…
Total: 27 (28 if you include Twilight Guy in one word as a misspelling! Even more if you include terrible grammar!)
A bit CapsLock happy, isn’t he?
May 30th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
P.S.
+++++
“YOR”–Your (paragraph #1)
May 30th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Welll I think there are 13 spelling errors, but I was never very good with that. Haha this guy’s emails make me laugh, he is such a loser, what girl would want to (HEEHAW) with him
May 30th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
What a jerk, well at least we get a good laugh out this caveman. you keep on writing we love your site.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
There’s about 14 basic spelling mistakes and 17 mistakes total. Maybe in exchange for putting his message on here we could give him a copy of a online dictionary. ^_-
May 30th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
It’s complete gibberish. I’m glad you decided to post it, though
May 30th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Now it really… ticks me off to see ignorant people who haven’t read the book, bash it. It’s not just a book. It’s.. a life story. It teaches you these things you never knew about. This just goes to show that the gene pool is…not improving. Yet you, responding so intelligently, is solid proof that there are some guys using their noggins. =) Keep on posting, because I love to look at your stuff.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
I got 9.
Kaleb you are absolutely hilarious! I love how you turn this idiotic situation into a joke
May 30th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
You need a wall of shame, like mugglenet, if you keep getting these.
May 30th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Wow. I’m surprised you actaully were able to decipher his heehaw-y rant. I honestly didn’t even try to interpret what he was saying, I did my best and I found 28. Anywho, it seems like somebody has jealousy problems with a fictional character…and that’s just sad. Don’t let these (teehee) heehaws get to your head, you are awesome, and HILARIOUS!!!! Keep up the good work, everytime you update you totally make my day!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
I hate dumb people haha. He deserves being posted and made fun of for being so ignorant. And if he really thinks that then why doesn’t he go ahead and stop coming to the site. Because that would make sense.
Anyway I’m pretty sure I counted 13 mistakes counting a few grammar mistakes. I think I missed some though.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
How much do you want to bet that his parents beat him and locked him in dark rooms as a child? Honestly, I bet he never had a girlfriend to begin with.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
I counted 20 spelling errors, including weird abbreviations and slang (prolly, gf, yd, etc.). I counted three other errors (punctuation and capitalization). Good luck deciding which of us actually has the right answer you’re looking for.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
The guy’s a total jerk, but very entertaining to read. Thanks for sharing Kaleb, that gave me a good laugh.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
What an idiot. Some people need to get lives. If he’s so against Twilight and those who read it then why is he wasting his time sending you those messages, Kaleb? I wouldn’t be surprised if he secretly reads Twilight and just doesn’t want the rest of the world to know. lol. He needs professional help (not because of his Twilight addiction because then we’d all be in trouble, but because of his need for attention and his inability to at least attempt to spell correctly when he’s attempting to insult someone).
Here are the mistakes I found, though I could be wrong on some of them because I’m tired as all get out right now (lol):
1. Okay (even though I tend to spell it the same way it is actually not spelled that way) = OK.
2. YOR = Your
3. COUD = Could
4. PROLLY = Probably
5. BCAUSE = Because
6. YD = I’m guessing this is suppose to be Yesterday though I’ve never seen anyone abbreviate it like that before.
7. Caleb = I’m fairly certain your name is spelled with a K.
8. anywher = Anywhere
9. proll = Probably
10. y = Why
11. Calebs = Again…not a K in sight.
12. i = Anyone with any sense of grammar should know that an I alone should be upper case. Sure people don’t always follow the rules of grammar on the net, but you should if you’re in the process of ridiculing someone by writing a very nasty, little letter to them.
13. Caleb = Yet again. Do I need to explain?
14. PROLLY = Probably
15. WIT = With
16. SOO = So
17. SWARE = Swear
18. O = Oh
19. U = You
20. NOW = Know
21. GF = Girlfriend. This is not a technical misspelling considering it’s internet lingo, but just thought I’d point it out anyways.
22. READ = Should be Reads in the sentence, “BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ TWILIGHT IS A FREAK.”
23. U = You
24. FREAKIN = Freaking
This was fun correcting his mistakes. Perhaps someone should email him with all the corrections.
I bet that’ll make him feel even more like a jackass.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Guys like GJ make girls want a guy like Edward even more. Unfortunately for us, most guys need to actually learn to read something longer than a sports article before they can read an actual book.
Kaleb, are you sure you can’t pretend to send him an anit-twilight tee shirt and “accidentally” post the address?
May 30th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Wow, someone has a bad temper! I think his spelling is just sad, I counted 27 mistakes though. Am I right . . or even close?? I’m usually bad at spelling anyways, so if I’m way off you’ll know why!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I needed to read this thing like three times before I could even understand what he was trying to say. I mean what kind of idiot bashes the awesomest twilightguy/book/author/fictional character ever? Due to my lack of spelling skills i’m not even going to try to count his errors, but i’d just like to point out that my eight year old sister can spell better than him and she’s in second grade. I feel sorry for all the unforntunate girls who’ve had the displeasure of meeting GJ and his twilight hating, edward bashing, rudeness twoards kaleb, bad spelling self!
keep bloging kaleb we love you!! *jordin*
May 30th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
1. coud
2. prolly
3. bcause
4. btw
5. yd (?)
6. omfg
7. ‘” (unnecessary)
8. celeb
9. anywher
10. proll y
11. calebs
12. caleb
13. cause
14. prolly
15. wit
16. soo
17. sware
18. o
19. u
20. now
21. gf
22. u
23. freakin
And don’t even get me started with punctuation.
Kaleb… this guy is a douche. I love how you continually mock him.
Keep up the good work!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Yeah, I counted 15 mistakes. Wow, that was so painful, my eyes began to beg in protest as I read. Someone should ask this guy why he has checks out a Twilight related site, seeing as he hates it so much.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
I counted like 17 but I’m prolly (hahah probably) wrong
May 30th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Heh. That dude needs to get a life.
It’s hard to believe that he had a girlfriend in the first place.
As for the spelling mistakes, I’m not going to even bother counting them.
There are far too many. And there are more than just spelling mistakes, too.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Wow, this guy really needs to relax. I mean if he is getting this worked up over a book (a great book mind you, I’m afraid to know what other everday things upsets him like this,lol.
Anyway, on to more important thing, I counted roughly 20 mistakes in this.
Geez, he should be more angry at his spelling then at a book,lol.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
I found 15 errors not including grammatical errors, extra apotheoses (I hope I spelled that right), and some slang that my literature teacher uses…
that guy needs a life…seriously. Maybe he’d like The Host better. I’m sure he’d just love Kyle…
May 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I counted 27 spelling mistakes (3 of those being your name).
I also tried to count all the punctuation and capitalization errors, but I quickly lost count (seeing as the whole thing was in “caps lock”.)
It seems our GJ is not the brightest crayon in the box.
Don’t let him get to you. If it makes you feel any better, he “prolly” can’t heeehawing understand any of the words you say. Idiots don’t have very high vocabularies, you see.
I love you, and don’t stop reading!
May 30th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
bahaha. thats funny. he’s just jealous. haha.
and i am guessing 19 misspellings. but i really don’t know. haha.
May 30th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Obviously this guy has the ego problems. I can see him as one of those movie portrayed football jocks that is too worried about there image to actually think for a moment.
So go Kaleb for not being an egotistical “GJ”
May 30th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Wow is this guy a jerk. I just don’t understand the people that go out of their way to tear down books or movies or whatever. If you hate it so much, stop wasting your time going on fansites and harassing the fans! Jeez.
Anyway here’s how I broke up the spelling mistakes:
I counted 12 general mistakes not including any of the slang or causal shortenings of words.
coud-could
bcause-because
anywher-anywhere
proll y-probably (it’s sad he couldn’t even spell the abbreviated slang right)
caleb(x3 including the calebs)
wit-with
soo-so
sware-swear
now-know
freakin-freaking
Then 11 slang and shortened words. This includes using:
prolly (x2)
cause (x2)
yd (which to my best guess is ‘yesterday’)
btw
omfg
o
u (x2)
gf
And finally I’m going to throw in 5 spelling errors due to bad grammer. So 2 for forgotten apostrophes (girl’s and Caleb’s), no hypen in email, incorrect tense (read=reads), and writing TwilightGuy as one word.
So that’s a grand total of 28 including all the errors.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Some guys will never learn…As my sister would say he’s a few fries short of a happy meal
May 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I counted 28 spelling mistakes.
I laughed so hard when I read this. What a complete and total moron. It must be tiresome being subjected to this kind of idiocy.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Including “text talk,” capitalization errors, problems with punctuation, spelling your name wrong, using different quotations (’ and “) I found 25.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I found another one: so 26.
May 30th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
That was quite entertaining! He turned from a pig to a donkey *laughs*.
Well just strictly counting spelling mistakes I got 20. Haha it was worth a try!
May 30th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
i think i seriously have a crush on the twilight guy