Reading Twilight: Chapter 15 (The Cullens)

June 12th, 2008 at 12:10 am by Kaleb Nation

The song for this chapter is Valentine by Jim Brickman (suggested by Jodie)

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I had no clue how much expectation is on my shoulders from readers of this site, until yesterday evening, when I received quite a few sour messages asking why I had done a second TwilightGuy Reports instead of a new chapter. The reason is, on occasion, I must take off Wednesdays, as well as the usual post-less Sundays. It gives me a chance to answer email and get caught up on things, like cleaning out my writer-junk or studying for exams. But never fear: I’m back, and with me are The Cullens!

It is in this chapter that I finally get to meet the elusive family of vampires. At least, I get to meet most of them. Two are not there, and I’m beginning to get the feeling that for some reason, they were told to stay away while Bella was around. I also feel a slight uneasiness as Bella enters the house: the same uneasiness an orange might feel walking into an orange juice tasting factory. However, Bella has Edward, and as long as he’s there, no one will be leaping from the shadows to take a bite.

We writers are quite an odd bunch (if you haven’t discovered already). Writers have gobs of fun with droll things like sentences, like rearranging the italics or commas in other people’s books to find new meanings. Take for example:

“What’s for breakfast?” I asked pleasantly. (…)

Edward rolled his eyes. “Just eat, Bella.”

Entirely different meaning when you remove the comma:

“What’s fer breakfast?” the goblin growled. (…)

Edward rolled his eyes. “Just eat Bella.”

And Bella, I must simply disagree. There are etiquette books out there detailing how to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family:

…for dummies

Edward on the piano is one of the most striking images I have found in this book. If anything, Annie Leibovitz could capture the scene well with a photo lit similarly to her shots of the Queen- a dark and slightly brooding mood. It is one of the scenes that I am looking forward to the most in the upcoming movie.

I have a thing for piano music. There are few instruments as soft and perfect as just a simple piano. Like Bella, I took lessons years ago but whined enough so my mom finally relented and let me quit. It is something I regret very much (I whined about writing, she did not relent, and now I’m an author — notice the pattern).

However, despite being unable to read music, I have found that I can play things by ear, and I still get the enjoyment that comes from making music. It is one of those things that calms the mind unlike anything else; so much that after leaving the piano home, yesterday I bought a new keyboard for my apartment, so I could keep making music for my own enjoyment. Nothing really compares to being able to compose your own songs, since it comes straight from your mind, untarnished by others who cannot capture it like you can yourself.

In this way, there is something special in the fact that Edward has written a song for Bella. It shows his feelings run far deeper than mere words. When making a song, the composer is thinking about something and trying to describe it in music, be it a certain scene or a feeling or a person. It is like painting a portrait of something from your imagination, but with sound. The fact that Edward has composed a song for Bella shows that she is on his mind so much, he cannot help but have her come out through his music. The sweetness of the notes describe Bella in the way that he sees her.

I realize that by always talking about Edward’s many qualities, the guys who read this are about ready to throw something at me. After all, he is a piano-playing, sweet-talking, movie-star-looking vampire, with whom no real guy could go up against. However, I believe that a very big part of the reason Edward seems so perfect is the fact that he at least puts out the effort– and not only that, but even more importantly because he is sincere. So many guys these days can just tell girls what they want to hear, like a fake-Edward, in order to get what they want, and use shallow words to make it seem that they mean what they are saying. But the sincerity of Edward’s feelings towards Bella goes far beyond mere words or etiquette: he really does think about her all the time, and it’s the little things like his music that are a reflection of that fact.

On a completely different note, if this was the stereotypical vampire novel, this paragraph would happen differently:

“It’s nice to meet you all — you have a very beautiful home,” I added conventionally.

“Thank you,” Esme said. “We’re so glad that you came.”

Then she snickered. “But this room isn’t as beautiful as –”

She suddenly lunged to pull a nearby lever and shrieked. “–the dungeon!”

And that was the last we heard from Bella Swan.

——NOTES——

- I just finished a draft of a new song, and if anybody is interested I’d love to get you opinions on it. It’s part of a project I’m doing to compose a soundtrack score for my book. You can hear the song on this page and leave opinions for it there. I’m not sure how good I am at it, so any input is great :D

- Remember - anyone who comments this week is entered in the contest for a Mitch Hansen CD from twilightteez.com . I’ll email winners next week. Oh, and if you want it, maybe mention somewhere in your comment like ‘gimme the CD!’ or similar, so I know who’s in ;)

- I have been getting lots of messages recently from girls apologizing for reading my site. For some reason, a few people think this site is only for guys. That is nonsense. Girls and guys are welcome, though I’m only looking for Twilight stories from Guys (on the Guys page).

- I apologize for a lack of new videos on my Youtube channel. I’m planning a few new ones very soon - time has been evading me. But I just wrapped up a completely new intro which is boatloads better than the last one. You’ll be seeing it soon.

- If you won a prize either through a post or TwilightGuys Report, I will be getting an email to you at the end of this week for your shipping info. I’m just super behind due to exams and 4 chapters I am now forced to read tonight between…midnight and 2 AM :D . No sleep for the Twilight Guy!

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Posted in Twilight

Related Posts:

Reading Twilight: Chapter 5 (Blood Type)
Reading Twilight: Chapter 13 (Confessions)
  • Michaela
    I think the book is great!Ecspecially chapters 5,14,and 15.I love when Edward and Bella are together.It gives me a "I shouldnever put the book down" feeling.It's great!
  • Kitkat.Alice's creation
    dungeons get clothes dirty Alice would not allow that
  • Clara Renee
    OMG that goblin part got me laughing so hard my parents opened my shut door and gave me dirty looks (I laugh a lot when it comes to twilight things they should be used to it by now)
  • Steph
    AHAHAHA! May I just say that this is one of the funniest posts yet? Ahah...
    I really enjoyed the removal of the comma. Mostly because (no matter how out of character it would be) I can imagine Edward saying that.
    And then the etiquette book! :D Genius.
    Ahh, piano. My favorite instrument. I only have a keyboard.... Unfortunate, but we don't have the space for a piano anyway. I've tried composing. It's not easy, yet still I try...
    Oh, last thing. The way things would have gone, had this been a stereotypical vampire novel. Ahahahah! I have no idea where you come up with these...
  • shadesofblack
    THIS is what you thought while reading the chapter... i knew you noticed, but why not mention the fact that Stephanie's taking all the rules and stereotypes pertaining to vampires and totally inventing a new definition?

    Ones that aren't harmed by crosses and glitter in the sunlight - that they can even go out in sunlight made me skeptical until i read it - and they don't have fangs (that we know of)...

    if i had to sell Twilight to a guy or any skeptic for that matter, i'd surely mention those awesome points about the books.
  • shadesofblack
    THIS
  • Laura
    Omg.. the thing about the dungeon. I look forward to reading your book and I just want to give you a hug.
    I also sent a link to this website to my boyfriend.... whose name is Caleb.lol. I outlined certain parts he should read.
    Does that make me a bad girlfriend O.o
  • I feel bad that you are feeling pressured to do update, as opposed to going about your daily life. First things first, man! Don't worry about us obsessive fanpires ;)
  • vesper
    Kaleb you deffinitely understand what it is about Edward that draws all of us girls in. You should deffinitely make a book about it. (after the vampire etiquette book of course.)
  • Gladys
    LOL! that pic of the book seriously made my day. Another great post Kaleb, you truly are becoming the real Edward Cullen and that`s because you get him and the motivations behind his lovely actions. can`t wait for your next posts. :)
  • Susan
    Hi, Kaleb! I wish I've read your comments since the beginning that you made your them, but anyway, I just did. You are truly amazing for reading Stephenie Meyer's book. I just love your CD. I listened to it before I went to bed last night and listened to it 3 times today. Seriously. Love it. The combinations of piano, guitar, flute, violin, etc. were so amazingly beautiful. Wish I could have it. I love Edward Cullen and who wouldn't? Just told my kids I'll never get married again until someone like Edward Cullen comes into my life!
  • Kailey
    gimme the cd....
    Heh loved it! and the whole thing that you had a link to about cleaning out your place...I can totally relate.
    Love yah, keep twilighting!
  • Hope
    No, Kaleb! Don't stop talking about writers!

    I'm a writer myself, and when you make fun of our crazed populace, it makes me laugh because I totally agree with you.

    (I would also very much like a CD, by the way.)

    But anyway, this was a great post. Lots of humor, but I also loved your evaluation of Edward's songwriting-- that was very well thought-out!
  • i love the for dummies pic. that had me going. your hilarious.
    o
    and
    gimmie the CD.
  • Hugh J. Abuht
    Muahahahahahahahaha
  • Kallie
    I absolutely love your dummies picture. It kind of made my day.

    And I'm totally peeved that there are only a handful of guys out there like you who take the time to figure out us girls. Guys always say they wish that they could read our minds but it's really not that difficult, and you're starting to figure it out lol.. I'm guessing you've had about 20-30ish marriage proposals so far?

    And I definitely switch up commas and italics too. On the bus usually..and people think I'm insane. :)
  • Alice
    I agree, Edward's piano playing is his second best quality, immediately after his shmexiness. Still, I'm one of those girls who begged her parents to let her quit, her parents didn't let her quit, her teacher quit because he got sick of being bit by a dog every time he came to the house, and now that she doesn't have a teacher, she has suddenly become obsessed with learning and retaining as many songs as possible. We're a dying breed.
    By the way, my computer is broken to the point where it refuses to let me buy CDs on it, no matter how many times I try to after listening to amazing songs about Twilight online incessantly, so hint hint. *cough* Gimme the CD *cough*
  • Erin
    That photomanip of the "Dummies" book... Hilarious! It made me laugh. A lot. :)

    Also, keep up the, like most everyone has already said, truly insightful posts. I think it is safe to say: You dazzle me.

    p.s. "Gimme the CD!" :D
  • Melyssa
    Oh and I would like to be entered in the contest for the CD!
  • Melyssa
    I work at a credit union and this is one of the sites they haven't blocked... yet. I'm just glad they haven't so I can sit and read your posts. I think you are hilarious, Kaleb. Thank You.
  • @Melomaniac: I try to :D
  • maria
    cd
  • Melomaniac
    Just wondering ... do you read all these comments?
    I like Dummie-books. xD
  • Tia
    Kaleb,

    You're going to have girls wanting to marry YOU. You have to be a super great guy in person, too. Quirky, I'll bet, but awesome. Thanks for the emails, I know that you have so much to keep caught up here and school and work. You're a busy, busy guy!

    Oh! I added you as a friend on myspace a few weeks back.

    I'm glad that you understand the depth of Twilight...but I don't think that all guys can if they don't have that analytical part in them that comes from being a writer (or a good English student).

    Anyways, you should give me the cd. I'm just sayin'. :)
  • Alexa
    Haha, the last part of that post rocks: the "... the last we heard from Bella Swan" bit XDDD

    and i never thought this site was for guys only... especially since Stephenie was the one who linked it on her myspace.

    ~A.

    PS: GIVE ME A CD!! [though i doubt you'd want to ship it to half way across the world ;p]
  • Val
    I would definitely buy that book for dummies. You never know when a mysterious vampire might invite you over to dinner with his family ;)


    (P.S.: But if I even won the CD, would you charge me for making you ship it all the way to Malaysia?)
  • Melanie
    I love reading your website. I love how you just get things. Everything you say is so true! And I think that every boy who is thinking about dating a girl in love with Twilight (almost ever boy then, I think) should look at this website. You give such amazing advice and I think that if boys understood why girls loved Edward it would do some good for them!

    YOU ROCK!!
  • Piper
    I think that you should write one of those fan books and put your chapter overviews in it... Kinda like a "how to read Twilight" book....

    Do it...

    (Cd would be so awesome)
  • Genevieve
    Kaleb, every post just amazes me more! I could hardly put into words why I, along with most other girls, love Edward and find him so perfect. But you take the words out of my mouth and explain it for me.
    You're my hero!

    PS: That CD would be super :D
  • Wow I abolutly loved, the way you worded what would happen in a normal Vampire story that was very funny!

    As always I loved the update.

    Gimme the CD!!!!!
  • Nora
    "However, I believe that a very big part of the reason Edward seems so perfect is the fact that he at least puts out the effort– and not only that, but even more importantly because he is sincere."

    I love you.

    Seriously.

    You get it.

    And I am passionate about classical violin, so I can completely empathize with you about Edward's piano. Like I said, I'm a musician, so that really struck a chord with me (ha ha)- It was kind of like falling in love with him all over again.

    Yup.
  • Elessari Edain
    I have been reading your fascinating journey across Twilight and I'm really impressed because it seems you can understand us!!!(women) So I'm thinking: Are you really a guy? Jajaja That was a joke! Really, for every GUY that visit this page READ WHAT KALEB IS GETTING FROM TWILIGHT AND YOU'LL BE ABLE TO MAKE GIRLS LOVE YOU JUST AS EDWARD CULLEN!!
  • Briana
    Ah, and I would like a CD, please :3
  • Briana
    Uhm... *shuffleshuffle* You wanna marry me? *pulls out purple plastic ring bought for 25 cents moments before* ...please?

    Marriage proposals aside (I'm expecting an answer within a week,) great insight into the series! Oh, and I remove punctuation for my amusement all the time! I can't believe someone else does it, too.

    English majors do it better ;)
  • savannah
    Why the hell would an orange WALK into an orange juice factory? Must be a suicidal orange! :D
  • Amanda
    gimme the CD!

    :]
  • Becca
    hahah the stereotypical vampire story was the best xD

    I want a cd pleasee! =D
  • Lauren
    LOL "Just eat Bella."



    hahahaha i was laughing throughout this whole thing!


    "And that was the last we heard of Bella Swan."


    lol you crack me up all the time!
  • I love this chapter!

    Gimme the CD.
  • Joa_Cullen
    Kaleb you are great!!and of course your website is the second website that I always visit!...
    I love your comments and critics about the book..really you rock! :) the book cover is AMAZING!if you sold that copy for dummies, I would definitely buy it!:)

    and you are international!wink- you know why? because I´m uruguayan(spanish is my natal language so please forgive me if there are mistakes in this comment)and I always visit your site!...
    I hope you are enjoying Twilight as it looks in your entries...
    greetings from uruguay
    Joa_Cullen
    ERES GENIAL!
  • sara (or reallyfunnyusername,
    wait... is that book for real? i mean the 'how to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family'...is it for real, or am i just really blonde? (no offense XD)
  • Shelley b.
    :( I already have the Mitch Hanson Band CD.

    But that is totally cool. It has wonderful songs and I listen to it at least once a day. Every Twilight fan should look into it.


    I love the song you picked for the chapter. If I had thought about it I would have suggested..

    River Flows In You by: Yiruma
    http://www.myspace.com/yiruma

    for Bella's song. You still should listen to it if you get a chance. It's beautiful in everyway possible.

    Thank you for the laughs and insight on Twilight!
  • You are definately my favorite website to visit. I love your thoughts on the book because they match my thoughts perfectly. You have such a deep understanding of the book...AND EDWARD! Holy cow, you are amazing. I will be back again, and again...and again!

    OH...gimme a CD! ;)
  • April K.
    200!! GIMME THE CD!
  • Kendra Dumbledore
    ooh and GIMME THE CD!
  • Kendra Dumbledore
    Haha if they sold that copy for dummies, I would so totally buy it!

    I love the fact that in this chapter we have an extremely bubbly Alice greet Bella. That was awesome and the looks on Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were priceless.
  • Ana
    hahaha i love the "How to dress when your vampire sweetheart takes you home to meet his vampire family"
    nice!

    oooh!
    and GIMME THE CD!!
  • Kathryn
    Wait, so did you get that whole "Just eat Bella" thing from a real different book that just happened to have the same character names, or did you rewrite that on your own? Either way it's completely hilareous, but I'm just curious.
  • I love that you really understand Edward :) You're showing guys just how great he is and how to pick up his traits. Really, i'd be swooning at any guys feet who quoted Edward.

    "You are my life now..."
    *stares at him in a drooling manner*
    "Erm, Kelsie? Are you okay?"
    *dives towards him*
    "ARG! I LOVE YOU!!!"

    It'd go something like that.

    I love the song for the chapter too :)

    Oh, and ‘gimme the CD!’ lol.
  • Angelina
    I got to say I loved that picture of the Dummies book. I laughed so hard I snorted lol

    I'm so grateful to you Kaleb because you are showing guys out there why we love Edward so much. Without even trying you just get it. ^_^

    oh and..... "gimme the CD"

    hahaha
  • Kim (there are a lot of us too
    Well, I've already commented earlier this week, but I'd love that CD, so... gimme the CD =D I do like their music (having listed to it via Myspace), so it would be really cool to own the CD.
  • Laura
    P.S I just listened to the song to this chapter.
    It's...amazing. :o
  • Laura
    Thanks for making this blog! You're really hilarious, I love reading your writing, it seems very effortless and flowing. Because of this I'm seeing Twilight in a whole new way :D

    P.S The CD would be awesome. :)
  • ashley k.
    i love your blog, twilight guy! i know i enjoy, and i hope other female fans do too, hearing your music and finding out what a guy thinks of the twilight saga. there are far too many men in the world who think the books are just for "chicks." you have a great sense of humor as well. so keep up all the good work you've been doing.:)

    p.s. gimme that cd!
  • Monika
    I thought I was just mental and had no reason to like Edward...before I came to this site. YOU SERIOUSLY ROCK!

    I stared at the "Just eat Bella" thing for 5 full seconds before comprehending it, then burst into sudden hysterical laughter LOL!
  • Jennifer
    Ah, this chapter had me on the edge of my seat.

    I felt nervous throughout the whole chapter. Haha.

    Ah, Love your updates as always (:
  • Angelica
    AHAA! You're amazing. =) and hilarious!

    The hardest question is.

    Do you understand how a girl would feel when they read the book?!
    Since you have pretty much deconstructed it completely. =x
    hee!

    I enjoyed your composition. I'm a musician myself and I think you're quite an amazing musician for a guy who "whined and quit piano" at a young age. =P

    Keep it up! xD

    LwY
  • Amaranthine
    I totally agree--the sincerity makes all the difference in the world. Personally I don't care too much if my boyfriend reads the Twilight books; it would probably make him sappier than he already is and I don't know if I could handle it. But I think that it is good for guys to understand just what it is that fascinates girls about fictional characters like Mr. Darcy, Mr. Thornton and, I don't know, Edward Cullen. Though, I really don't want my guy to try to BE Edward--just to understand and aquire some of his better attributes.
    On a lighter note, I loved your "for Dummies" cover. Really clever and highly entertaining. Also, I completely agree with you on the piano. There's not a single instrument that is more beautiful to me. And truthfully, this chapter is when I really fell for Edward. Before then it was a girlish crush, but once I found out he could play the piano (and well!) it was true love. It shows a certain dedication and determination within ones character that is very aimiable.
  • Britt
    Someone should come up with a "Reading Twilight for Dummies" That would be halarious! lol

    oh!! and I am so in for the Cds! =]
  • *shrug*
    Gimme the CD!!!!!
    hehe =P

    Yes. Sincerity is amazing ^_^
    And I realize why this site is so helpful to guys.
    Then guys ask their girl friends what the big deal about Edward is, its always, "Oh, he is soooo kinda and sexy and amazing, and blah blah blah..."
    We leave out "He is so sincere!"
    I'll have to put thta in the next time some one asks me why I love Edward so much =D
  • And also I forgot! There is only one guy I have heard of that can compare to Edward! Guess who? YOU!!!
  • AND I would lie the CD please!!
    I <3 you!!
  • OMC! I heart you!! For dummies! hehehe thats funny. I love all the stuff you twist around and make funny. You are seriously like Edward! His personality and yours are very simular. That's soo cool!
    I <3 You!!!!!!!
  • Christi
    Even if you were just reading the book, I'd be amazed. You read it AND understand it though, its great. You actually put the amount of thought into each chapter that most twilighters do.

    Good luck on exams!

    P.S. Want that cd! =P
  • Dylan
    CD wanting over here! lol Yet another insiteful post Mr.! Great job!
  • Jami
    I seriously appreciate you doing this. I'm the only one of my friends that's ever really loved to write (and if I'm being honest, was ever good at it), and it's really refreshing hearing about this book from the mind of someone else that writes.

    It's really great to know that I'm not the only one that picks apart wording and sentence structure!

    And I'll admit, I am a Mitch Hansen fan.
  • elizabeth
    ok so...

    i totally want that cd!
    =]

    i heart you twilight guy!
  • Kaleb,

    I am completely an totally amazed at your insightfulness. You really seem to grasp the intensity and depth Edward and Bella's relationship-something that I didn't fully realize until I had reread the book several times. I think it's fantastic that you're able to understand why Edward's character appeals to us girls so much :) You've got it totally figured out!

    And, by the way, I don't think you're being pretentious at all. You are a writer, and you're not bragging about it (even though you could :D). I think it's really funny the way that you find double meanings in the quotes :D

    And, about your song, I really, really enjoyed it. It makes me really, really want to read the book! You described Bolton Road as a place full of ideas and emotions. I think that song really encompassed a range of feelings and ideas and such, and the way you put them together made the song sound beautiful. I don't know much about music, but I thought it was really good :] (Btw, I would like the CD...good luck choosing, I'm sure there's a lot of people here who deserve it C:) I look forward to listening to more of your compositions in the future. ^__^

    I hope your enjoying Twilight! :)

    -Addie
  • Chelsea
    Mmmmm... Excellently put, Kaleb. I must agree that I am looking forward to this scene. I dearly hope they put it in the movie. Even if they don't, I know they are writing a track for the soundtrack which will be the lullaby. As long as I can HEAR those notes that Edward wrote... oh, I'm sure it will be amazing...

    MITCH HANSEN MITCH HANSEN MITCH HANSEN!!!!!!! Want CD nowwwww...
  • Maxine
    college sophomore **

    I felt I needed to change that detail.
    haha
  • Maxine
    I have posted a comment on a couple of your posts, but I just want to say that I LOVE reading your blog, plus you're from Texas, as I, and that makes you awesome to the extreme.

    Now to my response.

    I took [b]A[/b] piano lesson when I was younger. I don't really remember what happened, but I didn't go back. Now I'm a college freshman at Tech and am part of the marching band there. I have been playing flute for 9 years now and although playing flute has changed my life, I really wish I could've stayed in piano lessons. My parents recently bought a piano and now I try to play as much as I can whenever my step mom isn't on a conference call.

    The way that you described the feeling that music gives you is so true. I remember my last HS concert, and just playing the piece brought tears to my eyes, because of the picture and emotions it was giving me. When a person plays piano, well, it can bring you happiness, sadness, romance, anything. I want to be able to portray that by learning piano.

    Sorry so long.
    =]
  • Daisy
    I would just like to let you know how insightful your comments are for girls too. It helps to understand the book even more than I thought possible! Also, it has helped freshen my memory on the little things in a relationship you tend to over look after time. I myself am coming up on my five year anniversary (this Sat.) and I'm very excited to be reminded to not take anything for granted and appriciate the time we do have!

    Thank you

    p.s. "gimme the Cd"
  • Cassandra
    Oh Edward and his incredible piano skills. That chapter always makes me happy. And id have to agree with someone whos comment i read above...It'd deff be Rosalie pulling the lever to the dungeon. Not Esme. :D.
    Anyways terrific job. You once again ahmazed me at how well you understand Twilight.

    P.s. Gimme the Cd. lol. Seriously tho. ;)
  • Jessamyn
    Oh, god. I laughed so loudly at your little editing of Esme's line, that my dad keeps glancing over at me every few minutes to make sure I'm not going to go into some sort of psychiatric break down (which - being me - really isn't that unlikely...).

    Also, you've made me curious. What would be in this book about dressing to meet your boyfriend's vampire family? Hmm. Does it have to be a blue shirt? I like green.

    Great as usual!

    PS: I'd like the CD... :D
  • So I've been sharing the twilightguy.com stories with my guy friend, and I have finally convined him to read Twilight after telling him the success story that some of the guys on here had with girls after reading the books! Hopefully, you'll be getting some e-mails from him soon sharing his Twilight stories. You and your site are an inspiration.

    P.S. - Gimme the CD!!!
  • Okay, I just listened to your music. I LOVED it! You have some serious Edward going on there! So you're a writer AND a composer - do you cook, too? You know, I have a daughter...
  • Bella
    Hi Kaleb!

    Wow. I found your site and I love it. You have a great sense of humor. I love the pictures you post....I think the Dummy book you posted today is by far the best one! I would totally buy it if I could...haha!

    And as you put it, Gimme the CD!!!

    Thanks, Bella
  • I know it's not set in stone at all for Rob to write the lullaby for the movie, but... I REALLY hope he does. That would just be so incredibly cool.

    I'm listening to your song as I type. I like. :-) Especially the second half.

    Oh. Ok. Duh. "Gimme the CD!"
  • Kaleb,

    For the record, you are soooo NOT pretentious! How does calling yourself what you are make you pretentious? I don't get that at all...
    I'll bet you're going to make some young lady very happy some day.
    If I ever have a boyfriend again (which isn't too likely since I'm almost old enough to be your grandmother). Even so, IF I ever do, I'm sending him to you for training. Just so you know...If an old guy shows up at your door someday and says Kasandra sent him you'll know what he's there for. :D
  • Callie
    Gimme the CD!!
    Now, for my real comment.
    You are so intutive to twilight, it's amazing. What you said about Edward writing a song for Bella... I never really thought about it like that.
  • harlow
    WOW you really understand edward! OMJ ARE YOU EDWARD CULLEN?? hahaha love your blogs!
  • Ren
    Nice post, it is uber funny. I especially liked the for dummies and the comma moving. I don't think you're a bit pretentious. Please don't stop writing the whole "we writers" thing, just because of one silly person.
    Also as you said to say "gimme the CD!" :)
  • Cassie
    I must buy that book! ;) I predict it to be quite an interesting read haha
  • Corinne!
    I WANT THE CD.
    and for you to email me, since you seem to be slacking. get your little gnome-slaves to work faster!
  • amna
    WOAH!!!! this website is absolutely ah-mazing! no joke!!!
  • Sara(Yeah there's many of us)
    Kaleb you are HILARIOUS!!! Seriously I balled over laughing over you with the whole "goblen and 'eat Bella'" LMAO!

    PS: GIVE ME THE CD!! MUHAHA >: D
  • mehek
    i just listened to the song that was for the chapter and, OMG its amazing
  • Shelby
    I WANT THE CD!!!!

    i think that guys really need to learn from not only edward, but u! ur totally awesome kaleb and i love the way u notice stuff others, like me for example, miss. u rock!!
  • -I- would never ask for a prize so flat out! To think people -want- it so badly as to beg! How presumptuous! True, -the Mitch Hansen- band is awesome, and their -CD- would be a great treasure, but -I- would never beg for it! It's crazy what people will do for something they -want-! You could always buy -it now-! It's better than begging someone to -give- you a hand out! -It-'s so sad what people will do for freebies these days! It sickens me -to- the bone! Listen to -me-, you beggers! Stop this -now-! You are setting a bad example!

    =D Read between the lines, yo.
  • Pam
    I throughly enjoy your editing of the dialog.

    Oh, and, ‘gimme the CD!’
  • CaryAnn
    Wow Kaleb... that was so insightful! The picture of the dummies book was hilarious... I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life... And emse pushing Bella into the dungeon... so funny.

    You do a great job of interpreting the book and showing why is girls love it sooo much...

    P.S. Gimmie a CD! lol
    P.P.S. Will you marry me? lol.
  • Kim
    I love your sight! You really do get why we all love it so much. By the way, a CD would be great :).
  • Great blog today. I think you hit everything right on the nose, especially the part about the lullaby. The lullaby has to be one of my favourite parts of the whole book. I'm excited to hear it in the movie.
    I don't know if there have been many suggestions on the lullaby, or even if this song has already been suggested. I don't remember who had suggested it, but on a board someone mentioned River Flows In You by Yiruma. It's a beautiful piece of piano music that I simply refer to as Bella's Lullaby whenever I talk about it. You should check it out. To me, everything Edward feels about Bella is displayed in that song.

    Oh yeah, I'd love to be included in that CD drawing!
  • Breana
    I laughed for so hard when I read your rewritten parts.
    !) "'Just eat Bella' said Edward"
    -hilarious!

    2) I forgot to mention...I WANT THAT CD!!!!!!!!!
  • Mandy
    If and when you read New Moon, you're going to look back at some of the stuff you've said and laugh. Well, i'm sure you laugh now, otherwise this would be a very lame blog. But anyways, I'm not dropping hints, but some of the stuff you say would be kindof..forshadowing. =)

    P.S. I'm in need of new music =)
  • Sarah Cullen
    WOW! I love the book for dummies!!! that was hilarious! I think all guys should read twilight!
    It would change the world! MUAHAHAHA!
  • Priscilla
    Honestly, my respect level for you is at an ultimate high. It fills me with relief and joy to know that there are still guys out there who are willing to understand and not be complete idiots. I'm really tired of superficial, jocky guys with a huge.. hahaha, EGO. Reading your opinions on Edward, and just how you view things makes me happy. It's very refreshing, and it leaves me thinking that you have a bit of and Edwardesqueness (wow) inside. All I can say is THANK YOU. You're vamptastic. Better yet, amazing. :]

    Love, Priscilla


    BTW: I'm in for the free CD!
    Just lettin' you know :D
  • What up Twilight guy?
    I'm new to the site and I just wanted to say you're hilarious, I loved your latest post, I had to oinch myself because I didn't want my grandma to hear that I was laughing this hysterically because then she'd just come in and wonder what I was laughing about and THEN I'd have to explain the "Twilight" phenomenon to her and it'd take way too long because she can't hear very well, and...what else was there? Oh yeah, I would very much like a free CD :) Mitch Hansen is a beast.
  • Elle
    Kaleb...

    ..

    Have you already received numerous marriage proposals?

    If not...Don't be surprised when it happens. The mere fact that you understand why we love everything about Edward is enough.

    Heck I'd ask you out on a date myself...But that might be complicated halfway across the country, also my boyfriend might frown upon that. ;)
  • Kaleb,

    1. GIMME THE CD!!!! *flutters eyelashes* pretty please???
    2. Awesome insight, as always, on Edward. I loved that scene at the piano as well and always try to picture in my mind how he wrote it and exactly what his thoughts were specifically to inspire such a composition.
    3. You are NOT pretentious-sounding at all. I find your commentary absolutely delightful.
    4. The Dummies cover is hysterical! Keep up the good work - I needed that laugh today :-)

    And if that writer "Jo" who commented was Jo Beverly, you're an awesome writer too! I have tons of your books!

    Good writers rock, and Kaleb, that means you, too. If I wasn't happily married, I'd probably ask you to marry me via email.
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