(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

Reading Twilight: Chapter 15 (The Cullens)

June 12th, 2008 at 12:10 am by Kaleb Nation

The song for this chapter is Valentine by Jim Brickman (suggested by Jodie)

I had no clue how much expectation is on my shoulders from readers of this site, until yesterday evening, when I received quite a few sour messages asking why I had done a second TwilightGuy Reports instead of a new chapter. The reason is, on occasion, I must take off Wednesdays, as well as the usual post-less Sundays. It gives me a chance to answer email and get caught up on things, like cleaning out my writer-junk or studying for exams. But never fear: I’m back, and with me are The Cullens!

It is in this chapter that I finally get to meet the elusive family of vampires. At least, I get to meet most of them. Two are not there, and I’m beginning to get the feeling that for some reason, they were told to stay away while Bella was around. I also feel a slight uneasiness as Bella enters the house: the same uneasiness an orange might feel walking into an orange juice tasting factory. However, Bella has Edward, and as long as he’s there, no one will be leaping from the shadows to take a bite.

We writers are quite an odd bunch (if you haven’t discovered already). Writers have gobs of fun with droll things like sentences, like rearranging the italics or commas in other people’s books to find new meanings. Take for example:

“What’s for breakfast?” I asked pleasantly. (…)

Edward rolled his eyes. “Just eat, Bella.”

Entirely different meaning when you remove the comma:

“What’s fer breakfast?” the goblin growled. (…)

Edward rolled his eyes. “Just eat Bella.”

And Bella, I must simply disagree. There are etiquette books out there detailing how to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family:

…for dummies

Edward on the piano is one of the most striking images I have found in this book. If anything, Annie Leibovitz could capture the scene well with a photo lit similarly to her shots of the Queen- a dark and slightly brooding mood. It is one of the scenes that I am looking forward to the most in the upcoming movie.

I have a thing for piano music. There are few instruments as soft and perfect as just a simple piano. Like Bella, I took lessons years ago but whined enough so my mom finally relented and let me quit. It is something I regret very much (I whined about writing, she did not relent, and now I’m an author — notice the pattern).

However, despite being unable to read music, I have found that I can play things by ear, and I still get the enjoyment that comes from making music. It is one of those things that calms the mind unlike anything else; so much that after leaving the piano home, yesterday I bought a new keyboard for my apartment, so I could keep making music for my own enjoyment. Nothing really compares to being able to compose your own songs, since it comes straight from your mind, untarnished by others who cannot capture it like you can yourself.

In this way, there is something special in the fact that Edward has written a song for Bella. It shows his feelings run far deeper than mere words. When making a song, the composer is thinking about something and trying to describe it in music, be it a certain scene or a feeling or a person. It is like painting a portrait of something from your imagination, but with sound. The fact that Edward has composed a song for Bella shows that she is on his mind so much, he cannot help but have her come out through his music. The sweetness of the notes describe Bella in the way that he sees her.

I realize that by always talking about Edward’s many qualities, the guys who read this are about ready to throw something at me. After all, he is a piano-playing, sweet-talking, movie-star-looking vampire, with whom no real guy could go up against. However, I believe that a very big part of the reason Edward seems so perfect is the fact that he at least puts out the effort– and not only that, but even more importantly because he is sincere. So many guys these days can just tell girls what they want to hear, like a fake-Edward, in order to get what they want, and use shallow words to make it seem that they mean what they are saying. But the sincerity of Edward’s feelings towards Bella goes far beyond mere words or etiquette: he really does think about her all the time, and it’s the little things like his music that are a reflection of that fact.

On a completely different note, if this was the stereotypical vampire novel, this paragraph would happen differently:

“It’s nice to meet you all — you have a very beautiful home,” I added conventionally.

“Thank you,” Esme said. “We’re so glad that you came.”

Then she snickered. “But this room isn’t as beautiful as –”

She suddenly lunged to pull a nearby lever and shrieked. “–the dungeon!”

And that was the last we heard from Bella Swan.

——NOTES——

- I just finished a draft of a new song, and if anybody is interested I’d love to get you opinions on it. It’s part of a project I’m doing to compose a soundtrack score for my book. You can hear the song on this page and leave opinions for it there. I’m not sure how good I am at it, so any input is great :D

- Remember – anyone who comments this week is entered in the contest for a Mitch Hansen CD from twilightteez.com . I’ll email winners next week. Oh, and if you want it, maybe mention somewhere in your comment like ‘gimme the CD!’ or similar, so I know who’s in ;)

- I have been getting lots of messages recently from girls apologizing for reading my site. For some reason, a few people think this site is only for guys. That is nonsense. Girls and guys are welcome, though I’m only looking for Twilight stories from Guys (on the Guys page).

- I apologize for a lack of new videos on my Youtube channel. I’m planning a few new ones very soon – time has been evading me. But I just wrapped up a completely new intro which is boatloads better than the last one. You’ll be seeing it soon.

- If you won a prize either through a post or TwilightGuys Report, I will be getting an email to you at the end of this week for your shipping info. I’m just super behind due to exams and 4 chapters I am now forced to read tonight between…midnight and 2 AM :D . No sleep for the Twilight Guy!


Posted in Twilight
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Related Posts:

251 Responses

  1. Rebecca

    … I don’t think guys even need to read Twilight anymore… they should just come to this website.
    You just… get it.
    I’m awed.

    Twilight Guy= almost, if not equally as insightful as Edward Cullen himself.

    Way to go.

  2. Melonie

    Kaleb with all of this wonderful insight into what girls want from guys, you’re going to be getting some marriage proposals soon (if you haven’t already). Edward’s great and all but a flesh and blood guy who gets it is even better. Sooooo, how do you feel about older women? *wink wink*

    By the way, the picture of the Dummies book is your funniest one yet. I laughed so hard I sounded like a honking goose.

  3. Ashleigh

    First comment! What a treat for me. :]

    Alright, Kaleb, this is not fair: you write great books, blogs, and songs (loved the new “Farfield” song, by the way.) You read Twilight and understand why all of us gals read the book as if it were the Bible. You take idiotic crap from smelly farm animals.

    Yeah, you rock. Just thought you should know.

    P.S. Esme would never put Bella in a dungeon — that would be Rosalie’s pleasure.

  4. Sara

    Good Luck with everything you have to do. And i love the pic of the dummies book…but you could have put your face on the cover if you had wanted too. Anyways love your site, keep up the good work!

    (p.s. as you put it “gimme that CD”)

  5. Stella

    Kaleb, you can put into actual words why girls like Bella. Which a lot of people have trouble doing. Even those people that have read the books multiple times. You rock!!! Keep reading because it gets even better.

    P.S. I would love that CD.

  6. Christina

    “the same uneasiness an orange might feel walking into an orange juice tasting factory”

    ROFL. Genius. That was possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever heard…well, read. =)

    As has already been said, YOU ROCK! I have nothing more to add. XD

  7. Christina

    haha I forgot…gimme the CD! lol

  8. Kaylee

    I’m glad that you posted (and I didn’t mind the extra Twilight Guys Reports) but I would have liked to hear more about your opinions on the Cullens themselves.

    I think you are one of the only people who can put into words why we girls like Edward Cullen so much.

  9. Jenna

    That was a great post (like always ^_^). I especially loved your “For Dummies” book picture! I laughed so hard that I think that I fell out of my chair!

    Oh, I also thought that the changing the comma part was also funny, for I like to do that too (I’m a writer too! ^_^).

    I love your website and keep up the good work! ^_^

  10. Kaley

    GIMME THAT CD! okay, now that is over. . .
    First: I just wanted to say, congratulations! You are officially the only person I have ever heard of who has succesfully understood Twilight at its deepest levels.
    Second: I want to know what you think about the movie. Do you think it will suck or be just as amazing as the book?

  11. Jen

    Hey, I could really use a new cd to listen to… *wink, wink* :)

    I was also fascinated with Edward and his piano in this scene. The piano seems like such a timeless thing to me, I dunno.. I just find myself smiling every time I read that part.

    BTW, I really enjoyed your piece for the Farfield Curse.. it was gorgeous!! Very pleasant and airy melody. You did a wonderful job!

  12. Jessica

    haha. yes, I must agree with the many comments above my own. The Dummies book was, without fail, one of your best yet.
    I would definitely purchase it.
    If only I could put it to use…

    oh! one of the comments made me quite curious…
    Seriously, have you received any proposals of marriage?
    hehe. I had to ask.

    P.S.
    and to adhere to your kind nudge to our sides, “gimme the cd”!
    :D

  13. inmortal

    OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGG AHHAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU RIGHT NOW O-M-G HAHAHAHA THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!! WITH AN INTRODUCTION FROM EDWARD CULLEN HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA…………………..

    Ok you officialy made my night LOL

    “despite being unable to read music, I have found that I can play things by ear”

    I know that feeling!!! When I was 6 years old (yeah I started playing piano since 4) I “wrote” a piece and played it to my mom (I was so happy LOL) saying it was “mine” and then she was like…. what? that’s not yours! I played it and wrote it in my stave notebook by ear!! I didn’t know I was capable of do that LOL.

    And OMFG…. everything you said about Edward writing a song for Bella woahhh. I never thought about it that way! That’s true!!!! You are really good at this and I’m happy you are not the kind of guy who bash everything about Twilight.

    And yeah ‘gimme the CD!’ <– tell me this “contest” is not only for guys :/

    “girls apologizing for reading my site”

    WHAT THE HALE? IS THAT REALLY TRUE? HAHAHA… COME ON! IT’S A WEBSITE. For Edward’s sake… I can’t even believe they apologize for that.

  14. Lee

    hehehehehe to the book cover thats great. I love all your pictures they crack me up. Keep up the good work Kaleb its great to have a guys insight into the book, an intelligent guys insight into the book i shoudl say. Feel free to gift me with the CD, i think I should get it cause im in Australia!!! Haha

    Luv ya Kaleb

  15. Rachul

    I do not find you hilarious at all Mr. Nation. And since you have absolutely no sense of humor and are as dry as a desert, for I would know, I live in one, there is only one possible question to give to you.

    Will you marry me? Of course you will, you always give me what I want. HA!

  16. inmortal

    ‘gimme the CD!’

    just in case I win (LOL!!!!) and you have to send me an email LOL I prefer this one from this comment LOL. *dream, it doesn’t cost a thing*

  17. Lari

    Haha, no sleep for you eh? Sorry about that!
    Can’t wait for your next vid! Oh, and I’m going to be in Seattle this weekend! Yay! Except, like you, I’m not taking a taxi. Boo….But I am going to beautiful British Columbia! Yay!
    Ooh, can I ask, will you be giving out free soundtracks from your book on here? Or another one of your many sites perhaps? Tell me! ‘Cause I love your music. I’m a instrumental person. And Classical, and Vocal, and World.
    Oh, and sorry to disagree with you and a few other people, but I am not a piano person, I like it, but it has to be accompanied with something else. More powerful. It’s too bland to me. But I do love the organ and the harpsichord if that counts as in the same family. Does it? I don’t know.

  18. April

    GIMME THE CD.

    just kidding. no seriously I`m on :]

    But again you completely understand what we look for in a realtionship. Thank you for putting up this new chapter, I am expecting my boyfriend to be taking your comments and putting them into our conversation tomorrow like they were his.

  19. Sus

    Ohhh Kaleb! what a wonderful way to described Twilight, I have to agree with most of the comments before mine, the “book for dummies” is brilliant. Kaleb where were you 10 years ago when I got married? hahahaha would you take a divorcee hahahahaha keep up the good work.

    *waiting for e-mail with the shipment information*

  20. Michelle

    Hahaha. Yeah, having fun with commas and sentences great.

    And “gimme the CD” so that my boyfriend can listen to it (alright alright, I’d like it too). He’s just starting to read it because I forc–I mean…asked him to do so. =D

  21. Amy

    Great review on the chapter, I love seeing other peoples input on the chapters. Your reviews also help me remember the first book since it’s been awhile since I last read it (okay it was actually a month ago).

    Looking forward to your new videos.

    Oh yeah and “gimmie the CD!”

  22. Joanne Maria

    I think the song for your book is quite beautiful, did you really compose that??? LOL

    Now that you have just met the Cullens, do you have a favorite??? You will get to know thwm better later.

    Isn’t EDWARD the absolute BEST…All I have to do is think about him and tears fill my eyes!!!

  23. Joanne Maria

    FORGOT….CD PLEASE…PRETTY PLEASE…

  24. Aislynn

    Found this site yesterday and I’ve enjoyed your comments on each of the chapters. I’m right there with you, Edward at the piano playing for Bella and revealing that the lullaby is for her was one of the most telling scenes. Great to see the book from a guy perspective.

    CDs make me happy, especially new ones. :)

  25. yeniczka

    Oh, one of “those” chapters… And you’re reading the most funny (one of my favourites because of its originality in a certain way) next. Looking forward=) And just to say: I’m reading the book right now too. Only I’m re-reading it. It’s a weird experience to read it again after some time. It’s not the same as the first time, you analyze a lot.
    Oh, and Mitch Hansen rules. I listen to him on his myspace sometimes. Very subtle melodies. Lovely.
    Thanks for making this website, you make us laugh=)Oh, and your official site is just as good. Hope I will be able to read your book someday (not being american. being czech). I totally understand when you’re talking about writer’s writing=)

  26. Nollie

    lol very insightful Keleb. Though, i think Rosalie would have put Bella in the dugeon; Esme’s too nice to do that.

    And I listened to your song. Very beautiful. lol at the very end I was actually tapping my finger along with certain notes, keeping the time. Well done Keleb.

    Huggles!

    PS- I’m trying to teach a little girl I’m babysitting not to say ‘gimme’ so instead of saying “gimme that CD please” I’m saying: Can I please be put into drawing for the CD, I would love to have it. Please and thankie.

  27. Mary

    Kaleb, I love that book! If there is any way I could get a hold of it, please tell me. That would be soo cool.

    P.S. gimme that CD please

  28. Lina

    gimme the cd!!!

    haha. I love to read your reactions for each chapter in twilight! It makes me realize that there is more meaning in the chapters. anyways if you see in stephenie meyer’s song playlist for twilight, she has the piano song title for which edward plays for bella

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LraZEoRnkPc

  29. Stine

    Once again great commentary! The “How to dress when your vampire sweetheard takes you home to meet his vampire family” guide, and that last bit about Esme and the dungeon… I laughed so hard!

    As for what you said about the two missing vampires… I don’t think Rosalie and Emmett were gone because they were told to stay away, I think it was more by (Rosalie’s) choice, as Edward hints at. But you’ll get to know them too later.

    I’d love to see the piano scene in the movie as well. Did you know that Robert Pattinson has been challenged to write his version of the lullaby for the movie? It remains to see if they’ll decide to use it, but it would be cool it they did.

    And I’d love to win the CD!

  30. EBeth

    The “for Dummies” Book is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen! Love your site!!

  31. Annie

    The for dummies book…. i wouldn’t be suprised if the make one, they have like, one for every little random thing. lol

    And i’m really happy!!! I finally got my Dad to start Reading Twilight!!! He travels a lot and took my copy of it

    And i really like CD’s

  32. Julia

    your site is fantastic. Its so interesting to not only get a guys perspective on the books but an indepth study of each chapter.
    p.s. i love cd’s

  33. Rachel

    One of the reasons you’re awesome, is because you can actually say why we love Edward, and all the rest of Twilight. Whenever someone asks me, I always blank out and can’t say anything other than “He’s EDWARD CULLEN!!!!” (Plus many ear shattering squees, hyper bouncing and swooning)
    Thank you for the awesome sight!
    Now Gimme That CD!

  34. M.A.Estman

    You really made my day! I love your posts!
    PS, Give me the CD!
    *woot*

  35. Collette

    Again, very insightful interpretation of chapter 15. This is one of my favorite chapters because it also shows a bit of Edward’s vulnerability. The simple fact that he’s introducing Bella to his family and opening his vampire soul to her through his music is both touching and loving. He trust’s Bella with a part of him that is not solid, but ever-changing and unpredictable.Very beautiful chapter on Meyer’s part and very good summary on yours! I’m glad that you enjoyed it!
    Collette
    p.s. i kinda do want the cd!!!

  36. Collette

    if i need to be more explicit: GIMME THAT CD!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I’m done now, I get a little excited, the only thing I’ve ever won was a pink bunny beanie baby…pathetic I know…

  37. Roki

    Can I still win the cd if I criticize your blog?

    well I’m going for it anyways

    “we writers” “as a writer” blah blah blah… It makes you sound a bit pretentious. I’m glad that you are a great writer, you really are, but I like to imagine that Kaleb is a down to earth guy. A guy who can joke around and post his face onto funny pictures but that is taken away every time I see “we writers.”

  38. Niki

    Love that For Dummies book! I think it’s pretty obvious that girls can read this site, too, considering that an overwhelming majority of the comments are by girls. Or at least the names given in front of the comments are girl’s names… You should encourage the guy readers of the site to comment more, so we know they’re here! Or maybe that’s what they don’t want…:) Anyway, love the site! And I would also like to get that CD!!

  39. Kaleb Nation

    @Roki #37: Do I sound pretentious? I’m trying to make fun of myself and how crazy writers like me are. If other people think I am sounding pretentious, I’ll stop talking about writers.
    And I know for a fact, nowhere and to no one in my life, have I said that I am a ‘great writer’. It’s something I do not do. You will not find me saying it in a single place on any of my sites either.

  40. Jenna

    Ha! I totally love this site, it’s how I got my brother and guy friend to read Twilight. Now they’re both hooked. Thanks Kaleb!

  41. Tonya

    I always enjoy all of your comments about writers. More often than not, they are all true. I know this personally because I had many crazy language arts teachers in high school… and I’m not exactly sane myself. ^^ I am a self proclaimed logophile. I don’t think there are such things as sane logophiles.

    Isn’t discovering what so many girls see in Edward Cullen part of your ‘research’ that your do by reading the book. Given that, I wouldn’t be surprised if more than half of the people who look at this site are girls. I don’t know about others, but I love a good discussion. It’d be nice to discuss these books with a guy, just to get a different perspective. Most girls have the same idea about the book for the most part.

    One more thing, gimmie the CD please. ^_^

  42. Jenna

    Oh crap, I forgot to mention:

    I’d like the CD!

  43. Emily

    I would love a CD!

    Having recently discovered your site, I’ve been greatly enjoying following your reading of Twilight. Kuddos on both your insightfulness and excellent use of humor!

  44. Twilight Series Theories » Twilight Guy Reads Chapter 15!

    [...] Our favorite Twilight guy has updated his website with chapter 15 (The Cullens)!!! To see what he has to say about the chapter click here! [...]

  45. Sariah

    I agree, you do “just get it”. Spot on!

    Also, as a pianist, I know exactly what you’re saying about music. There’s a quote I LOVE, though I have no idea who said it, “Music speaks the beauty that words cannot express.”

    P.S. Jim Brickman is one of my favorites!

    P.P.S. Count me in (for the CD)!

  46. Sariah

    P.P.P.S. I enjoy hearing your writer insights! So, please don’t stop just because of one comment! I find it fascinating! You point out things that I would never have noticed or thought about. I have never thought you were being pretentious at all!

  47. Anna

    wow im really amazed.. you really do… get it. i love that you truly understand it

    and you make it funny that dummies book was definitely the funniest ive seen so far good job!

    oh.. and GIMME THAT CD!!!!

  48. Anna

    i forgot… I love hearing what you say from a writers’ pov dont stop!!! i dont think you sound pretentious at all. dont stop because of one comment

  49. Marie B.

    Kaleb, You ARE a wonderful writer! I enjoy your site very much and without the help of your Twilightguy stories and such, I would not have convinced my dad to read Twilight! :-p When he finishes the book I really want him to send his story to you because it is funny. Thanks for another great post! (GIMME THAT CD!…please ;-)

  50. Alex R.

    I agree! Edward is not only perfect but hes sincere and cares! Of course women like him for that. Nobody wants a phony.
    You, Kaleb Nation, are amazing that you actually get it. Kudos to your intuitive-ness. And as you mentioned, “GIMME THAT CD!!”

  51. Ashleigh

    Oh yes, I forgot to mention earlier…gimme that CD!

  52. Someone

    I agree with many of the other comments, you really do seem to understand Edward and the appeal he has for women of all ages. Chivalry is all but dead in this day and age, and Edward still holds true to that old concept that made men desirable. Keep up the wonderful posts.

  53. Kimberley

    gimme the CD!

    I think that picture of the ‘Dummies’ book was your best yet. Very original. I bet Stephenie would get a real kick out of it.

  54. Wren

    “don’t gimme CD”

    Golly, people get on this site at all odd (and even) hours of the morning (and maybe your time zones are just WAY different), and that just shows how ridiculously dedicated some (including myself occasionally) Twilightguy fans are.
    Don’t get worried that we all think you’re haughty; I understood that you’re just joking. Anything to make the fans laugh, right?
    Love your posts! Keep them coming! I do like chapters better than reports, but I won’t send you a nasty e-mail.

  55. KL

    Like I have said before I love everything you have to say about this book! I woke up this morning so excited to get on TwilightGuy so I could see what you had to say next! I have also said before any girl would be lucky to have you :)
    Oh I could use a new CD ;)

  56. Stefe

    Your song is great…totally mesmerising and enchanting. I listened to it a million times at work!

  57. Morgan A.

    I loved the switch around in the comma “just eat bella” I havent laughed that hard in forever Lol!

    And I personally have nothing against the “we writers” jokes. Those are always really funny!

    I think that it would be Rosalie who would Love putting Bella in the dungeon xD I could totally imagine that, even though Edward would kill her :)

  58. Stef

    Sorry, I have to agree with Roki…I also don’t like it when you talk about “we writers”…I’m sure you don’t have this intention, but it seems to me as if you’re putting yourself above all of us regular, untalented people…and then explaining it to us so we’ll understand.

  59. Caitlyn

    Kaleb, I love this site! Your insightfulness is making me find things that i didn’t find more, and it’s making me love Edward even more! And if you don’t mind I’m gonna borrow what you said about it not being a stereotypical vampire novel, and show it to my friend, because she refuses to read Twilight, because her sister said it was the same as all vampire stories. Thanks!

  60. Caitlyn

    Oh yeah, gimme CD, please!!!

  61. Ann-Laurel

    I enjoyed the music page very much! Goodness, is there anything you CAN’T do?! (From the comments above, I believe you’re being elevated to Edward status!)

    LOVED the Dummies book! OME!

    I’m pretty sure you don’t listen to the disparagers or you couldn’t be in your “biz”. Keep ignoring ‘em, there’ll always be nay-sayers. I just don’t understand people and their negativity…

    CD please! :) I already own it, but I’d love a copy to use as a prize the the Twilight Saga book Club I run for my local Barnes & Noble!

    TwiGuy is the best!

  62. Vickie

    I would absolutely love to have that CD! :)

    My regards will be in my email as far as how much I enjoy this site.

    Awesome work Kaleb!

  63. Megs

    Bella really needs that book–but I bet she wouldn’t read it if you gave it to her!

    Put me in for the cd!

  64. Erica

    I love your site, Kaleb! I’m always looking for updates so keep up the good work! I also love you describe Edward and Bella’s relationship.. its amazingg! Again, keep up the good workk!

    ps. i would love that CD. The Mitch Hansen Band are one of my favoritess. please and thank you : )

  65. Kristin

    Put me in for the cd!
    I love your insight on the book so far as well

  66. Jo

    Hello Kaleb,

    I have been reading but have not commented before. I must reply to Roki at 37, as well as the many other similar messages I have seen throughout this site.

    Kaleb, you are a writer. When your novel comes out, you will have thousands of critics hitting you from all angles- some of these with professional opinions who will tear your work into pieces. The press is a beast who will attack not only your work, but also make direct strikes upon your personal character in an effort to weaken you in the eyes of your readers, and ultimately to sell papers. It is a part of the business, and because you are so young, you will be scrutinized by the media more than others. But under no circumstances should you allow what they say to affect you.

    I am a writer, and have had my works ripped to tattered shreds on many occasions, publicly, not only by critics but by readers. Does it ever stop hurting? No, it does not. But you learn to ignore those people.

    The fact that there are 2 out of thousands of readers here who voice this opinion only reflects what all writers, including you, will and do go through. But you cannot, under any circumstance, listen to what they say, or offer as you did in comment 39 to change yourself to make them happy. In no way do you come across as pretentious, in fact you are far the opposite. The people who say these things must not read the entire article, but just skim for words and then comment based on an incorrect assumption. You are a popular writer, and you will be famous before this century is up, but not once have you said or alluded to such – your readers find out on their own. You have done the best that any writer can do, and that is leave opinions of your writing up to the ultimate judges, which are your readers.

    If every writer listened to every critic, and tried to make everyone happy, there would be no good writing left. You cannot please everyone. You will go mad if you try. Two out of thousands is a very low number. I’d go with pleasing the thousands of others, and leave the two to their own opinions.

    Jo

  67. Tin

    This was one of my favorite chapters in the whole book. Of course, I love just about every chapter of the book, but this one is always one I look forward to when I’m re(rerererererere)reading. Partly because I play piano and I love it to death and partly because if any guy ever wrote me a song, I would pretty much faint or something like that. Just proves once again how lucky Bella is to have found someone like Edward.

    (I love Mitch Hansen. :3)

  68. TwilightMOMS » Blog Archive » News news and more news :)

    [...] Twilight Guy has finished chapter 15, and now has his review up for us all to read HERE. [...]

  69. krystin

    damn. i wonder if the Jo who commented 66 is the Jo we all think of when we think of a writer named Jo…

  70. Alyson May

    Allow me to just say:
    GIMME THE CD!!!!!!!!!! =]

    Anyways, definitely one of your funnier chapters! I laughed out loud when I read your additions to Bella Swan’s saga. Though I’d be PISSED if that happened in the book, it definitely does follow typically vampire novel characteristics.

  71. maggi mey

    Inmortal’s Twilight cuss words cracked me up!

    I play the piano, and I guess I’m not a natural genius like you because it’s a lot of work…. Then again, maybe I’m playing harder stuff? Unknown.

    PS “gimme that CD”

  72. Gayl


    Gimme the CD!:))

    nuff said.

  73. Jenny

    Hahaha, I love that Dummies Guide! That’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all week!

    Nice job, Kaleb. :)

  74. Angela M.

    Love the Dummies Guide. Ha-freaking-larious! I too am a sucker (no pun intended) for a piano player.

    Gimmie the CD! LOL.

  75. Lisa from Germany

    LOL!!!
    The Dummies Book was vamptastic! and i totally laughed my ass of when i read the rewritten Paragraph about Bella and Esme!!! continue your awesome work!

    oh and….

    I WANT THAT CD!!!!!!!!!

    bye
    Lisa

  76. Bethany

    I feel bad that you’ve gotten snarky e-mails and comments. You shouldn’t be hounded about when or what you post. It’s a blog, not a news site. And people like that only perpetuate the rabid fangirl image that people associate with these books. I don’t think you sound pretentious either – your readers know upfront that they’re getting an interpretation of this book from a writer’s perspective, and that includes mechanics.

  77. McKenna

    kaleb, i love how you actually understand why we love edward. it amazes me.

    gimme the CD man!!!

  78. Emily

    Haha, inmortal!! I have to start this comment off with a comment on your comment. (does that make sense? :D ) “WHAT THE HALE?” That’s pretty genius, did you make that up? Yeah, I think it’s sooo wonderful how he writes her a song! I cannot wait to see that in the movie. You’re really understanding, Kaleb! Thanks for doing all this.
    P.S. “Gimme that CD” please!

  79. Mel

    Your picture this post was hilarious. Dangermagnetosis, eh? Anyway, that’s true. I wish guys would just realize that no one expects them to actually BE Eward (that is impossible for two reason: (1) because he is a fictional character, and (2) because it’s just.. not possible. Hah.), just to be sincere about the things they do. Glad you pointed it out. :)
    Ps. A guy I like just finished reading Twilight (with no one actually MAKING him) and I nearly died of joy when he told me. I wodner if I can get him to post something on here..
    PPS. Gimme that CD!
    :)

  80. sarau.

    You always seem to understand Edward so much.
    I love to listen to your opinions about twilight.
    I’m so glad you are not afraid to show the twilight community that your are a guy, and you like twilight.
    Keep doing what you’re doing!

    oh yeah… ummm…

    GIMME THAT CD PLEASE!

  81. Lucy

    I laughed when you re-wrote the paragraph on Bella and Esme! And i loved how you described Edward!
    Why people would leave such snarky messages is beyond me. Your intitled to your opinion!

  82. Mel

    Gah.. I hate when I misspell words..
    so I meant *Edward. (Obviously.)
    *reasonS (plural dammit!)
    *wonder (not wodner. Sounds like Wapner.)

    Umm.. how about you gimme that CD?
    Just thought I should ask again. :]

  83. sarau.

    Oh!
    I forgot to mention how much i really really like the Mitch Hansen band!

  84. Tiffany

    Of course Im in for the cd?

    On to the main subject however, I think you were dead on (hahaha, I crack myself up, ok seriously though no pun intended) when you gave your opinion of why women are so interested in Edward. You are right, it isn’t what he does, the fact that he is undead or that he is super model material. It is that he listens, he cares and I don’t think anyone can question his relentless devotion. He adores her on such a wide open level, it sucks girls in. Thats what we all want, someone to listen to us and adore us? And lets not forget protect us from ourselves. Keep up the good work! ~a twilightmom~

  85. Kizmet

    “After all, he is a piano-playing, sweet-talking, movie-star-looking vampire, with whom no real guy could go up against.”

    I beg to differ, Kaleb. I know a human I’d take over both Edward and Jacob any day.

  86. Anonymous

    Loved this post. Like all the other ones. And I, personally, love that you mention the different things you notice as a writer. Most people don’t pay attention to such simple things or notice how important they are to the overall story. Not only are you bringing up things that others have missed, you’re giving a reason for it. It adds a certain appeal to your chapter reviews; makes it more interesting than just giving a summary of what you read.

  87. mehek

    kaleb nation, you will one day make some wonderful girl amazingly happy!!!! do you realize you are one of the few guys who actually completely and totally understands this book? i have said this before and i will say it again: YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!

    oh and by the way would absolutely love a cd!!!!

  88. Devika!

    Hiya, Kaleb! I’ve been looking forward on your notes to this chapter for WEEKS! I am soo soo happy you didn’t let me down, all I could say was COOL BEANS. And your song was very very pretty. So cool beans and congrats, Kaleb! And now on to the rest of the book… <3

    Oh, yes, and I looked up the CD… sounds cool!

  89. Deja

    Your great at this!! I love when you say things like and us writers love to do this!!! anyways will listen to that music..and you’re really getting why we love Edward..can’t wait for more!!

    P.S. I want THAT CD!! :)

  90. Leatha

    hmm i know some guys thats read it and are totally consumed by them too

  91. Rachel

    Gimme THE CD PLEASE!
    ok, now that that’s out of the way,
    Umm, can I marry you??
    Jk, but you sem to understand Edward Cullen better than any guy I have ever met and that amazes me! Your blog is amazing and funny too. So thanks!

  92. Kirsten

    To respond to earlier comments, I do not think you sound pretentious at all when you say “as a writer”. I completely understand why you sometimes talk about the crazy things writers do/say and it definitely adds to your blog. Please keep the insight coming! Your opinions and comments on all things from twilight to gnomes are really entertaining and spot on. Again, you totally nailed the whole ‘why every girl loves Edward’ thing–genius!!! Btw, I might need to buy myself a copy of How to Dress When Your Vampire Sweetheart Takes You Home To Meet His Vampire Family…wait, Edward is not real, nor is he my sweetheart…never mind!!! Great job! Keep the posts coming!

    oh yeah and gimme the cd

  93. Sasha

    Heyhey

    Just wanted to let you know about the song I think of as Bella’s lullaby.. It’s a very beautiful piano piece called “River Flows In You” by Yiruma.

    I love your blog & I’m proud that Twilight is so awesome that it’s being read by guys who truly appreciate how wonderful Edward is.

    -Sasha

  94. Becky

    Another great post- If only I could find a copy of that For Dummies book you mentioned…
    I don’t think you sound pretentious by saying “we writers” since you ARE a writer. (and a fairly good one, in my opinion)

    and I found this on Twilight Lexicon: “there’s also a basement where they keep illicit things. It’s hard to get to, if you’re not a vampire.” hmmm… creepy dungeon, perhaps?

    Please gimme the CD!

  95. Red

    *ahem* GIMME THE CD!

    That aside, thank you so much for what you’re doing for us Twilight fans. You are articulate, charming, witty, and you respect all your readers (except the farm critters obviously). Sheesh. Insightful, brave, funny- WHY AREN’T THERE MORE OF YOU?

  96. Minh-Thu

    Haha You are so funny! Love your blogs and how you are able to understand Edward Cullen! The music is great! You are a great writer, you are nice, you play music… Is there anything else we need to know? You’re like the Edward Cullen of the real world. That bookcover is so hilarious! ♥

    Gimme the CD (but only if it’s not to expensive for you to ship it to Germany XD)

  97. Ash is DA BOMB

    Lmao I laughed so hard at the dummies book my mom had to slap me to stop “what in the heck is wrong with you!?” she yelled at me
    and ur still right about Edward!! Kelab I love you man!!
    keep on writing’

  98. Aidyn

    Kaleb,
    I agree with Jo. You will be well-known when your own novel comes out, and you certainly do not boast about that fact. You shouldn’t listen to anyone who criticizes your writing; it’s yours and you will write it how you wish.
    I also relate to your joy in music-making. I’ve been a pianist for fourteen years, and there is no delight in anything like playing the piano. I encourage you to try to pick back up your lessons in some way; if you remember anything about reading music, try to perfect it. Perhaps you can teach yourself a bit. It’s a wonderful feeling when you can just sit on the bench and play whatever you like, whatever you feel. Edward perfectly exemplifies this transfer of emotion into melody.
    Keep up the reading! I enjoy every word of your commentary.

  99. Aidyn

    Pardon, let me clarify that first paragraph. You don’t boast about your writing, so you don’t sound pretentious. At all. Don’t concern yourself with what one or two people say.

  100. Maddy

    haha i love when u rewrite the passages.

    gimme the CD! lol please?

  101. Samy

    Kaleb,
    I just found your website today and ave been sitting here for HOURS reading and re-reading this blog. And to tell you the truth, I love it! You’re brave, and as you write your own personal comments, I find my self in concurrence with you. It all makes sense. And putting your spin on things, makes it all more fun, and worth it. I hope you enjoy the rest of the book, and series. I know I have, after reading it about 5 times, each book. ;)

    By the way, I am most sincerely interested in the Mitch Hansen CD. ;)

  102. Anne

    You’re exactly right. We girls want sincerity. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for.

    PS – Count me in for the CD thing. :D !

  103. Lari

    Kaleb! You did a comment commenting on Roki’s comment. Will you please tell me if you are going to give out any of your CD’s? Pleassse! Pleassse!!!
    Larissa aka Lari

  104. Gabrielle

    OMG i love ur opinions on the book [just eat Bella, ROTFL!! =] I wish more guys would read twilight. i tried to make my friend read it and after reading the book jacket he made it sound like i was trying to get him to shave off his eyebrows!!!

    i finally conviced my Dad to read the first book so he’ll have some background on the whole situation when he takes me to the big New York stop on the Breaking dawn tour. [i live a 1/2 hour away and could take the subway there all by myself, but hes really waaaaaaaaay overprotective.] i think he could use a little encouragement though, just a little reasurance that there are indeed twilight guys out there. heres his e-mail:
    **************
    assure him that ur not a fake? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaassssseeeeeeeeeeeee?????

    Oh and PS:
    ‘GIMME THE CD!!!’ ;] lol
    -gab

  105. Kaleb Nation

    @Lari: Two of my songs are free on a hidden page at http://www.branhambric.com . I’m not sure about plans for a soundtrack with the book. But either way, I will still make sure by the time the book is out they’re available in some way.

    :)

    –K

  106. Amy

    I love seeing this book from your point of view. It is very refreshing!

  107. Mara-Kate

    HAHAHA!!! OMG I love that dummies book Kaleb! Put me down for an order of that! LOL also love the change in the commas and Esme’s lines love the “Twilight in sterotypical vampire book style”. Oh and gimme the cd..pretty please :)
    You’re awesome Kaleb keep up the posts!

  108. April

    Oh and just to say on the other side of #37, I like hearing you talk about writers. I myself wish to be a writer and i like hearing what goes on in a writers head. I enjoy reading your blogs and your takes on the twilight book. Its like reading a twilight over again except its a new book. I actually read the book along with you so that i can compare what you say to what i say. Very Similar! Well Anyway, READ THIS KALEB!!!
    GIMME THE CD!!!!!

  109. April K.

    Oh and if you don’t already know, there are two “aprils” commenting on your site, I am #108. And i will now refer myself to either April #1 or April K. Thanks Kaleb!!!! GIMME THE CD!!!! I already know that i said that but i really want it!

  110. Loonyxoxlovegood

    Great job analyzing the chapter! Oh, and I looked at the link to the “writer junk” thing, and i realized that my room looks almost exactly the same! =]

    GIMME THE CD!

  111. Kittiina

    I love your writings about these chapters and how you notice some “writer” stuff like rearranging the dots and all, it gives a nice perspective. And may I add, you really get what Edward is all about.

    And I would really like the cd!

  112. Nora

    Its funny how each time I read this book (and believe me its been numerous times) something different each time speaks to me. I guess that is one of the reasons people like it so much, becuase you can read it over and over.
    For you this chapter speaks to your musical side, something that has been embedded in you and Cemented in your childhood. You even bought a keyboard! In some strange ways I think Twilight effects more then just the immediate when you read it.

    Just for the record, I really love your pictures, they make me smile, especially the ones where you use the same face. Keep doing what your doing!

  113. Carla

    Jesus Christ! I’m the 113th comment? How do you not get scared? Eek.

    Anyway, just wanted to leave some words. I usually don’t comment even though (trust me on this one) I check this site every single day.

    However, I must say that as much as I love your Twilight Guy Reports, yours is one of my favourite websites mainly because of your chapter reviews. It’s not only because you’re a guy (which, by itself, is quite refreshing on this fanbase), but also because you get this book like NO ONE else.

    You have so much insight it makes me feel… er… how do I put it? Less smart? Yeah. xD But it’s good!

    If you ask me, your chapter reviews… Well, let’s just say that as bigger as better!

    Go Kaleb! The only non-fictional Edward out there!

  114. Rachel

    I said this on the last chapter but it amazes me each new post of yours. You really do get it.

    One of the things I pride myself on is how I may love Edward…but that is NOT the reason I love Twilight. The book has all these gripping ideas and fascinating sentences and is just so beautifully written. It’s so gripping.

    And like you said, Edward is so sincere. So are all the Cullens. Emmett may be joking all the time (except you haven’t really heard from him yet…) but he’s still so sincere. People shouldn’t try to act like they think is expected of them…or if they really do love someone…they should SHOW how sincere they are rather than fitting the mold. Who wouldn’t rather have someone who was sincere about everything they said than someone who lies and tells you sweet things that he doesn’t really mean?!

    So I sincerely thank you for having this site and showing people the marvel of Twilight that is much deeper than perfect vampire boyfriends!

    ~Rachel

    P.S. – I am definitely in.

  115. Ciera

    I think this site is great!!

    How’d you create that “How to dress…” cover anyways. lol. It was great, and I’d totally buy it if it were real.

    OOO, and I would really love that CD!

  116. Jordie

    You rock Kaleb! I always look forward to your updates!

    PS: CD please?!

  117. Twilight Lexicon ~ The Official Stephenie Meyer Fan Sponsored Information And Discussion Site � archives » in the news

    [...] The Twilight Guy, has a new chapter up. At this new speed he’ll soon be ready for New [...]

  118. Staysa

    Who needs sleep?
    Edward doesn’t… so obviously it can’t be that bad.

    I want that cd. :) I have a zune (because Ipods are overrated) and I can’t get Mitch Hansen on Zune… :(

  119. Brie

    You make me seriuosly laugh out loud sometimes. You posts are so funny!

    Oh and “gimme the CD”

  120. Jessie

    gimme the CD please!!

  121. Tina

    Rolf!Bella needs to read how to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family for Dummies, it could have saved her a lot of worrying ;) Kaleb you are awesome!

  122. Amy

    By the way, your dummies guide is the greatest image I have ever seen. Thank you for creating it.

    It has made my day.

  123. Nazrine

    GIMME THAT CD! :D

    I love reading what you think of Twilight, because it makes me think about certain aspects of the book that I hadn’t really paid too much attention to.

  124. Stella - Twilight4vr

    i love you “for Dummies” idea. The whole insight you gave on Piano and Edward (my sweetheart) was just so…so…*deep*. I love it! You are so sweet! You get Edward and his actions! edward is perfect and you get it! I love your thoughts on the book! Kaleb U ROK!

  125. Stella - Twilight4vr

    Quiero un CD. (I want that CD)

  126. Just Another Danger Magnet

    More power to you for keeping up with the piano. I also whined and threw many a tantrum until my grandmother relented and the lessons stopped (You try having your grandmother rapping your wrists every time you get a note wrong, I promise you it’s no walk in the park!).
    I’ve been enjoying your blogs on Twilight very much, keep up the fabulous writing and pictures – they’re all hilarious.

  127. Dooks

    I love the images u make. Some of them are hilarious

  128. Angela

    I play piano too. I’m not very good, but I’m not too shabby either. I can read music, but I envy your talent to play by ear. I wish I could do that instead. By the way, I really must commend you on your writing. That was almost poetic the way you described what you feel composing music really means. lol. But seriously, I really do like how you described it “painting a picture with sound.”
    Lovin’ the blogs– keep up the good work!!

    Gimme the CD!! =]

  129. Brianna

    Wow. u so understand this book. im so in awe.

    and to think u actually PERSONALLY messaged me on youtube. gasp!

  130. Brianna

    Wow. u so understand this book. im so in awe.
    and to think u actually PERSONALLY messaged me on youtube. gasp!

  131. CannibalAmy

    Haha, I love the Dummies book, it’s so hilarious!

    I loved more of your “explanation of why Edward is so much better than other guys out there”. His is so sincere and loving, and that just flows right into his music.

    Oh, and I love CDs… especially Twilight ones…

  132. zumi

    love the song choice and what you said about Edward.
    twilight guy is awesome.

  133. Allison

    I love your blog so much. It always makes my day!

    PS: “Gimme the CD!”

  134. Krystol

    First of all, I have to say that I enjoy your insight so much. It’s refreshing to hear a guy’s take on Edward and why we all love him. The other reason I read this blog is because you make me laugh so hard I cry! The line about the goblins and “just eat Bella” was classic! I find your humor to be very original and uplifting on a stressful day. Thanks so much for the effort you have put into this blog.

    PS: Gimme the CD!

  135. Emmy

    Well, I don’t want it to seem like I’m only commenting for the CD, but..

    gimme the CD!

    Although, really…
    Kaleb, you so get it. You always have something insightful and intelligent and observant to say. And hilarious, too,of course.

  136. Kate

    I’ve found money like that. Just a tip never throw away birthday cards without looking at them even if its months after your birthday you may have forgoten to pull money out!

    oh and GIVE ME THE CD! :D

  137. Brittney

    your blog is so funny yet insightful. Kaleb,i give you props your really getting into the story and reading in between the lines!

  138. Erin

    kaleb, you are so smart. you really understand the book, and get why us girls love it. edward is also so wonderful b/c he doesnt let bella feel sorry for herself like when she never thinks shes pretty, he doesnt let her be self deprecating. its what every girl wants. a guy that builds her up.

    ps i loved the ‘how to dress when your vampire sweetheart take you home to meet his vampire family’ picture. very funny.

    pps. “gimme the CD!” lol

  139. koop

    kaleb! you and the twilight communtity are gonna make me fail my exams big style! it is past midnight here in london and instead of revising for the long day of exams i am here laughing at this page! you are absoloutely hilarious! and also i WANT a twilight CD…no I NEED a twilight CD. living in england means we dont get to enjoy all the twilight perks! pick me..
    also loved the sound track its goood and am gonnna go to the nearest waterstones and find how to dress when meeting your vampire lovers family book for dummies.

  140. Vera

    I rush to your site whenever the lex says you’ve posted something new. It makes me laugh and laughter is the best medicine. Plus as everyone else has said…you totally get it. you are going to make some girl very lucky someday:)

    New Cd’s are always great by the way;)

  141. Saribel

    I love how insightful you are when reading Twilight and when you are sort of ‘picking apart’ the essence of what makes Edward so attractive to girls and women. I think guys feel like they have to put up a front and act macho to get a girl when that only puts people off. Sincerity is key with a lot of girls, sincerity and genuine concern.

    And I’m totally in on the CD deal…

  142. Caths

    Kaleb, I loved the photo and your analysis but I think it might be helpful for future entries to remember that Twilight is written in Bella’s perspective. Bella thinks Edward is perfect but Edward is quite torn. Being twilightguy, I would love to read about what you (a guy) will do or feel in case you were in Edward’s shoes…

  143. Caroline

    Hey, I love this sight. It makes me laugh so hard.
    If you’re at all interested, I recently found a song on youtube that someone put to the chapter where Edward is playing the piano. The song is River Flows In You by Yiruma, I think and it is really good. Check it out if you care at all.

  144. Devon

    Kaleb,

    1. GIMME THE CD!!!! *flutters eyelashes* pretty please???
    2. Awesome insight, as always, on Edward. I loved that scene at the piano as well and always try to picture in my mind how he wrote it and exactly what his thoughts were specifically to inspire such a composition.
    3. You are NOT pretentious-sounding at all. I find your commentary absolutely delightful.
    4. The Dummies cover is hysterical! Keep up the good work – I needed that laugh today :-)

    And if that writer “Jo” who commented was Jo Beverly, you’re an awesome writer too! I have tons of your books!

    Good writers rock, and Kaleb, that means you, too. If I wasn’t happily married, I’d probably ask you to marry me via email.

  145. Elle

    Kaleb…

    ..

    Have you already received numerous marriage proposals?

    If not…Don’t be surprised when it happens. The mere fact that you understand why we love everything about Edward is enough.

    Heck I’d ask you out on a date myself…But that might be complicated halfway across the country, also my boyfriend might frown upon that. ;)

  146. Bethany J.

    What up Twilight guy?
    I’m new to the site and I just wanted to say you’re hilarious, I loved your latest post, I had to oinch myself because I didn’t want my grandma to hear that I was laughing this hysterically because then she’d just come in and wonder what I was laughing about and THEN I’d have to explain the “Twilight” phenomenon to her and it’d take way too long because she can’t hear very well, and…what else was there? Oh yeah, I would very much like a free CD :) Mitch Hansen is a beast.

  147. Priscilla

    Honestly, my respect level for you is at an ultimate high. It fills me with relief and joy to know that there are still guys out there who are willing to understand and not be complete idiots. I’m really tired of superficial, jocky guys with a huge.. hahaha, EGO. Reading your opinions on Edward, and just how you view things makes me happy. It’s very refreshing, and it leaves me thinking that you have a bit of and Edwardesqueness (wow) inside. All I can say is THANK YOU. You’re vamptastic. Better yet, amazing. :]

    Love, Priscilla

    BTW: I’m in for the free CD!
    Just lettin’ you know :D

  148. Sarah Cullen

    WOW! I love the book for dummies!!! that was hilarious! I think all guys should read twilight!
    It would change the world! MUAHAHAHA!

  149. Mandy

    If and when you read New Moon, you’re going to look back at some of the stuff you’ve said and laugh. Well, i’m sure you laugh now, otherwise this would be a very lame blog. But anyways, I’m not dropping hints, but some of the stuff you say would be kindof..forshadowing. =)

    P.S. I’m in need of new music =)

  150. Breana

    I laughed for so hard when I read your rewritten parts.
    !) “‘Just eat Bella’ said Edward”
    -hilarious!

    2) I forgot to mention…I WANT THAT CD!!!!!!!!!

  151. Nina Lisa

    Great blog today. I think you hit everything right on the nose, especially the part about the lullaby. The lullaby has to be one of my favourite parts of the whole book. I’m excited to hear it in the movie.
    I don’t know if there have been many suggestions on the lullaby, or even if this song has already been suggested. I don’t remember who had suggested it, but on a board someone mentioned River Flows In You by Yiruma. It’s a beautiful piece of piano music that I simply refer to as Bella’s Lullaby whenever I talk about it. You should check it out. To me, everything Edward feels about Bella is displayed in that song.

    Oh yeah, I’d love to be included in that CD drawing!

  152. Kim

    I love your sight! You really do get why we all love it so much. By the way, a CD would be great :) .

  153. CaryAnn

    Wow Kaleb… that was so insightful! The picture of the dummies book was hilarious… I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life… And emse pushing Bella into the dungeon… so funny.

    You do a great job of interpreting the book and showing why is girls love it sooo much…

    P.S. Gimmie a CD! lol
    P.P.S. Will you marry me? lol.

  154. Pam

    I throughly enjoy your editing of the dialog.

    Oh, and, ‘gimme the CD!’

  155. Stephanie

    -I- would never ask for a prize so flat out! To think people -want- it so badly as to beg! How presumptuous! True, -the Mitch Hansen- band is awesome, and their -CD- would be a great treasure, but -I- would never beg for it! It’s crazy what people will do for something they -want-! You could always buy -it now-! It’s better than begging someone to -give- you a hand out! -It-’s so sad what people will do for freebies these days! It sickens me -to- the bone! Listen to -me-, you beggers! Stop this -now-! You are setting a bad example!

    =D Read between the lines, yo.

  156. Shelby

    I WANT THE CD!!!!

    i think that guys really need to learn from not only edward, but u! ur totally awesome kaleb and i love the way u notice stuff others, like me for example, miss. u rock!!

  157. mehek

    i just listened to the song that was for the chapter and, OMG its amazing

  158. Sara(Yeah there's many of us)

    Kaleb you are HILARIOUS!!! Seriously I balled over laughing over you with the whole “goblen and ‘eat Bella’” LMAO!

    PS: GIVE ME THE CD!! MUHAHA >: D

  159. amna

    WOAH!!!! this website is absolutely ah-mazing! no joke!!!

  160. Corinne!

    I WANT THE CD.
    and for you to email me, since you seem to be slacking. get your little gnome-slaves to work faster!

  161. Cassie

    I must buy that book! ;) I predict it to be quite an interesting read haha

  162. Ren

    Nice post, it is uber funny. I especially liked the for dummies and the comma moving. I don’t think you’re a bit pretentious. Please don’t stop writing the whole “we writers” thing, just because of one silly person.
    Also as you said to say “gimme the CD!” :)

  163. harlow

    WOW you really understand edward! OMJ ARE YOU EDWARD CULLEN?? hahaha love your blogs!

  164. Callie

    Gimme the CD!!
    Now, for my real comment.
    You are so intutive to twilight, it’s amazing. What you said about Edward writing a song for Bella… I never really thought about it like that.

  165. Kasandra

    Kaleb,

    For the record, you are soooo NOT pretentious! How does calling yourself what you are make you pretentious? I don’t get that at all…
    I’ll bet you’re going to make some young lady very happy some day.
    If I ever have a boyfriend again (which isn’t too likely since I’m almost old enough to be your grandmother). Even so, IF I ever do, I’m sending him to you for training. Just so you know…If an old guy shows up at your door someday and says Kasandra sent him you’ll know what he’s there for. :D

  166. Katie Beth

    I know it’s not set in stone at all for Rob to write the lullaby for the movie, but… I REALLY hope he does. That would just be so incredibly cool.

    I’m listening to your song as I type. I like. :-) Especially the second half.

    Oh. Ok. Duh. “Gimme the CD!”

  167. Bella

    Hi Kaleb!

    Wow. I found your site and I love it. You have a great sense of humor. I love the pictures you post….I think the Dummy book you posted today is by far the best one! I would totally buy it if I could…haha!

    And as you put it, Gimme the CD!!!

    Thanks, Bella

  168. Kasandra

    Okay, I just listened to your music. I LOVED it! You have some serious Edward going on there! So you’re a writer AND a composer – do you cook, too? You know, I have a daughter…

  169. Penny

    So I’ve been sharing the twilightguy.com stories with my guy friend, and I have finally convined him to read Twilight after telling him the success story that some of the guys on here had with girls after reading the books! Hopefully, you’ll be getting some e-mails from him soon sharing his Twilight stories. You and your site are an inspiration.

    P.S. – Gimme the CD!!!

  170. Jessamyn

    Oh, god. I laughed so loudly at your little editing of Esme’s line, that my dad keeps glancing over at me every few minutes to make sure I’m not going to go into some sort of psychiatric break down (which – being me – really isn’t that unlikely…).

    Also, you’ve made me curious. What would be in this book about dressing to meet your boyfriend’s vampire family? Hmm. Does it have to be a blue shirt? I like green.

    Great as usual!

    PS: I’d like the CD… :D

  171. Cassandra

    Oh Edward and his incredible piano skills. That chapter always makes me happy. And id have to agree with someone whos comment i read above…It’d deff be Rosalie pulling the lever to the dungeon. Not Esme. :D .
    Anyways terrific job. You once again ahmazed me at how well you understand Twilight.

    P.s. Gimme the Cd. lol. Seriously tho. ;)

  172. Daisy

    I would just like to let you know how insightful your comments are for girls too. It helps to understand the book even more than I thought possible! Also, it has helped freshen my memory on the little things in a relationship you tend to over look after time. I myself am coming up on my five year anniversary (this Sat.) and I’m very excited to be reminded to not take anything for granted and appriciate the time we do have!

    Thank you

    p.s. “gimme the Cd”

  173. Maxine

    I have posted a comment on a couple of your posts, but I just want to say that I LOVE reading your blog, plus you’re from Texas, as I, and that makes you awesome to the extreme.

    Now to my response.

    I took [b]A[/b] piano lesson when I was younger. I don’t really remember what happened, but I didn’t go back. Now I’m a college freshman at Tech and am part of the marching band there. I have been playing flute for 9 years now and although playing flute has changed my life, I really wish I could’ve stayed in piano lessons. My parents recently bought a piano and now I try to play as much as I can whenever my step mom isn’t on a conference call.

    The way that you described the feeling that music gives you is so true. I remember my last HS concert, and just playing the piece brought tears to my eyes, because of the picture and emotions it was giving me. When a person plays piano, well, it can bring you happiness, sadness, romance, anything. I want to be able to portray that by learning piano.

    Sorry so long.
    =]

  174. Maxine

    college sophomore **

    I felt I needed to change that detail.
    haha

  175. Chelsea

    Mmmmm… Excellently put, Kaleb. I must agree that I am looking forward to this scene. I dearly hope they put it in the movie. Even if they don’t, I know they are writing a track for the soundtrack which will be the lullaby. As long as I can HEAR those notes that Edward wrote… oh, I’m sure it will be amazing…

    MITCH HANSEN MITCH HANSEN MITCH HANSEN!!!!!!! Want CD nowwwww…

  176. Addie

    Kaleb,

    I am completely an totally amazed at your insightfulness. You really seem to grasp the intensity and depth Edward and Bella’s relationship-something that I didn’t fully realize until I had reread the book several times. I think it’s fantastic that you’re able to understand why Edward’s character appeals to us girls so much :) You’ve got it totally figured out!

    And, by the way, I don’t think you’re being pretentious at all. You are a writer, and you’re not bragging about it (even though you could :D ). I think it’s really funny the way that you find double meanings in the quotes :D

    And, about your song, I really, really enjoyed it. It makes me really, really want to read the book! You described Bolton Road as a place full of ideas and emotions. I think that song really encompassed a range of feelings and ideas and such, and the way you put them together made the song sound beautiful. I don’t know much about music, but I thought it was really good :] (Btw, I would like the CD…good luck choosing, I’m sure there’s a lot of people here who deserve it C:) I look forward to listening to more of your compositions in the future. ^__^

    I hope your enjoying Twilight! :)

    -Addie

  177. elizabeth

    ok so…

    i totally want that cd!
    =]

    i heart you twilight guy!

  178. Jami

    I seriously appreciate you doing this. I’m the only one of my friends that’s ever really loved to write (and if I’m being honest, was ever good at it), and it’s really refreshing hearing about this book from the mind of someone else that writes.

    It’s really great to know that I’m not the only one that picks apart wording and sentence structure!

    And I’ll admit, I am a Mitch Hansen fan.

  179. Dylan

    CD wanting over here! lol Yet another insiteful post Mr.! Great job!

  180. Christi

    Even if you were just reading the book, I’d be amazed. You read it AND understand it though, its great. You actually put the amount of thought into each chapter that most twilighters do.

    Good luck on exams!

    P.S. Want that cd! =P

  181. Rosalie

    OMC! I heart you!! For dummies! hehehe thats funny. I love all the stuff you twist around and make funny. You are seriously like Edward! His personality and yours are very simular. That’s soo cool!
    I <3 You!!!!!!!

  182. Rosalie

    AND I would lie the CD please!!
    I <3 you!!

  183. Rosalie

    And also I forgot! There is only one guy I have heard of that can compare to Edward! Guess who? YOU!!!

  184. Sarah

    *shrug*
    Gimme the CD!!!!!
    hehe =P

    Yes. Sincerity is amazing ^_^
    And I realize why this site is so helpful to guys.
    Then guys ask their girl friends what the big deal about Edward is, its always, “Oh, he is soooo kinda and sexy and amazing, and blah blah blah…”
    We leave out “He is so sincere!”
    I’ll have to put thta in the next time some one asks me why I love Edward so much =D

  185. Britt

    Someone should come up with a “Reading Twilight for Dummies” That would be halarious! lol

    oh!! and I am so in for the Cds! =]

  186. Amaranthine

    I totally agree–the sincerity makes all the difference in the world. Personally I don’t care too much if my boyfriend reads the Twilight books; it would probably make him sappier than he already is and I don’t know if I could handle it. But I think that it is good for guys to understand just what it is that fascinates girls about fictional characters like Mr. Darcy, Mr. Thornton and, I don’t know, Edward Cullen. Though, I really don’t want my guy to try to BE Edward–just to understand and aquire some of his better attributes.
    On a lighter note, I loved your “for Dummies” cover. Really clever and highly entertaining. Also, I completely agree with you on the piano. There’s not a single instrument that is more beautiful to me. And truthfully, this chapter is when I really fell for Edward. Before then it was a girlish crush, but once I found out he could play the piano (and well!) it was true love. It shows a certain dedication and determination within ones character that is very aimiable.

  187. Angelica

    AHAA! You’re amazing. =) and hilarious!

    The hardest question is.

    Do you understand how a girl would feel when they read the book?!
    Since you have pretty much deconstructed it completely. =x
    hee!

    I enjoyed your composition. I’m a musician myself and I think you’re quite an amazing musician for a guy who “whined and quit piano” at a young age. =P

    Keep it up! xD

    LwY

  188. Jennifer

    Ah, this chapter had me on the edge of my seat.

    I felt nervous throughout the whole chapter. Haha.

    Ah, Love your updates as always (:

  189. Monika

    I thought I was just mental and had no reason to like Edward…before I came to this site. YOU SERIOUSLY ROCK!

    I stared at the “Just eat Bella” thing for 5 full seconds before comprehending it, then burst into sudden hysterical laughter LOL!

  190. ashley k.

    i love your blog, twilight guy! i know i enjoy, and i hope other female fans do too, hearing your music and finding out what a guy thinks of the twilight saga. there are far too many men in the world who think the books are just for “chicks.” you have a great sense of humor as well. so keep up all the good work you’ve been doing.:)

    p.s. gimme that cd!

  191. Laura

    Thanks for making this blog! You’re really hilarious, I love reading your writing, it seems very effortless and flowing. Because of this I’m seeing Twilight in a whole new way :D

    P.S The CD would be awesome. :)

  192. Laura

    P.S I just listened to the song to this chapter.
    It’s…amazing. :o

  193. Kim (there are a lot of us too)

    Well, I’ve already commented earlier this week, but I’d love that CD, so… gimme the CD =D I do like their music (having listed to it via Myspace), so it would be really cool to own the CD.

  194. Angelina

    I got to say I loved that picture of the Dummies book. I laughed so hard I snorted lol

    I’m so grateful to you Kaleb because you are showing guys out there why we love Edward so much. Without even trying you just get it. ^_^

    oh and….. “gimme the CD”

    hahaha

  195. kelsie

    I love that you really understand Edward :) You’re showing guys just how great he is and how to pick up his traits. Really, i’d be swooning at any guys feet who quoted Edward.

    “You are my life now…”
    *stares at him in a drooling manner*
    “Erm, Kelsie? Are you okay?”
    *dives towards him*
    “ARG! I LOVE YOU!!!”

    It’d go something like that.

    I love the song for the chapter too :)

    Oh, and ‘gimme the CD!’ lol.

  196. Kathryn

    Wait, so did you get that whole “Just eat Bella” thing from a real different book that just happened to have the same character names, or did you rewrite that on your own? Either way it’s completely hilareous, but I’m just curious.

  197. Ana

    hahaha i love the “How to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family”
    nice!

    oooh!
    and GIMME THE CD!!

  198. Kendra Dumbledore

    Haha if they sold that copy for dummies, I would so totally buy it!

    I love the fact that in this chapter we have an extremely bubbly Alice greet Bella. That was awesome and the looks on Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were priceless.

  199. Kendra Dumbledore

    ooh and GIMME THE CD!

  200. April K.

    200!! GIMME THE CD!

  201. Lauren

    You are definately my favorite website to visit. I love your thoughts on the book because they match my thoughts perfectly. You have such a deep understanding of the book…AND EDWARD! Holy cow, you are amazing. I will be back again, and again…and again!

    OH…gimme a CD! ;)

  202. Shelley b.

    :( I already have the Mitch Hanson Band CD.

    But that is totally cool. It has wonderful songs and I listen to it at least once a day. Every Twilight fan should look into it.

    I love the song you picked for the chapter. If I had thought about it I would have suggested..

    River Flows In You by: Yiruma
    http://www.myspace.com/yiruma

    for Bella’s song. You still should listen to it if you get a chance. It’s beautiful in everyway possible.

    Thank you for the laughs and insight on Twilight!

  203. sara (or reallyfunnyusername, if you prefer that)

    wait… is that book for real? i mean the ‘how to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family’…is it for real, or am i just really blonde? (no offense XD)

  204. Joa_Cullen

    Kaleb you are great!!and of course your website is the second website that I always visit!…
    I love your comments and critics about the book..really you rock! :) the book cover is AMAZING!if you sold that copy for dummies, I would definitely buy it!:)

    and you are international!wink- you know why? because I´m uruguayan(spanish is my natal language so please forgive me if there are mistakes in this comment)and I always visit your site!…
    I hope you are enjoying Twilight as it looks in your entries…
    greetings from uruguay
    Joa_Cullen
    ERES GENIAL!

  205. Travis

    I love this chapter!

    Gimme the CD.

  206. Lauren

    LOL “Just eat Bella.”

    hahahaha i was laughing throughout this whole thing!

    “And that was the last we heard of Bella Swan.”

    lol you crack me up all the time!

  207. Becca

    hahah the stereotypical vampire story was the best xD

    I want a cd pleasee! =D

  208. Amanda

    gimme the CD!

    :]

  209. savannah

    Why the hell would an orange WALK into an orange juice factory? Must be a suicidal orange! :D

  210. Briana

    Uhm… *shuffleshuffle* You wanna marry me? *pulls out purple plastic ring bought for 25 cents moments before* …please?

    Marriage proposals aside (I’m expecting an answer within a week,) great insight into the series! Oh, and I remove punctuation for my amusement all the time! I can’t believe someone else does it, too.

    English majors do it better ;)

  211. Briana

    Ah, and I would like a CD, please :3

  212. Elessari Edain

    I have been reading your fascinating journey across Twilight and I’m really impressed because it seems you can understand us!!!(women) So I’m thinking: Are you really a guy? Jajaja That was a joke! Really, for every GUY that visit this page READ WHAT KALEB IS GETTING FROM TWILIGHT AND YOU’LL BE ABLE TO MAKE GIRLS LOVE YOU JUST AS EDWARD CULLEN!!

  213. Nora

    “However, I believe that a very big part of the reason Edward seems so perfect is the fact that he at least puts out the effort– and not only that, but even more importantly because he is sincere.”

    I love you.

    Seriously.

    You get it.

    And I am passionate about classical violin, so I can completely empathize with you about Edward’s piano. Like I said, I’m a musician, so that really struck a chord with me (ha ha)- It was kind of like falling in love with him all over again.

    Yup.

  214. Katsumi

    Wow I abolutly loved, the way you worded what would happen in a normal Vampire story that was very funny!

    As always I loved the update.

    Gimme the CD!!!!!

  215. Genevieve

    Kaleb, every post just amazes me more! I could hardly put into words why I, along with most other girls, love Edward and find him so perfect. But you take the words out of my mouth and explain it for me.
    You’re my hero!

    PS: That CD would be super :D

  216. Piper

    I think that you should write one of those fan books and put your chapter overviews in it… Kinda like a “how to read Twilight” book….

    Do it…

    (Cd would be so awesome)

  217. Melanie

    I love reading your website. I love how you just get things. Everything you say is so true! And I think that every boy who is thinking about dating a girl in love with Twilight (almost ever boy then, I think) should look at this website. You give such amazing advice and I think that if boys understood why girls loved Edward it would do some good for them!

    YOU ROCK!!

  218. Val

    I would definitely buy that book for dummies. You never know when a mysterious vampire might invite you over to dinner with his family ;)

    (P.S.: But if I even won the CD, would you charge me for making you ship it all the way to Malaysia?)

  219. Alexa

    Haha, the last part of that post rocks: the “… the last we heard from Bella Swan” bit XDDD

    and i never thought this site was for guys only… especially since Stephenie was the one who linked it on her myspace.

    ~A.

    PS: GIVE ME A CD!! [though i doubt you'd want to ship it to half way across the world ;p]

  220. Tia

    Kaleb,

    You’re going to have girls wanting to marry YOU. You have to be a super great guy in person, too. Quirky, I’ll bet, but awesome. Thanks for the emails, I know that you have so much to keep caught up here and school and work. You’re a busy, busy guy!

    Oh! I added you as a friend on myspace a few weeks back.

    I’m glad that you understand the depth of Twilight…but I don’t think that all guys can if they don’t have that analytical part in them that comes from being a writer (or a good English student).

    Anyways, you should give me the cd. I’m just sayin’. :)

  221. Melomaniac

    Just wondering … do you read all these comments?
    I like Dummie-books. xD

  222. maria

    cd

  223. Kaleb Nation

    @Melomaniac: I try to :D

  224. Melyssa

    I work at a credit union and this is one of the sites they haven’t blocked… yet. I’m just glad they haven’t so I can sit and read your posts. I think you are hilarious, Kaleb. Thank You.

  225. Melyssa

    Oh and I would like to be entered in the contest for the CD!

  226. Erin

    That photomanip of the “Dummies” book… Hilarious! It made me laugh. A lot. :)

    Also, keep up the, like most everyone has already said, truly insightful posts. I think it is safe to say: You dazzle me.

    p.s. “Gimme the CD!” :D

  227. Alice

    I agree, Edward’s piano playing is his second best quality, immediately after his shmexiness. Still, I’m one of those girls who begged her parents to let her quit, her parents didn’t let her quit, her teacher quit because he got sick of being bit by a dog every time he came to the house, and now that she doesn’t have a teacher, she has suddenly become obsessed with learning and retaining as many songs as possible. We’re a dying breed.
    By the way, my computer is broken to the point where it refuses to let me buy CDs on it, no matter how many times I try to after listening to amazing songs about Twilight online incessantly, so hint hint. *cough* Gimme the CD *cough*

  228. Kallie

    I absolutely love your dummies picture. It kind of made my day.

    And I’m totally peeved that there are only a handful of guys out there like you who take the time to figure out us girls. Guys always say they wish that they could read our minds but it’s really not that difficult, and you’re starting to figure it out lol.. I’m guessing you’ve had about 20-30ish marriage proposals so far?

    And I definitely switch up commas and italics too. On the bus usually..and people think I’m insane. :)

  229. Hugh J. Abuht

    Muahahahahahahahaha

  230. samantha

    i love the for dummies pic. that had me going. your hilarious.
    o
    and
    gimmie the CD.

  231. Hope

    No, Kaleb! Don’t stop talking about writers!

    I’m a writer myself, and when you make fun of our crazed populace, it makes me laugh because I totally agree with you.

    (I would also very much like a CD, by the way.)

    But anyway, this was a great post. Lots of humor, but I also loved your evaluation of Edward’s songwriting– that was very well thought-out!

  232. Kailey

    gimme the cd….
    Heh loved it! and the whole thing that you had a link to about cleaning out your place…I can totally relate.
    Love yah, keep twilighting!

  233. Susan

    Hi, Kaleb! I wish I’ve read your comments since the beginning that you made your them, but anyway, I just did. You are truly amazing for reading Stephenie Meyer’s book. I just love your CD. I listened to it before I went to bed last night and listened to it 3 times today. Seriously. Love it. The combinations of piano, guitar, flute, violin, etc. were so amazingly beautiful. Wish I could have it. I love Edward Cullen and who wouldn’t? Just told my kids I’ll never get married again until someone like Edward Cullen comes into my life!

  234. Gladys

    LOL! that pic of the book seriously made my day. Another great post Kaleb, you truly are becoming the real Edward Cullen and that`s because you get him and the motivations behind his lovely actions. can`t wait for your next posts. :)

  235. vesper

    Kaleb you deffinitely understand what it is about Edward that draws all of us girls in. You should deffinitely make a book about it. (after the vampire etiquette book of course.)

  236. alison

    I feel bad that you are feeling pressured to do update, as opposed to going about your daily life. First things first, man! Don’t worry about us obsessive fanpires ;)

  237. For Dummies | Elegance Redefined | Rachel Hagen Design | Utah Interior Design and Home Decor

    [...] all you Twilight fans, I thought this was pretty funny.  Found on this guys‘ [...]

  238. Laura

    Omg.. the thing about the dungeon. I look forward to reading your book and I just want to give you a hug.
    I also sent a link to this website to my boyfriend…. whose name is Caleb.lol. I outlined certain parts he should read.
    Does that make me a bad girlfriend O.o

  239. shadesofblack

    THIS

  240. shadesofblack

    THIS is what you thought while reading the chapter… i knew you noticed, but why not mention the fact that Stephanie’s taking all the rules and stereotypes pertaining to vampires and totally inventing a new definition?

    Ones that aren’t harmed by crosses and glitter in the sunlight – that they can even go out in sunlight made me skeptical until i read it – and they don’t have fangs (that we know of)…

    if i had to sell Twilight to a guy or any skeptic for that matter, i’d surely mention those awesome points about the books.

  241. Steph

    AHAHAHA! May I just say that this is one of the funniest posts yet? Ahah…
    I really enjoyed the removal of the comma. Mostly because (no matter how out of character it would be) I can imagine Edward saying that.
    And then the etiquette book! :D Genius.
    Ahh, piano. My favorite instrument. I only have a keyboard…. Unfortunate, but we don’t have the space for a piano anyway. I’ve tried composing. It’s not easy, yet still I try…
    Oh, last thing. The way things would have gone, had this been a stereotypical vampire novel. Ahahahah! I have no idea where you come up with these…

  242. Clara Renee

    OMG that goblin part got me laughing so hard my parents opened my shut door and gave me dirty looks (I laugh a lot when it comes to twilight things they should be used to it by now)

  243. Kitkat.Alice's creation

    dungeons get clothes dirty Alice would not allow that

  244. Michaela

    I think the book is great!Ecspecially chapters 5,14,and 15.I love when Edward and Bella are together.It gives me a “I shouldnever put the book down” feeling.It's great!

  245. Catburrower

    I read this, only because I had searched the web for a book “Vampires for Dummies” for my current writing project, just to make sure I wasn't doing any copyright infringement by making it a book title inside of my book. Then I got to reading what you had to say, and although this is two years old and all, I found it oddly…exciting. I love your remakes on alot of the lines and scenes. Amazingly at that same line “Just eat, Bella.” I thought the same thing. I enjoyed reading what you thought about the piano, and as I read it I was thinking about the actual song they put in the movie and the one that fits best. “River Flows In You” by Yiruma. Everytime I hear it, I can hear that scene in my head. It gives me goosebumps on occasion, mainly when played live by a friend. I intend on reading more from you. Thanks.

  246. Catburrower

    I read this, only because I had searched the web for a book “Vampires for Dummies” for my current writing project, just to make sure I wasn't doing any copyright infringement by making it a book title inside of my book. Then I got to reading what you had to say, and although this is two years old and all, I found it oddly…exciting. I love your remakes on alot of the lines and scenes. Amazingly at that same line “Just eat, Bella.” I thought the same thing. I enjoyed reading what you thought about the piano, and as I read it I was thinking about the actual song they put in the movie and the one that fits best. “River Flows In You” by Yiruma. Everytime I hear it, I can hear that scene in my head. It gives me goosebumps on occasion, mainly when played live by a friend. I intend on reading more from you. Thanks.

  247. Kaitlynfrenette

    I love this part of the book and the part of the movie this is when Bella Swan meets the Cullen's and i think if boys read the book they will have alot of dates :) lol

  248. Kaitlyn

    I think that the books r awesome and I think this Site is awesome

  249. Mickey Not Mouse

    “How to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family for dummies”…..priceless….

    I can't even imagine Esme in that way XD lol.

    —Mickey

  250. Twritebite

    http://www.cafepress.com/twilightsaga5
    I like Alice's responce when she meets Bella at the Cullen house, “Oh…You do smell good!”
    Twilight Guy, your writting soaks me up, just like Stephenie Meyer's writting!
    http://www.cafepress.com/twilightsaga5

  251. Koncisealchemy

    It sounds to me like any guy who uses this book as a means to fix there relationship doesn't have girlfriend in the first place. People Edward is a vampire… what is there not to understand about that. True there are some things said by the woman author that men could learn to use to improve their relationships with women… so it seems that the best teacher a man could get to learn about women would be a woman! ding ding ding….

Leave a Comment

Not responsible for ad content