(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

Some Guys Will Never Learn (II)

May 30th, 2008 at 1:00 am by Kaleb Nation

OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU’VE LEARNED
ANYTHING OR LISTENED BUT (HEEHAW) YOUR (HEEHAW) IS STILL HERE!
AND YOU PUT MY (HEEHAW)ING EMAIL ON YOR SITE!!! YOU KNOW I COUD
PROLLY SUE YOU FOR THAT SINCE YOU DID NOT ASK TO PUT IT UP, IDIOT
(HAW)ING (NEIGH).

YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE
NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW I SAW IT ON SOME
GIRLS DESK YD AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT, AND THERE
WAS SOME (NEIGH) ABOUT EDWARD AND LIKE HIS SUPER HOT FACE AND
OTHER CRAP. I WENT OMFG AND WANTED TO RIP THE BOOK UP. IT IS JUST SO
STUPID AND NO WONDER A LADY WROTE IT SINCE ANY GUY WHO ACTS LIKE
EDWARD IS EITHER STUPID OR A (HEEHAW)ING MORON WITH NO (HEEHAW)S.
YOU GO TELL ALL YOUR ‘MILLIONS OF FANS” (yeah right to (name removed) like
you caleb has anywher near, most of twilight guy fans are proll y
guys cause calebs a (HEEHAW) and i get more girls than this (HEEHAW) caleb guy) TO JUST GO ON DREAMING CAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS
EDWARD (HEEHAW)ING CULLEN! AND THAT (name removed) GIRL WOULD PROLLY BEG ME TO
(HEEHAW) WIT HER SO SHUT UP.

SOO IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING
SWARE I WILL SUE YOU!!! O AND SO U NOW MY GF CALLED WANTING ME BACK
BUT I SAID (HAW) BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ TWILIGHT IS
A FREAK. THAT MEANS U TOO KALEB (HEEHAW)ING TWILIGHTGUY FREAKIN
PUNK(HAW) (HEEHAW)!

GJ

We last heard from GJ on the first of this month. Just so you know, he can’t sue me, because of the email policy. There goes GJ’s sole chance at fame and fortune.

I also highly doubt the validity of his claim that his girlfriend called him back.

I would offer him a t-shirt, but then I would need his address, and I’m certain he doesn’t want that being passed around. So in place of his t-shirt, count how many spelling mistakes he makes, comment the number you found, and I’ll randomly pick one person with the correct answer to get a free shirt from TwilightTeez.com in his place. How’s that?

ADDED MAY 31 — This contest closes June 3, 2008. You MUST enter through COMMENTS on this post. Thanks for all the email entries, but they will NOT count, and I cannot reply to the one’s I’ve gotten.  


Posted in Hatemail


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409 Responses

  1. Autumn

    Hah, this is interesting.

    I would count the spelling mistakes, but I’m a horrible speller. So, I’d end up making a fool of myself.

    How do you put up with people like that? I’d get very annoyed if I were you.

  2. Sarah

    What. A. Loser.

    I hope he feels better, because he sure made ME feel better (laughing really DOES brighten up my day).

    I’m glad he pointed out that Edward’s not real… that really took me (and the rest of the world) by surprise. I wouldn’t have figured it out, if it weren’t for him, so I owe him one.

    It really brightens my outlook too, knowing that this bloke would probably bash a can of bent peaches on his forehead, if only to prove the world his manliness…

    Including chat speak, I counted 15 mistakes. But I’m probably wrong.

    Keep up the posting, I doubt I’m the only female who gets a kick out of reading your blog.

  3. Melonie Piper

    It’s hard to tell what counts as a spelling mistake and just plain stupidity. Like the fact that he spelled your name wrong, for one. Oh, and the fact that he can’t take the time to type out an entire word (like “O” instead of “Oh”). That being said I’m giving it a shot in the dark, with your name misspelled three times and words not typed out included, as 12. How’d I do?

  4. Bella

    Major douche bag

    well excluding all the OMFGS and O’s (about 4/5 – making it 12/13) there are 8 – including the fact that he spelt your name with a C instead of a K three times. I think I’ll go with the unlucky number 13….and 12.

    He’s right he shouldn’t read twilight. He needs to read a dictionary.

  5. Hazel

    Ugh. I am disgusted to even be the same species as him.

    You hear that? That is the sound of a million fans getting ready to go trample that moron into oblivion.

  6. frankie

    Wow, this guy is seriously pathetic. Did this guy even pass grammar school?! And that girl would have torn him to pieces if he’d have torn up her book. I’ve got 14 spelling mistakes and the whole thing is a grammar nightmare. I think my eyes may actually be bleeding. Come on Kaleb, just accidentally give us his address. Pretty please with sugar on top.

  7. Natali

    Kaleb you are awesome, he didn’t even get your name right. What a good laugh.

  8. Luie

    He is probably one of the biggest low life’s ever born. That whole email he sent you was a spelling mistake, has he graduated from primary school?

  9. inmortal

    PWAHAHAHAH… with all the HEEHAAWWWW I suddenly remembered CAT AND DONKEY when they mixed their bodies in Shrek III LMAO!!!

    Srsly… what the (heehawwww) with this (heehawwww)???

  10. Asta

    I decided to be extra super picky, so here’s my breakdown by type of spelling error:

    yor=your
    coud=could
    bcause=because
    anywher=anywhere
    proll y=probably
    wit=with
    soo=so
    sware=swear
    o=oh
    u=you (x2)
    now=know
    freakin=freaking

    Basic Spelling Mistakes: 13

    yd=extraneous nonsensical letters?
    girls=girl’s
    calebs=caleb’s
    read=reads

    Including misspellings due to grammar and stupidity: 17

    caleb=Kaleb (x3)

    Including misspellings due to not being able to get a name right (mistakes because he spelled it correctly at the end, so he knew it): 20

    prolly=probably (separate from other proll y)
    btw=slang
    omfg=slang
    cause=because (x2)
    gf=girlfriend

    Including slang and laziness: 26

    And that’s my final answer. Twenty-six.

  11. Jen

    Kaleb I heart you.. I got to 18 spelling mistakes before I gave up. As an English major, it’s very frustrating to read such poor grammar.

    *Love!!*

  12. Caitlin

    It was almost painful reading that…I am a grammar and spelling freak. haha

    I don’t understand if he hates Twilight & this site so much, why does he “waste” his time writing to you? It doesn’t make much sense…

    As for all of the mistakes, I am not sure what you consider a “spelling” mistake…
    I counted fourteen, including the “bcause,” “yd,” “freakin,” “o,” and two “u.” If you count him spelling your name wrong, it’s seventeen. If you want to count the “BTW,” “OMFG,” and “GF” it’s twenty. Plus, he missed the hypen in “e-mail,” the apostrophe in “girl’s,” and made a tense error in the second to last sentence.

    Yeah, I could go on…
    I overanalyzed, I know, but I have nothing better to do. My mom’s an English teacher, so it’s a curse. :]

    Anyway, happy reading Kaleb!

  13. Pam

    I think it’s 17. This is just plain stupidity. Proper spelling and grammar are quite easy considering we live in the computer age; every computer I’ve used has spell check.

  14. Arockr

    Holy Crow, I need bleach from the spelling! >_<. But honestly, I think it’s rather funny how he spent so much time 1) reading your site and 2) to write you. I mean, if you really don’t like someone or their site don’t go back to it and don’t talk to them!

  15. Insomnia

    11 mistakes, 8, if you dont count the prolly, which he PROBABLY did on purpose (I left out the slang, comp lingo, and shortenings.)

    By the way, only a LOSER talks about imaginary girlfriends to people online. What a dork, putting his nonexistent life out there and giving explanations too…Just proves it even more…How uncool.

  16. Caroline

    coud – could
    prolly – probably
    bcause – because
    btw – by the way
    yd – yesterday
    omfg – oh my [oink] god
    caleb – Kaleb
    anywher – anywhere
    proll y – probably
    cause – because
    calebs – Kaleb’s
    i – I (the one thing he DIDN’T capitalize)
    caleb – Kaleb
    prolly – probably
    wit – with
    soo – so
    sware – swear
    o – oh
    u – you
    now – know
    gf – girlfriend
    u – you
    freakin – freaking

    Wow, he finally got your name right.
    The line between bad grammar and bad spelling was more than a little blurry, so I erred on the side of doubt.

    That comes to 23

  17. Kaylee

    I doubt that his girlfriend called him back. If I had ever dated anyone with the grammatical skills of a two year old and somehow managed to escape the relationship, I most certainly wouldn’t be calling him back.

    Anyways, I just wanted to say I love this site and I check it daily. Its nice to read a guy’s perspective on my current obsession and I can’t wait for your next update.

  18. Des

    I got thirteen mistakes, not counting grammatical and shortenings (btw, gf etc.)

    What an idiot.

  19. Claudia

    Well i counted around 12 not counting words like btw, etc…

    yeah this guy is such a loser that he has nothing better to do than writing this stupid thing…. what an idiot..

  20. Andrea

    He is so…ENVIOUS!

    i could read it in his tone… he just knows he cannot be the perfect guy so he takes it out on him.
    His poor girlfriend! (unless he doesn’t have one because he is so anti-edward behavior)

  21. Rosey

    Hmmm, what an ass! I counted 16. I didn’t include substitutes such as “u” for “you”, etc, as I use them myself. But there was no excuse for the rest.

  22. sparkles

    Yes, what an ass. :P Except that’s not fair to donkies. ;)

    I’m a bit stunned that he feels this kind of intense hatefulness. It’s bizarre in the extreme that he can feel such fury and loathing towards a book he’s never read and its fans. He’s seriously abusive, and I have to admit I’m a bit concerned about his girlfriend. She seems to need some help leaving him, and I hope she finds it.

    Kaleb, I get a kick out of your site – keep up the great work! :)

    Oh and I’ll go with Asta’s response for spelling mistakes; she was very thorough :)

  23. Joanne Maria

    I counted 12 including your name several times..The guys a JERK…I especially don’t like it when he says that Woman Author thing… how dare he put STEPH down…If he were here I would squish him like the FLEA brain that he is!!!

  24. Rhiannon

    This is very entertaining, haha. I can’t believe this person. He’s just jealous of Kaleb’s awesomeness. Here are the spelling/grammar errors I found – all 27 of them o.o

    “…so I come back to your site” – should be ‘came back’. Past tense, ja?
    yor – your
    coud – could
    prolly – probably
    bcause – because
    girls- girl’s
    btw – by the way
    yd – yesterday?
    omfg – hee haw heehawing hee
    ‘millions of fans” – couldn’t seem to make up his mind whether to use quotation marks or apostrophes…
    caleb – Kaleb
    anywher – anywhere
    proll y – probably
    calebs – Kaleb’s
    i – uncapitilised
    caleb – Kaleb
    cause – because
    prolly – probably
    wit – with
    soo – so
    sware – swear
    o – oh
    u – you
    now – know
    gf – girlfriend
    “… anybody who read Twilight” – should be ‘reads Twilight’
    u – you
    Plus endless structure errors.

  25. GB

    I’m not English, so I’m gonna say too many to count them.

  26. Krupali

    i couted around 20. excluding obvious slang like BTW.

  27. Maddy

    i got 15 mistakes but thats only if u count GF as a mistake. and dont count ur name. he got those wrong too though…

    god. some people are so retarded. I can think of 3 guys at my school who could have sent this though… isn’t that sad? I’d take Edward over all of them any day…

    Kaleb, your site makes my life.

  28. Jess

    Sounds like someone is jealous of a fictional character. Perhaps he should return to the primary school they kicked him out from and beg the them to teach him how to spell.

    I’m not bothering counting the mistakes, what’s the point? We all know he’s an imbecile.

    I love your blog kaleb, keep up the good work =)

  29. Brittney

    He made a LOT of mistakes!
    I counted 20 altogether.

  30. Cassia

    I believe I count 13, but I am not sure if I should count abbreviations. If so, then it is 15. The fact that he spelled your name two different ways was quite amusing.

  31. Caitlin

    Alright. Counting “1337-speak” and incorrect abbreviations (ex: “yd” for “yesterday”), as well as words that are technically spelled correctly, just in their wrong form (like a verb conjugated incorrectly, ex: “write” instead of “writes”), I’ve counted 19 errors. Throwing in the three times he misspells your name, that brings it up to 22.

    And don’t worry. I think we all know who the “heehaw” is here.

  32. Stephanie

    Does this boy have a life? Can he even read? I am starting to believe he is jealous because Kaleb can read the book and he can’t. That or Edward envy!

    Keep up the great work Kaleb, I love your blog!

  33. Kaleb Nation

    Hey people, so I am sitting here tonight, replying to emails and watching Youtube, and I turn and suddenly there is all this light coming from my window.

    Turns out, I went on answering mail all the way through Thursday night and into Friday morning without knowing. It is now 6:30 AM the next day. I just never went to bed.

    It feels absolutely crazy. I mean, it seemed like just a second ago it was midnight.

    But hopefully, some of you got some replies to your emails ;) . Now I’m off for…breakfast. Then a nap

    :)

    –K

  34. Melissa

    Including chat-speak I got 19 mistakes.

    So, if this guy hates the series so much:
    1- Why does he keep coming back here?
    2- Why does he care if /you/ are reading the series?
    3- How does he know the correct spelling of Edward’s full name?
    4- Why does he care enough to find specific people’s names on your site and call them out???

    But really, he’s not very smart. For most girls, acting like Edward (protective, passionate, gentlemanly, etc) is a big plus for guys…

  35. twilight22lover

    i got 8 but im probably wrong.

  36. Mallory

    I got 21 mistakes…

    Wow, dude needs to get a life. I mean really, does he not have anything better to do than blast Twilight? I’m agreeing with Melissa! He’s probably a closet Twilight Fan that is so afraid of being caught that he goes out of his way to blast it.

  37. Julianne

    Alright, including all of his acronyms, the three times he misspelled your name, and err everything else (I also counted when he said “proll y *insert something else here” as one mistake)…I got:

    19

    He officially fails. =)

  38. Olivia

    huh.

    I’m confused as to why this guy even cares.

    oh wait.
    I got it.

    He’s totally jealous.

    hahah.

  39. Piper

    I got 20 mistakes…. wow this guy just makes me laugh every time you post his stuff

  40. Julia

    So I counted 9 spelling mistakes and 5 uses of abbrivations that shouldn’t be used (like U, O, YD, GF)

    And I just want to say how amazed I am that people will waste so much of there life dumping on other people. So he doesn’t like Twilight get over it dude, leave the people alone who can see if for the awesome book it is. And obviously this guy has no life and needs to contact you in order to have interaction with other people.

    Thanks for something so entertaining! :-)
    Julia

  41. allison

    i got 10 without the “o”s and “u”s and “omfg”.

    so 10

  42. Pholla

    1. COME – should’ve been came
    2. YOUR – you’re
    3. YOR – your
    4. COUD – could
    5. PROLLY – probably
    6. BCAUSE – because
    7. BTW – by the way
    8. GIRLS – girl’s
    9. YD – yesterday?
    10. caleb – Kaleb
    11. anywher – anywhere
    12. twilight – Twilight
    13. proll – probably
    14. y – why
    15. cause – call
    16. calebs – Kaleb’s
    17. i – I
    18. caleb – Kaleb
    19. TO – so
    20. PROLLY – probably
    21. WIT – with
    22. SOO – so
    23. SWARE – swear
    24. O – Oh
    25. U – you
    26. GF – girlfriend
    27. U – you
    28. FREAKIN – freaking

    So my official count is 28 and that includes chat speak because since this is an email, he shouldn’t be writing in chat speak form. If he wants people to take him seriously, he should take the time to spell out the words. Also, some of his sentences didn’t really make any sense. Why bother using all the profanities? Why not intellectually articulate why people, or in his case, guys shouldn’t read Twilight. This guy needs a life. Pronto!

  43. Daina

    Haha! This was a really good laugh. I can’t believe he actually came back!

    Now, it’s really hard to judge what you mean by spelling mistakes. First time I counted, I got 12, then the second time, I got 15. I think it depends on what you could. I decided to leave out grammar as it’s not technically spelling, and also abreviations as they are commonly used, and therefore allowable.

    Poor guy, getting all these hate comments. I don’t know why he bothers writting the emails in the first place! :P

  44. dayna

    wow… i got 18, but that’s counting punctuation errors such as apostrophes, as well as abbreviations such as AIM speak.

    this guy is so funny i love making fun of people like him. he should know better than to go around a bunch of people obsessed with literature, when he can’t even spell your name right. tee hee

  45. AJ

    I counted 25. I didn’t count the confused quotation marks around ‘MILLIONS OF FANS”.

  46. Sam

    I count 16, if you include abbreviations like “o”, “u”, and “prolly”; 12 if you don’t.

    Also, not that you need validation, but I think it’s very cool that you’re continuing to do this. :) I’m enjoying reading your blog, and I like that you’re reading Twilight not only from a guy’s perspective, but also with a writer’s eye.

  47. Ariana

    I goy 26
    this guy is an idiot

    & his girlfriend probably never called him back due to his stupidness made him unable to know how to pick up the phone

    my interpretation:(use of mistakes is purpose-ful)
    “call me bac i luw u”
    “dude, last time I called you you needed to e-mail so you could learn how to press ‘talk’ on the phone”
    “AHHHHHHHHHHH TOO MANI BIG WURDZ…AHHHHHHHHHHH”(goes into coma on account of his brain cant recieve more than 3 words at a time w/o overlading) =)
    yay! hes in a coma!

  48. Ariana

    whoops i wrote a typo^..I meant to say I GOT 26 words, not goy lol

  49. Ria

    Wow. I find it difficult to believe that this guy is in ernest. If he is and this is his usual behavior and speech pattern it is astounding that he made it to age 10 (and I’m not entirely sure he has) without someone simply losing control and becoming uncharacteristically violent towards him, thus resulting in his death. Then again, I highly doubt it would be worth the life imprisonment, the guy simply is not worth it.

    Kaleb, I commend you on your ingenuity and creativity, which brings humor and a higher level of intelligence to a distasteful issue.

  50. Nicky

    18?
    Not exactly sure though.
    As for the guy:
    “Once a hehaw, always a hewhaw.”
    That’s what I always say :]

  51. M.A.Estman

    lmao..thats hilarious..I had come up with about 12, I didnt know grammer was included, but after reading all the comments, they had some big numbers..so now, IM SO CONFUSED!

  52. Brianna

    If it wasn’t already summer, I’d sic my English teacher on him. My guess is fifteen, not including shorthand like GF or YD.

  53. Jessie

    Now that was just freaking hilarious. XD
    At least this loser made me laugh by writing this stupid email.

    Oh and by the way, I got to 9 spelling errors, excluding the shortforms.

  54. Minh-Thu

    COME ~ came
    EMAIL ~ e-mail
    YOR ~ your
    COUD ~ could
    PROLLY ~ probably
    BCAUSE ~ because
    BTW ~ by the way
    GIRLS ~ girl’s
    YD ~ yesterday
    OMFG ~ oh my (hehaw) god
    ‘MILLIONS OF FANS” ~ either use ‘ or ”
    you ~ your
    caleb ~ Kaleb
    anywher ~ anywhere
    proll y ~ probably
    calebs ~ Kaleb’s
    i ~ I
    caleb ~ Kaleb
    CAUSE ~ because
    PROLLY ~ probably
    WIT ~ with
    SOO ~ so
    SWAR ~ swear
    O ~ oh
    U ~ you
    NOW ~ know
    GF ~ girlfriend
    ANYBODY WHO READ ~ anybody who reads
    U TOO ~ you, too
    FREAKIN ~ freaking

    I’m better than him, even though I’m from Germany!

    I don’t believe his ex-girlfriend would want him back, because he is just so stupid. He needs a life so he wouldn’t be ‘wasting time’ trying to convince you that ‘Twilight’ is (hehaw). I bet he only ‘reads’ Playboy or something like that.
    He’s the freak, not you. And he can’t even spell your name right. Why is he reading your site? This is a site for people who are interested in ‘Twilight.

  55. JJ

    Heehee, I counted 12 actual spelling mistakes… that’s too hysterical! xD Poor fellow, he does know that he’s doing nothing but make us burst out laughing, right? ^w^

  56. Tara

    Ok, so I basically just went to town on this, and counted every mistake I found. So, including all of the typos and netspeak, here’s what I found:

    Coud – could
    Prolly (x2)- probably
    Bcause – because
    BTW – by the way
    Girls – girl’s
    YD – yesterday
    OMFG – oh my [bleep] God
    You – your
    Caleb (x2) – Kaleb
    Anywher – anywhere
    Proll y – probably
    Calebs – Kaleb’s
    Cause – because
    Wit – with
    Soo – So
    Sware – swear
    O – oh
    U (x2) – you
    Now – know
    GF – girlfriend
    Read – reads
    Freakin – freaking

    Grand Total: 25

    On another note, this guy must be needing some serious approval if he’s willing to tell Kaleb about his (potentially fabricated) girlfriend. My guess is that he’s about 15. I cringe at the thought of anyone much older than that having writing skills this utterly dismal.

  57. Jen

    What a moron. I counted 16 mistakes, not counting ‘text speak’ and slang.

  58. keida

    I got 23 mistakes including your name and other computer slang words.

  59. Jess

    Wow, what a (oink)tard
    I counted 17, though I just woke up, so I probably missed a bunch. Oh well.
    Somebody should make a video for this, like the “txt message breakup” video. You don’t get girls if you hate on twilight =P

  60. hazel

    HAHAHAHAHA.
    He’s hilarious.

  61. Katie

    Well….I counted 21 and that includes things like ’cause’ and the misspelling of KALEB’s name. Really. He writes the blog for goodness’ sake!

  62. Tiffany

    You make my day Kaleb. I was laughing the entire time I read this, and then went back and read it again so I could laugh again. To be so negatively obsessive, there must be something wrong with GJ. I wonder if he is so obsessive about this because he is unsure of his masculinity?

    Oh, I counted 11 strictly misspellings, nine more accepted text-slang and abbreviations (is yd acceptable for yesterday?), two apostrophe absences, and multiple capitalization errors, run-on sentences and absences of commas.

  63. kendall

    your-should be you’re
    yor-should be your
    coud-could
    prolly-probablyx3
    bcause-because
    btw-by the way
    girls- should be girl’s
    yd- yesterday
    omfg- oh my f****** god
    caleb-kaleb (which i found funny, since your name is on the site)x3
    anywher-anywhere
    cause-because
    wit-with
    soo-so
    sware-swear
    o-oh
    u-youx2
    gf-girlfriend
    read-reads
    freakin-freaking

    webslang- 7
    misspellings-18

    total-25

    it is my full belief that if you want to insult someone, you have to do it intelligently. apparently, most people don’t seem to agree with that concept these days…

  64. Cassi

    I got 12, with just the spelling errors. I thought about counting the grammar issues and chatspeak, too, but decided I didn’t have that kind of time.

    *sigh*

    What kind of moron does that?

  65. kendall

    found another one!

    now-know

    so….

    webslang-7
    misspellings-19

    total, 26

  66. Jenny

    Wow that guy can not spell at all. It’s horrible. I got 23, but I was never good at things like this.

  67. Arwen

    I got 23 spelling mistakes, bad grammer and slang words.
    I can’t believe this guy came back to the site to see if Kaleb had listened to his e-mail, why would anyone listen to an idiot like that?

  68. Casey

    21 mistakes. Of course, I usually get picky about punctuation. (Although I omitted the shorthand.)
    Honestly, how do you stand for this? It’s enough of a reward to see how many people support you, I suppose.
    Good luck with Twilight!

  69. Jenna

    I counted fourteen, not counting words that weren’t completely spelled out.

    (PS – I love this site, it’s nice to know that there are some guys out there reading Twilight!)

  70. Val

    If I’m correct, there are 14 spelling mistakes.

    By the way, I LOVE all your posts, you crack me up everyday Kaleb! keep up the good work :D

  71. Teresa

    wow, sounds like this guy is jealous that you have this amount of women fans looking at your site. geez, I wonder what his problem is? Well, at least he knows who Edward Cullen is and the book Twilight…ha ha. I’m glad you had the decency to cover up his vulgar comments…you are an Edward in my book Kaleb!

  72. Kristen

    Including all chat speak and the fact he spelled your name several times with a C instead of a K, I counted 17 mistakes.

    I think he’s just jealous, because he’s probably really ugly, and just about any girl who reads the book thinks that a fictional character is better than he is. Edward is a gentleman, and he can kick ass, all while being incredibly handsome and funny at the same time. He’s also about 10x smarter than our rude little piggy. In fact I think every male character in the whole Twilight series is probably 10x smarter than mr.piggy and judging by his ugly attitude, more handsome as well.

  73. Selene

    Just counting spelling mistakes (not grammar and not intentional abbreviations), I say 18.

  74. Meghan

    Including chatspeak and every other retarded mistake, I counted 24 mistakes…am I right?

  75. Kristin (K-Tread)

    I counted 31, including all punctuation mistakes, grammatical errors, and even your name.

    Last e-mail he sent, I was ready to fry me some bacon. This time I just want to kick this ass.

    There is no grounds to sue over putting an e-mail on a blog, especially when the name is all but removed, and there is no way to trace the person.

    And, GJ, my friend, Kaleb COULD, in fact, get a score more ladies than you. It’s a fact that women are repelled by stupidity and arrogance, two thing of which you reek.

    (Still addressed to GJ) Attacking Kaleb in the first place was entirely out of line and to threaten him after is just pathetic.

    Would you like me to dumb that down for you? You are an immature dumb-ass. Get over it.

    Kaleb, you are awesome. You DO have a fan-base of thousands, if not more, girls (and guys who also applaud your bravery) and GJ is obviously just insecure about himself. If he can’t compare to a FICTIONAL CHARACTER (yes, GJ, we know Edward Cullen isn’t real. That’s why it’s called FICTION!) then he is just a sad, sad little boy.

    My rant is over. Hope you enjoyed it.

    Kristin

  76. Nicole

    i’m pretty sure you can’t count the grammar mistakes, they are innumerable. somebody needs to teach him the proper structure of a sentence. i think he just needs a hug or a good swift kick in the…

  77. Taylor

    haha wow, what a freak. he really has issues, that’s all i can say. but his little ran did serve one purpose – it brightened one of the crappiest days of my life. so thanks, dude, you just got a laugh out of me!

    oh, and i counted like 14 mistakes i think? ha i lost count..

  78. Kristin (K-Tread)

    Oh and being friends with extreme feminists drives me to say: How dare you insult a woman’s creative ability in such a way. I’m referring to “No wonder a lady wrote it.” What is that supposed to mean? That women can’t write as well as men? Where to you get off saying something like that when you’re spelling and grammatical errors were so numerous, it was hard to understand your e-mail? Are you superior to Stephenie Meyer? I think not. Are you superior to any female authors? Hell no. Are you superior to most women in general? The consensus points due south (that means “no” if you couldn’t understand).

    So, therefore you have absolutely NO right to attack the work of a woman who makes more money than you will EVER pay in a strip club.

    I have to say my rant is officially over.

    Kristin

    P.S. Just for spelling mistakes, I counted 22.

  79. Nikki

    17 typos, 3 acronyms, 2 misspellings of your name, and 1 grammar mistake. Total of 23. Wonder if this is more or less than the last one… Either way this was also highly amusing!

  80. Sarah

    Okay, So I checked it in a little different way. Heres the key and once you see it, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out =)

    KEY
    (S)=Spelling error
    (A)=Acronym
    (!)=Punctuation mistake
    (T?)=Possible typo (I think the “TO” in there should be “SO”)
    (C)=Capitalization errors
    And, the whole thing is in caps… Which really it is hard not to laugh at this because it doesn’t look that threatening or serious to people who actually know how to spell….

    OKAY IDIOT, SO I COME BACK TO YOUR SITE TO SEE IF YOU’VE LEARNED ANYTHING OR LISTENED BUT (HEEHAW) YOUR(S) (HEEHAW) IS STILL HERE! AND YOU PUT MY (HEEHAW)ING EMAIL ON YOR(S) SITE!!! YOU KNOW I COUD(S) PROLLY(S) SUE YOU FOR THAT SINCE YOU DID NOT ASK TO PUT IT UP, IDIOT (HAW)ING (NEIGH).

    YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE(S) NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW(A) I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS(!) DESK YD(A) AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT, AND THERE WAS SOME (NEIGH) ABOUT EDWARD AND LIKE HIS SUPER HOT FACE AND OTHER CRAP. I WENT OMFG(A) AND WANTED TO RIP THE BOOK UP. IT IS JUST SO STUPID AND NO WONDER A LADY WROTE IT SINCE ANY GUY WHO ACTS LIKE EDWARD IS EITHER STUPID OR A (HEEHAW)ING MORON WITH NO (HEEHAW)S. YOU GO TELL ALL YOUR ‘(!)MILLIONS OF FANS” (yeah right to (name removed) like you caleb(S) has anywher(S) near, most of twilight(C) guy fans are proll y(S) guys cause calebs(S) a (HEEHAW) and i(C) get more girls than this (HEEHAW) caleb(S) guy) TO(T?) JUST GO ON DREAMING CAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS EDWARD (HEEHAW)ING CULLEN! AND THAT (name removed) GIRL WOULD PROLLY(S) BEG ME TO (HEEHAW) WIT(S) HER SO SHUT UP.

    SOO(S) IF YOU PUT THIS ON YOUR SITE I (HAWHEE)ING SWARE(S) I WILL SUE YOU!!! O(S) AND SO U(S) NOW(S) MY GF(A) CALLED WANTING ME BACK BUT I SAID (HAW) BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ(S) TWILIGHT IS A FREAK. THAT MEANS U(S) TOO KALEB (HEEHAW)ING TWILIGHTGUY(S) FREAKIN(S) PUNK(HAW) (HEEHAW)!

    So If I counted up all the spelling errors (S) correctly, it would be 21 (I could have mis-counted though).

    I don’t really think acronyms could be considered spelling errors, and you said to count the spelling errors, so I’m not including the punctuation or the capitalization errors. We gotta focus on spelling I suppose =)

    Oh, by the way, I think YD means yesterday.

    But yeah, to round it all up, this guy is pretty stupid. I seriously doubt that his girlfriend (or “GF”) called him back. Thats pretty stupid to break up with some one just because they like a book.

    So, a message to GJ: Good luck having a happy successful life.

    Kaleb, you’re awesome. And though this will sound like I’m writing in a year book, don’t ever change! ^^

  81. Laura

    I tried to count the mistakes, but there were just too many. Plus the number of grammatical mistakes. Yeah, the number would be too high to keep track of. But you are better than that Kaleb! You rock all of my freaking socks as well as all of my freinds socks! However, that number would be no where near as high as the mistakes GJ made, or the number of socks Michael WElsh probably now owns. It would be pretty funny to see if he actually tries to sue you, though.
    ~Laura

  82. Stephanie

    I got a total of 15 spelling mistakes…..someone’s a genius!!

  83. Anonymous

    Spelling mistakes? I counted just sole spelling mistakes which included chat speak or improper word emphasis which totaled 18.
    Grammar errors? I saw many which included tense misuse and punctuation deficits.
    Mental issues? I don’t think it’s really possible to count that, but a therapist could help.

  84. Chelsea

    I counted 17, but honestly, it’s so messed up, it’s hard to tell. I neglected a few netspeak terms and your name, though. Wah.

    I freaking love this. Keep doing what you’re doing, Kaleb, and thank you so much for putting this up. XD

  85. Collette

    1) “Coud” > “Could”
    2) “Prolly” > “Probably”
    3) [Grammar...Not sure if this counts, but I figured I'd note his mistake anyway] “Since” > “Because”
    4) “Bcause” > “Because”
    5) “Girls” > “Girl’s”
    6) “YD” > “Yesterday” (I assume?)
    7) [Grammar...again] “Since” > “Because”
    8) “Anywher” > “Anywhere”
    9) “Proll y” > “Probably”
    10) “Calebs” > “Caleb’s”
    11) “Prolly” > “Probably” (how many times does he need to misspell this word?)
    12) “Wit” > “With”
    13) “Soo” > “So”
    14) “Sware” > “Swear”
    15) “O” > “Oh,”
    16) “U” > “You”
    17) “GF” > “Girlfriend”
    18) “U” > “You”
    19) “Freakin” > “Freaking” or proper slang would be “Freakin’”

    Doesn’t this idiot have spell check on his email?

  86. Kim

    Wow. Talk about butchering the english language. Ignoring netspeak terms I counted 19 spelling errors. However, the whole e-mail is unsound in many other ways like grammatically, and mentally. Although, incrediably entertaining. ^^

  87. Savannah

    I counted 28 spelling misakes.

    What a dillweed.

  88. Andrea

    Goodness sakes! I didn’t know that it was possible to sound like such an idiot via e-mail twice in a row….He seriously needs an attitude adjustment. (and a mental health check)
    I counted 19 spelling errors, though if it were gramatical errors there would be a few more.

  89. Aurielle

    Since you said ‘spelling errors’, thats all I’m going to count. So all the grammar is going overlooked

    Yor = your
    coud = could
    prolly = probably
    bcause = because
    yd = ? yesterday?
    Caleb = Kaleb
    anywher = anywhere
    proll y = probably
    Caleb, again = Kaleb
    prolly = probably
    wit = with?
    sware = swear
    freakin = freaking

    So, about 13 or so, unless you count these and the other miscellaneous errors..

    U = you (x2)
    O = Oh
    OMFG

    But, towards the end, he spelled Kaleb correctly, hmm.

  90. Jennifer

    Wow, what an idiot. You know, this guy just proves that–especially in this situation–it’s the SMART guys who decide to pick up Twilight.

    At least he’s good for a laugh. And maybe a t-shirt.

    Paragraph #1
    “I COME BACK”—I came back…
    “COUD”—Could
    “PROLLY”—Probably…

    Total so far: 3

    Paragraph #2
    “BCAUSE”—Because…
    “BTW”—By the way…
    “GIRLS”—Girl’s… It changes the whole meaning of the word!
    “YD”—Yesterday…
    “OMFG”—Oh my (HEEHAW)ing gosh…
    “caleb”—Kaleb…
    “anywher”—Anywhere…
    “proll y”—Probably…
    “calebs”—Kaleb’s…
    “i”—I (yes, I consider this misspelled)…
    “caleb”—KALEB! *sigh*…
    “cause”—Because or ‘cause…
    “CAUSE”—Because or ‘cause…
    “PROLLY”—Probably…
    “WIT”—With…

    Total so far: 18

    Paragraph #3 (In the which he figures out how to spell your name…)
    “SOO”—So…
    “SWARE”—Swear…
    “O”—Oh…
    “U”—You…
    “NOW”—Know…
    “GF”—Girlfriend…
    “READ”—Reads
    “U”—You…
    “FREAKIN”—Freaking…

    Total: 27 (28 if you include Twilight Guy in one word as a misspelling! Even more if you include terrible grammar!)

    A bit CapsLock happy, isn’t he?

  91. Jennifer

    P.S.
    +++++
    “YOR”–Your (paragraph #1)

  92. Twifanatic Amanda

    Welll I think there are 13 spelling errors, but I was never very good with that. Haha this guy’s emails make me laugh, he is such a loser, what girl would want to (HEEHAW) with him

  93. Paola

    What a jerk, well at least we get a good laugh out this caveman. you keep on writing we love your site.

  94. Shannon

    There’s about 14 basic spelling mistakes and 17 mistakes total. Maybe in exchange for putting his message on here we could give him a copy of a online dictionary. ^_-

  95. Bethany

    It’s complete gibberish. I’m glad you decided to post it, though :)

  96. April

    Now it really… ticks me off to see ignorant people who haven’t read the book, bash it. It’s not just a book. It’s.. a life story. It teaches you these things you never knew about. This just goes to show that the gene pool is…not improving. Yet you, responding so intelligently, is solid proof that there are some guys using their noggins. =) Keep on posting, because I love to look at your stuff.

  97. Lauren

    I got 9.

    Kaleb you are absolutely hilarious! I love how you turn this idiotic situation into a joke :)

  98. Mekara

    You need a wall of shame, like mugglenet, if you keep getting these.

  99. Allie N.

    Wow. I’m surprised you actaully were able to decipher his heehaw-y rant. I honestly didn’t even try to interpret what he was saying, I did my best and I found 28. Anywho, it seems like somebody has jealousy problems with a fictional character…and that’s just sad. Don’t let these (teehee) heehaws get to your head, you are awesome, and HILARIOUS!!!! Keep up the good work, everytime you update you totally make my day!

  100. Michelle

    I hate dumb people haha. He deserves being posted and made fun of for being so ignorant. And if he really thinks that then why doesn’t he go ahead and stop coming to the site. Because that would make sense.

    Anyway I’m pretty sure I counted 13 mistakes counting a few grammar mistakes. I think I missed some though.

  101. Fallow

    How much do you want to bet that his parents beat him and locked him in dark rooms as a child? Honestly, I bet he never had a girlfriend to begin with.

  102. Katie Beth

    I counted 20 spelling errors, including weird abbreviations and slang (prolly, gf, yd, etc.). I counted three other errors (punctuation and capitalization). Good luck deciding which of us actually has the right answer you’re looking for. :-D

  103. Sarah (another one - shocking)

    The guy’s a total jerk, but very entertaining to read. Thanks for sharing Kaleb, that gave me a good laugh.

  104. CJ

    What an idiot. Some people need to get lives. If he’s so against Twilight and those who read it then why is he wasting his time sending you those messages, Kaleb? I wouldn’t be surprised if he secretly reads Twilight and just doesn’t want the rest of the world to know. lol. He needs professional help (not because of his Twilight addiction because then we’d all be in trouble, but because of his need for attention and his inability to at least attempt to spell correctly when he’s attempting to insult someone).

    Here are the mistakes I found, though I could be wrong on some of them because I’m tired as all get out right now (lol):

    1. Okay (even though I tend to spell it the same way it is actually not spelled that way) = OK.

    2. YOR = Your

    3. COUD = Could

    4. PROLLY = Probably

    5. BCAUSE = Because

    6. YD = I’m guessing this is suppose to be Yesterday though I’ve never seen anyone abbreviate it like that before.

    7. Caleb = I’m fairly certain your name is spelled with a K.

    8. anywher = Anywhere

    9. proll = Probably

    10. y = Why

    11. Calebs = Again…not a K in sight.

    12. i = Anyone with any sense of grammar should know that an I alone should be upper case. Sure people don’t always follow the rules of grammar on the net, but you should if you’re in the process of ridiculing someone by writing a very nasty, little letter to them.

    13. Caleb = Yet again. Do I need to explain?

    14. PROLLY = Probably

    15. WIT = With

    16. SOO = So

    17. SWARE = Swear

    18. O = Oh

    19. U = You

    20. NOW = Know

    21. GF = Girlfriend. This is not a technical misspelling considering it’s internet lingo, but just thought I’d point it out anyways.

    22. READ = Should be Reads in the sentence, “BECAUSE NOW I KNOW ANYBODY WHO READ TWILIGHT IS A FREAK.”

    23. U = You

    24. FREAKIN = Freaking

    This was fun correcting his mistakes. Perhaps someone should email him with all the corrections. :D I bet that’ll make him feel even more like a jackass.

  105. Annie

    Guys like GJ make girls want a guy like Edward even more. Unfortunately for us, most guys need to actually learn to read something longer than a sports article before they can read an actual book.
    Kaleb, are you sure you can’t pretend to send him an anit-twilight tee shirt and “accidentally” post the address?

  106. Lauren

    Wow, someone has a bad temper! I think his spelling is just sad, I counted 27 mistakes though. Am I right . . or even close?? I’m usually bad at spelling anyways, so if I’m way off you’ll know why!

  107. jordin

    I needed to read this thing like three times before I could even understand what he was trying to say. I mean what kind of idiot bashes the awesomest twilightguy/book/author/fictional character ever? Due to my lack of spelling skills i’m not even going to try to count his errors, but i’d just like to point out that my eight year old sister can spell better than him and she’s in second grade. I feel sorry for all the unforntunate girls who’ve had the displeasure of meeting GJ and his twilight hating, edward bashing, rudeness twoards kaleb, bad spelling self!

    keep bloging kaleb we love you!! *jordin*

  108. Desiree

    1. coud
    2. prolly
    3. bcause
    4. btw
    5. yd (?)
    6. omfg
    7. ‘” (unnecessary)
    8. celeb
    9. anywher
    10. proll y
    11. calebs
    12. caleb
    13. cause
    14. prolly
    15. wit
    16. soo
    17. sware
    18. o
    19. u
    20. now
    21. gf
    22. u
    23. freakin

    And don’t even get me started with punctuation.

    Kaleb… this guy is a douche. I love how you continually mock him.

    Keep up the good work! :)

  109. Arielle

    Yeah, I counted 15 mistakes. Wow, that was so painful, my eyes began to beg in protest as I read. Someone should ask this guy why he has checks out a Twilight related site, seeing as he hates it so much.

  110. Annalise

    I counted like 17 but I’m prolly (hahah probably) wrong

  111. Catherine

    Heh. That dude needs to get a life.

    It’s hard to believe that he had a girlfriend in the first place.

    As for the spelling mistakes, I’m not going to even bother counting them. ;) There are far too many. And there are more than just spelling mistakes, too.

  112. Brandon

    Wow, this guy really needs to relax. I mean if he is getting this worked up over a book (a great book mind you, I’m afraid to know what other everday things upsets him like this,lol.

    Anyway, on to more important thing, I counted roughly 20 mistakes in this.

    Geez, he should be more angry at his spelling then at a book,lol.

  113. Stephanie

    I found 15 errors not including grammatical errors, extra apotheoses (I hope I spelled that right), and some slang that my literature teacher uses…
    that guy needs a life…seriously. Maybe he’d like The Host better. I’m sure he’d just love Kyle…

  114. Kathryn G.

    I counted 27 spelling mistakes (3 of those being your name).

    I also tried to count all the punctuation and capitalization errors, but I quickly lost count (seeing as the whole thing was in “caps lock”.)

    It seems our GJ is not the brightest crayon in the box.

    Don’t let him get to you. If it makes you feel any better, he “prolly” can’t heeehawing understand any of the words you say. Idiots don’t have very high vocabularies, you see.

    I love you, and don’t stop reading!

  115. tahnimichelle

    bahaha. thats funny. he’s just jealous. haha.

    and i am guessing 19 misspellings. but i really don’t know. haha.

  116. Vamp :}

    Obviously this guy has the ego problems. I can see him as one of those movie portrayed football jocks that is too worried about there image to actually think for a moment.

    So go Kaleb for not being an egotistical “GJ”

  117. Amber

    Wow is this guy a jerk. I just don’t understand the people that go out of their way to tear down books or movies or whatever. If you hate it so much, stop wasting your time going on fansites and harassing the fans! Jeez.

    Anyway here’s how I broke up the spelling mistakes:

    I counted 12 general mistakes not including any of the slang or causal shortenings of words.
    coud-could
    bcause-because
    anywher-anywhere
    proll y-probably (it’s sad he couldn’t even spell the abbreviated slang right)
    caleb(x3 including the calebs)
    wit-with
    soo-so
    sware-swear
    now-know
    freakin-freaking

    Then 11 slang and shortened words. This includes using:
    prolly (x2)
    cause (x2)
    yd (which to my best guess is ‘yesterday’)
    btw
    omfg
    o
    u (x2)
    gf

    And finally I’m going to throw in 5 spelling errors due to bad grammer. So 2 for forgotten apostrophes (girl’s and Caleb’s), no hypen in email, incorrect tense (read=reads), and writing TwilightGuy as one word.

    So that’s a grand total of 28 including all the errors.

  118. Tina

    Some guys will never learn…As my sister would say he’s a few fries short of a happy meal :D

  119. patrice

    I counted 28 spelling mistakes.

    I laughed so hard when I read this. What a complete and total moron. It must be tiresome being subjected to this kind of idiocy.

  120. Nicole

    Including “text talk,” capitalization errors, problems with punctuation, spelling your name wrong, using different quotations (‘ and “) I found 25.

  121. Nicole

    I found another one: so 26.

  122. Karen

    That was quite entertaining! He turned from a pig to a donkey *laughs*.

    Well just strictly counting spelling mistakes I got 20. Haha it was worth a try!

  123. Maritza

    i think i seriously have a crush on the twilight guy :D

  124. Karen

    Oh and maybe…*He shud uze speel chick nest thyme* haha!

  125. Jules

    21, I believe. But if you count GRAMMAR mistakes, it is many, many, many more. I wonder if he realizes just how much girls love Twilight. If he acted like he actually was the least bit interested in the series, the guy would most likely get his first girlfriend. :D

  126. Katie ~

    I count 23 spelling mistakes, not counting any words twice because there were two errors in it.

    I think it should be rounded up to 24, because he said he could “get” more girls than you. Girls are not to be “gotten”.

    And why don’t we add on another mistake, because he mispelled your name two different ways – “caleb,” and “idiot.”

    Adding those on, I think there should be 25 mistakes.

    You’re an awesome guy, Kaleb. Don’t ever let this idiot get to you. I’m glad that you posted this horrible e-mail, because look at how many people support you: I am number 117. That should show our GJ that he’s in the minority.

  127. Katie ~

    Correction – I’m number 126. People even commented in the time I took to type my comment!

  128. Dani

    I can`t stop laughing. This guy is a looser.

    He doesn`t even know how to write. You don`t listen to him.

    I`m really proud of you and this web site. The fact that you are not afraid to tell the world you are reading Twilight is amazing??

    Is he going to sue you?? What a moron.

  129. Rachael

    I found 20. I counted abbreviations such as OMFG and GF because they are not proper English.
    1. Prolly
    2. Bcause
    3. BTW
    4. YD
    5. OMFG
    6. Caleb
    7. anywher
    8. proll y
    9. cause (needs a ‘ before it)
    10. caleb
    11. prolly (again)
    12. wit
    13. soo
    14. sware
    15. o
    16. u
    17. GF
    18. Real (need an s)
    19. V
    20. freakin (needs ‘ after it)

  130. Brittany

    I counted 23.
    What a Idiot. He seems like a jerk and I don’t know why any girl would like someone like that. I HIGHLY doubt that his girlfriend called him. I hate guys like him.

  131. Diana

    I counted 17 including the mispellings of your name. I didn’t factor out chatspeak.

    What an idiot, I really doubt that he has a girlfriend either. No girl would be that stupid, especially if she’s read Twilight =)

  132. Orietta Rose

    Is this guy being serious or what? ‘Cuse if he is he’s an idiot*. Really. I don’t know how he has a girlfriend.

    Yeah, anyway, forget him. He’s a closed-minded teenage boy with a hormonal imbalance.

    He is starting to get on my nerves though…GO KALEB!!!

    *Just for info: Idiot- a person of the lowest order in a former classification of mental retardation, having a mental age of less than three years old and an intelligence quotient under 25.

  133. Brie

    I found 27 mistakes.

    Wow, this guy is an idiot!

  134. Tracy

    I found 23. That guy is really unbelievable.

  135. Jessica

    Hey Kaleb!

    I counted 18 spelling mistakes…

    1. Prolly
    2. Bcause
    3. Girls
    4. YD
    5. Caleb
    6. proll y
    7. cause
    8. calebs
    9. caleb
    10. wit
    11. soo
    12. sware
    13. o
    14. U
    15. Now
    16. Read
    17. U
    18. Freakin

    well, i think i may have lost some brain cells reading your post….but counting the errors did make me feel better. :D

    ~jess

  136. anonymous

    omg!!!!!!!!!!! kaleb, why the hell would u want give that peice of **** a t-shirt? how can you be soooo calm?u dont care wat he says, every 1 admires u, so keep reading!! u have my best wishes! good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  137. Mara-Kate

    1) yor
    2) coud
    3) prolly
    4) bcause
    5) btw
    6) girls (instead of girl’s)
    7) yd
    8) omfg
    9) caleb
    10) anywher
    11) proll y
    12) calebs
    13) i
    14) caleb
    15) prolly
    16) wit
    17) soo
    18) sware
    19) o
    20) u
    21) now (instead of know)
    22) gf
    23) u
    24) freakin

    Okay, so I had an assignment to critique an incorrect piece of writing on the internet so thank you Kaleb for posting this, my english homework is done! That’s everything I counted and that’s including the netspeak so even if I don’t win its okay lol and I’m sure his ex wouldn’t have called him, i really hope some girl he wants rejects him and he learns he’s not all that great! I hate guys with big egos! Keep posting Kaleb I love your website! :)

  138. lesley

    i found 18 mispelled words in this pitiful letter. I just think it’s so funny that this guy is letting something like this get to him. can you say anger management? lmao, some guys WILL NEVER learn,

  139. Helen

    Wow..What a jerk. I bet he’s a closet Twilight fan and terribly ashamed of it because some other jerk called him out on it. I personally think more guys need to read Twilight. I finally convinced one of my guy friends to read it and he loves it.

    Anyways, I found nine spelling errors, six ‘netspeak’ abbreviations that shouldn’t have been used, some of which should probably count as spelling errors, one sexist remark that makes me want to castrate this *heehaw*, and you should probably count the whole message as a huge grammatical error because it was in all caps.

    Did I get it right?

    xo
    Helen

  140. Ashley

    Wow. It’s people like him who make me lose faith in the human race. Oh, and you’ve got to love how he says:
    YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS DESK YD AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT
    He calls guys names for picking it up- not reading it, just picking it up- and yet he does the same thing.
    Hypocrisy much? *head desk*
    Any guy that reads Twilight rocks and people like this jerk are just ignorant fools who really need to find better ways to spend their time.

  141. Kassie

    I got 30 with chat speak and 26 without.

    Rawr! I’m probably wrong but it’s worth a shot right? Anyways, he just admitted he opened Twilight and read some. Why would he have opened it if he wasn’t curious? Uh huh. My point exactly. He’s totally a closet Twilighter.

  142. Naomi

    So he thinks that people who read twilight are freaks and I’m guessing that his girlfriend read it. I’m pretty sure that almost every girl has read twilight which means that he’s never going to get a girlfriend since he thinks we’re all freaks.

    spelling mistakes:
    1. yor
    2. coud
    3. prolly
    4. bcause
    5. btw
    7. yd
    8. omfg
    10. anywher
    11. proll y (again)
    12. to (i think it should be ‘so’?)
    13. cause
    14. prolly (again)
    15. wit
    16. soo
    17. sware
    18. o
    19. u
    20. now (should it be ‘know’?)
    21. gf
    22. u (again)
    23. freakin

    grammar mistakes:
    1. girls (missing an apostrophe)
    2. ‘millions of fans” (single quotation in the beginning and double at the end)

    not to mention he spelled your name wrong 3 times.

    and he said that Edward is stupid!!

  143. Grace

    If this guy refuses to date any girl who reads Twilight then he’s gonna have a very hard time finding a date. Practically every girl I know is in love with the book.

    …his loss

  144. A!m31a

    Wow… Just wow… Can I rewrite this entire paragraph??? It has my analytical notes included…

    “Okay idiot, so I came (past tense!) back to your site to see if you’ve learned anything or listened, (comma!) but (heehaw) your (heehaw) is still here! And you put my (heehaw)ing e-mail (hyphen) on your site!!! You know I could (spelling!) probably (slang-ish?) sue you for that since you did not ask to put it up, idiot (haw)ing (neigh).
    You must be a (heehaw) or something, (comma!) because no guy would pick up this (snort)ing (heehaw). (Run on sentence, needs a period, not a comma!) By the way (Please don’t use acronyms when typing an e-mail, this is not a chat message.) I saw it on some girl’s (possessive) desk yesterday (again with the acronyms!) and so I picked it up and just opened it, and there was some (neigh) about Edward and, like, (commas around the word “like” makes it more grammatically correct) his super hot face and other crap. I went Oh my (bleep)ing (Lord’s name in vain) (AGAIN with the acronyms! And so much swearing connotation…) and wanted to rip the book up. It is just so stupid and no wonder a lady wrote it since any guy who acts like Edward is either stupid or a (heehaw)ing moron with no (heehaw)s. You go tell all your “(quotations, not apostrophe) millions of fans” (Yeah (capitalize, please, this is a complete sentence, or would be if it was grammatically correct.) right to (name removed), (comma!) like (I’m not sure what he’s saying here… “your Kaleb”? “You, Kaleb”? Either way… it’s wrong, I’m counting it as bad spelling.) your Kaleb (name misspelled) has anywhere (misspelled) near. (That’s the end of a sentence. It needs a period.) Most (capitalize) (no “of”) twilight guy fans are probably (slang-ish? AND misspelled at that) guys ‘cause (needs an apostrophe when you shorten the word) Kaleb’s (again, misspelled name AND no apostrophe for the contraction of “Kaleb is”) a (heehaw) and I (capitalization of a proper noun, though I don’t know if we should call him “proper” per se…) get more girls than this (heehaw) Kaleb (misspelled name) guy.) So (To? What?) just go on dreaming ‘cause (again, shortening the word needs an apostrophe) there is no such thing as Edward (heehaw)ing Cullen! And that (name removed) girl would probably (again, slang-ish?) beg me to (heehaw) with (misspelling) her, (comma) so shut up.
    So (misspelling) if you put this up on your site, (comma) I (heehaw)ing swear (misspelling) I will sue you!!! Oh (acronym) and so you (acronym) know (misspelling), (comma) my girlfriend (acronyms!) called, (comma) wanting me back, (either period or comma) but I said (haw) because now I know anybody who reads (misspelling) Twilight is a freak. That means you (acronym!) too, (comma) Kaleb (heehaw)ing Twilight Guy (two words AND capitalized) freaking punk(haw) (heehaw)!”

    Like I already said… Wow…
    Eventually I came up with a total of:
    3 misspellings of Kaleb’s name
    24 grammatical errors
    3 slang terms that should not be used
    11 spelling errors AND
    7 acronyms that should not be used in an e-mail.

    This gives us a grand total of 48 errors from our dear friend, Mr. GJ, who should not be wasting his pathetic time writing horrible e-mails about a topic that people love. We don’t go find something he’s a fan of and mock it, now do we?
    Thanks Kaleb! We love you!

  145. Naomi

    oops sorry in my post above i forgot to change the numbers. so thats actually 21 spelling mistakes.

  146. Shelby

    i am really thimpressed with this guys will-power. he is very bothered by this novel and e impact it has. it’s okay buddy. you can cry if you want to. keep on trouping and developing an even unhealthier obsession than us twilighters. High Five GJ!!!! (that was complete sarcasm by the way ;D )

    i counted about 16 mistakes. i didnt focus on the punctuation or all of the ‘U’ instead of ‘you’ or ‘O’ instead of ‘oh’ or ‘WTF.’

    if he keeps sending letters PLEASE post them. they make me laugh!

    ~S~
    ~S~

  147. Katie

    Hmmm. Well, it would be easier to re-write his whole paragraph. I might not get every detail correct because I’m a sophomore in high school, so I still have much to learn. But hey, I’ll try.

    So, here goes!

    Hello again, Kaleb.

    I came back to your site to see if you’d learned anything or listened, but you did not. The site was still here, and you had posted my e-mail! You know, I could probably sue you for that since you did not ask to put it up.

    You must be an idiot or something, because no guy would pick up this book. By the way, I saw the book on some girl’s desk yesterday. I picked it up and opened it to a random page, and written there was a description of Edward and his extremely attractive features, along with other claims I did not believe. I thought to myself, “Oh my freaking goodness!” and wanted to rip the book up. It is just so stupid. No wonder a lady wrote it, since any guy who acts like Edward is either stupid or a moron with no masculinity [how does that support that a lady wrote it??]. Go tell all of your “millions of fans”—yeah, right. Like you, Kaleb, have anywhere near that amount of fangirls. Most of the Twilight Guy’s fans are probably guys, because you are a [swear], and I’m going to not make sense right here, claiming that I have more fangirls than you, which doesn‘t support my argument at all— to keep dreaming because Edward Cullen does not exist in real life! [This next line also does not make sense or support his argument at all, so it has been omitted.]

    If you post this on your blog, I swear I will sue you! Just so you know, my girlfriend called me and wanted to get back together. I declined because I now know that anyone who reads Twilight is a freak, and that includes you, Kaleb, the Twilight Guy.

    GJ

    That’s a bit better. :D

    While I was looking up whether “OK” or “Okay” is correct, I came across this interesting tidbit I thought I’d share on dictionary.com, under an entry for “OK”:

    “During the 1830s there was a humoristic fashion in Boston newspapers to reduce a phrase to initials and supply an explanation in parentheses. Sometimes the abbreviations were misspelled to add to the humor. OK was used in March 1839 as an abbreviation for all correct, the joke being that neither the O nor the K was correct. Originally spelled with periods, this term outlived most similar abbreviations owing to its use in President Martin Van Buren’s 1840 campaign for reelection. Because he was born in Kinderhook, New York, Van Buren was nicknamed Old Kinderhook, and the abbreviation proved eminently suitable for political slogans. That same year, an editorial referring to the receipt of a pin with the slogan O.K. had this comment: “frightful letters … significant of the birth-place of Martin Van Buren, old Kinderhook, as also the rallying word of the Democracy of the late election, ‘all correct’ …. Those who wear them should bear in mind that it will require their most strenuous exertions … to make all things O.K.”"

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/okay

    So I hope that now the spelling and grammar mistakes in GJ’s letter are “OK.” :D Too bad his content never will be. Though one day, I bet his curiousity will get the best of him and he’ll crack and read the books. If he doesn’t though, well, his loss! He’ll have to learn what girls fall for another way.

    I suppose i should take a stab at the number of his spelling mistakes.

    16 regular mistakes + misspelling your name wrong 3 times + “OKAY” + “EMAIL” [I think it should have a hyphen because it is an abbriviation for "electronic mail"] + “BTW” + “YD” + “OMFG” + “i” + “O” + “U” + “GF” + “READ” + “U” + “TWILIGHTGUY” =

    A grand total of 31! Plus countless errors in grammar, punctuation, and of course, content! :D

    So have fun sorting through all of these comments and picking a winner! Good luck everyone else!

  148. Ivy

    wow! this guy really doesnt have a life cus aparently all he can talk about is the book that he hates with all of his soul! Makes no sense y he is even spending time on a thing he hates. lol Wait…..he should keep this on cus it just makes the millions of people on this site laugh more and more!!! hahaha

  149. KKKmart

    omg i cannot believe somene would write that to you that’s so awful. keep reading and dont let that bug you i agree with one of the earlier posts, i’m disgusted to be in the same species as that that meanie! PS: TWILIGHT RULES! EDWARD IS REAL! AND BEST OF ALL A SNEAK PEEK OF BREAKING DOG HAS BEEN REVEALED!

  150. Victoria

    I counted 23 and have listed them below (I excluded GF and OMFG but included YD because I have never heard of it)

    1)COME = Came
    2)YOR = Your
    3)COUD = could
    4)PROLLY = probably
    5)BCAUSE = because
    6)GIRLS = girl’s
    7)YD = yesterday?
    8)caleb = Kaleb
    9)anywher = anywhere
    10)proll y = probably
    11)calebs = Kaleb’s
    12)caleb = Kaleb
    13)CAUSE = because
    14)PROLLY = probably
    15)WIT = with
    16)SOO = so
    17)SWARE = swear
    18)O = oh
    19)U = you
    20)NOW = know
    21)READ = reads
    22)U = you
    23)FREAKIN =freaking

  151. Amber

    Hmmm I have to change my count to 29. Forgot the “yor” misspelling. I knew I had 29 the first time I counted but then I couldn’t make it work again. Whoops. It’s been bugging me feeling like I missed something. haha

  152. ashley

    i think he is mad because he cant read and you can and it fustraits him to know that girls like a man to be intelligent, literate and a vampire!

  153. Alice G

    Heheh, perhaps this boy has had a bad experience? For example, a girlfriend who said he isn’t as good as Edward. Or perhaps, she said, “you should try to be more like Edward”. Well I can’t be certain. Kaleb, you are just awesome. Ah, yes.

  154. Alice G

    (I, by no means, am siding with that very rude boy)

  155. Emma

    …He can’t even spell your name…
    God, at least research your facts before ranting. Girls pick this book up because they want to meet a gentleman, beings that are far and few in this modern world. Evidently, his jaded rules on women and novels will never get him a lasting relationship. Worst of all, he actually bothers to rant at you! You, an actual author and part-time Twilighter. Doesn’t he have better things to do? We come here because we want to know your reactions to the things SM has written!
    Therefore, Kaleb Nation, I salute you. Let this imbecilic moron never email you again.

    (I wonder if he’s ever looked at the comments on the blogs?)

  156. Aidyn

    I almost feel bad for the poor fellow. ALMOST. He’s threatened by Edward. He feels insecure. (Why on earth else would he mention how many “(heehaw)ing girls” he could get?) What a potty mouth. I would like to apologize FOR him. I’m sorry this world is filled with stupid people.
    What I would like to know is how he even found this site if he hates Twilight so much? Does he have nothing to do but fill your inbox with misspellings and gramatical errors? Honestly. How exceedingly irksome.

  157. Andrea

    I counted 18 mistakes! I want that twilight tee! I love you twilight guy…you make me laugh and if a guy like Edward cullen came up to me I’d take him instead of a pompus idoit like that one guy!

  158. Phoebe

    Well, I counted a total of 26 mistakes, including some of the shorthand chat-speak stuff. Plus, I might have added on one or two, because, of course, I don’t like him. And the fact that he actually keeps coming back is proof that his girlfriend did not, in fact call him back, and there isn’t anyone else. Otherwise he’d have something better to do. =D

  159. Travis

    I say 23

  160. Hope

    Ew. He makes me heave.

    Why does he keep leaving you stupid, unprofessional emails? How immature!

    By the way, Kaleb, do you want us to count spelling and grammar mistakes (that includes punctuation and chatspeak) or just spelling? Just want to make sure I’m doing this correctly… I want a t-shirt! :D

    YOU ROCK, KALEB!

  161. Aleash

    I read his e-mail, and I found twenty-eight errors. Even if he did use spell check, which by the way doesn’t check everything correctly, it would still be a major improvment. All caps lock means he is yelling virtually, and there is no reason for a mature person to do so. I guess that means he is not mature! :)

    Also, does anyone know the song “Online” by Brad Paisley? “‘Cause online I’m out in Hollywood I’m six foot five and I look damn good
    I drive a Maserati, I’m a black belt in karate And I love a good glass of wine It turns girls on that I’m mysterious I tell ‘em I don’t want nothing serious
    “‘Cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way chat With two women at one time.
    “I’m so much cooler online.”

    Virtual high five Orietta Rose for giving us the definition of the term idiot! GJ is deninitly is an idiot.

    Let’s see how mad GJ will get if we insult him in a Twilight mannor! He would make an extremely ugly vampire, with no powers, that would be taken down by the Volturi because he would expose himself as a vampire within his first five days after transformation. lol

  162. McKenna

    i got 13.

  163. Ashleigh

    Um…wow. I didn’t know so much stupidity could be crammed into one 3-paragraph note. I’m sure he was Valedictorian in high school.

    Mistake count: 25 (without the neighs and snorts)

    I’m not sure what this guy’s deal is, but does he really need to use all caps? The terrible grammar is enough to get across the image of a (heehaw)ing (neigh).

  164. Mirela

    WOW. This guy (and I use that term loosely) needs to shut it. Gosh, talk about ignorance!

    Thank you so much Kaleb for posting this, I can’t get over how funny it is. I just can’t.

    I hope he visits again! I’d get a kick out of that. Okay, now I’m glad that this guy is so much of a idiot, I mean really, how else can I laugh this hard?

    =)

    THANKS WHOEVER YOU ARE! YOUR STUPIDITY IS EXCRUCIATINGLY HILARIOUS!

  165. illium

    Oh my, what a hunk. We girls just fall for that type. Nice choice of grammar, approximately one brain cell and some testosteron issues. Yum. Makes me want to use violence and smash some of his… stuff from the euphoria.
    And he actually believed you wouldn’t post this? Hah.
    Thumbs up for you Kaleb.

  166. alex

    So I counted only 11 spelling mistakes and I am most likely wrong, even though I am usually really good at spelling. I probably skipped some that I didn’t think counted, but anyways… That guy is really stupid and he is only posting that so people will know who he is. But good for you for not letting it get to you, Kaleb, because he just is not worth it.

  167. Morgan A.

    This guy is such a loser

    But truthfully i think he’s hilarious! I get a good laugh reading his messages to you.

    I think I got 23, but more people did before me so they deserve the T-shirt xD

    I would like to see the grade he’s getting in English. His hallow threats are pretty sad, too.

  168. Jen

    So I’ve got 17 mistakes. This guy needs an English course.

  169. Monica

    I counted 11 spelling mistakes and 6 abbreviations (O is an alternate spelling of Oh), making that 17 mistakes total. I’m a fan and my friends are reading over my shoulders right now, so please send us a single shirt and we’ll share it. :) (We’re not greedy like the female fan who’s pretending to be an ass. Come on, what male student says “like”, even in my native California?)
    ~M&C&K <3

  170. Erin

    Kaleb, I salute you for being able to put up with this GJ guy. These sort of hate mails can be extremely hilarious and entertaining, however, they can get to the point of frustrating and annoying. Good to see that you’re not letting it get to you and are able to just laugh about it.

    Besides, you are, in one simple word, amazing. No “idiot (haw)ing (neigh)” can downsize that. :)

    Oh, and I counted about twenty-three mistakes. This includes, grammar, spelling, your name misspelled as “Caleb”, slang and chat speak. Along with one count against his use of all caps… I think the “heehaws” got his point across just fine.

  171. Katie

    I counted 16 mistakes.
    Not sure what counts as slang or spelling though.

  172. Danielle

    What a deuche bag….does he not have a life?? He must seriously care about your opinion b/c he keeps writing you. lol he secretly likes Twilight :o ) He’s just not a man enough to admit it. ha!

    I counted 26 mistakes, including btw and such. :o )

  173. Becky

    another funny post from GJ

    i counted 16 spelling errors, but that’s not including chat speak, or the many grammer errors in it and since my comment is like, th 200th one i’m sure someone before has already gotten it correct.

    I think it’s great that you don’t let one mean person like this guy get to you and that you can laugh about it. I for one think you’re site is great, and clearly ‘GJ’ needs to learn some tips from Edward Cullen about how to act.

  174. Anabel

    … Wow. My ex-boyfriend likes the Twilight series, but we broke up a while before I forced him to read it. 8D
    This guy obviously doesn’t understand that he fails at life majorly.

    I counted 16 mistakes.

  175. Melanie

    He hates the book, your site, and everything you stand for (apparently), and yet he checks BACK to see what you’ve done?
    Did he honestly thing all the oinking would.. what, scare you into submission?
    Whata bunch of crap. He’s just a know-nothing ignorant guy. Who can’t spell. And really needs a thesaurus. I could barely understand what he was writing, with all those pesky errors.

    He does make me laugh.. though, it’s more AT than with. I mean, he really should read those Twilight Guys stories. How about the one where the guy actually gets closer to a girl he likes, in part due to Twilight? So, obviously, something’s working. And I’m sorry to the person (whoever it was) that he insulted. That’s what people like him do, I guess -insult when they get uncomfortable.

    Anyway, thanks, Kaleb, for continuing to read this book, despite all (futile) efforts to get you to stop! :]

  176. Mandy

    He’s just jealous. =)

    I’m sure there’s around 30 mistakes.

  177. Kelci Holten

    OK, here’s my count:
    1. yor = your
    2. coud = could
    3. prolly = probably
    4. bcause = because
    5. btw = by the way (LAZY)
    6. girls = girl’s
    7. yd = yesterday
    8. omfg = oh my fuzzy gloves
    9. anywher = anywhere
    10. proll y = probably
    11. calebs = Kaleb’s
    12. i = I
    13. wit = with
    14. soo = so
    15. sware = swear
    16. o = oh
    17. u = you
    18. gf = girlfriend
    19. u = you

    So, NINETEEN.

    And that’s so not true about having more guy fans. You’ve got me and about 20 other girls and guys who have read it! Your site helps me influence boys at my school to read Twilight. There’s an unspoken contest between me and this other girl about who can get more. She’s winning: 3 to 1.

    Might I also mention that if I ever meet a guy with the initials G.J. I will be immediately suspicious and bring up the book Twilight. He should know that he has now angered the Twihards. That about as bad as throwing a rock at a beehive.

    Prepare to be stung. =]

  178. Natalie

    Wow.
    That is absolutely rude, yet hilarious.
    How about instead of correcting the spelling, I rewrite the whole thing over, into something he SHOULD say. Like:
    “Oh, well, Kaleb, I think this is neat thing what you’re doing, but I don’t necessarily like it, so I’ll stop visiting this site and make myself look like a moron.”
    :)

  179. Tina

    Oh my goodness, that was sooOOooO entertaining!!! I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing and scare my family!! This guy is so stupid and rediculous! I love your counting mistakes idea, that made me laugh too. I won’t attempt it, because I am a terrible speller…. lol keep postin’!

  180. Rachel

    Urgh does that count chat speak too?
    (I included chat speak, because for me that counts as incorrect spelling)
    20 spelling mistakes.
    Without chat speak errors:
    16 Roughly.

    And that is really hilarious, too. You see these almost everywhere and you can’t help but crack up at the sight of it. I mean, really, how stupid and meatheaded can you get?

    Maybe they crunched TOO many cans on their foreheads. That would explain the lack of brain cells.

  181. Ash

    I counted 16. What a retard!!! You rock
    Kaleb. Snaps for Kaleb ^^

  182. Lindsay

    I think he just want attention. I counted 16 spelling mistakes, wow, he is a genius! *sense the sarcasm* I can’t help but be entertained by him, and that ‘editing’…

  183. Annie

    Wow….This guy is an idiot. i counted 14 mistakes which includes abbreviations and some punctuation errors.

    I feel really bad for GJ though. He has so much hate in him and this is the only way to vent out his anger. I also think that he is really jealous of you and how popular you are.

    He really should get a life and grow up. He is acting so immature and a hypocrite. If he hates Twilight so much, why doesn’t he just stay away from anything related to it? He is sooo DUMB!

    Plus, he just angered millions of fans of this book which is not good.

  184. Victoria

    hes just asking for attention. does this guy have nothing better to do? he was probably the one asking his girl friend to come back to him not the other way around. i know guys who talk like that, like they are hot stuff and that they can get any girl they want and that all other guys are losers. all of them are lonely good for nothing posers who dont get any. he makes it more than obvious. he’s just jealous. we should all ignore him. giving him this attention is what he wants. and it only makes a person more of a loser when they force curse words. its much cooler to make up your own words. “holy crow!” haha. yeah. id say we all just ignore this punk. all in favor say I.

  185. bookgirlluvstwilight

    That guy spells worse than a 1st grader. I’m ok at spelling, so I’m not going to try. Who doesn’t like Twilight! I don’t believe the part about the girlfriend. If the guy had ripped up that girls copy of Twilight there would have been a murder in the class room. That guy is an IDIOT! I would be so mad and insulted if I were you. Everyone has a wright(I think thats the right way to spell it) to their own opinion, but you can keep it to your self. Oh, and there was no need for him to swear so much!
    stevie was here:)

  186. bookgirlluvstwilight

    Correction on the part. I mean I’m not going to try to count the spelling errors.

  187. viviana

    I think I caught nine mistakes, but I don’t know if I should include the fact that he spelled your name wrong a couple of times.

  188. Katie of "Team Twilighter"

    Oh my good gracious, that GJ guy is a nutcase!
    I love you, Kaleb! Don’t let haters like that fruitcake get you down. He obviously doesn’t understand the art of the Twilight Series and how freakishly amazing Stephenie Meyer is. And how amazing you are. =]
    Kaleb=awesome.
    GJ=poor, unfortunate soul.
    <3 Katie

  189. Kimberley

    Made me laugh. I found about 24 or 25 spelling mistakes without grammar. With the grammar mistakes, including his lack of knowledge with a comma, it would be even more.
    Just tell the guy– I don’t care what his name is– that you actually have future, while he belongs in a petting zoo. Although, he would probably scare away the children with his nasty nieghs.
    Any guy who resorts to swearing for intimidation, just makes me laugh. How could he think that it will scare you?
    I feel sorry for his ex-girlfriend, being lied about like that. Fight the power girl! You’ll meet your Edward. You wait and see!
    ~Kim

  190. Jojo

    It amuses me greatly that there were a little less than twenty spelling mistakes. Adding grammar and punctuation, that’s over twenty. Then the use of run-on sentences…it adds up to ‘idiot’.

    Here’s my advice: whenever any Twilight fans are feeling sad or stupid, they should come to this site and read GJ’s emails. Because of this, they will feel much better about themselves and their intellect levels.

    The best part is that nobody could take this seriously: instead of acting as a threat, this guy is acting like an idiot. Does he even realize that when you insult somebody with spelling problems, all they do is laugh? If they read the 188 comments so far, he will realize that.

    I feel sorry for his girlfriend.

  191. Marissa

    don’t you just love how he still takes the time to check up on the site? haha what a beast

  192. Melaine

    I counted 15 not including “text speak” and including a missing apostrophe. It’s a FANTASY series. That’s what makes it fun. This guy needs to majorly lighten up!

  193. Amanda S

    This guy is something else. Maybe he’s just jealous of Edward? Who knows, but he’s coming off as the idiot here. Get a clue, whoever you are.

    And is 18 errors right?

  194. Julie!!

    I counted like 20 or so mistakes, but this guy is an arrogant jerk. I would never date him gosh, what a douche bag.

  195. Jessie

    Including when he misspelled your name, I counted 13.

    Geez, how stupid can one person get? Seriously, people who cuss like that just prove to everyone around them how unintelligent they are. If you can’t think of something better then ‘f’ to say all the time, then he seriously needs to be reprogrammed. I feel sorry for anyone who has to be around that jerk.

  196. glitterSKin

    What a piece of work!!! This guy needs to get a hobby or maybe take a couple extra English courses. PA-THE-TIC!!!

    Doesn’t he know that every woman wants her man to act just like Edward? GJ has so much to learn, poor little lamb. >;o) We should really be feeling sorry for him.

    Be that as it may, I counted 29 mistakes — including web speak, because it’s just ugly.

    Keep up the hard work, Kaleb (as if reading Twilight is hard)!!!

  197. Rachel

    wow Kaleb! All I can say is good for you for ignoring this huge Jerk!!! I’m glad you didn’t let him get to you and actually made a joke out of this! You are 5 billion times better and cooler than he is so there! haha, k I’m done with my little rant!
    And if he stopped making fun of Edward and actually started learning from him, he wouldn’t be the sorry end of a joke he is now!

  198. Nancy

    Well, I count 19 spelling mistakes (including your name several times). This, of course, does not include the appalling grammar, acronyms, or the HEEHAWing!
    Very sad that this guy is so uncomfortable with himself that he feels the need to lash out at you. However, I suppose that’s one of the hazards of blogging about anything.
    Anyway, I love to read your thoughts. Keep them coming please!

  199. Meilyng

    omg….that is hilarious, i mean the guy spells Kaleb right the first time, other times…not so much……..

    one of the girls is right…he doesn’t need to read twilight….he needs to read a dictionary….

    w/o counting the BTW, OMFG or GF I’d say (and it’s a shot in the dark because I can’t spell) 18…..

  200. April

    I think everyone above has probably filled in the numbers. One of these people has to get it right. So all im going to say is that if this GF guy is such a jerk, i would RATHER take a fictional character (Edward) than someone like him. Im serious. Totally Serious. And you should tell him to come back and wrtie back again when he can actually type and think at the same time. I HATE STUPID UGLY GF GUY!!! AND GUYS LIKE THEM!! im not saying that all people have to love twilight, im just asking for them to keep their opinions to themselves if they are going to say something rude. Thats all… for now.

  201. colleen

    14 spelling mistakes

  202. April

    Sorry i had a few typos myself. I guess that i was in a hurry to get my thoughts out there.

  203. April

    Back again…. Well I just wanted to let you know Kaleb, if you ever come on here and read the comments, that I’m glad that you don’t take this guy seriously. And I’m glad that you don’t freak out over some stupid guy.

  204. Debbie

    How sad this guy must be. He needs to take a lesson from Edward and not be such a jerk. My guess on typo errors is 12.

  205. Jody

    -_-; Wow… uhm… yeah… How anyone could really care for this guy, I have no idea. I wonder if anyone, any Twilighter, who knows this guy in life reads this blog… That would be rather interesting. Sigh.

  206. Emmi

    wow…….he seriously needs a life!!!
    if i were you i would be really annoyed… by the way i get mad easily, so…i don’t even know what i would do to him =]

    but thats confusing too bc wouldn’t caps bc counted wrong too?
    so i’ll say there like 265 lol
    and if those don’t count then 23
    haha sry if this is confusing

  207. Jody

    I bet you anything that this guy really does love the books. He just has too much pride to admit it, so he is attempting to make himself look more manly by ‘hating’ it. Why else would he go through so much trouble to go to sites based off of the books and take take the time to write out e-mails to Kaleb? It’s all very suspicious to me.

  208. Emmi

    omg i forgot! Awesome blogs Kaleb and keep them coming! You Rock! =]
    Don’t listen to those rude ppl =]

  209. Emmi

    haha i like Jody’s thinking :D

  210. rjdickert

    okay this guy is out of his mind…oh well

    okay so i counted them
    but wasn’t sure what you are counting so here is what i came up with

    coud 1
    prolly 3
    yor 1
    bcause 1
    btw 1
    yd 1
    omfg 1
    caleb 2
    anywhere 1
    cause 1
    i 1
    wit 1
    sware 1
    o 1
    gf 1
    freakin 1

    yeah if there were apostrophes i was supposed to catch..whoops but im horrible at grammar!
    keep reading!
    ~rjdickert

  211. Bex

    I firmly believe that GJ is just afraid to read Twilight because he would be assaulted with large words he wouldn’t understand (the lack of profanity might be an issue for him as well). It’s a shame, if he picked up a book and started reading he could develop a vocabulary and improve his spelling and grammar.

  212. Grace

    GJ got burned
    :D

    Very nice, Kaleb. :P

  213. elle

    Not including chat speak i got around 16 spelling mistakes. I woula t-shirt! This guy is such a moron… but his emails are actually incredibly hilarious so thanks for entertaining us, GJ, with your total stupidness. Kaleb, you’re awesome, don’t let the haters get you down (although probably you’re laughing your head off at this stupid dude like the rest of us are LOL). Get chapter 12 done already! JEEZ! Haha j/k

  214. elle

    oops i meant – I would love a t-shirt *
    this chat box thingy totally mesed up my typing *sigh!*

  215. melissa

    my god what a pig. how sad that losers like him actually exist.

  216. Stephanie

    15, not including OMFG, cause and some other similar half-words.

    LOL! People who make threats they can’t complete make my day!

  217. Angela!

    I got 22.

    His idiocy makes me giggle. In a sad, sad way.

    I think you might’ve hit a nerve there, Kaleb. Perhaps those girls he thinks are throwing themselves at him are actually running away….just a theory. ;D Curious he seems to be regularly visiting a site concerning a book that was, apparently, so terrible.

    Twilight doesn’t have pictures. It displeased him.

    you don’t mess with Twilighters.
    RAWK.

  218. Gill Pont

    Ignoring the heehaws and neighs which make it rather difficult to read and correct, I counted 23 including one run-on-sentence ["YOU MUST BE A (HEEHAW) OR SOMETHING BCAUSE NO GUY WOULD PICK UP THIS (SNORT)ING (HEEHAW), BTW I SAW IT ON SOME GIRLS DESK YD AND SO I PICKED IT UP AND JUST OPENED IT, AND THERE WAS SOME (NEIGH) ABOUT EDWARD AND LIKE HIS SUPER HOT FACE AND OTHER CRAP."] and the sentence in brackets which is very wrong in many ways ["yeah right to (name removed) like you caleb has anywher near, most of twilight guy fans are proll y guys cause calebs a (HEEHAW) and i get more girls than this (HEEHAW) caleb guy"].

    I counted all spelling mistakes (including text talk), but didn’t count sentences that are accepted in “popular language,” yet aren’t proper English. Although he wouldn’t be able to pass an English exam with popular language, it is still widely accepted. Thus I will let it go with a warning. GJ, please improve your English!

  219. Jody

    Oooh, Gill! You’re right. That first sentence you put in brackets… it’s hypocritical! He called himself a… hmmm “SNORT)ING (HEEHAW)”… because he just admitted to picking it up. -_-;

    Sorry, I like pointing out the obvious sometimes ^_^;

  220. QuirkyMarie

    does…i mean seriously, does his vocabulary range any wider?? i mean thats like a first grade level. im seriously worried about him. don’t go to hard on him guys, he cant even learn to spell let alone read a dictionary for personal benefit.

    Personally, dude you cant gain any fame with that low of vocabulary. so in the end, i also believe you need to learn the most celebreties i know about, still have to ask the girl out nicely before she accepts. And secondly, men can learn a thing or two about being gentlemenly since you obviously are not.

    Learn english, and try to keep your feelings to yourself.

    seriously, a first grader…
    wasnt it a rule that if you had nothing nice to say dont say it at all, and if anything use constructive critizism?

    some just need to get over themselves.

  221. Anna

    I counted 23.
    People who can’t spell usually drive me nuts but that actually made me laugh because of how stupid he is. I love how he actually took the time to come to your site and leave you that comment. Kaleb, that pretty much just made my day. :P

  222. Amanda

    I count 28.

    What an idiot. I think he may be a closet Twilight fan O_o. How else did he come across your website…

  223. Erica

    I don’t know about you guys, but I go 24 mistakes, including improper comma use…I couldn’t even focus on what he was saying because of his lovely writting skills. This was pretty funny to read.

  224. py

    you rock, kaleb! i think that is so brave butting his emails up on your site, considering all the stuff he said. *sigh* some guys will never learn…
    i counted 17, not including stuff like btw and omfg.
    keep up all your good work, rock on!!! =D

  225. Mischa

    I’m with a few other people on this idea so again; sorry for the repetition but I found this site by looking up info on the ‘Twilight Saga’… How in earth’s heaven and hell would you find this site if not by looking for information on ‘Twilight Saga’ itself? Even more to the idea he came back a second time to try and sadly humiliatingly ‘bash’ your site (which in turn he just bashed himself) is just puzzling and like other said; to deny something like this only results in things like that…

    If you reading this GJ; give into your secrets… you can’t hide them through anger and the attempt to bash others on it with horrible chat text… it makes the rest of us laugh and would probably make us do it even if there was not a computer screen in front of our eyes…

  226. Amy

    I don’t think I counted right, because I was counting punctuation mistakes as spelling mistakes. So I’m going with 24, but with all the bad grammar it was hard to tell what he was even talking about. Am I right?

  227. Ang

    Soo… I counted 26 errors including the caleb-kaleb confusion and word simplifications.

    Also, I know you’ve already blanked out a lot of his swears, but one “crap” managed to survive in the second paragraph (at the very end of the first sentence). Just figured I’d give you a heads-up to keep the language issues to a minimum. I admire your effort for blanking out so many already. (And in such a humorous way.)

  228. Icy Topaz

    Why do such dumb people even waste the effort of emailing you? TWICE? That (HEE HAW)ing (HAW) is just begging to be demolished! Let’s chase him with BRs and frag grenades. *evil leer*

  229. Brandi

    HAHA!
    228 now 229 comments just about this guy.
    I bet he can’t even count that high.
    Don’t worry Kaleb we got your back!

  230. Louise

    Why would he even visit this site if he doesn’t like the book so much? It begs the question, Why was he looking up Twilight? I bet he does actually like Twilight, and he’s just embarrassed about it, because he’s insecure about … size. Maybe he’s secretly got a crush on Edward?? Haha it wouldn’t surprise me.

    And I don’t think GJ quite comprehends the magnitude of the Twilight fanbase. Seriously, after embarrassing himself for the first time, why would he email again?? In front of so many girls?? The mind boggles…

    I counted 23 spelling errors :) Keep on working at it GJ!!

  231. Gen

    I dont think any girl would’ve called him back.

    And dont we all already know that Edward isnt real? Which is why we’d rather stay at home to read Twilight than go out with guys like him.

  232. Genevieve Lael

    okay so i’m thinking it’s 22 spelling errors. although i could be wrong. *shrugs*
    well i just want to say that i think that this “gj” must have a really boring life to waste his time going off on kaleb because all his ranting and raving isn’t going to get him anywhere. no matter what millions of girls will come to this site regardless of what this “gj” says. whoever he is, he’s probably just jaded because his girlfriend dumped him because of his foul mouth. i don’t know about everyone else, but i would never want to date anyone who would use that kind of language.
    needless to say i think kaleb is awesome! and he’s here to stay as our twilight guy!

  233. Drewsy

    Kaleb, I freaking love you! This guy’s obviously going to get some…well, maybe a little bit more than some, hatemail from us rabid Twi-hards. Serves him right! I think us Twi-hards are pretty good at bringing justice to the Twilight name. =]

  234. Nazrine

    Excluding chatspeak, I picked up 15 mistakes.

    Including chatspeak.. 22.

  235. Nazrine

    Oops. I forgot to add that I included misspellings of your name.
    I also didn’t include grammar mistakes, or I’d have been here forever.

  236. Filipa

    23… i think

  237. Laura

    so i thought before this guy was fake and you just made the email up, but now i understand i was wrong. wow….

    i counted 28 mistakes. including the TXT speak like, BTW, OMFG, etc. because to me, thats not proper spelling.

    Anyway thanks for posting these letters, even though he is threatening to sue you (i know he isn’t able to). They are quite entertaining.
    -Laura

  238. shannon

    XD wow.
    I think someone needs a hug.
    15 mistakes.

  239. Crystal

    Ha ha, that guy is an idiot but probably great for a laugh.

    I counted about 21 spelling mistakes, JUST spelling mistakes, including things like “btw” “omfg” “caleb”.

    This guy’s email is the equivalent of an English teacher’s worst nightmare.

  240. Hallie

    I found at least 19 but I only started counting grammar and text speak halfway through, and didn’t want to go back and suffer through it again. I’m thinking he “prolly” also spelled half the “heehaw”s wrong, thanks for saving us.

    My guess is that he’s jealous because you (and Stephanie Meyer) have received some form of education and actually have the ability to put words together coherently.

  241. Yasmine

    Hahaha. Such an idiot. I counted 13-14 spelling mistakes, not counting chat speak. He mispelled your name twice too, I think.
    Well, whatever, this guy is a idiot, who doesn’t know anything or make an effort to learn :)

  242. Lindsie

    Good graphic, though I like the pig better, because seriously, as much of a “heehaw” as this guys is, he is 100% a sexist, ignorant, disrespectful pig.

    But, good for you, making light of such slander coming your way!!

  243. jessica

    Like i stated before…

    jessica
    May 14th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
    well that guys intelligence level is shown in the fact he cant spell read! So don’t listen to anything that moron had to say! I would also like to point out that you probably get a lot more attention from girls than that guy ever will!

    He is a moron! He probably never even had a girlfriend! I am also pretty sure all he wants is attention, because if he truly hated Twilight why is he here reading ALL of the comments made about his stupid e-mail?

  244. ana

    Wow, could he be more stupid! This guy is a joke. First he criticize a book he hasn’t even read, then he sends you crappy emails with a lot of grammar mistakes, what’s next? sent out antitwilight flyers with kindergarden drawing?
    Anyway i counted 23 mistakes and i still think he’s got more!

  245. Amanda

    Ok, so this guy is either mentally retarded or seriously deluded.

    I think that he just wants you to post his e-mails, so he can find some entertainment in his pathetically dull existence.

    GJ(checking Twilightguy.com): “Hyuck! LOK! PEEPL R TULKNG BOUT ME! I’M SO CUL.”
    *goes off and reads all the comments which takes him 24 hours of tripping up on words such as “acronym”*

    *The next week*
    GJ: “Hay! I tink thay weer makng fuun uf me!”

    *writes another e-mail with horrible spelling*

    *repeat process*

    :]

  246. Shelley

    He’s just jealous because he does not have “The Skills”. And the skill to spell… he must be a potty-mouth-12-year-old.

    I would love a twilight shirt but I’m not sure on what you are accepting as spelling mistakes but I will try. This is a fun challenge!

    I believe I counted 12 spelling mistakes. As in they were spelled incorrectly and/or missing ..ing..y..ed..

    It is good that you’re taking the insulting emails and doing something productive with them.

  247. Emily

    I found thirteen spelling mistakes, but three of those were shortened versions of a word, like “o” instead of “oh” and “u” instead of “you”, so I’m not sure if they count, as well as three misspelled Kalebs. I also saw four other abbreviations like OMFG, BTW, YD, and GF. There were also two missing apostraphes.

    By the way, if this guy hates Twilight so much, why does he make a point of going to Twilight fansites? Just a thought.

  248. Lina WIcked

    Well, people get like that. People have to deal with people, so yeah, I found it funny from the fact that he’s trying to convince you that you’re an idiot while being pretty illiterate. Yeah, well, we’re not perfect but I would at least respect you…?

    I counted about 23 mistakes…I think ><

  249. Rani B

    I’ve counted thirteen – fifteen if you count U instead of you and more if you count YD, and a grammatical error (“girls desk” instead of “girl’s desk”), and your name misspelled three times – which is always annoying. And this guy seriously cannot spell. I know I’m probably being overcritical since I’ve been in spelling bees (only person from my school to go to regionals) but really, I have never seen anyone misspell “so” or “could”.

  250. Mindy

    I know a few people like that who refuse to read the book and then bash it without reall knowing anything about it. Anyway I counted 13 basic spelling mistakes but I’m a horrible speller so that’s probably wrong.

  251. Carissa

    Rofl. Mann this one is uber funny. I think 23.

  252. Addie

    Sorry about sending my guess through email :D

    Anyway, I guessed 15 spelling errors. It looked like GJ typed that with his foot ;D

    It sucks that you have to put up with people like him. It’s pathetic. Honestly, it’s hard to believe somebody could be so closed-minded. Hopefully next time he tries to insult you, he’ll do it in proper english. I don’t think my brain can handle anymore chatspeak :)

  253. Crystal

    Whoa…

    I counte seventeen mistakes, including the expressions as OMFG [which actually was what I thought seeing sooo many mistakes].

    Greetings, Kaleb. And I know you don’t need it, but screw that guy!

    Crystal

  254. Crystal

    correction: counted* xD

  255. Melody

    Don’t listen to that stupid GJ guy. He’s just an idiot.

    Kaleb, you are AWESOME!

    I counted 26 spelling and grammar mistakes plus all the slang used. There was a 27th and 28th one, but it depends on what one of the bad words were.

  256. Jessica

    Okay..
    so I found 20 actual spelling Mistakes.

    plus 4 short forms that I don’t know if you want to count (btw, yd, omfg, gf)

    and 3 gramatical errors
    (girls should be girl’s, i should be I, and ‘MILLIONS OF FANS” should be “millions of fans”

    altogether there are 27, but depending on what you consider a spelling mistake it could be 20, 24, or 23 as well.

  257. Kelly

    i dont know if you counted the e-mail slang like btw or omfg but there was…4 i think of those

    also did punctuation count? if it did then i think there was 3

    but as for spelling mistakes i counted 20 all together though its 27

  258. Kate

    why would someone get so angry over a book? it’s fiction.

    the guy must be a moron…

  259. Elizabeth

    12 Spelling Mistakes, but that’s if you don’t count “O” because that’s just online spelling abbreviations. D:
    Gah gah gah. This guy’s is so annoying.
    -headdesk-

  260. Cassie

    Counting all the slang, text spelling, and the three times he spelled your name wrong, I’d have to guess 21 mistakes. plus if you count when he wrote “I know anybody who read Twilight is a freak” putting an ‘s’ at the end of read would make that sentence make a little more sense; that would be 22 mistakes.
    You rock Kaleb! Good for you for not letting this idiot get to you :) you have many fans who adore you! I can’t wait to hear what you have to say about the other chapters :)

  261. Stevie

    I counted 14 spelling mistakes…including him spelling your name wrong and the chat speak :) you’re right…some guys just don’t learn at all lol

  262. Courtney

    Oh My.
    I counted around 28:

    1. email~ E-mail
    2. Yor~ Your
    3. Coud~ Could
    4. Prolly~ Probably
    5. Bcause~ Because
    6. BTW~ By The Way
    7. Girls~ Girl’s
    8. YD~ And?
    9. OMFG~ Oh My Freaking Gosh
    10. Caleb~ Kaleb
    11. Anywher~ Anywhere
    12. Proll~ Probably
    13. y~ Why
    14. Calebs~ Kaleb’s
    15. Cause~ Because
    16. Caleb~ Kaleb
    17. Prolly~ Probably
    18. Wit~ With
    19. Soo~ So
    20. Sware~ Swear
    21. O~ Oh
    22. U~ You
    23. GF~ Girlfriend
    24. Read~ Reads
    25. U~ You
    26. TwilightGuy~ Twilight Guy
    27. Freakin~ Freaking
    [(28.) I dont know whether this counts because its a common abbreviation] Site
    I counted Chat Speak, because that is one of my greatest pet peeves.
    Capitalizatin errors are driving me crazy, but when he didn’t capitalize ‘I’, I almost lost complete sanity.The punctuation is horrible as well.
    This email would give my English Teacher a heart attack. This is my worst nightmare. I seriously feel like shoving every grammar book known to this world down this guy’s throat.
    Seriously. He probably doesn’t like it because
    1. No Pictures
    2. Words are too big
    3. He probably thinks Debussy is a form of Cheese.
    The list goes on.
    Oh and By The Way, I love you even more for this Kaleb!
    I’m sure this guy is just jealous because he doesn’t have a fanbase the size of yours, or even have a fanbase alone.

  263. Aarica

    I count 24, give or take a couple.

    All I can say is … wow. And then laugh hysterically. It makes me wonder though. If he hates it so much, then why would he come to your website? I think he secretly loves it as much as any of us.

  264. Mandy

    Hmmmm, well, counting all the abbreviations AND the regular spelling mistakes, I counted ten. I might have skimmed, but I’m sure I got them all. If I don’t, I still gots and Emmett tee! ^.^ (the gots was put purposely, I am not a dunce)

  265. Abby

    Whoa, Kaleb, so popular you are. The force is strong within this one!
    What is with this guy?

  266. Elizabeth

    I counted 14 but that includes the wrong verb tense…That was hilarious I have to say.

  267. Katrina

    I think it’s funny how he knows Edward’s name and the correct spelling when he has absolutely no interest in this book what so ever… And how he just happened to think it would be a good idea to pick up the book and have a quick flick through instead of throwing it away or something that would seem more matching to his words… or whatever language he seems to be speaking… And we all know Stephenie likes to draw out her descriptions so for him to pick up on Edward being beautiful he would have had to read at least a paragraph?
    PS I WOULD try and enter the comp but I’m from Australia and i doubt you’ll want to send it out here… But love the site!

  268. kevin please publish my email

    AHAHAHAHAHAHA

    thats so hilarious

    i dont even wanna guess how many mistakes he made

    but this is hilarious

  269. Mary

    1. coud (could)
    2. prolly (probably)
    3. girls (girl’s)
    4. caleb (kaleb)
    5. anywher (anywhere)
    6. prolly (probably)
    7. calebs (kaleb’s)
    8. caleb (kaleb)
    9. to (so)
    10. cause (’cause)
    11. email (e-mail)
    12. prolly (probably)
    13. wit (with)
    14. soo (so, but I don’t know if this counts, b/c I spell it like that for fun)
    15. sware (swear)
    16. o (oh)
    17. read (reads, unless it’s standing for the past tense)
    18. freakin (freakin’)
    There were more punctuation mistakes and capitalization mistakes, but I didn’t count those. I didn’t count the abbreviations or slang, either.

  270. Keeley

    I counted 20. Might be more or less, but the bad grammar and never-ending caps lock started giving me a headache…

  271. Sam

    Wow. That was hilarious.

    I counted 14, but it was hard to differentiate between actual spelling mistakes and punctuation and ‘chat speak’

  272. Twilight Teezer

    We’ll send to ANY country ;-)
    Gotta love the humorous way Kaleb deals with negativity…thanks!!

  273. Misha

    okay
    first paragraph: 4, if you include that ‘come’ should have been ‘came’
    second paragraph: 14 including the number of times he spelled your name wrong..and abbreviations
    third paragraph: 9 if you include how ‘know’ was spelled as ‘now’ and twilight guy was one word…
    so in total 27
    jeez this guy really needs a life…

  274. Kelly

    Wow. What a retard. He’s probably some pimply faced wannabe who is jealous of Edward because his gf actually dumped him because of his unwilling stubbornness to accept other people’s opinions. But he makes us laugh. =D
    I counted 13. But I was being pretty linient.

  275. Emma

    I went through the “letter” (If it can be called that.) And I was being really picky about word choice and everything, and I got a really high number of mistakes. But if you just count misspelled words I found 28.

    Wow, that guy needs a life. And I highly doubt that his girlfriend would ever call him back if she really has read Twilight, I know that if I ever met a guy like that I would drop him in a millisecond because he is so the opposite of Edward.

  276. Kasey

    So, I counted 14 spelling mistakes, but was just SPELLING mistakes as you said…yeah I’m not going to fight it.

    That guy just sees his inferiority when another guy has the guts to read a book that is written for a woman, because Stephenie Meyer is in fact female. He is probably scared out of his mind for losing his masculinity.

    He annoys the crap out of me…What girl would ever want..blah. I’m too tired now.

    Sorry for all the mistakes. Ironic eh? Wow I’m tired.

  277. Deja

    I have 28…
    Good Golly that guy has to be the most..I can’t think of a word for it right now..But it makes you want to laugh because he sounds so stupid! And if he hates Twilight and anybody that reads it then why does he keep coming here? what a douche…

  278. Jenn

    i counted 15 spelling mistakes.

    the guy’s an ass.

  279. Stephanie

    Oh.. my.. god..

    I.. would very much like a t-shirt, but this makes my eyes bleed. Seriously.

    If I were to correct this, my head would explode in the process.

    One thing that stuck out the most was ‘now’ instead of ‘know.’

    He would have sounded more intelligent – or at least amusing – if he pulled a Chris Farley. “Oh My Freaking Goard!”

  280. Red

    Just a guess here: 20 mistakes.
    Not counting the mistake of sending you such a pathetic and immature email, the mistake of overstraining his tiny brain by actually READING and attempting WRITTEN COMMUNICATION, and the mistake of being (heehaw)ing dense and a (snort).

  281. Red

    I myself counted 23 but I am not sure on whether or not we are correcting grammatical and spelling mistakes or just spelling mistakes.
    If you’re counting spelling, I counted 12.

  282. Jenny

    What a numpty! I don’t see why he felt the need to write the whole damn thing, without using a spellcheck…
    I got 26, but that is probably because I grade work like a bitch, I counted every tiny mistake!
    But seriously, he said Edward had no balls, I am deeply offended, nobody seems to have made much of a fuss about that…:( Maybe it is just me!

  283. Allie N.

    eh, i think i got 27 now. and that’s just spelling mistakes. jeez that guy still gets on my nerves…he probably has nothing better to do than rant about something he doesn’t know about and talk about non-existent girlfriends and not pay attention in English class.
    everytime i read it again i see more mistakes!!!! so i’ll stick with this one. btw, keep up the good work!

  284. CannibalAmy

    Let’s see… *counts up tallies*… I got 25 mistakes, whether they be spelling, slang, or just plain laziness.

    This guy is such a loser!

  285. Kathne

    i counted 26 mistakes
    including like everything

    and i though i spelled bad….
    -.-;;

    but this made my day
    made me smile and think of what a (heesnaw) he is.

  286. Bite Me Edward

    Too funny – he’s such a catch! I counted 24.

    Any guy who reads twilight and learns even just a little bit from Edward’s character is a very smart man indeed. It’s like hitting the “figuring out how women want to be treated” lottery!

  287. Mandy el Fanpire

    Recount time! This time I got 14, only spelling mistakes, no chat speech or anything. GJ is a tard, and every girl who reads Twilight (which is basically the whole chick population) would most definitely NOT beg to (HEEHAW) with him.

  288. Elizabeth

    Wow, that guy has issues. I counted 30 mistakes, but many of the errors were repeated. That guy needs to take an English class and then he might realize what a great write Stephenie Meyer really is.

  289. Loonyxoxlovegood

    i didn’t include chatspeak and got 13
    =] hope i win!

  290. .Deh...

    HAHAHA… It is nice to read stuff like this. Like “Okay, I’m don’t know English very well, and what I write in English looks like something that a child wrote, but hey, I’m not the only one /o/” LOL

    I counted 20 spelling mistakes.

  291. mehek

    i think it’s about fourteen. good lord this “human” needs a life!!!

  292. Vesper

    I got 26 (that includes slang and things like btw and omfg (because techinically they are not words)and also names). I had such a hard time reading this because not only are there spelling problems, but his sentence structure is a mess.

    he has probably never read a book in his entire life or at least one that he could understand seeing his grammer…*shudder*

  293. Mary

    Yeah, 18 spelling mistakes, three or so grammatical errors, and 3 ‘internet speak’ (omg).
    There were probably more that I missed, but hey. And did he honestly spell your name wrong 3 times?! Duh- like a “K” is sooo hard to remember. T_T

    But seriously- I can’t believe this guy.

    Honestly- I think he has a man-crush on you. What other reason would the (heehaw)bag have for visiting your site and sending you (pathetic) hatemail!?
    I’m telling you- man crush! That and I bet he is obsessed with Twilight.

  294. Amanda B

    wow. ummm i counted around 16 unless you count things like omfg misspelled words.
    anyway, i think the guy is hilarious hahaha i bet that if he actually read the book, he’d love it.
    he’ll probably just end up going “f-ing retards reading this f-ing book, i bet it sucks. i’lll just read a couple of chapters and…omg! edward!” hahahahahahaha
    all in all i counted around 16

  295. Brittany

    i wasn’t sure what should be counted as a mistake or not, the whole email was just hurting my eyes, the language and spelling errors were all over the place,it was really hard to read. But i came up with a grand total of 21 mistakes.

  296. Julia

    I counted 18 mistakes, but I probably wrong because his horrible grammer made me dizzy.

  297. Emily

    I counted 18 spelling mistakes, including text lingo (examples: BTW, OMFG, and GF) and the mispelling of your name. The things I didn’t include were grammar mistakes. Am I right?? (haha, probably not)

  298. Lauren

    Uhhhh 23.I think…

  299. Zoe

    Okay. I counted 14 spelling errors. Which includes all of the stupid acronyms that lazy people use (omg for example). I don’t see how you can put up with people like this. They’re so rude and obnoxious.

  300. bookgirlluvstwilight

    Okay, so I tried to count the spelling errors even though I said I wouldn’t try. Ummm……14 errors….possibly?

    Happy Birthday to Jennifer. Her mom didn’t throw her a birthday party till yesterday and today (sleepover). Her birthday was in December!

    I’ve tried to convince her to read Twilight but she still has not read it. She reads other books.

    Keep reading Twilight Kaleb!

    Stevie was here :)

  301. Liane

    You know, it really is hard to take people who use chat-speak seriously …Especially if that someone has bad grammar AND uses chat-speak…Besides, he has no right to be dissing (for lack of a better word) other people’s likes…It’s one of those “to each their own” deals; just because he doesn’t enjoy the book (or won’t even take the time to read it), doesn’t mean he has any right to be so rude and … I mean, that’s just ASKING for mad e-mails, especially if the person you’re writing to posts your e-mail address ( ;) )

    Just for the heck of it I found about twenty-seven spelling errors (chat-speak included because technically you’re not actually spelling the word out, so therefore it’s spelled WRONG). His grammar’s pretty atrocious too…

  302. bellamouse

    Yeah, I found 26–I included things like chat-speak. As somebody else mentioned, it’s an email and therefore chat-speak shouldn’t be used.

  303. Liza

    Gah, that made my eyes bleed.

    Not counting grammar mistakes (which could have made me cry), I got 27.

    Here they are with the line of text they are from. Ugh, I never want to do this again.

    your (3)
    could (4)
    because (7)
    by the way (8)
    girl’s (9)
    yesterday (9)
    oh my (neigh)ing god/gosh (12)
    Kaleb? (17)
    anywhere (17)
    probably (18)
    because? (18)
    Kaleb’s (18)
    I (19)
    Kaleb (19)
    so (20)
    cause (20)
    with (23)
    so (24)
    swear (25)
    oh (25)
    you (25)
    know (25)
    girlfriend (25)
    reads? (He could be using past tense, but oh well.) (27)
    you (28)
    Twilight Guy (29)
    freaking (or a least freakin’) (29)

  304. Sally

    Wow, that was hard to read. My brain kept trying to form coherent sentences out of it–which proved impossible. I adore all the people who are counting up the spelling errors. And thanks for the dry commentary at the end about the girlfriend. It made me chuckle.

  305. Vickie

    I got to 24 and just stopped this guy is an idiot. It was hard to read. I think I would rather cut off one of my fingers before I read that peice of work again.

  306. jummmmi

    I counted 21 mistakes, but I’m not sure at all (being a poor German).

  307. Rita Baldovino

    Oh my God! I never thought someone could be SO rude just because you’re reading this AMAZING book. I mean, there’s so many HEEHAW’s in his letter. LOL. I know it might not be very funny for you, but what he wrote just proves this guy is ridiculous.
    He doesn’t even know how to write well. Stupid guy. I hope you and the other Twilight guys don’t care about what he said. Because, after all, we are what we are. The end. Any book will change that. Not even Twilight.
    Well, who cares about this GJ?! Who does he think he is??? He’s just a jerk. He has no right to say such things and insult the fans (us!) and Stephenie. He didn’t even read the book so HOW can he know if it’s good or bad?!
    You know what?! He’s jealous, OBVIOUSLY. He’s jealous of Edward’s perfection and because there’s a lot of people that likes you and read everything you write.

    About the spelling mistakes I don’t even want to count them because I don’t want to read this stupid letter again…!

    P.S: Damn, HE’S REALLY A JERK. If I knew where he lived I would go there and tell him SOME things that he really needs to hear.

  308. Christine

    This guy is a total idiot. I mean if you don’t like it just shut up already and stop going on about it. If he really didn’t care he wouldn’t even try to find sites about Twilight. Whatever. Okay I found 21 mistakes. I hope that’s right.

  309. Jessica A

    I counted 8 spelling mistakes not including chat speak.

    Some people… Has anyone seen the Wall of Shame at Mugglenet? Hilarious stuff.

  310. Laura A

    Okay so not counting chat speak I saw 13 mistakes, but I could be wrong because I can’t spell, but if chat speak(including the OMFG and OMG’s anything else like that)is counted as spelling mistakes then I counted 20 mistakes.

  311. spiceybiscuit

    I count 12, but if you want errors included but not limited to commas and periods, then the number is higher. I find it ironic he can’t spell Now=know(end of the lovely letter) but he did get too (meaning also and included) correct in the email.

    I am sure this individual is the same person that posted a similar email on a HP site a few years back. People have WAY to much time on their hands

  312. Cassie

    What a heehawing snort snort of an idiot.

  313. Jocelyn

    I counted 13… but that’s not counting the times he misspelled your name…

    and I don’t think that’s counting all the ‘btw’s’ and stuffs…

    but, I hope I’m right…

    this guy is an idiot.

    At least you have the decency to try and read Twilight.

    I really admire that.

    <3

  314. Katie

    I got a grand total of 16, counting the misspelling your name and the ‘O’…

  315. Leanne

    I count 25 if you inlude missing apostrophe, lower case ‘i’, e-mail, chatspeak, cause instead of because, freakin. (26 if you think it should say reads instead of read (past tense) in the last paragrapgh)

    14 if you’re talking strictly spelling. (I included all of the ‘prolly’s and your name in there.) (15 if you’re counting the reads/read thing)

    This guy is a (heehaw)ing (oink)bag.

  316. wendy

    i counted 17 :)

  317. Nicki D

    OK, here we go.

    your=you’re (maybe, i’m not sure exactly what the sentence is)
    yor= your
    coud= could
    prolly= probably
    bcause= because
    yd= yesterday
    prolly= probably
    wit= with
    Soo= so
    sware= swear
    o= Oh
    U= you
    now= know
    read= reads
    u= you

    grammer is absolutely horrible but I counted 15 spelling mistakes. It was hard with the haws and neighs in the way ;)

  318. Nicki D

    Oh, and it’s 11:32 p.m. where I am (Portland, Oregon). Does that still count? haha

  319. Kim (there are a lot of us too)

    I counted 27 mistakes.

    This includes your name (times three), the lower case “i”, “email”, all abbreviations, and the “read” instead of “reads”, simply because I couldn’t see any reason not to include the above once I got started.

  320. SaraMarie

    I love how he clearly makes himself look stupid. Everyone can sit back and enjoy this pathetic kid’s rants.

    I’m glad you don’t let this get to you at all. Keep up the awesome work. We support you! =)

    I counted 28 mistakes. That kid seriously needs spell check or something!

  321. Bethany

    Wow, what a jerk. But I think that he is a major Twilight fan anyway I am going with 26.

  322. Courtney

    LOL! What a jerk! It amazes me how people can be so rude to others that they don’t even know! Anyway – I found 17 basic mistakes but with the other slang & such it comes to 26 in my book. He is crazy. How awful to have to receive email like that! Well, we love our Twilight Guys and are sad over those that feel they are too macho to enjoy a wonderful book series. He is probably a closet fan & has to write these just to justify his addiction. :) Happy Reading Kaleb!

  323. Emilee

    Can’t we just say that GJ himself is a mistake? Okay, never mind. I’ll get to my answer.
    Okay, so, there are 11 misspellings (i.e. prolly)
    There are 7 stupid acronyms, which, since we know GJ is an idiot, we’ll count against him.
    There are 2 words which are not words (twilightguy and freakin)

    Then, there are the odd assorted mistakes, such as Girls instead of girl’s (1)
    calebs instead of Kaleb’s (Which, unfortunatley, even though there are three mistakes in that one word, does not count, because I’ve already counted one of the mistakes)
    email instead of e-mail (1)

    In addition, there is a tense mitake, which adds one more tally to the board.

    And, if nothing else, this letter proves that microsoft spell checker is worthless. I admit, I tried to cheat abd just copy-paste the latter into Microsoft Word so that I could check the spelling without doing any work, but the computer only counted six mistakes. SIX! That is absolutely incorrect!

    So, the amout of mistakes I discovered was (a dramatic pause while I add this up)
    24.

  324. Erica

    I counted 13 spelling errors not counting I.M. lingo. This guy is an insecure little boy. What a sad sad kid.

  325. Amanda

    I’m gonna say 26 if you’re counting netspeak, grammar mistakes, etc. Otherwise, strictly spelling I counted 12.

    The thing that gets me is that by trying to show how stupid Twilight is he is just emphasizing how unintelligent book bashers like him are. And if Twilight is so pointless why does he waste so much time and energy on talking and thinking about it? That’s ridiculous. But hey, I get entertained so he should keep up the good work I guess.

  326. Amanda

    Let’s see…
    Actual spelling mistakes: 9 (7 if you consider “coud” and “wit” to be chatspeak)

    Uses of chatspeak: 11 (13 if you consider “coud” and “wit” to be chatspeak)

    Grammer errors: 2 (I didn’t include “read” because he could have meant “read” as in past tense “did read”)

    Also, note for the person that sort of asked, “YD” is chatspeak for “yesterday”.

    I think that’s it. :)

  327. Amanda

    *Sorry, I forgot to add “freakin” to the chatspeak. ;)
    Let’s see…
    Actual spelling mistakes: 9 (7 if you consider “coud” and “wit” to be chatspeak)

    Uses of chatspeak: 12 (14 if you consider “coud” and “wit” to be chatspeak)

    Grammer errors: 2 (I didn’t include “read” because he could have meant “read” as in past tense “did read”)

    Also, note for the person that sort of asked, “YD” is chatspeak for “yesterday”.

    I think that’s it. :)

  328. kaitlyn

    23, counting all the text slang and plain stupidity.

  329. Hayly

    Gosh, that was hilarious.
    I had mixed emotions reading his e-mail. Anyway, this is what I got:

    coud – could
    prolly – probably [X 3] (including ‘proll y’)
    bcause – because
    BTW – by the way
    yd – yesterday
    omfg – we all know what this means
    caleb – Kaleb [X 2]
    anywher – anywhere
    i – I
    cause – because
    wit – with
    Soo – So
    sware – swear
    o – Oh
    u – you [X 2]
    now – know
    GF – girlriend
    freakin — freaking

    All this adds up to a total of 22.
    So? What do you think?

  330. Lauren

    okay yeah I admit this was a very entertaining message… but I still wanna kick his butt into space!! he insulted Edward and will probably never have another gf again, he seems to be the exact opposite of our beloved Edward and no girl in her right mind would want that… that…. human!! lol I was about to say dog, but that would have been insulting to jake : P so yes, that gj or what ever the flip his name is, is a very stupid vampire hater who needs a life.
    : D
    LMSJM
    Twi-hard baby!!! woot!! woot!! lol

  331. Steph

    Wow, this guy is a total moron.

    And all those spelling/grammar mistakes made my brain hurt. He completely murdered the English language…

    Anyway, I believe caught 23 errors in his onslaught of idiocy.

  332. Cassie

    I am a very bad speller but when I counted I got 22…

  333. Cassie

    I am a very bad speller but when I counted I got 22…

    By the way thanks soo much for all these stories and all the news!!!

  334. pat

    I got 17….

  335. Divya

    this guy NEEDS a life ^^

    i gotz 13.
    How was he able to read that from twilight if he can’t even spell??!! Well, he doesn’t REALLY know how to read, seeing as he opened the book to a random page. Idiot much?! and if Edward is not real (in real life[ which i may agree if I'm allowed to]) why is he acting as if he’s TOTALLY jealous of our dear Mr. Cullen?
    What I have to say: WOW.
    And that’s spelled W-O-W.

  336. Morgan

    Well I went over his submission over again and again and I got about 29 mistakes but I’m probably wrong myself so yaeh.

    Spelling Mistakes
    come-came (more of a grammatical error than spellimg)
    email- e-mail
    yor-your
    coud-could
    prolly-probably (2x)
    bcause-because
    BTW- by the way (slang)
    girls-girl’s
    YD-yesterday (slang
    some- something
    OMFG-Oh my F**** God
    caleb- Kaleb (3x)
    anywher-anywhere
    proll y-probably
    to-so
    wit-with
    soo-so
    sware-swear
    o-oh
    u-you (shortened so I don’t know if this counts)
    now-Know
    Gf-girlfriend
    read twilight-reads twilight
    freakin-freaking

  337. Jessica

    I got 48 errors…
    Umm, that’s incluing spelling, grammer, and ect.
    Wow! Poor kid!

  338. Angelina

    hahahahahahaha ^_^

    I got 17 mistakes but I could be wrong since I suck at the English stuff too.

    By the way, I highly doubt that idiot got any call from his girlfriend. Who would want to take back such a loser? An all talk no action kind of guy.

    And I have one thing to say to this guy…… GET A LIFE! Seriously all you do is trash talk Kaleb and us Twilighters. We do what we want so if you don’t like it mind your own god damn business!!! We know your jealous of Kaleb but do you really have to be so agressive and hateful??? Here’s some advice for you
    1.)Stop “checking in” and sending ridiculous e-mails
    2.) learn some manners
    3.)learn proper English. (I hate chat talk!)
    4.)Be a “REAL” man and go read the book yourself.

    I’m seriously sick and tired of these idiots.

    *oh and take to account the many many comments above that are bashing you and maybe rethink what you’re doing.

  339. Heather

    26

  340. Amy

    I guess he “prolly” doesn’t know about spell check

  341. Gabriela

    I counted 15, but it looks like everyone found over 20…so either I’m a terrible speller…or other people counted mistakes other than spelling. Oh well…

    My eyes are bleeding now.

  342. Rachael

    well i counted 26! lol that guy was funny lol. as if you wouldn’t love the book!

  343. Charlene

    I counted 23 mistakes.

    This is my first time looking at your site, pretty fun!
    I look forward to reading more!
    Charlene

  344. Elliot

    Wow. It’s amazing, how stupid and narrow-minded people can be… he really should have paid attention in elementary school, then his rant perhaps would have other reactions than laughter because of hiss horrid use of the english language… I wasn’t able to understand everything (I’m german…^^’) but what I read had me laughing…even I can’t be soooo bad at grammar or spelling…. Dude, seriously! Learn your language!

    Kaleb, all you should do about that idiot is laugh, because we love you! :D

  345. hp-lili

    god, what a (heehaw)ing (oink)face.

  346. Snow

    Maybe the dude’s in denial.

    Like seriously, he shouldn’t say anything if he doesn’t have anything nice to say.

    He hasn’t even read Twilight so what gives him the right to say that the book is “stupid”?

    Oh, i know! He probably TRIED to read it but that’s just how far he got to do because he COULDN’T even UNDERSTAND Stephenie’s eloquent use of language.

    Tsk tsk. Shame…pity…

  347. Snow

    GJ stands for: the GREATEST JERK

  348. Becki

    Well he seems like a very pleasant young man and not at all illiterate.
    The fact that he actually has time between, all the girls he has, to write these emails thoroughly amuses me.
    I don’t like it when people judge things they haven’t even experienced, just shows their level of arrogance.
    So keep up the good work because your obviously giving this guy something to do with his day :D

  349. Reading Twilight: Chapter 13 (Confessions) | Twilight Guy - with Kaleb Nation

    [...] then he comes here huffin and puffin, and I have another GJ to deal with. I don’t understand these certain guys who are so obsessed with video games or [...]

  350. Toni B.

    Honestly, how stupid do you have to be? This guy is obviously very close-minded and insecure if he can’t respect what other people want to do without butting in and telling them what he assumes is wrong with it.

  351. alex

    woooow. that dude needs to stfu. he is never gonna get a girl again if he acts like this…what a dbag. his gf never called to take him back and he is a really stupid dbag for emailing yet again disses on twilight in front of a bunch of twilight fans….wow.
    kaleb u rule for what ur doing and i really hope that most guys r like u!

  352. Ashley

    Man, what a dork! You rock, Kaleb.

    I counted fifteen misspellings, including two ‘prolly’s, two misspellings of your name, and the ‘o’s and ‘u’s – I really hate it when people do that.

  353. Hihi

    Edward isn’t real? *crumples down to a crooked circley shape* Ok I know he isn’t real but some hope please? Maybe someday we(the girls) would be able to find an edward of our own, but he will never ever eva be as perfect as the real Edward Cullen(Hopefully that Edward wannaba read the twiligt saga )*sighs and daydreams about you-know-who* NO not Orlando Bloom!

  354. Emilee

    oh my god, Was I supposed to get angry? I just thought it was hilarious, what an idiot. He needs to learn how to spell. Not only that but the English language is filled with thousands of amazing and discriptive words that vent anger much more efficently than using words that he thinks sound cool. Truthfully it makes him sound like an imbicile (more of one than he already is) Well thank you GJ for the wonderful laugh.

  355. Katie

    Omg, that made me laugh sooo hard.
    Thank you for being awesome and posting that.

  356. Savy

    So we’re freaks?
    Well, at least we’re grammatically correct freaks. :]

    I’d rather be a freak than a pig who has nothing better to
    do than try to be the true “punk” that he is by rebelling against
    a book that most people enjoy just because that book is tons cooler than he is.

    We should cage these people and joyfully poke them with sticks. :]

    <3
    Savy.

  357. Bee

    Ok, this guy is past stupid. First of all the whole thing should be wrong because you don’t type in caps! Other than that I saw errors in grammar and spelling! And since I couldn’t understand what in the hell he was saying here:

    “YOU GO TELL ALL YOUR ‘MILLIONS OF FANS” (yeah right to (name removed)like you caleb has anywher near, most of twilight guy fans are proll y..”

    I’m assuming his complete lack of commas is the reason I had to re-read that sentence at least 8 times (and I still don’t understand it).

    I think everything below is just spelling. Everything below includes your name spelled wrong, the multitude of abbreviations he uses (I’m sorry but BTW is NOT A WORD!) and the number of times you’re or your was spelled wrong (because he used the wrong one).

    1.O -Oh
    2.U -you (I counted 2 times)
    3.Sware -swear
    4.caleb -Kaleb (I counted 3 times)
    5.Coud -could
    6.prolly -probably (3 Times)
    7. Yor
    8.anywher -anywhere
    9.OMFG
    10.WIT- with
    11.GF
    12.Soo- so
    13.BTW
    14.YD- ?
    15.BCause- because
    16.Freakin-freaking
    17. y-why
    18. email- e-mail
    19. Girls- girl’s
    So thats 24 not counting these.. which are all spelled correctly, it’s just the word choice is wrong.

    1.now- know
    2.cause- (which should be because)(2 times)
    3.twilight- which should be capatilized for being a proper noun
    4.i-I
    5.read- reads
    6.come- came
    7. I went OMFG- I said
    8. calebs- Kaleb’s

    If you add these the total shoots to 31.

    Then there is an insane disregard for commas, apostrophes.

    I know the contest already closed, but I have too much fun pointing out his mistakes.

  358. Lucy

    hell after reading that I feel like my IQ dropped!!! never read such poor grammer in my life. it’s almost as bad as how ghetto people type.
    *head desk*

  359. Imani (Always A Twilighter) Celestin

    reading Lucy’s comment (# 358) I laughed so hard. Its all true and funny.

    This guy needs to get a life and go back to first grade so he can find out how to spell.

    Kaleb, this is my first time on your site and it’s now a favorite! Props to reading the gratest book ever and telling us about what you think!

    GJ!!!! no one cares what you think & go find a dictionary!!

  360. Kierstyn

    There’s ‘PROLLY’ 1 million spelling mistakes in there. He’s like the dumbest person I’ve EVER heard of. ‘(HEEHAW)’

  361. nancy

    hey i just want 2 let u kno i gt my boyfriend 2 read it and by an act of God he is now as addicted 2 it as i am(and u)and this guy is a compleate heeha! and is only heehaing around 2 get a girl!=]

  362. sissy

    ahh i cant count the spelling mistakes hahaha. there are too many it’s like this freak didn’t go to school!

    Kaleb you are awesome. i love you! i swear, more guys need to read Twilight because unfortunately there is a handful of guys out there like that (HEEHAW). =]

    and, like some people have posted before, if Twilight disgusts him so much and he hates all this, then WHY DID HE WASTE HIS TIME CHECKING YOUR SITE??? LOL. he’s a retard.
    i bet you he secretly read Twilight and is in love with Edward Cullen =D

    my best friend (who is a GUY) read Twilight BEFORE me and i can thank Stephenie for making us even closer (though there are millions of things i could thank her for)

    keep on reading, Kaleb! it just gets better! love you!!

    ~sissy

  363. Nora

    Seeing as it’s after June 3, and that many hundreds of people have done it before me, it seems somewhat pointless to reiterate the obvious. However, I think I would enjoy the opportunity too much to let it slide. 

    This list includes GJ’s grammatical and punctual errors, in addition to his spelling errors. It also includes internet slang. It would appear that it was too tedious for poor GJ to type out the actual words. I know I wouldn’t want to, if they were pertaining to that (HEEHAW).

    Or, there is always the possibility that poor GJ’s intellectual happenings are so little and far between that spelling is something he considers to be unnecessary when writing.

    Anyway, back to the list:

    Come- Came
    Email- E-mail
    Yor- Your
    Coud- Could
    Prolly- Probably
    Bcause- Because
    Btw- By The Way
    Girls- Girl’s
    YD- Yesterday
    OMFG- Oh My (HAW)ing God
    ‘Millions of Fans”- GJ has not yet learned the difference between an apostrophe and a quotation mark.
    Caleb- he misspelled your name
    Anywher- Anywhere
    Proll y- Probably
    To- So
    Cause- Because
    Calebs- Not only did he misspell your name, but he forgot the apostrophe! Ooh. Double whammy.
    i- I
    caleb- Kaleb
    Cause- Because
    Prolly- Probably
    Wit- With
    Soo- So
    Sware- Swear
    O- Oh
    U- You
    Now- Know
    GF- Girl Friend
    Freakin- Freaking
    “Anybody who read”- Anybody who reads
    U- You

    Wow. What an (NEIGH) hole.

    Anyway, my total error count is: 34

    Not including punctual errors: 30

    Not including punctual or grammatical errors: 22

    Not including punctual, grammatical or internet slang: 17

    There you go. :)

  364. TwilightGirl

    the girl # 172…
    she spelled douche wrong.
    It’s ‘douche’ not ‘deuche’.
    Just wanted to share that.
    Love you Kaleb.
    I wanna (heehaw) you!! =D
    jk….a little. =0

  365. Rage

    I can give you a few possible responses for fun, and they are pretty much clean, just have somewhat riskier meanings and whatnot. I would post here, but, some things are better left for the guy who has to deal with a raging p****.

    That’s what he is, really. Almost anyone can make that conclusion from the two E-Mails he has sent you.

    Oh, yeah, The replies I know of, they can easily be written in a language Cro-Magnons like him can understand. Some have to be, to be properly understood. If you can see my E-mail and have some interest, get back to me, I’ll be glad to help you give him something to think about.

  366. Imani (Always A Twilighter) Celestin

    wow.
    i just keep reading and this
    just get funnier!!!

    PS. the link on my name the first time is wrong.
    it’s fixed now if you wanna see my myspace!!!
    Love you Kaleb!!!

  367. erin

    okay i freaking am..going to…
    (i really have no words to describe how mad i am right now!)
    that freak insulted
    1. you
    2. the brilliant stephanie
    3. edward???(wtf! how DARE he!)
    4. and me. he insulted everyone who has ever liked twilight
    i really have no words
    dont you DARE listen to that &%^* (heehawing jerk)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  368. Kristyn

    Wow. This guy is either insanely insecure about his manliness, or insanely jealous that girls love Edward more than they love him. It’s actually sad though, that someone could possibly have so much hate towards people he’s never met before…

  369. Laura

    I think 15 is a number. Counting the webspeak that wasn’t common knowledge to me, and the fact he spelled your name wrong.
    This guy needs someone to circumcise him and accidentally on purpose slip.
    He sounds like this guy I’m trying to convince to read twilight.. well not exactly.. the guy I’m trying to convince is more intelligent and doesn’t swear as much. Even though he’s referred to the twilight series as a wooden boat full of bs someone is trying to shove up his ass

  370. i don't feel like telling you! :)

    hehe! I tried to count it all but not even a vampire has the time to count how many mistakes this guy makes! Also my contacts got drier then that one desert in South America that hasn’t rained in 400 years… (sorry I forgot what it’s called) Well anyway, the virdict is this guy has mental issues!

  371. Emmy

    there are exactly 13 spelling mistakes in the email… and I take being called a freak as a good thing!!!!!!! so HA! anyway what is that guy’s problem?????? and if I was his girlfriend I would dump him the minute he a. said he could get more girls because (sorry for the extremly vain comment) he would have me. B. that email just proves what a self-centered jerk he is and c. he insulted Twilight, this (AWESOME!) website and Edward who is perfect. If Edward EVER acted like that I would go for Jacob and I hate him a lot. and as “I don’t feel like telling you :) ” said he has mental issues so take that GJ!!!

  372. jazz

    god what is up with that guy! like any girl would want him in the first place. he’s the kind of guy i would just like to punch in the face for being such an idiot. *sigh* the close-mindedness of some people is infuriating.

  373. Becca Shmeka

    Wow, no matter how rude and crude and inappropriate that man is … your dubbing of his curse words made me giggle like a 12 year old pubescent girl.

    Thank you for turning what could have been an upsetting development into something that I can show my friends and laugh about.

    As for GJ, he needs to grow up and make it his first priority to develop an intellect.

  374. Stephanie

    i really, really hate guys like that! He probably has no life which is why he goes on to random sites just to smash them to make himself feel better.

    I for one think its awesome that a guy actually wants to read somthing other then playboy or comic books. So go you Kaleb!

    I counted 12 mistakes but im probably wrong :)

  375. Amanda

    What a jerk!
    Wow, how pathetic. Doesn’t even know how to spell. That really gets his point across, doesn’t it? I can’t stand guys like that. Why exactly does he waste his time on this site if he hates Twilight so much? (and the sad thing is he has never even read the book). That’s extremely messed up. God help him.

  376. Emerson

    You know, his threat of sueing might be worse if he knew how to spell ‘probably’
    Also, the bit about Edward Cullen not existing really hurt.
    yesh.
    *tear*
    Moron. I mean, if you don’t like the book, then fine. and “no wonder a lady wrote it”? Give me a break.

  377. Jess

    Hahahahahahahaha!
    The first one was annoying, but this is just funny! I don’t know what to say. I guess it’s guys like him who make girls think guys are all the same.

  378. paige

    I’m really fascinated by his extensive vocabulary.

    an amazingly insightful boy. I mean, why should we all recieve educations, and learn colorful words describe what we mean… when we can just as easily call everyone an idiot five or so times in one letter?

  379. Jason

    maybe he could spend less time complaining and actually read the book, once he’s done he can ACTUALLY complain. I sometimes type like that only when i type REALLY fast… 110 wpm. If he really doesn’t care, why would he check around this site? EVER? Since the last time he emails you. He’s probably just another attention seeking child. And why could he be so cruel when he knows that a bunch of girls, and maybe boys, are probably going to go and mob him down. He probably doesn’t spend much time in school, he probably CAN’T read twilight, thats why he complains about it, and thats why he can’t spell.

  380. Julie

    HAH.
    What do you think this guy’s so-called “girl friend” will think when she sees his name all over this? I’m sure she’d be ashamed (that’s IF this girl really exists). Which if she did exist, she’d have to have the lowest self esteem to date a guy like this with no good taste in manners, or in books, or language itself.

  381. Julie

    And I counted 22 mistakes, counting your name, Kaleb, and the abbreviations. Unless you want grammar, too. That..will take a while.

  382. no E

    i feel bad for this guy. its sad he has nothing to do but send hate mail. what confuses me the most is; how did he happen apon this site? because he must have been googling twilight or on twilightteez or somthing, so maybe he secretly loves it but feels he has to prove he doesn’t by insulting an iconic twilight follower. i wonder if he hate mails stephanie meyer. the farm animal theme is cute.

  383. Jonah

    Umm, I agree it was kinda hard to count the spelling errors because sometimes he would just use internet slang like “omg” and also spelling your name wrong… but all in all I got 10. I hope I’m right!

  384. mckenzie

    Ha. I LOVE this website and this idiot should get a life. He must have SOMETHING better to do than send hate mail. I applaud you for posting it with the animal theme. Ha.

  385. Alice Cullen

    So Kaleb, did this guy keep his word? Have you gotten sued? What a liar annnnnnnd what a vulgar person. He should stop being a heehaw and do something with his life, or at least chill out. Also he’s lying abbout his girlfriend she would’ve never called asking him back she would’ve walked to his door and throw allllllll the books aiming for his (heehaw) or his little impy nose. Anyways Kaleb you rock and don’t listen to donkeys who like to swear… I’m picturing donkey from shrek in an R rated movie. Lol keep it up one of my fav sites. GO TEAM ALICE!

  386. Dania Cullen

    omg that guy cracks me up. He’s soo gay its hilarious. I always come to this page when i feel bad so i can laugh at this idiot. And I dumped my boyfriend cause he WASNT like Edward Cullen. So being like edward is really makes girls like you. keep up the good work Kaleb!

  387. Lucy

    Wow, if only he knew how wrong he was…

    Rock on Kaleb!

  388. Meg

    Yeesh, what a loser. Clearly, he’s jealous of you, Kaleb. for 3 reasons.
    1. You have the ability to actually read (and write) a book. Something he clearly could never accomplish, judging by his atrocious grammar and spelling.
    2. You have an extremely popular website, and you’ve even been interviewed for Entertainment Weekly!
    3. You have hordes of fangirls.(myself included!) Girls tell you how awesome you are on a daily basis!

    So dont listen to this pathetic, insecure wannabe! (But please, do keep posting his letters. They’re quite amusing)

  389. bri

    okay hello.
    this guy is a moron.
    maybe he could take a hint.
    we’re aware that edward is a fictional character.
    [notice the icons. but we can still dream...]
    but if he was half as amazing as edward [or even JACOB] he would be a guy that any girl would be lucky to have.
    but then again, to learn the lessons from this book, you have to actually be able to read so… guess that option’s out for him.
    audiobook, anyone?

  390. vanna

    all i have to say is that guy sucks. how DARE he trash talk Edward Cullen. the only reason he doesn’t like twilight is because he knows how awesome Edward is and he knows he could never live up to him. And whats this crap about him having a girlfriend? what a load.

  391. .Nicole

    Omg!! i can’t believe some guy will do this …. i mean he IS jealous about it…

    Kaleb you rock ! =) this is the first time i’ve been addicted to blogs.. haha.. keep up the good work!

  392. Alice C.

    OME…I’m sure I’ll need to go to the doctor after reading this… My eyes can’t stand that horrible grammar… Who the hell can even wrtite like this??
    Geez…
    P.s. Besides, he’s a liar. You’re awsome, and, the last time I checked, I wasn’t a freak.
    P.p.s I’m portuguese, so, I think my own errors are understandable (is this how it’s written? Sorry.)

  393. danielle

    what an idiot. i mean, dumping his girlfriend just because of a book?! plus all of that swearing, rudeness, misspelling, etc., i don’t think he will ever do achive in life. kaleb, you rock! you are so much better than this guy!

  394. Lucille

    jealousy…, is really something, eh?
    i love the site,,,

    im pretty sure he wont get another girl in his intire life…,

  395. Lucille

    p.s.

    GO TEAM EMMETT..!

    he’s second of my best characters in twilight saga,.hihi

  396. Nessie

    Kaleb, don’t even worry about this idiot suing you. It’s just to scare(although I know it isn’t) you off. If he hates Twilight so much why does he care about who reads it or what Edward is like? Team Kaleb! Team Edward!

  397. Insane Jasper Fan, AKA Erika

    Um, I’m just going to say that I, being an avid reader, had a terribly hard time reading this because of all of the errors and profanity.

    Ok, I’m not sure what you are counting, but I counted 31 total mistakes, including spelling, grammar, and abbreviations. I’m also counting everything that he didn’t capitalize, including YOUR NAME. Which, sadly, was spelled incorrectly.

    You know, I almost want to feel empathy for this loser, merely for the fact that he cannot spell to save his life. Oh, wait. Jasper stopped me from feeling sorry. :)

  398. Ana

    I Just Don’t have words to discribe this guy.

    1)I am not english our American, i learn english in my school and i am not a very good student, i mean i don’t have the better marks of my class, but i think that i still write better them him( but i don’t have sure)

    2) i am really make an effort to find out words to describe this guy, but i just can’t find words to explain the way he make me feel.(and is not because i don’t know the words in english, because i know a certain words for him, but is just not polite write them in here) petty, that one word to descrive the way he make me feel for people like him. because he is just that kind of people that can’t do anything and can’t anyone be happy about anything.
    and finaly
    3) if he thinks that everyone that read twilight books are an idiot, and he don’t want be friend of anyone that read the books, let me tell you, i am sure that you will never found a girl that don’t like twilight, so bad luck for you on datting, and if you don’t notice boys are start to like twilight too, so i think you are gonna lose many friends

  399. Kaitlyn

    Hah!

    I counted 14 spelling/grammar errors.
    Wow
    He’s the Idiot.
    Your amazing Kaleb…..
    Oh that’s 16 since he spelled your name wrong.
    Would you count that?
    Well its either 16 or 14.

  400. allyson

    If i were the girl this idiot was about to rip her book I would’ve beat him to a pulp!then i would’ve beat him even more for being so hateful!what i would like to know is why does he even try?you can’t take down twilighters even if you tried.i would love it if he was like that towards me!c’mon Kaleb just “accidentally”release his address!!!!

  401. Rene Hudson

    I counted 16! And he spells your name wrong. WOW! What a jerk. Some guys just can't handle how much of a success twilight is. So they search for twilight sites? That makes so much sense. HA! I love your site! :D

    I can't even believe this character had a girl friend!

  402. Rachel M.

    I know that this little contest was over quite a while ago, but I just wanted to say something:
    I was having a terrible day, and I came to this page to cheer me up. XD It worked. I just find something incredibly humorous about epic spelling fails such as this.
    Thanks for all of the entertaining posts, Kaleb!

  403. Madison

    Kaleb,
    you are so cool to be able to laugh this stuff off. I would be utterly hurt and angry. You have a really great since of humor. :-)

  404. liana

    Kaleb,
    I just love what you wrote. Some people would get so mad at this (neigh). (including me)
    But you just totally let it slide off you and make a great joke out of it. When i read what you wrote about offering him
    a shirt i nearly died laughing.
    hmm allow me to relate to him.
    Im sure we coud prolly goto ur house and kik ur dumm (neigh)…
    you're wonderful, Kaleb
    Continue on with your legacy.

  405. Haley_Mae

    OKAY DUDE We get it, you don't like the book, but that is no effing reason to bash others because they do. It's just a book get over. Jeez.

  406. Mallory

    Oh yes GJ. Why would any woman ever want a nice, sensitive, selfless, caring, intelligent, articulate, well mannered gentleman like Edward Cullen when we could have a brainless, know it all, clueless, chauvinistic pig like you? I repent of my former feelings towards Edward Cullen. Your wonderful letter has turned me around completely. Honestly!

  407. Mallory

    Oh yes GJ. Why would any woman ever want a nice, sensitive, selfless, caring, intelligent, articulate, well mannered gentleman like Edward Cullen when we could have a brainless, know it all, clueless, chauvinistic pig like you? I repent of my former feelings towards Edward Cullen. Your wonderful letter has turned me around completely. Honestly!

  408. Mickey Not Mouse

    LMAO forget spelling mistakes! OH GRAMMER POLICE! WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO! lol

    –Mickey

  409. Ari

    LOL! What a loser! You rock, Kaleb!

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