(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

Reading Twilight: Chapter 14 (Mind Over Matter)

June 9th, 2008 at 12:09 am by Kaleb Nation

The song for this chapter is First Time by Lifehouse (suggested by Czarina)

I know I should be studying for my abysmal college exam tomorrow, but as I’m sure you can relate, I’d much rather be getting to the next chapter of Twilight instead. It is like choosing between a can of mutant roaches or a vat of Reeses ice cream. Apologies to my professor. Twilight wins out.

Lo and behold, right off the first page of this chapter, Edward has become a chap I might enjoy hanging out with, simply because he listens to 50′s music. Granted, no one can tell that by the stuff I usually listen to, but hidden in my media player is more than a few tracks from Little Richard, like this one:

Or the ever famous shout for Lucille:

I can just imagine Edward twisting and shouting on the dance floor. Which makes me imagine Bella attempting to twist and shout on the dance floor, which would be the epitome of disaster. No, actually this would be the epitome of disaster:

Dancefloor Disaster

the look on my face says it all

Anyhow, as I continue reading (with Lucille blaring in my stereo), Bella is coincidentally having the same meal I am munching at this very moment, and the same meal which I warned The Lasagna Burglar about stealing again. I also realize that the Other Good Vampire Family lives in Alaska, and I was just recently there. I could have been staying in the clutches of vampires without even knowing it. Shudder.

This line is a premonition of the future, if not to be revealed in this book but in a future one:

(Edward talking about Alice) She knows other things. She sees things — things that might happen, things that are coming, but it’s very subjective. The future isn’t set in stone. Things change.”

His jaw set when he said that, and his eyes darted to my face and away (…).

Writers absolutely love this. The point behind this line is that Alice more than likely has already foretold something about Bella and Edward, but Edward doesn’t want to believe it. He is reassuring himself with this that whatever Alice foretold has a possibility of not happening. It is a small, hidden paragraph, but this tells loads of what is going to happen in the future: something has been foretold that might not turn out to be the best.

Something that I noticed specifically in this chapter is how much Bella and Edward talk about everything. There are quite literally few words left unspoken about what they are feeling. It is as if since they cannot just outright read each other’s minds, they have decided to voice what they are thinking, in a way to break down the barriers between them.

According to this, the #1 leading cause of divorce is the unwillingness to communicate lovingly. People just don’t talk (I can see girls pointing at their guys right now). However, for Bella and Edward, it’s very obvious to both of them (and us) how they feel about each other, because they actually say it to one another. Fellows: this is very important. There is a reason that 85% of a Twilight chapter is conversation and dialog between Bella and Edward, directly proportionate to the reason girls feel that Edward and them would make such a perfect couple.

The important thing to note is that conversation does not mean simply talking about what you want to say. As put by an email I recently got:

‘(…)wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to sit in a car with a guy and gush about Antonio Vivaldi, instead of, say, Grand Theft Auto IV?’ .

Also, another girl continues the thought with the reassurance:

‘If we could just get you to watch one chick flick with us (um, The Notebook, anyone?), we would be more than happy to leave you guys alone with whatever you want to do, no problem (…) and I wanna tell him, why don’t you freakin soften up the macho and say why you love me (like Edward, duh)?’

It’s not something that needs to monopolize your time: it’s just the fact that Edward at least puts out the effort. Many girls actually enjoy talking about GTA IV or sports, but as put by the second emailer later in her message: ‘not every single second of every single day of every single(…)occasionally, something different is what I’d like (to hear).‘. Bella and Edward have probably spoken on deeper levels than many married couples out there today, simply because they’re willing to communicate lovingly with each other.

On another note, thanks to Youtube, I can’t see Charlie’s name without picturing a grumpy unicorn and his irritating friends.

——NOTES——-

- I have two Mitch Hansen Band CD’s to give away this week from TwilightTeez.com, as well as the regular shirts. Mitch Hansen, as you may know, makes music based off Twilight. Anyone who comments here until the end of the week is entered.

- I absolutely must mention Novel Novice, which is a new Twilight site written by an 8th grade teacher. Right now, she’s doing a countdown of her favorite Top Twilight sites, and lo and behold– TwilightGuy.com got number 4 (and gasp, mayhaps even an offhanded comparison to Mr. Darcy?). Thanks Ms. Truitt!

- TwilightTeez.com is running some Twilight Guy specials in preparation for Father’s Day. You should check out some of their stuff! Lots of it was designed by fans or by Stephenie herself.

- The Fantastic TwiHards are trying to start a Mr. Fantastic TwiHard channel! Go check them out and message them if you’re interested in trying out :D

- I am up to May 28 on email replies. If you emailed me before then, check your bulk folder in case I was marked as spam.

- There are currently over 50 entries for the TeamTwilighter auditions on Youtube! If you haven’t put yours in yet, now’s the time. And while we’re talking about Youtube…I’ll have a new video soon. Subs to my channel see it the evening before, so if you’re on there you can subscribe here.


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223 Responses

  1. Rebecca

    I love that I refreshed the home page and amazingly enough you have just posted this! I love your insightfulness on the romance of these characters, it is a great depiction of their relationship.Yes women want help with their men and men don’t understand their women, and many men out there are not taking your amazing free advice! Shame on them for not processing what we and you are saying, if they would just come to terms and understand this is what we want then they wouldn’t have issues with their women! LOL. I will be discussing this and your views on chapter 13 in a podcast my friend and I are recording. It’s called Hale to the Cullens. Don’t you just love the play on words? Please check it out, at least for the mention of you in our next podcast! Anyways, keep the posts coming I am an avid fan!
    Rebecca

  2. Tara

    Edward twisting and shouting… Youtube video waiting to happen, anyone?

    As usual Kaleb, this post made me laugh, and it’s great to see how insightful you are. And let me just say, I’m impressed you’re getting any school work done at all. I can’t imagine how I would have coped if I had discovered Twilight while still in school.

  3. Jessica

    When reading Twilight, for the first time, the easy communication flowing between Edward and Bella was definiely an appeal to me. A lack of communication, especially bewteen loved ones, is one of my biggest pet peeves. So of course, this was all I needed to make Edward Cullen’s hold on my heart permanant.

    Poor boys…Edward Cullen has definitely raised the standards of girls everywhere.

  4. Brandi

    Love the insight on this chapter.
    really enjoyed what you have to say.
    Music: I am more a Jazz (Frank Sinatra) girl. lol.

    Excited about your youtube vid. I will keep an eye out.

    -B-

  5. Rachul

    Now I feel like a slight insider when I read your posts and imagine you laughing. Or talking in your Bella voice. Oh my! Have I said too much? XD

    PS. I want a CD but I know you can’t give me one, that is the only downfall!

  6. Paola

    I love what you had to say about this chapter it amazes me how insightful you are about relationships, any girl would lucky to have a man with such an insight as you. And any mother would be proud to raised a son to understand and treat women as ladies, which by the read of this chapter you already do.

  7. Emmy-lou

    yesterday I got asked out by a guy named Edward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    If things work out between us on the first date and he “dazzles” me, I’m going to make….i mean ask him to read twilight for me…..yay!!!!

    now I have to get through a entire night without cracking up about the fact that I’m dating a Edward…..

    AHHHH!!! I’m sooooo excited!!!
    he’s in for so much trouble!!lol

  8. SideKick

    Your website is one of my favorites. Just wanted to let you know.

    Oh, and… Charlie the Unicorn? It’s even better in other languages. Even if you don’t understand said languages.

  9. Melonie

    I know how you feel about procrastinating homework. I have three miserable projects due this week for finals and I just spend three hours catching up on So You Think You Can Dance (because I already finished re-reading Eclipse).

    Love the Lasagna Burgler sign. Growing up with three siblings I’m well versed on threatening signs to ward away food thieves. Sadly it only worked if I threatened the potential thieves with a slow, painful death. Simply writing my name on Said Food with a Sharpie didn’t work. Oh the joys of the community fridge!

  10. Sanne

    I really love the way you look at Twilight. Now I want to read it again.. argh.. I just gave it to a friend (you know, to spread the Twilight love). I can’t wait to have it back again!
    And thanks for letting us know about the Team Twilighter auditions. I auditioned and I can’t wait for the Team to be picked!

  11. Piper

    Lets go to the candy mountain Charlie

  12. Penny

    Whenever I’ve had a long, sad, and joyless day I come straight to twilightguy.com. Your website gives me a laugh and brightens my day.

    I think finding a guy who is as attentive, open to communication, and perfect as Edward Cullen is would also brighten my day. But since that it is not possible, I have twilightguy.com to keep me laughing!

  13. Penny

    P.S. – First Time by Lifehouse is an excellent choice! They are one of my all-time favorite bands, and that song fits chapter 14 perfectly!

  14. Shannon

    I already have the CD, but I had to comment anyway. Your You Tube reference makes me laugh. Chaaaaahlie!

    Sadly, because I have kids, whenever I read Charlie’s name in the book, I see the All Dogs Go to Heaven mutt. “Charlie, what are you doing? What’s that you have behind your back? Charlie! Don’t wind that watch! Chaaaarlie!”

  15. Caitlin

    haha
    That Charlie the Unicorn video haunts me…

    I just re-read this chapter yesterday. My mom was reading “Twilight” and this was where she had stopped (She’s done now though. :D ). I love your insight into the story, and how I get to see everything from a different perspective. :]

    Good luck on your exam today!

  16. Andrea

    Yes! Another chapter down for Kaleb! And a new twilight website unveiled!

    Anyway, I just have to say you are very smart guy(in every aspect). You really see things very clearly, things rarely escape your sight. It’s amazing how insightful and sentimental? you can be, being a guy and all (not trying to be sexist here). I see you as the classic gentleman of the 21st century. I enjoy your take on this book, and particularly like how you interpret this chapter and compare it with real-life relationships and how many simply perish due to a lack of communication, which of course means they don’t express what they feel, etc. And yes…once again, you are correct. That’s one of the trillions of reasons why we adore Edward Cullen. *sigh*…..

    So yeah, I loved this post (err…actually I love them all). Keep up the magnificent job!!!

  17. Hazel

    I tried to watch Charlie the unicorn 2 times. The first, I got to about 30 seconds in, before swiftly closing the window. The second, I made it to around 1:20, huzzah! Maybe if I try it one more time, I can make it to the 2 minute mark.

    I drool at the thought of Edward dancing in the 50s…. Oh crap, other people can read this *wipes mouth*.

  18. Shannon B

    Kaleb, you are so funny! :) your posts always make me laugh!

    You are also insightful and catch things that I haven’t catched (and I’ve read the dear sweet things thousands of times). I wish you would finish the book, and then I could have an insightful conversation with you. (I haven’t seen a guy who’s read twilight and hasn’t been really been disgusted with it’s romance, and can understand it.) You’re very smart.
    Props tah dah Kaleb-mastah!!!!! :)

    SO……now that I just said more than needed……….

    This is just a suggestion, but you should try reading the host (also by my idol Stephenie Meyer). It’s awesome! I loved it! But don’t try reading it at 2 am like i did…….I was so tired I was confusing host characters with twilight characters!

    I can’t wait until the next books, I’m curious to what you’re opinions will be to my favorite hot dog ;)

    HAHA shun the non-believer charlie. Shunnnnnnnnn!!!!!!

    oh and thank you – that’s all i’m going to be able to think about when I see the name Charlie.

    oh and please tell the lasagna burglar that if he/she comes again, I, along with your other fans, will come and kick his lasagna stealing butt! :)

    that’s all

    keep up the awesome posts and videos!!!!!!

  19. laura

    perhaps I am a minority here, but I wouldn’t mind talking about Grand Theft Auto IV. It’s cooler than talking about something cheesy, and having to force your boyfriend into saying ‘why’ he loves you. Really, love doesn’t have to be spoken about, as long as you know your boyfriend loves you.

    Just saying.

  20. melissahope

    “Oh, when you’re down and looking for some cheering up,
    Then just head right on up to the candy mountain cave.
    When you get inside you’ll find yourself a cheery land,
    Such a happy and joyful and perky merryland.
    They’ve got lollypops and gummy drop and happy things,
    Oh so many things that will brighten up your day.
    It’s impossible to wear a frown in Candy Town,
    It’s the mecca of love the candy cave.

    They’ve got jelly beans, and coconuts with little hats,
    Candy wraps, choco bats, it’s a wonderland of sweets.
    Ride the candy train to town and hear the candy band,
    Candy bells, it’s a treat as they march across the land.
    Cheery ribbons stream across the sky into the ground,
    Turn around, it astounds, it’s the dancing candy tree.
    In the candy cave imagination runs so free,
    So now Charlie please will you go into the cave.”

    That video is hilarious! When I first opened Twilight and saw that her dad’s name was Charlie, i randomly yelled,”CCCHHHAAARRRLLLIIIEEE!,” in my best unicorn voice…in the middle of English class! People just stared at first and then everybody burst out laughing! Then Kathryn screamed,”IT’S A LEOPLUREDON!” and before i could even begin to feel embarassed, people were singing the Candy Mountain song[as shown above] and talking like abnoxious unicorns!

  21. Samantha

    I love that little unicorn. To be honest, I had the sameproblem, but it gets better. i think of Charlie now as an Andy Griffith type of guy, so I forgot all about Candy Mountain.
    Anyway, your rant about Bella and Edward communicating is absolutely correct. Things are more convenient for them.

  22. Maddy

    haha charlie we’re going to candy mountain!

    i can so see bella saying that…

  23. Cassia

    Another chapter down! I’m one of those girls who likes shopping and videogames (I know, the planet probably should have exploded or something by now). And the thought of Edward dancing to fifties music just makes me laugh hysterically!

  24. Lara

    I love how Edward and Bella communicate.
    They genuinely want to know everything about eachother..
    and the fact that edward actually cares is such a turn on.
    Why cant all guys be like that?
    To show that they care that much.. all the girls would be swooning! =]

  25. twilight22lover

    this is weird, but i can probably recite the entire charlie the unicorn video from memory. :) just another one of my weird talents. :D

  26. Kimberley

    O.o Mitch Hanson.

    I love how you dig deep into things and guess whats going to happen next.
    The whole time you were talking about being in Alaska, I would think “Just wait. You just wait.” And then… now you know.

    Why oh why must Stephenie Meyer ruin my chance on guys. hmm? talks to herself: “Jasper does not exist, Kim.” *breathe* Okay.

  27. hazel

    i love your observation in this chapter :)

  28. liv

    i totally agree if only guys were as forward about their emotions as edward there would be a lot less divorce and a lot more happy women in the world, its really only mind over matter isnt it? (lol, soz)
    i’m in love with edward, i just only wish he’d express his feelings to someone other than Bella…

    ahh communication

  29. C.N.F.A.C

    Edward twisting and shouting…Hm. I have to make a mental note to thank the Twilight Guy for putting that image in my mind. Anyways, I love it how you GET it K., some other guy could read it and think that the reason his Girlfriend made them read it so they could know they were being dumpped for a person like Edward/Edward himself, but they dont relize how easy it would be to be like Edward(besides the vampireness..)

  30. dayna

    mr. darcy!!! as in Pride and Prejudice mr. darcy?!?!

    you mean as they mention in twilight? i don’t know if you’ve read that yet, but it’s not a big part so i’m not spoiling anything.

  31. KC

    OK.. so I just had to write about my “Candy Mountain” Story… surprisingly, it is much the same as _melissahope_ above… accept that we were reading a different book for class work and apparently I was the only one who knew what I was talking (well technically, shouting) about. So basically I was just left grinning like an idiot at my private joke and EVERYBODY else in the room was looking at me as if asking “What planet are you from…?” If somebody actually asked that, I most definitely would have replied “Well duh, CaNdY MoUnTaIn!!!” Anyway I got a great kick out of it because I was the only one who knew of that great video. To bad they are all missing out! =]

    Oh.. And I’m so happy some guy actually understands all that goes on between Edward and Bella.

    *KC*

  32. Sam

    Candy Mountain, Charlieeee! >.>

    Kind of like how I can’t hear Mama Cass singing “Make Your Own Kind of Music” without the mental image of Henry Ian Cusick taking a shower, doing chin-ups, riding an exercise bike…

    Yeah, there are some guys besides Edward worth obsessing over! XD

    I’m continuing to love your reading of Twilight, especially the bits you catch with your writer’s eye. :)

  33. Jen

    Edward and Bella doing the twist would e hilarious!!! And congrats on being number 4 on Novel Novice! You deserve it!

  34. Abby

    Well, he kind of did twist and shout when he ran and … later.
    What do people think of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart playing Edward and Bella?

  35. SnoWhite

    HA!!
    Charlie the Unicorn.
    Awesome.
    I’ve been thinking of that as I’ve read the books too…
    “We’re on a bridge, Chaaaarlliiieee!”
    “Shun the non-believer!”

  36. Teresa

    Love your point when it comes to Alice…might I say your correct? And don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough. So keep reading!!

    Are you posting your ideas on the the Breaking Dawn cover any time soon?

  37. Danni

    Ok. Just went and watched the Charlie the unicorn thing. It is awesome! lol And now I can’t think of Charlie without seeing the unicorn. Thank you Kaleb. Thank you very much.

  38. Syd

    I never really realized why it was I adored Edward so much, but now that you mention it, the communication thing is a big one.
    Personally though, I’d love to talk about Grand Theft Auto IV for an extended period of time. But that’s just me. :)

    And ahhh yes, Charlie the Unicorn. Hahaha, so great.

  39. Katie ~

    And another insightful (as so many have already said) post by Kaleb! Jeez, you really have girls pegged for what we want. You’re completely right about the communication thing- all girls want their guys to talk to them. Most guys groan at the whole “feelings” talk, but it doesn’t have to be “mushy gushy”. All we girls want is guys to talk to us like they really care. It’s the little things that count, and Edward is almost perfect at noticing the little things about Bella. Edward isn’t a sissy, and yet he still communicates with Bella. Real guys need to learn the balance of being one of the guys and also spending time with their girlfriend just talking.

  40. Saribel

    The only thing funnier then imagining Bella and Edward *trying* to do the twist is imagining them trying to Disco. Oh! And I can’t wait to see who makes Team Twilighter

  41. Corinne

    COMMENT!!
    yeah, well, come on Kaleb! i’m trying REALLY hard not to send you another email since there’s already so many in your inbox from me, but it’s getting increasingly difficult. i even sent you an idea about curing Bella’s danger magnetosis… or whatever it was called. :D oh, and by the way, thanks a lot for mentioning Charlie the Unicorn. i had avoided that comparison because i read Twilight long before i saw that video, and now i’m going to think of that every time. Thanks.

    Corinne!

  42. Alex R.

    I agree. Edward and Bella have such a good relationship since they talk ALL the time. And she always ends up telling him whats on her mind. I love Charlie the Unicorn! Its soo funny. Although i never thought of bellas dad looking remotely similar to a unicorn…
    I would love to see edward and bella do the twist. that would probably be the weirdest thing to see…ever.

  43. Heather

    I love reading this blog – you have a refreshing perspective on the series!

  44. Elizabeth

    Its so great to see that a guy understands what a girl really wants. Edward is exactly what every girl dreams about when they think of the “perfect” guy. We just want a guy who isn’t afraid to share their feelings and it doensn’t hurt to let us know that they think about us once in a while. My fiance really needs to read this book.

  45. Holly

    I just love coming to this site and seeing new post from you!! It makes my day, of course. But, I have to admit, not as much as reading Twilight does, but it’s REALLY close!!

  46. KL

    I love what you have to say! Your insight into why we all LOVE Edward makes me smile :) Any girl out there would be lucky to be dating you!

  47. Samantha

    I love reading what you think on twilight.

    I have a guy friends that I have reading the book and he really likes it. Maybe I’ll have him write his Twilight story to you. that would be awesome!

  48. Lourdes Sinclair

    You mentioned Vivaldi and 50′s music in your post. For me, that’s grounds for a crush. haha. Anywho, can you recommend some 50′s artists? I can’t seem to find them, though I’m probably not looking hard enough.

  49. Jen

    Charlieee…. Charlie… I watched the spanish version one day, it was HILARIOUS! Carlooooss… hehe.

    I love Twilight.

  50. Jenny

    Haha, i love all your insights to every chapter. Some of them are very hilarious! I really can’t wait until you move on to the second book. Thats going to be interesting to read about from you.

  51. georgesaysyousuck

    you are stupid and GAY. i am a guy and you are a f@ggot we care about f@cking girls and getting l@id and hot chiks and that is it and if you say otherwise you must be a f@G or retarted. i bet you never even had a date you homeschooled f@kup because nobody would go out with a freak. try going to real school and maybe you will get l@id and spend your time doign that instead of writing your bullsh@t. twilight sucks you suck your site sucks

  52. twilightgeek

    Edward Cullen is definitely the new Mr. Darcy! But I just finished reading The Host and Ian O’Shea gives those two a run for their money! And I’d venture a guess that you, Kaleb Nation, do too! Thanks for the great insights!

  53. DazzleMeEdward

    omg ur awesome Kaleb =]

    on another note : chapter 14 is really an amazing follow up chapter to chapter 13. it glides along nicely from where chapter 13 left off, and Bella is introduced more to Edward’s family.

    good insights,Kaleb!! keep on doing what your doing ^.^ keep up the good work!!!

  54. Amanda

    Lol. Kaleb, you pretty much have the right idea. I’m not going to tell you anything because I know the feeling of someone ruining a book, movie, etc. :P
    Also, a song that goes well with Twilight (in my humble opinion) is MakeDamnSure by Taking Back Sunday. It would probably fit better with an earlier chapter :P Oh well. Have fun reading more! It seems like that’s what occupies most of your time nowadays (reading Twilight, reading college text, reading comments, reading e-mails, you get the point. Lol).

    Adios!

  55. Erin

    All I can say is that was great! Keep up the good work Kaleb :)

  56. koop

    love these synopsis of twilight chapters by you and i love charlie the unicorn…well actually i find him very irritating but he is funny. lets go to candy mountain charlie! lol makes me laugh

  57. Meghan

    I adore this site! My best friend has been bugging me to gon on this site for weeks now and this weekend I finall did!! She kept telling me how funny the twilight guy was and she didnt do twilight guy justice. I am officall caught up with all the entries and check the site frquently for updates. (My bffl and I are in Science class right now and we just had to check!) I love the twilight guy’s take on twilight, Twilight guy has notice things about Edward that I didnt even notice and I read all three books so many times!!! THanks Twilight guy for making my bffl and I hilarously all the time and keep reading!

  58. Erin

    i adore the pictures that go along with the posts. they are hilarious.

    Kaleb, im surprised at you. you didnt even mention the whole sleeping together thing. i figured you would be all over that. lol

  59. Megs

    It has taken a few years, but I have finally gotten my husband to discuss things more deep that action movies etc. It really does strengthen your relationship to know that he cares that YOU care. Maybe I’ll start calling him Edward one of these days….

  60. heather

    #51 (george), you are just an idiot. Kaleb is more man than you ever will be. Go back to your playboys and keep wishing you’ll one day get half the girls who love him. when he is a millionare author maybe he will let you clean his pool. swallow some of the scrubbing soap to clean your mouth out while you do.
    Kaleb, looks like you have another animal for your farm. Keep writing and ignore this (oink)ing snort and all his pig friends!

  61. Alejandra~

    You surprise me!! you really do, i never thought a guy could understand edward and furthermost women!! I think you understand us better than I do!! I mean, I write also, and I realized all the things you did when I read the book for the first time, but it is very nice to look at it from your point of view!! It’s really interesting! VERYY!! I like the way you manage to put your thought into words, thats not easy for everyone!! keep it up!! I’m dying to read your book! =P haha

  62. Amy

    Edward: We’re taking Bella to Candy Mooooouuuuuntain Chaaaaaaaaarlieeeee!

    Couldn’t help myself…

    It’s neat that you use the words “breaking down barriers” in regards to communication. My pastor had guidelines for when we wrote our wedding vows, and one of them was to make sure we promised to always break down any barriers in communication that we may someday have. It is one of the things I love about the books :D

  63. Mandy el Fanpire

    WOW. I’ve read the book a million times, but I never really realized how much Edward and I have in common! I love classical music, and I wanna be in the 50′s so friggin bad! I need a guy like that! I bet most guys in the world have Edward in them, but they just stereotype him as a sissy and become macho jerks. And those are the guys that get dates! Ugh!

  64. Risa (Riss-uh) C

    Yet again…you have a wonderful insight to this book. It makes me very happy to see a guy actually spend some time reading a “girly” book (though I don’t think this book technically deserves that title–”girly”–it unfortuantely tends to be looked upon as such.)
    I really love how Edward and Bella communicate. I’m huge on communication. I’m also very honest and forthright, so it’s important to me that my future mate will have the same qualities. I’m currently re-reading Twilight (for possibly the hundredth time…okay, more like eleventh or twelfth) and I’m noticing more at how, not only do they say what they’re feeling, but they’re honest to the point that, even if it hurts you, I need to tell you because I need to be honest with you. You know what I mean? And I really appreciate that. I’ve always thought that truth that hurts is something I would much rather hear than lies that were told just because “I knew you wanted to hear it”–don’t tell me something just because you think I want to hear it; tell me something honest, something real…even better, tell me something that you know I want to hear that also qualifies as honesty. I love that.
    Okay, anyway…awesome post. I can’t wait to read the next one!

  65. Jenna

    I think that their communication in the beginning is the reason I love Twilight the most out of the series.

    And you know, Bella understands how hard it is for Edward to not be able to hear every thought passing through her head, so she just says most things out loud. They actually mention it…that she doesn’t “edit much,” but its enough to drive Edward crazy.

    Finally, GOOD CATCH. There are a lot of little things that Edward does that drop hints about what Alice has seen or what he’s thinking. I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL MIDNIGHT SUN to see just how many there are and what is running through his mind.

  66. vesper

    Go 50′s music!!! It deffinitely would be very hard for me to picture Edward dancing to that, but he is amazing at everything sooo…

    I very much agree with the communictaion factor between Edward and Bella. It is what makes every girl want to be in Bella’s seat because an amazing man/ vampire is actually talking about thing they would want to talk about.

    Also without giving anything away the stuff about alice seeing the future is right on and I cannot wai tfor Breaking Dawn to see if her vision’s of Bella become true.

  67. vesper

    wow and the guy that wrote comment number 51 is a loser… I would like to know if he has every had a rleation ship that wasn’t based off sex alone… which is extremely pathetic. And I am sure no girl enjoys being referred to as a f-ing girl or a hot chik…

  68. Icy Topaz

    That is TOTALLY true, Kaleb. Relationships are difficult and require you to work hard for the other person. It depends upon YOU, not the other person. But people are so selfish these days and too prideful to say sorry and try to fix things. It’s sad.

    You’re one of those few, rare people who understand the world, Kaleb. It’s why you’re a writer. It’s why you’re so successful with your blog. I am now giving you a high-5 for awesome writers everywhere. ^_^ (Not that I’ve finished my own stories yet… Hopefully within 6 months, though.)

  69. Katie

    Little Richard + Charlie the Unicorn + pic of you disco-ing (is that a real word? haha) + quite accurate insight into the minds of girls (well done, I applaud you! :D ) = one freaking awesome post. Thanks for keeping us all entertained!

    Dude, and I think GJ’s name is George? hah. Whoever wrote number 51…. um. Surrrrre. You go ahead and keep telling yourself that, okay? :D

  70. Minh-Thu

    I totally agree with this whole communication thing. People today aren’t able to talk about their feelings. If you want someone to know how you feel, then you must say it. You can’t expect people to see how you feel. We girls love EC because he can talk and listen. That’s something that guys should learn.

    To George (comment #51):
    Why are you HERE? It’s a TWILIGHT site. This site isn’t about “getting l@id”.And life isn’t about intercourse. I bet that you wouldn’t get one girl after you tell them you insulted Kaleb Nation. I agree with heather (comment #60). We all love Kaleb, because he understands what’s going on in the girls’ minds. Go back to your Playboys!

    Kaleb, please read chapter 15 soon. Can’t wait to hear what you think about all the other chapters.

  71. Jessie

    Lol, that Charlie the Unicorn film is epic xD
    And I love how you again understood what is so special about Twilight.^^

    Keep going on like this! :)

  72. Chelsea

    Ha! I agree about Charlie the Unicorn. That video poisons my mind.

    Mitch Hansen rules the world.

  73. April

    In agreeence(if thats not a word than i made it up) to what you have said Kaleb, I feel that is exactly what us girls are feeling and why we love edward so much. In fact, maybe you should write a book about all the things you have learned from Twilight. Of course not mentioning the “Twilight” until the end of the book so the guys can read the book before they learn where you found all this information from. It would provide nessessary information for all the “lost” guys in their love life. And you have a way you put it in that average guys language so they can understand (Since you have a super power that lets you know how we feel). I would totally love it if you did. OH AND DID I MENTION THAT I LOVE FREE STUFF!!!!!! I WOULD LOVE TO WIN SOMETHING!!!!!!! (hint hint(if you don’t get what im trying to say): PICK ME!!!!!)

  74. April

    Oh and thank you VESPER (i hope you read this) for your respect!!! #51!! YEAH IM TALKING TO YOU!!! You have…. lets see…3, no 4 books to read about how girls really want their guy to be!!! Guessing that you have trouble reading and writing after looking at what you said, i think it would take you that long to read the books until the fourth, and final book comes out. Im going to have a moment of silence…………*book in right hand and covering heart* *Sniffle*

  75. Elise

    I agree w/those girls if a guy would just REALLY sit and talk to us, it’d be nice. (watching a chick flick w/us couldn’t hurt either:)

  76. Megan

    i agree that if a guy would sit and talk to us. i mean seriously talk with us. i and thousands of other girls would LOVE that. by the way i love reading what all you have to say about the chapters in twilight. i really like your view and perspective on it. you rock! and so does the mitch hansen band!

  77. Sarah

    Kaleb…. you need to be put in front of an audience of guys who have girl troubles and explain to them what they need to do xD

    AND YES! CHARLIE THE UNICORN!!!
    Have you seen the second one yet? hehe

  78. Kirsten

    Great job again this week! I love how you totally understand why every girl on the planet love Edward, but unfortunately I have come to accept the fact that the likeliness of any man actually learning from Edward is high. I do think that guys could do a better job actually communicating with girls…I also really like when I notice the little author secrets in books (it’s my favorite part). Keep up the great work!

  79. Aurielle

    Candy Mountain Charlie!

    haha. Last night, the film Yours, Mine & Ours was on TBS and ever since someone mentioned Dennis Quaid as their Charlie, that’s all I see him as. (Plus, the actress who plays his wife in the movie is named Renee…)

    I love Mitch Hansen<3

  80. Kirsten

    Sorry! In comment 78 I meant to say that it is NOT high that guys will learn from Edward or become Edward…sorry!

  81. Andrea

    Yay! I’m glad that you, as a guy, pick up what girls really want in a guy. Since you have been observing Edward’s actions so closely, have you made any personal changes when it comes to talking or acting a certain way towards the ladies?

  82. Jocelyn

    you are so right about this chapter. I love it.

  83. Joy

    I hate to admit this, but you’re really good with Twilight. You actually UNDERSTAND it. Are you sure you haven’t taken girl lessons before? I’m getting suspicious. OO__OO

  84. Jenny

    You have officially gotten Edward and why girls like him so much! See why won’t guys just listen?! We keep telling them but it just seems to go in one ear and out the other. Kaleb I love reading your blog everyday. Thanks so much for not listening to those macho guys and coming to your own conclusions about the book. It is refreshing to read an opened minded guy’s honest opinion.

    By the way I got to go see the Mitch Hansen band the other night in concert and they were amazing! I hope I win!

  85. Kellie

    Wow, I love that I found this site. You are doing such a fantastic job at analyzing this book. Making me think about stuff I haven’t thought of/ about before, thank you for that! I am going to bookmark this page and check often!

    Keep on reading!

  86. Collette

    i agree completely with your analysis of this chapter… Communication is key! my boyfriend and i have been together for almost three years now, and have not missed talking to each other every night once! I’d have male friends ask just how we could talk for so long every night (up to 5 hours was our goal) and i told him we just never run out of things to talk about to each other. After so long together our conversations have changed from very light-hearted to even deeper discussions about our relationship and the world we live in. i’ve seen many a relationship fail because people (mainly the macho male half) refuse to actually talk to each other; but most relationships that seem to last are those that communicate. my boyfriend and i do have our share of troubles – we fight like everyone else – but we never hold grudges and we never go to bed angry. And yes, i’m slowly bribing him to read twilight. i told him i’d watch all the terminator movies if he reads one chapter, i think i may just have him hooked!

  87. Stine

    Love your analysis! Both your thoughts on the Edward /Bella relationship and your ability to always catch the important clues in the story really impresses me. You’re a very perceptive guy! And not to mention, other guys have a lot to learn from you… ;)

    Enjoy the next chapter – it’s time to meet the family!

  88. Annie

    lol. i’m taking a break from studying for my exams too. and i would like to read twilight again, but i read it last month, so i need to wait a while.

  89. Ashley

    Edward dancing? That would just be truly amazing. And you can’t get much better than 50s dancing, you really can’t. All of the dancing going on today scares me. That’s not dancing, people! That’s awkward wiggling! And very, very closely to each other at that…
    Anyway! It’s truly amazing how you actually UNDERSTAND things like this. You get that *gasp* talking WORKS and that girls don’t just talk about mindless drabble all of the time! We actually can and want to have conversations about things that aren’t about cars or video games. Sure, they are nice occasionally, but ALL THE TIME is just crazy. AND THEN once you start to zone out and start ignoring the ramble about the whatever about the car, they get all grumpy. It’s a *facepalm* moment. Sometimes I think guys are more confusing than girls.
    How much would it cost to get you to come and try to drill your awesome knowledge into the minds of every single guy at my school?
    Aha, Charlie the Unicorn. Thank you for forever putting that mental image in my head when I think of Charlie now, and having the “Candy mountain, Charliieeee” squeaky voice playing over and over.
    Must finish celebrating my birthdayyy.
    Can’t wait until chapter 15!!!

  90. bookgirlluvstwilight

    Haha! I could just imagine Bella trying to do the Twist. It would end with many injuries to herself and others. Not that I’d be much better…. I don’t really think Edward is the kind of guy to go out on the dance floor and start twisting and shouting. I think he would rather do something much…um…slower and smoother.

    Girls really would like to talk about their feelings, but some would rather talk about books like me. :) I like your taste in music! I have a lot of friends that like the Jonas Brothers *shudder* and don’t know that Bob Dylan is a good singer and song writer.

    I need some help. I want to try and get some friends to read Twilight. The only people I know that have read Twilight is my mom, aunt, some middle schoolers at my schoool that I don’t really know, and all of you Twilighters.

    Friends (I will not use real names):
    Mia: non-fiction,realistic-ficton; Chicken Soup for The Teenage Soul or Princsess Diaries
    Megane: Midnighters, Uglies Trilogy, The City of Ember books

    Please help! My friends are stuborn, but in a good way! :)

    Stevie was here

  91. Sara

    ooh…Bella on the dance floor does not sound like a good idea – getting mental image of Bella falling backward into someone and knocking over everyone like dominoes until the refreshment table is overturned and Edward wonders whether Bella looks better with or without the punch bowl on top of her head…

  92. Stephanie

    I don’t comment often, but I’m a devoted stalker.. >.> I mean, watched. Yes. That has a nicer connotation.

    The Mitch Hansen band is quite awesome. I find myself singing the song about Jacob sometimes while re-reading the books. Haha.

    Funny story.

    I wanted the special edition of Eclipse, but I didn’t get it because money is tight now, and I did seek out a hardback Twilight just to match my set, so I went to walmart today just to read the chapter of Breaking Dawn.

    Yeah. It’s that bad. I had my nose stuck in a book, and because I was in the store, not buying the book, I ended up walking around in crafts like I was trying to find something.

    Somehow, I ended up with yarn and a loom. Guess Stephanie’s going to learn how to crochet now. >>

  93. mehek

    honestly kaleb, whenever i think about edward and bella talking i think of this song by jennifer love hewitt, called i’m gonna love you. she wrote herself for the second hunch back of notre dame movie, which was direct to video, so most of the people i talk to about this song have no idea what its about. its really really cute and it speaks perfectly about edward and bella’s relationship.
    i would also like to thank you kaleb, this site is really tiding me over for the wait of the new book. THANK YOU!!!!

  94. Angelina

    Exactly! Chapter 13 is my favorite chapter out of the book because Edward finally opens up. I love how thy communicate together and never frget to tell eachother how they feel.

    ….Challliiiieee….. hahahahaha I love that! I saw that video awhile back and u mentioning that was hilarious ^_^

  95. Annie

    By the way….. Kaleb, you could possibly become the living equivalent of edward by putting your observations to work. If only you could get the whole Dazzling and sparkling in the sun thing going on (unless you secretly do already) you could be Edward!

  96. Emmy

    I would love to see Edward dancing to fifties music.

    Another humorously insightful post, Kaleb. Nice job – I love this site!

  97. zeline

    I absolutely agree with your view of relationships..It really is all about communication. It doesn’t even have to be lovely:D Thank you so much for reading the Twilight books from your male point of view..and so openly:D It’s really interesting.

  98. Arockr

    haha, I always think of Charlie the unicorn too :P

  99. Mackenzie

    Haha, Charlie the Unicorn. :D

    This is one of my favourite chapters in the book! I loved your post, too; you actually understand Twilight…!

    Good luck with your exam. :)

  100. Fawndear

    Love your Twilight guy site. I’m the mom to a half dozen who is begging my Mike Newtonish Husband to read the series. In order to better understand my Twilight Obsession. So far your web page is the only thing he finds interesting. Someday…

  101. Travis

    Why are girls so surprised when guys like and understand Twilight? >.>
    Stupid other guys who us Twilight Guys a bad name…

  102. April

    You actually understand what us girls feel when we read this novel. I don`t think it is you english intuition, but the “little man” inside of you. :]

    I got my boyfriend to read Twilight, and instead of getting hints from Edward … he fell in love with Bella. He says I should be more like Bella so then he could act more like Edward. I also found him reading going to your website, so he could “understand” the chapter better and we can have an “intellectual” talk. Thank you.

  103. Joanne Maria

    HEY- you always crack me up..Is there a link to NOVEL NOVICE??? I would like to check it out. Kaleb, thanks for the funniness

  104. Mara-Kate

    Haha another great post Kaleb, if only the guys of the world could be more like you and actually UNDERSTAND what Edward is saying. Finally I shoved Twilight into the guy friend who most needed it, (its my 2nd copy lol so I’m not too worried) but I hope he doesn’t turn out like GJ! I’m hoping to turn him into you lol (or at least your understanding of Edward) And ugh I know what you mean about the Charlie unicorn, I was the same way until they picked the actor playing him in the movie, now that’s all I see!
    Keep up the work! You’re doing great! :)

  105. Emily

    You’re sit is amazing. I totally agree with you and think more guys should be like Edward.
    I know a guy who said he was going to “dazzle” me by taking me to a meadow and taping lit sparklers to himself to make himself seem more like Edward so I would go out with him.
    I know what you mean about Charlie the Unicorn. For a while, my sister watched that all day, so no matter where I went all I heard was “Charlie… Charlie… Charlieeeeee…”

  106. Shannon

    Lifehouse is my favorite band in the whole world! I always compared some of their music to Twilight. I’m glad to know someone else feels the same! Excellent insight… I never thought of it that way.

  107. Teenuh.

    Ditto on the Charlie thing.

    And I twist and shout all the time. An extra broken rib is the gift it gives to me everytime.

  108. Sara(Yeah there's many of us)

    LMAO! Haha…Charile the Unicorn! LMAO! That’s ok I keep pictureing the Twilight characters like anime characters for some reason I can’t see them human, and that bugs me…lol

  109. Maxine

    Your first paragraph describes me when I was studying for my college finals for spring semester to a T. I had to read the whole series in such a short period of time, because I knew that if I didn’t finish it I would be thinking about Bella and Edward more than US History to 1877.

    I love reading your entries, because, I like reading on the surface most of the time, not so much “AP English” style(which by the way isn’t bad, I’m just not good at it), so you telling us what you think the deeper meaning is, or singling out details and expanding on them is great. Plus, you’re trying to help out the guys with how to be more like Edward, which is always good. =]

  110. Loonyxoxlovegood

    Oh, thanks! now every time i read it, i’ll think of charlie the unicorn! =P
    I love your website! <3

  111. Arielle

    Teeheehee…I literally laughed for like ten minutes after you mentioned Bella twisting and shouting on the dance floor. That image won’t get out of my head for a while. :-)

    Yeah more guys should try a chic movie or chic book once and a while. I mean, I withstand endless conversations with my guyfriend about movies he likes, but the minute anything remotely romantic comes up…

  112. Rachel

    Wow, Kaleb. You really understand everything this book is about! I love reading your blog because I can hear some serious thoughts on Twilight and get a laugh, thanks for that!

  113. Shelley b.

    So I have to say that I love the choice in music and I could only imagine Bella trying to do the twist!!

    Also, I thought your last blog has been the best so far but I have to say that they continue to get even better. You hit chapter 14 to a perfect T.

    Thanks so much for all the laughs. Now you should go study for your exam.

  114. Claire

    Haha, another great post Kaleb.
    Funny while insightful.

    Good luck with your exam, and congratulations on your spot at Novel Novice’s Top Twilight Sites!

  115. Venice

    I love your insights in all of these chapters.
    It gives me a new perspective on things, ya know.
    Thanks for doing this. I dig it. Haha.

    Charlieeeee <3
    One of the best videos ever, I must admit. xD

  116. Cassandra

    Ahhh Edward and his ahmazing Communication skills if only there was classes to teach other men how to talk.

    Edward 101-
    Edward-”Now…Repeat after me, You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.”
    Guys in class-”You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.”

    hahaha oh if only.

  117. Andrea

    i really love your down-to-earth-ness on all of these subjects. ur so original and its a breath of fresh air that a guy is publically [weblically i guess] announcing his devotion to Twilight and Stephenie Meyer’s other books.
    Are you going to read Host?

  118. Sam

    Ms. Truitt completely likened you to Mr. Darcy – it wasn’t even offhand, it was fully onhand. And it is much deserved. I also think you might actually BE Edward Cullen. But we can keep that on the DL.

    Woo, my email! I’m glad I could help reinforce/qualify your point – especially one that I agree with so vehemently. …even though the fact that I mentioned Vivaldi and GTA in the same sentence still makes me feel as if I may have in fact reached a new level of nerdiness. Grimace/cringe.

    I think that the E/B conversations are not only the (obvious) best parts of the books when it comes to character/relationship building, but they’re also my favorite parts as far as Stephenie’s writing goes. She’s fantastic at writing dialogue! That’s not something you can say about most of the other writers in the YA fantasy genre. Or even just in general. Dialogue takes skill.

    Also, thanks for always choosing ice cream over kung-fu roaches.

  119. Dani

    Kaleb-
    You get it! You really get it!
    I have loved reading your take on the beloved book, it’s always nice to have a guys perspective. My husband and 18 yr-old son have both read the books, but haven’t been very useful in the discussion arena. I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed. They both liked the books well enough, but I don’t think they “got it” like you did. You rock!

  120. Andrea

    Thank you for being open-minded enough to grasp the concept of communication…I wish more guys would read Twilight, just to understand girls better at the very least.

  121. Leanne

    Ahaha Edward twisting and shouting. And it’s true, lack of communication can royally eff up any relationship. Not that I’ve had any serious relationships, but I’ve watched it happen with my friends. That’s why I think more guys should read Twilight. :)

  122. Twilighters.Org | For the Obsessed Twilight Saga Fan - Breaking Dawn - Forums - Gallery - New Moon - Eclipse -Stephenie Meyer - Updates, News & more!

    [...] TwilightGuy talks about Chapter 14: Mind Over [...]

  123. Becca

    I’m glad you really like Twilight =] I tried getting this guy who sits next to me (he’s an avid reader) to read it over the weekend…

    He got to page 250 (around Chapter 13 xD) and gave it back to me and said that his eyes were bleeding and that it was a horrible book =P

    Ah well I tried and at least he made an effort lol I wish there were more high school guys like you xD

  124. Lauren

    Oh boo Edward. Whatever.

    AH! Charlie the Unicorn :D No way! I never thought about that. Aha that was crazy. Who thinks of things like that?

    And p.s. whoever said something about The Notebook: I love you.
    Best. Movie. Ever.

  125. Emmy-lou

    Jackob Black…..she’s not coming back……grrrr….i don’t have that cd yet!

  126. inmortal

    CHAAAAHLIEEEE!!! LET’S GO TO THE CANDY MOUNTAIN!!! AHAHAHAHHA That unicorn made me laugh out load the first time I watched it LOL And I’m still laughing after watching it again.

    oh greatttt chapter 14 already. I’m re-reading the first chapters of Twilight. I think I will pass you again LOL.

  127. Deja

    Yeah I watched the Charlie the Unicorn video that’s all I thought about..anyways you are really spot on about why we love Edward..and why we love Twilight! I can’t wait to hear more from you!!

  128. Natasha

    You’re awesome, you know.

  129. Amy

    Seriously, this post was amazing simply because you got great music and Charlie in there.

    But also you did make a good point about Edward. It is true. That is why we love Edward. I also agree with you when you say Bella and Edward have talked more and more personal than more married couples. Because the sad part is, you’re most likely right.

  130. Jessie

    good job. you get pretty much everything i’d say.

  131. Macy

    I have to say that your insight as to why girlsare so in love with Edward is fairly spot on. the communication between Bella and Edward is something that I think every couple should have. It is refeshing to know that there is at least one guy out there in the world that realize what Edward is doing correctly to make himself so appealing to girls. I only wish that more guys would follow your advice and example and read Twilight!!!!

  132. Anne

    See, this is one of the reasons I’m really glad this site was created. I don’t really understand why being a gentleman (even if it’s only from time to time) is so hard for guys to do! Like, if we ask a guy to go do something that they don’t really want to do, remember all the times we went to the monster truck races and when we waited outside with you at ungodly hours in the morning to get your hands on the latest gaming system. I personally try not to complain, so I think it’s only fair that you do the same! And I know for a FACT that Edward would never complain. At least, not on the outside.

  133. Britt

    I would so love to see Edward dancing to Little Richard. That would be halarious.

    And you are completely right on that as women we want men to talk more. Bella and Edward have an amazing relationship already in this chapter. They sort of have love on a different, more enlightened level.

    More guys should take note of what Edward does and copy him! lol =]

  134. Megan

    So you know, Edward dancing would be lovely to watch.

    But that’s not what I wanted to talk about :D

    So my boyfriend is about as sweet as boyfriends come, and recently he took me 300 miles to see my family, and I brought along his untouched copy of Twilight (that I had him buy quite awhile ago). After listening to loud music, I asked him if he wouldn’t mind me reading aloud. And lo and behold! My boyfriend now asks me to read aloud to him almost every chance he gets! He likes to say it’s just because I read well out loud, but I know it’s because he’s interested in the story, and he even (although slightly) mentioned it.

    So yay! Next step is: Making him go to http://www.twilightguy.com!

  135. Dylan

    OMG I can’t belive how well you nderstand these books! I’m dazzled! lol

    I want that CD!

  136. Kine

    haha. i really enjoy the things you pick up from the chapter. now…if we could only get a guy to be “twilight guy” guy.

    writing guy a lot makes it seem like some kind of seafood.

    anyyyy wayyy.

    you’re funny.

  137. Breana

    I agree, everyone absolutly has to check out Novel Notice. I love the music selection it has playing on the side. I left a window of it open just playing for nearly an hour.:)

  138. Kendow

    In the occasion that both Edward and Jacob are unavailable at the conclusion of Breaking Dawn, can I marry YOU?

  139. Twilight Series Theories » Twilight Guy ~ Chapter 14

    [...] The Twilight Guy has posted his take on Chapter 14, Mind Over Matter!  To read it, click here! [...]

  140. Ann

    How are you so hilarious and so insightful at the same time?! Its very impressive!

    P.S. I’m glad that the Alaskan vampires let you live

  141. Maureen

    I must say that I love this website. It is very good, and i love reading the posts and how witty they are, and really wish some of my guy friends would be this open-minded. This is what one of them said when Edward was mentioned in a picture on facebook…
    “I never want ot be associated with this Edward ever again; including picture comments. I’m going to write a book called “DUSK” and it will be about how this Edward comes to a fateful end at the hands of a heatstriken deck-builder with a nailgun and a skill saw. That’s all I have to say.”
    Though very witty, and quite hilarious, I think it could help to be a little more accepting.
    Aside from that, Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s great and I love reading your take on twilight and all its chapters, and it gives me a new perspective on a couple things.

  142. Lari

    OMGoodness! You finally have seen Charlie the Unicorn! Yay! I love that! My friend and I talked with those annoying voices for a week and a half! And could act out the whole thing entirely without mistakes.

    You should search: Dramatic Reading of a Breakup Letter. That one is hil-ar-i-ous! I love that one, and then click on Dramatic Reading of a Youtube Comment in the related box thingy and then click on what it was a response to, then watch that, and then go back and watch the Youtube Comment one. It’s funny. Suabru anyone? Hehe.
    Keep on reading! Get to the ultimate scene! I don’t know, I like it. You don’t have to, but I do.

  143. Allison

    Your so right! I’m so going to force my boyfriend to read this post!! :3
    Yay for free cds! :3

  144. Angela

    Amazing insight, as always. =]]
    Keep up the good work!!

  145. Devon

    Hi Kaleb! I love your site! It’s immensely pleasurable to find a guy enjoying Twilight and perceptively sharing his thoughts on said book. I’ve been trying to get my husband of 2 years to browse your site and *hopefully* read the series…right now he’s too busy playing Hobo Wars and World of Warcraft online. When it finally happens, I’ll enjoy referring him back to your site, to read your commentary and the snippets from other Twilight guys who have shared their stories; he found the “herpes” story hilarious when I read it aloud to him. I, myself, was cracking up picturing Bella doing The Twist. Thanks so much for providing us with some Twilight entertainment! Best of luck with the rest of the book!

  146. Karen

    Congrats on being number 4!

    I love your insight and wit on everything. If I had a boyfriend, I would definitely make him read this. And are you sure you’re really a guy? Because you seem to be contradicting everything that makes up one..

  147. Czarina

    Thank you for picking my song, I know it’s so overplayed especially in those truck commercials but doesn’t it make you feel like a giddy teenager! You know you love it!

    I am so thankful for you and your work on this site, a guy that truly understands the innerworkings of women of any age through their passion for all things Twilight.

    Forget Edward… Kaleb dazzles me more and more with every enlightening blog post and chapter analysis!!!

    Ok, I may just be kidding, how could any girl simply disregard the awesome-ness of dear Edward. If it helps, Kaleb you are a close second! Thanks again!

  148. elizabeth

    so i’ve never left a comment before but i just had too!

    i agree with all the things you say.
    i love how you understand edward and give guys pointers.
    hahaha.

    and i totally know what your talking about when you have the choice to study for a final or read another chapter. thats happened to me =]

    just want to wish you good luck on your test!

  149. Stephanie

    haha my friends and I often call Charlie a unicorn. As in, ‘How do you think the unicorn’s going to react?’…. hehe good times

  150. Orla

    Hey Kaleb!! that was so funny. i honestly can’t picture Edward 50s dancing but just trying makes me laugh. it nice to see some one other then me thinks charlie the unicorn is funny. my friends just thinks it’s annoying.

    go you kaleb i know guys who only read twilight (and loved it!!) because of your site!!

  151. Stacy

    I simply love your take on each chapter. I am trying so very hard to make my husband a “Twilight Husband” I even show him some of your blogs/comments. Still no luck. Then over the weekend I went to a Barnes & Noble to pre-order Breaking Dawn. The girl who works there was sooo very happy I was ordering the book. Then we gushed on and on about Twilight as my husband just stood by. I was like see what you are missing and then the salesperson said…yes have you read “Twilight Guy”??? I was like Yes!!! Did you see he just did Cahpter 13!!! Then she went on to say to my husband how he could cover the book like you did with a porsche cover. I had to share.

  152. Rachel B

    Wow. You hit the nail on the head with the comment about Alice. I didn’t quite understand that part until later.

    And the Carlie the unicorn thing effects me also, I love that video. There’s a sequel, if you’re interested- Charlie the Unicorn 2!

  153. Oivia

    Good job. That was amazing, this is the first time i have read your site and omg i love it. I am 12 and obbsesed with twilight and you have done awsome jobs on breaking down the chapters.
    also i love the picture of charlie the unicorn :)

  154. Abby

    I really love reading your “reviews” of each chapter. You go in depth and really look for meanings. It makes me realize some things that I may have missed!

    Can’t wait till you read my favorite chapter! Chapter 15! Have fun,
    Abby

  155. Jena

    Love the chapter by chapter from a guy’s perspective. I hope you did well on your final!

  156. bea

    God KALEB! You so totally get it!!! Goodluck on your exams!:D

  157. Aria

    mah lord I thought no one but me and my friends had seen charlie the unicorn. Continue reading Twight, it gives us all hope for those of us with… less than… Edward men whom we still love and for God’s sake watch your kidney!

  158. Aisling

    Guys should read this and take note…!

    Also I can relate to the exam thing….I should be studying for French and History exams tomorrow…instead I’m reading this!

  159. Lisa from Germany

    hey Kaleb!
    i simply love your site! the way you write about the different twilight chapters is just awesome! you must be a very sensetive guy if you are able to write about twilight that way!
    continue your great work!
    greetings from germany
    Lisa

  160. Daisy

    Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to write your wonderfull and hilarious opinions on Twilight. I am grateful you are “man” enough to be honest!

  161. Katie Beth

    That had me wondering and wondering and wondering until I finally got some insight in the second or third book. :-D YAY.

  162. Gladys

    Congrats! This was another wonderful post of yours :) You totally get the chapter and another part of the awesomeness of Edward and you are man enough to accept it. I have read Twilight 3 times and I couldn`t gather all those ideas you got like the one about Edward and Bella talking more deeply than a married couple. Guys should definetey take notes from your posts!

  163. Stephanie

    Love your work!!! I myself am pacing myself and reading thru all 3 current books and am scheduled to finish on August 1st!! Woot! lol, do you know how hard it is to pace yourself! Im trying really hard NOT to skip the chapters without Edward in them, lol, later twilight guy!

    ps-my many failed attempts to have my husband read twilight is troubling, I may need some pointers, nothing seems to be working! lol :D

  164. Stella - Twilight4vr

    You have a great mission/project. Kaleb, you may be the only guy to really understand girls. I support the TWILIGHT GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  165. Stella - Twilight4vr

    You understand Edward fully. You may be the one of the only guys who think Edward isn’t weak and gay!

  166. Steph

    Haha, I loved the Charlie the Unicorn reference.

    It’s a leopluradon, Charlie! A magical leopluradon! ^_^

  167. Emily

    I live Edward and Bella’s conversations so much! Charlie the Unicorn is awesome. Especially the slowed down version. Charlie aounds like he’s burping. I love you site, Kaleb!! I will have to give Hitch Hansen a listen. Thanks for being awesome!!

  168. April

    HAHAHAHAHA. Kalab you are great. I completely agree about the whole Charlie thing too! lolz:D

    Tootles,
    A <3

  169. Christi

    Your blog has been the best tool I have to get my male friends to read Twilight, or at least not make fun of it. You completely understand the book and the relationship between Bella and Edward. =]

  170. Allison

    another thing i noticed, and i dont know if you have yet, is that they both read each other’s face so well. even though their relationship is new, bella can tell almost exactly how edward is feeling just by his expression, and vice versa. i think thats amazing.

  171. Alessandra

    Okay. So I have to admit that when I first heard that this site was going to come out and what its purpose was, I must say that I laughed at first. In my vast and utterly confusing mind, I had assumed that guys could never get a good insight on what was behind the words and how that made girls just fall in love with it. Basically, I thought you wouldn’t be able to read in between the lines. But as I looked through all your posts (even the ones about those who may not support you as a lot of girls here do), let me just tell you that I was crying for joy. Never had I met a guy who 1) Read Twilight for the fun of it and 2) Actually gave a hoot about what it was about. The way you explain the picture and words that form in your head when you read every chapter, well, it really makes me happy. (I sound sappy now, don’t I?) As you can imagine, I am a major Twilight fan or else I wouldn’t even be writing this, and I just want to say, keep up the good work. :D

  172. April#1

    So…. i was looking through these comments and rereading my own when i found out that there is either another “April” or im just getting on the site and commenting when im sleeping. So if April#2 reads this, i just want to keep ourselves separated.

  173. ANA

    Hey Kaleb! I love your site! and you are so right about the talking stuff!
    Guys need to talk their feelings out!

  174. Sami H

    OMG I can’t wait. It’s only a matter of time now until someone makes a video of Edward dancing……

    You should put a force field around your fridge. Like, Ocean’s 12 style.

  175. Saskia

    Hello,

    *haha* so funny. :D

    But you’re right with this ‘lovely communication’ … guys should definatly improve it! Look at Edward! xD

    And what you read between the lines with this Alice-thing quite impresses me. You’re great. ;)

    And by the way: I’m on reading the first chapters of your book, but i didn’t manage it to finish reading, it’s a little bit more difficult for me ’cause English is not my mother language. [I'm from Germany, that's why this comment has so much mistakes :D ]
    But to what i read til now: I really like it. :)

    Saskia <3

  176. Catherine

    I love how you tell guys about why girls love Edward so much. Because It’s true. And I love that a guy can see that and understand it. I also love that you’re getting really into it. It seems so strange to me, who, as a teen, has a lot of time on her hands, that it might take someone more than two days to read Twilight :-)

  177. Hope

    #51, George…

    Kaleb, I think he needs to be a farm animal… a goose perhaps? He seems like a one who quacks to me.

    I also wish to note his lovely, sophisticated vocabulary:

    “you are stupid and GAY. i am a guy and you are a f@ggot we care about f@cking girls and getting l@id (…) try going to real school and maybe you will get l@id and spend your time doign that instead of writing your bullsh@t. twilight sucks you suck your site sucks”

    *applause* I think he used his full second grade education in that comment! I hope that’s not all guys care about…

    You are the coolest guy in the world, Kaleb. ‘Nuff said.

  178. Bibliobibuli

    I always thought dialog was spelt dialogue? *shrugs* Your analysis pwns. I especially like how you tell guys what to do to be more like Edward. They can make a checklist and then the world will be full of Edwards! YES!

  179. Kell

    Another awesome chapter review.
    Thanks!
    Nice song choice as well.

  180. Shelby

    Wow. So many girls are loving you right now for your opinions on this chapter! The relationship between Bella and Edward makes every girl swoon and you’ve totally figured that out now. Girls just want to feel that the guy they’re with understands them and really wants to feel loved. Edward makes Bella feel that way because he actually talks to her. Kaleb, ignore any guys who make a big deal about you reading twilight, they just don’t want to admit that they’re curious about why girls love it too! I’ve explained to my boyfriend why I love the books and although he doesn’t truly get it and doesn’t ever plan on reading it, he respects that I love a book series so much. You’re awesome Kaleb, and you totally get the whole twilight obsession now I think! I hope no more people send you comments like that guy george or whatever! People need to show a little respect! Gosh!

    Keep on reading and have fun reading it as well!!!!

  181. Michaela

    I love your take on the Twilight chapters! I can’t express my gratitude for your updates…though now I’m sounding cheesy. Anywho, love yah, and keep on reading! (Edward rules all)

  182. Tonya

    I have an image of Edward twisting and shouting under a disco ball permenetly etched into my mind, thanks to you. I’m going to be laughing about that for the rest of the week!

    I love how this chapter ends. Poor Edward has so many instincts he must resist.

  183. aga

    The world would be such a happy place if everyone just took the time to read Twilight.
    I’m so happy to see you start this revolution of sorts.

  184. aga

    The world would be a happier place if everyone just took the time to read Twilight.
    I’m thrilled to see you start this revolution of sorts!

  185. Gill Pont

    I love Charlie’s friends! They are funny and evil.

    PS: I really want one of those Cds. :(

  186. Gill Pont

    I love Charlie’s friends! They are funny and evil.

    PS: I really want one of those Cds. :(

    PPS: If by some stroke of luck I actually do win, please use this email account as it would be impossible to find your email in the other. (It is part of a Twilight group which sends over 100 emails a day.)

  187. Jennifer

    Ah, You seriously notice the little important things people rarely catch.

    The Alice thing – Clever catching.

    The Bella and Edward speaking so deeply together – Very impressive. I didn’t even realize that’s when I really started liking Edward.

    Haha. Keep on reading, Your enteries are pretty dang amazing (:

  188. Niki

    Ha! I love Charlie the Unicorn! And wow, you are verrry observant! You totally get everything that is great about Edward! Go you!

  189. sprints42

    You know, I think you’re right about the communication thing. People just don’t talk as much as they should. They bottle it all up inside because they’re scared or think they’ll sound dumb. And then there’s the ones that just don’t care at all… Untalkative guys don’t realize how lucky they are when they have a girlfriend for more than a month.

  190. Destane

    lol I Always thought of Charlie the Unicorn when reading his name. And also, me and my friends always imagine Edward doing something funny to us…like doing the twist. Last week it was him doing the soulja boy. *rotfl* can you say yooouu!

  191. Sachula

    I very recently read Twilight, and instantly become a Twilighter. Constantly looking for anything about the series and movie that I can get a hold of. Tonight, my search went from Meyer’s home site, to youtube, to Mitch Hansens Band, to twilighters.org, to you.
    Your comments really helped me to look a little deeper in the meaning of the chapter, and your light hearted tone really sets the stage. I enjoyed reading you work, and I will definitely will be back to read more!
    BTW, Mitch’s Hansens Band is awesome! He really captures the spirit of Twilight in his songs.

  192. Mary

    Charlieee. Chaaarrrlieeee.

    I agree with the whole communication thing. I have a billion boys in my family (ok, fine, only 5 brothers and my dad). It’s not only boyfriends who don’t know how to talk.

    And please, please turn #51 into an animal!!!!! I can’t wait to see what it will be.

  193. Ashleigh

    Ahaha…50′s music makes me smile. I also love how Edward hates 70′s music — my kind of man!

    And I agree with Mary about writer #51. Do I hear a moo moo?

  194. Cordy

    Hello Kaleb1

    I’ve been reading about your site for a while now and I just finally caught up on all of your Chapter Posts. They’re lovely and insightful and, for me, I find it much more interesting reading what a writer thinks about Twilight, more so than a Twilight Guy (though that is fascinating on its own).

    Anyway, my only request is more Cullen talk! I know they haven’t made much of an appearance yet, but I’d love to get your opinions on the Cullen clan — particularly Alice and Jasper, my absolute favorite characters and couple in the book (Yes, more than Edward and E/B!).

    Thank you!

  195. Rachel

    I have to say, I love the perspective you have on the books because you’re a guy. You absolutely hit the nail right on the head both last chapter and this one. That’s one of the things I really like about Edward and Bella…they talk! Some of the things they say to each other are just so darned sweet. And its disappointing to know that a lot of the stuff they say would sound corny in real life to us simply because we don’t experience it. Edward is actually himself and talks and I think one of the reasons girls love him is that they wish it actually happened in real life. Who knows? Maybe you’ll inspire enough guys to read Twilight that it will become the norm to act like Edward. It seems to work based on some of the Guys Reading Twilight things you’ve gotten. You could be the one to change relationships forever!!!

  196. Chrystina

    Hey Kaleb,

    I just ran across your site. I’m glad to see someone of the male species openly reading “Twilight”. While my husband is very sensitive, he actually enjoys “Pride and Prejudice” and “The Notebook”, he has actively met with other husbands in our neighborhood to join together as the “I want my wife back from the world of Twilight” club. I enjoy reading your insight from week to week. I hope you continue on with the series. My favorite book in the saga is book 3.

    BTW.. I just told my husband about you (in the middle of writing this) and he said that he will read them (privately) after this semester is over (he is in college). And I think I’ve convinced him to watch the kids while I fly to Seattle to go to the BD book signing. He really is one hell of guy, even if he is not Edward. :) He’s pretty close.

    Take care!

  197. Jessica

    You mentioned in your post things that Stephenie Meyer has slipped into the books hinting at the future. I was wondering if you noticed that in the first chapter right before her first day of school Bella says, “No one was going to bite me” (paperback pg.14). I laugh every time I re-read Twilight at that line!

    Glad you’re enjoying Twilight. I wish I had the discipline to read only 1 chapter at a time…I eat books for breakfast! lol.

    ~Jessica

  198. patrice

    You’re very insightful! I love reading your analysis of the chapters. Glad you’re enjoying Twilight so far!

  199. McKenna

    Darn that lasagna burglar!

  200. Kim (there are a lot of us too)

    I love reading your views on the chapters; your comments often make me reconsider details that I didn’t notice on my first (or second) reading. Keep up the good work!

  201. Michelle

    Oh no. Now I’ll forever think of Charlie the Unicorn every time I see his name in the books. Nooooo!

    #51 needs to get a life.

  202. Emily

    Haha it is so true the thing about charlie it happens to me too. I love the site and you really have a good view on the chapters and how they relate to life. its Amazing!

  203. Denise

    I absolutely love hearing your takes on the chapters. I have only one friend that has read twilight and I think she’s getting tired of me dissecting the goings on of forks with her in detail like i do. (Mel, if you read this, you’re a saint for putting up with me.) I can’t wait for you to finish the book and give your overall take on twilight. So far I pretty much agree with you 100% on your insights. Keep up the good work, and keep reading!

  204. Jessica

    oh, I forgot to mention that I am definitely “in” for a chance to win the cd!!!!

  205. erin

    wait a second…
    where’s your little article for chap 13?
    ive looked ALL over the site!
    u know, the meadow scene?
    where is it???
    thank you.

  206. Corky

    I just stumbled upon this, browsing through the endless supply of Twilight fansites, and went all the way back to your first post and have spent the last hour or so reading your journey through Twilight. I cannot wait to see how it progresses!

    And I KNOW guys that read Twilight! One recommended it to ME. A GUY recommended I read Twilight. That, my friend, is awesome. And another read the entire series in a week… To impress me I think, because all I’d been talking about for a month straight was Twilight.

    I am loving your blogging-ness to pieces so far. You have provided me with enough entertainment to last me all day! I’m going to randomly go around saying “Spoons!” now, from a video in an older post, just to weird out my parents, like I do when I go around yelling “VAMPIRES!” with a huge grin on my face.

    I digress.

    I will be e-mailing you soon in order to read your material, because I am intrigued. I’m a hopeful writer myself. =]

    Btw- At the mention of Charlie the Unicorn, I laughed, yelled “YES!” and pumped my fist in the air, all victorious-like. Long story short, my senior year of high school, I started an entire cult following of Charlie the Unicorn simply by showing it to a few friends. It was great.

    Anyway, keep reading!!!

  207. Kristina

    Oh my goodness, you hit the nail on the head with the Edward and Bella talking deal. I love reading your take on Twilight! It’s amazing.

  208. Audree

    This is my favorite chapter of the book! And you really are a genius, man. You really get it.

  209. Steph

    Ugh… 50s music. *Shudder* You saw me! I shuddered! It’s all yelling and swing music.
    Edward has directly insulted me. I love 60s and 70s music! “Build Me Up Buttercup” is the best! Plus there’s “Video Killed the Radio Star”. Although I am pleased he can at least stand 80s. Wham is fantastic. :D And then there’s “Walking on Sunshine” and “A Little Respect”! And U2 went through the 70s and 80s…
    Sorry, music rant. Stupid biased vampire. I don’t care if he lived through those eras or not…
    Again, sorry. Anyway, someone was complaining about Grand Theft Auto? *rolls eyes* Growing up surrounded by video game playing brothers was bound to have its effect on me sometime, I love that game. :D
    Ahaha, I should stop writing.

  210. Amanda

    Thanks. I hadn’t made the connection until just now, but now all I see when I think of Bella’s dad is Charlie the Unicorn. Also, I love GTA IV. Among other games. And, check out James Truth on youtube. I will now be laughing during the climax of the movie, meant to be all creepy.

  211. Lucille

    wow… besides kenny rogers song “LUCILLE” ( which i like) i was quite surprice their is another one…, can you give me the band who sung the song?

    this is my favorite part of the book…, hihi….!!

    LUCILLE

  212. Aisha

    ok first off i have to say you are one of the most insightful ma i have ever met. i just started reading your blogs and i actually agree with alot of the things you said, and i listened to the clips 1of 50s music and i LOVED THEM! i cannot get the image of edward dancing along to those.

  213. Rebekah

    Beautiful,Kaleb. Just beautiful!

  214. al

    well first off, your advice is wonderful.
    however, no offense, it kinda makes you sound gay. good luck with that one.

  215. KalebNation

    Fortunately, being a respectful person does not automatically make you 'gay'.
    I am straight by the way.

  216. AbbyRoseM

    just letting u know, ur my boyfriend's role model… on further note: It's candy mountain, Charlie, Candy Mountain!
    or, more effectively: man, he stole my freakin' liver. or….”put a ripe banana in your very favorite ear! All the bad in the world is hard to hear, when in your ear, a banana cheer!….”

  217. AbbyRoseM

    just letting u know, ur my boyfriend's role model… on further note: It's candy mountain, Charlie, Candy Mountain!
    or, more effectively: man, he stole my freakin' liver. or….”put a ripe banana in your very favorite ear! All the bad in the world is hard to hear, when in your ear, a banana cheer!….”

  218. Rosa

    Charlie the unicorn!
    He's so awesome :D

  219. Jojotaylor22

    lmfao about charlie that is all i could think about to

  220. Mickey Not Mouse

    “It’s not something that needs to monopolize your time: it’s just the fact that Edward at least puts out the effort. Many girls actually enjoy talking about GTA IV or sports, but as put by the second emailer later in her message: ‘not every single second of every single day of every single(…)occasionally, something different is what I’d like (to hear).‘”

    Omg you just described the reason why I'm so frustrated with my boyfriend….I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT UNTIL I READ THIS! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING CRAZY!!!

    “On another note, thanks to Youtube, I can’t see Charlie’s name without picturing a grumpy unicorn and his irritating friends.”

    LMAO!!! I can sing the candy mountain candy cave song ^.^ I've quite proud of this fact lol

    –Mickey

  221. Mickey Not Mouse

    Oh and…Teenage Mutant Kung-Fu Roaches…? wow.

    —Mickey

  222. Twritebite

    http://www.cafepress.com/twilightsaga5
    I remember when I tried to read the Twilight saga after seeing the first movie. I worked full time in a werehouse at that time. Coworkers were talking about the twilight saga everyday, and I had just begun reading it myself. I almost went through withdrawls during the days until I got home. First thing I would do after work would be to, of course, read Twilight.
    I like how Edward talks and listens to Bella. He asks her questions, genuinuely interested in her. My dad could take a lesson from Edward. My mom ended up divorcing him because of his lack of listening, his lack of showing interest, and lack of caring. He's still in denial after almost two years that he did anything wrong. He's the type of guy who thinks he's always right. Well, even when he's talking to me. He usually does all of the talking. I'm a quiet person anyway, but when I do have something to say, he dosen't listen. He asks me no questions to get to know me. I am his daughter after all. Wouldn't he want to know me a little bit? My posters of Edward on my wall listen to me more than my dad does!
    http://www.cafepress.com/twilightsaga5

  223. glenasloth

    Great chapter, and I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on it!

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