(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

Reading Twilight: Chapter 16 (Carlisle)

June 16th, 2008 at 12:05 am by Kaleb Nation

The song for this chapter is Here (In Your Arms) by HelloGoodbye (suggested by Holly)

Thanks to it being shorter than the previous, I was able to sink my teeth into the next chapter of Twilight on a Monday. Which was good, because Tuesdays I’m in class all day, and would have been forced to leave it at home (as if I’d actually hide quiz answers in the pages of Twilight). Where I left off, they were on their way to meet Carlisle

Speaking of him, I was much impressed by the age of Carlisle. After all, he has seen quite a great many things in his life. The reason, I realized in this chapter, that these vampires all seem so wise is because they have decades more than we do to gain it. With the added years comes added wisdom, so it would be little wonder if Carlisle is a renowned doctor, due to all the studying he could have done by now. Carlisle is so old, he might have even gotten to see this without security glass:

Mona Lisa with Twilight

No Wonder The Mona Lisa Smiles

What I really found interesting about Carlisle Cullen is the fact that he was a reluctant vampire. When he found out what he had become, he immediately hated himself and tried everything he could to get rid of it, to the point of multiple attempts at suicide. I have a deep feeling that his pain was because of what he had been before. Here he was, the son of one of the most prominent witch-burners, and now he had been turned into the very thing he had set out to kill.

I see so much potential for Carlisle in the rest of the books- so many facets to his character that can be explored. The character who has become the demon which he sought out to destroy, and now has to live with himself, is one that is in constant turmoil. Though he is not gotten into much so far, I can feel an underlying air of quiet torture that must have afflicted Carlisle for much of his life, remembering the things from his youth. What is more, is that everyone who Carlisle had known would be dead by now, save for those who were vampires.

I am curious as to if this is one of Edward’s reasons for avoiding Bella at the beginning of the book. After all, he would know well from Carlisle how it might feel to watch your loved ones die and then spend hundreds of years more afterwards, still wandering the world. It might be that he was afraid to be close to Bella because of this: or that he hopes that he might turn her into a vampire, and they can be together forever.

But, I have a feeling it is not that simple. There is an inner turmoil within Edward: he loves Bella so much that he is willing to risk whatever might be coming, even if it will mean that he is hurt. The near-endless life of a vampire opens up new questions as to what Edward is going to do in order to keep Bella with him. I’m certain I will soon be finding out whether this means she must become a vampire, like him, or if he must keep her as a human, and have her die without him.

As a side note, I’m sure he meant well, but for some reason, I picture Carlisle’s father as the Burgermeister Meisterburger (add that to my list of ruinations, next to Bella’s Truck, Coach Clapp, and Charlie ).

Sometimes I think of crazy things that have absolutely nothing to do with what Stephenie is trying to convey. In fact, there are times I am sure she just smacks her forehead and wonders why this Kaleb fellow’s insane brain was ever allowed free reign across her work. Take for example the first thought that came to my mind after reading this line:

“It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share,” Alice announced.

“Sure, fellow vampires!” Edward said joyfully. “We can all have some Bella Swan, at Kaleboni’s!”

“Gee willikers!” a voice said. “Kaleboni’s is the best! Everything a true respectable vampire could want!”

Kaleboni’s Menu

I also doubt the ‘ball’ that vampires play is that much similar to what most humans would imagine. It’s like wizard-chess. Or Jedi-volleyball. Vampball must be different. I can’t wait to see how this goes in the next chapter :D

I chuckled imagining alternatives to this line:

Edward: “Carlisle stayed with them for only a short time, just a few decades.”

Edward yawned: “This house wasn’t that expensive, just a couple trillion.”

Edward sighed: “I’m not that popular, just 98% of girls adore me.”

If I was there, I would have loved to dig through Edward’s music collections, and perhaps sneak away with a few of his 50′s albums :D

——Notes——

- I am loads behind on email. I apologize so much for making everyone wait so long for a reply, and I promise I will still get back with each one. If you sent an email before June 1, and have not gotten a reply, check your spam filter.

- Someone emailed that there was a rumor at their school that I was coming to Illinois to give a speech. I have no clue where that one came from, but it is false.

- For my last Youtube video, I became the proud receiver of The Best Pan-Hat Award. Mayhaps I should make a pan a permanent part of my head wardrobe ;)

- The Twilightaholics are looking for members for their Twilightaholics Youtube channel, so check them out if you’re still in the auditions mood!

- I am shocked at the vast amount of people who still ask this question: Why do you call yourself Kaleb Nation? The answer is very simple: My Name Is Kaleb Nation. Nation is my last name. I think people are confused into thinking it’s like Kaleb World or Kaleb Planet or something. But no, it is my last name :D


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106 Responses

  1. Ailee

    So I was recently introduced to your site, and I have to say, I devoured it ALMOST as quickly as Twilight. Well, that’s a lie. I definitely read Twilight in the wee hours of the morning before church.

    Anyway, I applaud you on your quest! If there is anything I can do to aid your valiant efforts, please, let me know. Also, you s hould know that my boyfriend is now badgering ME to lend him my copy of Twilight so that he can (and I quote) “finally understand you and all those references that you and your friends make.”

    Gasp. A guy actually wanting to read Twilight! How’s THAT for a change?

    There will soon be an email for me waiting in your mailbox. It will probably be full of weird words and random grammar, as I will most likely be writing it late at night. Prepare thyself.

  2. Jenova

    Quote:
    Edward sighed: “I’m not that popular, just 98% of girls adore me.”

    What the hell, may I ask, is the severity of the chemical imbalance in the brains of the other 2%?

    With serious gratitude, admiration and newborn fanaticism, Jenova.

    P.S. I will be back!

  3. Melonie

    I love how you have to explain your last name. I can practically guarantee, however, that people are still going to be asking you the same question far into the future. I think you should just tell people you picked a super hero name for yourself and photoshop something to go along with it. Maybe something in blue, like The Tick. LOL. I would love to see that.

  4. Kaleb Nation

    My favorite one about my name:

    “What? Do you call yourself that because you think you’re gonna take over the world? Rename it from the United Nations to the Kaleb Nations?”

    I stared at it for a full minute, wondering how I’m supposed to respond to that. I should probably have said yes, just to see how he reacted :D

  5. Natalie

    I’m calling your bluff. My theory is that you have already read all 3 books & are dragging out this ‘couple of chapters per week’ thing so you have stuff to post. Nobody in their right mind (especially a writer like you) would take this long to read “Twilight” when it’s such an awesome book, even if you are a guy. :) I also think you’ve prewritten all of these entries & have it set up to automatically post them on a selected day. Am I right?
    I must say, even if you are pretending to slowly read this book… I love your site! Keep it up. Do you do your own graphics? They’re great.

  6. Natali

    No way, Although I did wonder why he is taking so long, he has a ton of things going on, responding to everyone’s emails for one, school, ect.

    Anyway, love that restaurant thing and your other random ideas that come across your mind.

  7. Natali

    Kaleb,
    Are you LDS? Just wondering if that is why you don’t post on Sundays.

  8. Kaleb Nation

    Ha ha Natalie, you’re one of THOSE people! :D Okay, you can ask anyone I know: I read very slow. I have been on Eragon for nearly 2 years. I’ve been on Leven Thumps for 1.5 years. Even books by my friends I read abysmally slow! These aren’t thick books either! I am just so busy all the time I hardly ever get to finish them! And on top of that, I start so many new books all the time for reviews, I really get in the middle and then take forever to finish :D
    So in reality…for me, I’m reading Twilight pretty fast ;)

  9. Dianne S.

    You updated pretty late, but it’s never too late for me to read this website. You have some awesome stuff one here, I love it. I was laughing so loud, it was a wonder why no one woke up. :D

    You had a link to your review on the first chapter. It was hilarious. But the thing I noticed was how you compared her use of words to Jane Austen. That was the first thing I noticed too! I told my sister, and she disagreed. It’s nice to know I’m not crazy :) .

  10. Dianne S.

    Wow, you’re actually here! You must know by now, your practically a star on the online Internet Twilight world. For the rabid fans anyway. The ones that scour the Internet every day for new Twilight info or theories. Like me :D

  11. Rose

    I am also terribly curious about Carlisle’s life. Maybe we can get Steph to write a smidge more about him in his own series. (300 years, yay!) Carlisle talks a bit more about himself in the beginning of New Moon, but not much that I can remember off the top of my head. I can’t look it up either; one of my brothers has the book and hasn’t given it back yet. RAWR! Like you, my brothers are horribly slow readers.

    PS – Love the ode to the Meisterburger. Ah, childhood memories.

  12. Melonie

    Kaleb-he probably would have called you a conceited arrogant %^*&*(&*($%$% and then you would’ve had another entry to add to your Angry Animal Farm. It would have been fun, though!

  13. Kaleb Nation

    @Rose: On the Meisterburger: you mean childhood *nightmares*. Those clay-mation shows haunt me to this very day :D

  14. Stella

    Funny thing about your name. My friends asked me the same question and I just told them it was your real name.

  15. hazel

    No Wonder The Mona Lisa Smiles. haha. lol.

    …uhm, i like your last name. :D

  16. shellingford

    heard about edward-itis? XD

    http://joshuagad.wordpress.com/2008/01/23/edward-itis/

    :P

  17. Eftsoones

    I personally loved the Burgermeister Meisterburger thing. That made me laugh.
    I really enjoy all the writer additions that you do for various clips from the books.

  18. Val

    Where might Kaleboni be located? I’m interested in a reservation there ;)

    I found out my school is one of those places where guys read Twilight and encourage all other guys to read it too :D

    I’d like to see the day they announce Kaleb Nation president.

  19. Caitlyn

    Ha ha ha! What a great post!
    _______________
    QUOTE:
    My favorite one about my name:

    “What? Do you call yourself that because you think you’re gonna take over the world? Rename it from the United Nations to the Kaleb Nations?”

    I stared at it for a full minute, wondering how I’m supposed to respond to that. I should probably have said yes, just to see how he reacted
    ________________

    And I have always wondered about your last name also. I eventually realized that “Nation” was your last name, and to think it meant something else made me feel really…really…stupid. XP

    I will have to say I am very curious about “The life of Carlisle Cullen”, how things started, just basically his entire life. We know simple things about him, but I want to dig through and get more out of him. Hopefully the next book (BD) will have more about his life, because he is a very curious fella.

    HA HA! I love the Burgermeister Meisterburger! What a rookie! I will honestly say I still watch those old Christmas shows, and that particularly is my favorite! Ha ha, go Burgermeister!

  20. Monica

    I love your site! The graphics/random quotes are hilarious (especially the Mona Lisa, and your reference to Charlie the Unicorn a few chapters back…I never made that connection before). I’m currently trying to get my brother to read Twilight. I think I’ll send him here!

  21. Julie

    What?! Those clay-mation Christmas movies were the greatest. Burgermeister Meisterburger was the man.

    Honestly, when I first started reading this site, I was completely convinced that you had started your own little group of your own fans and had named it “Kaleb Nation.” It took me two weeks to figure out that was your last name. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who made that mistake. I was starting to question my sanity.

  22. Star

    quote:
    Edward yawned: “This house wasn’t that expensive, just a couple trillion.”

    Edward sighed: “I’m not that popular, just 98% of girls adore me.”
    ____

    I could really imagine these being in Breaking Dawn. Or even better in the Twilight movie script, haha.

    I totally understand the name thing as my name is Star Hunter. People think I made it up or something. Someone even asked me once if my parents were hippies and I just had to shake my head so I wouldn’t burst out laughing lol.

    Love your blog! =D

  23. Sarah (another one - shocking)

    This is a great chapter, one that I like to read over and over. Carlisle is my second favorite Cullen (after Edward, before Alice if you wanted to know.)

    And about your last name, it never confused me at all. It’s really funny that someone things like you’re trying to take over the world. One Twilighter at a time I guess.

  24. Sarah

    Well, I read this whole thing on the Nintendo Wii, and am currently typing this comment on it.us Harder than it looks.
    ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
    This made me laugh though, especially the menu thing. I laughed so loud, I nearly gave my bird (in the kitchen) a heart attack. O.o I should probably learn to control the volume of my voice…
    anyway…☆○◇□△◎☆☆☆☆☆

  25. Katie Beth

    Oh, wow. That menu. That had me laughing inside (especially the lasagna part). The Edward quotes had me really grinning outside. And I laughed out loud at the part about your name. I’d been wondering how many misunderstandings you get about that. :-D

  26. Corinne!

    KALEB! are you sure your name isnt, like, kaleb city? how bout state? hamlet? village? i’m not sure if i can believe that your last name is nation, kaleb. AND IS KALEB EVEN YOUR FIRST NAME?!? what if it’s, like, Kale? or Caleb? or ZACHARY?!?!?
    i think i may have lost my faith in you…
    [but not really.]

    Corinne!

  27. Natalie

    Yes, I must be one of “those” people who got sucked in chapter after chapter & wonder how someone could have the will power to resist reading the whole thing in a day or two! Just ditch Leven Thumps & Eragon. :)

  28. mehek

    i honestly thought that kaleb nation was a pen name.

  29. Alyssa

    lol lol love the menu. and your blogs.

  30. Anonymous

    I’d like to talk to the chef about adding Edward Cullen to the menu, please.

  31. Ash is DA BOMB

    My mom is part of that 2% guuuuuuurrrrrrr.
    She says she doesn’t know why Me and the rest of of girl population loves Edward and she is the one who reads romance novels
    oh well you can lead a horse to water…

  32. Lauren

    Kaleb you’re a great guy!

  33. Annie

    as always, kaleb you make me laugh =)
    and the edward-itis thing is hilarious.

  34. Shannon

    Wow! Your name is actually Kaleb Nation.. I thought for sure that was a pen-name, I mean.. it just seems too cool to be real.. :)

    And of course, as always you make me laugh. ^__^ so, keep up the good work!

  35. Jenova

    Kaleb,

    Re: your conversation with Natalie.
    If you read that slow, how long does it take you to WRITE?!

    P.S. I thoroughly believe Nation is a fantastic last name. Do you get anyone pronouncing it “Nah Tye On”?

  36. Carol

    I’m just laughing about the whole name thing and Jenova’s “Nah tye on”. ;)

  37. Mel

    So this one made me laugh a lot more than usual, especially the menu (and the lasagna part).

    Um.. that’s hilarious that people didn’t think that was your last name..

    And I don’t know why (well, I do, because it’s the same last name) but you reminded me of some movie called Where the Heart Is. It has Natalie Portman in it and her last name is Nation (Do you see where I’m going with this?).. Anywho, the short of the long is this: She has a baby girl and names her Americus.

    That’s right. The kid’s name is Americus Nation.

    That’s just what popped into my head when I read your good stuff. :)

    Great update.
    -Mel

  38. Kaleb Nation

    @Mel: Of course, I had to see that movie. Twice. After all, hearing Natalie Portman called Mrs. Nation was very joyful :D

  39. Kirsten

    Great job again…love the Meisterburger and the Kaleboni’s menu (darn burglars! No lasagna!) Anyhow…who are the 2% of girls that do not like Edward?? Is that even possible??
    In response to your comments above, how can you take years to read a book?? I mean, I can understand not having enough time, but I just MAKE time to read (even if I don’t really have the time to spend)…if I don’t finish a book within a month, I lose interest in it and will probably never finish it. Great update!

  40. Rachul

    Hahaha, I remember the first thing I ever said to you was about your last name. I was so disappointed that it was ACTUALLY your last name. Changing your name to sound like a super hero is so much cooler.

    SLOW READERS UNITE!

  41. Maddy

    aw. i just watched ur video and i have to say–ur kinda cute! in a weird way… lol i <3 ur site and that mona lisa pic made my life :)

  42. Mara-Kate

    Burgermeister Meisterburger!!! Kaleb you never stop making me laugh with these posts! Mel, I saw that movie too! Americus Nation -shakes head- I was confused about your last name too! But you have a cool last name, it makes the website sound cooler! I know two guys who’s last names are Sweet and Awesome…which are very sweet and awesome :)

  43. Jen

    Totally bummed about the lasagna being off the menu.. I could really go for some :) I’m glad you got a chance to sneak a chapter in!!! I love reading your thoughts on the book :D I hope you finish them all before Breaking Dawn comes out!

  44. Roki

    Great! That’s really cool, I had no idea that was actually your name.

    I also like how you introduced your “crazy” thoughts and input about what you doubt Stephenie tried to convey.

  45. Kimberley

    Miesterburger. haha no toys for little Carlisle.
    Come to think of it, I kind of see him like that too. haha.
    I wondered if Nation was your last name. I kind of figured that because you don’t seem like the kind of guy who would literally call himself that…. taking over the world or something. It’s a pretty interesting name to have.

  46. P D Yerf

    omg the fact that you mentioned Burgermeister Meisterburger made me the happiest person on the planet!! Kaleb, I love you!

  47. bookgirlluvstwilight

    Haha. Burgermeister Meisterburger. Carlisle’s father would look like that! His mom would have to look really prety and Carlisle would have all of his mom’s looks because Carlisle is supposed to be very handsome. I had a feeling that your last name was really Nation, but I wasn’t sure. I am a fast reader only if I’m in the mood to read.
    Summer Break is here! we got out on the 13th. :) Since you read sooo slow does that mean you write that slow? ;) Vampire baseball is very different from human baseball!
    Awesome blog, Kaleb!

    Stevie was here

  48. Elise

    i agree with Jenova what the hell is the other 2% thinking?

    About you’re last name-at least people don’t call you hitch *sigh* my last name is hitchings so yeah.

    Kaleb you are so funny. You can always make me laugh:)

  49. Lauren

    hahaha, Kaleb you can make me laugh on my hardest days, thanks!!!btw, the next chapter is the one where me and my friends go CRAZY over!!woohoo, KEEP READING AT YOUR INCREDIBLY SLOW SPEED!! ;) jk!

  50. Stella - Twilight4vr

    Kaleb, ur soo funny! I agree w/ Jenova and Elise. WHAT THE F-ING HELL is wrong with the 2%…oh I know i guess they’re Jacobs…..I can read MUCH faster than u but ur time 2 write these blogs are soo…IDK, generous! Boy’s minds can be scary! I love ur thoughts tho!

  51. Ana

    You are so funny Kaleb!
    I too believe “NATION” was some sort of nickname for Kaleb Planet or something! Hahaha!
    Thanks for clearing that up!
    I love your page!

  52. Laura

    Speaking of lasagna…there was a guy arrested for stealing hundreds of frozen pizzas recently. I lol’d when I saw that on the news the other day :)

    Read Here: http://www.wcpo.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=0013df59-4ccb-4af5-a129-f8ad689118f5

  53. Bridget

    Hello there,
    You’re a legend, Kaleb!
    I love the graphics, quotes and the in-depth chapter blog things.

    I’ll order up some irritable grizzly any day!

  54. TwilightMOMS » Blog Archive » Twilight News

    [...] Kaleb (Twilight Guy) has also updated his blog with his review of chapter 16, HERE. [...]

  55. Tiffany

    Carlisle fascinates me as well – just imagining all the things he’s seen and experienced . . . I think I’m more interested in Jasper’s story though (but that’s in Eclipse, and would probably be more of a “guy’s book”). Great blog!

    I also questioned your last name when I first found this site, for about five minutes, before I Googled you, to see if you were legit. I’m a skeptic.

  56. Shelby

    WOOOOOOW!!!!! I was just doing my daily fill of twilight websurfing, and after watching the new twilight clip like 10 times i found this sight. This is utterly fantastic!! After defending my love for this book day in and day out (why must everyone think reading about vampires is strange) it is refreshing to hear a GUY’s take on the book!! You are dead on about everything, you’re like Edward and Mel Gibson in “What Women Want” all wrapped up in one. Trust me you are not giving the other guys bad advice. I must say personally that I would like some sincere, honest, breathtakingly gorgeous vampire-even when his eyes are black and can hardly control himself-over basically every guy I’ve ever met.
    My only question is how do you do it? How can you only read a chapter a night. When I read the series, I read all 3 in a weekend (i stayed up until 5am reading new moon the saturday) I literally felt thirsty for more(terrible cliche, but whatever.) I must say, you are an Edward Cullen and i applaud you.

  57. elizabeth

    hahahaha!
    oh man you are like the best twilight guy there is!

    so thats why the mona lisa smiles.
    that was brilliant!

    i cant wait til you get to eclipse =]

  58. Erin.

    this was one of the most hilarious posts to date. i was laughing extremely hard. Burgermeister Meisterburger literally made me laugh louder than was necessary. and the menu for kaleboni’s. im very sorry about your lasagna. keep being hilarious!! i adore this site.

  59. Lina

    Kaleb, you rule.

    Edward yawned: “This house wasn’t that expensive, just a couple trillion.” = FTW! Edward tends to either over-exaggerate or under-exaggerate. He seems to be incapable of stating things like a normal person. O_o

    Oh, and as a side note, I got my ex to read Twilight the other day! =]] He was dubious but trusted me, and has absolutely devoured the books since, buying New Moon on his own initiative and texting me with lines he likes and what chapters he’s on. The Twilight Guy community is growing…. Now it’s time for world takeover. >:]

    Can’t wait for your next chapter review!! =]]

  60. Twilighters.Org | For the Obsessed Twilight Saga Fan - Breaking Dawn - Forums - Gallery - New Moon - Eclipse -Stephenie Meyer - Updates, News & more!

    [...] AND, Twilight Guy has blogged about Chapter 16: Carlisle. [...]

  61. Joa_Cullen

    Hey Kaleb! as always you make me laugh! …the menu..Edward must be there too..XD.The mona lisa with twilight is amazing!!.I adore Carlisle he is such a deep character.. and for that soo interesting…
    greetings from uruguay
    Joa_Cullen

  62. patrice

    Yeah, Carlisle is a really interesting character. Very deep. I think that Edward probably feels the same way as him, just not at the same magnitude.
    I have no idea how you manage to read so slowly! I can’t do this at all. If I like a book, I devour it in an hour or so. If I find it hard to get into, it MIGHT take a day. I’m a fast reader!! I read these books in class, actually. Nothing better to drown out a droning teacher with than a good book.

    Oh, I’ll have to come check out your restaurant. Looks pretty good. Quite a variety of dishes. However, I find bear rather tough and deer too salty for my taste. I guess I’ll have to go for some Bella Swan…

    God I love your pictures!!

  63. Denise

    Hey so I saw the mention of Edwards music again and I was wondering if it does go into specifics artists. I can’t remember, and now that you mention the 50s music I can totally see him listening to some Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. Then I also thought of some Elvis Presley. I don’t know why but the crooners just seem right. it seems like it would go along with his piano skills. haha sorry this comment is all some crazy rambling train of thought. I’m just going to go put on so 50s music and rock out like a Cullen.

  64. Shelby

    Kaleb, you’re awesome. I love how you seriously get this book! You break it down so easily and its great to read what yiou’re thinking about the book.

    I can’t wait until you make to New Moon! I love that one…its not the happiest of the series but its good nonetheless. Every girl who reads my comment is gonna totally kill me for saying that! Most girls hate New Moon….And when you read it, you will find out within the 3 chapter…and then a little after that.

    Sorry, I’m babbling on and on… anyways…………

    Keep on reading! Can’t wait for you to finish it! lol

  65. Kelly

    I loved the menu for Kaleboni’s. Those darn lasagna thieves, why can’t they ever leave you alone? :]

  66. Becky

    haha.. the Mona Lisa thing made me laugh.
    and in response to your response to a comment above (if that makes sense)
    wow, 2 years on one book? I read Eragon in a 3 days!
    how do you remember what’s happening?

    I can’t wait until you get farther into the series, it should be interesting to see what you think about what happens ^_^

  67. Aly

    LOL of course The Mona Lisa would smile. I would too if i got to meet Dr. Fang in person!

  68. Lizz

    Hey! My name is Liz and I have to tell you that you absolutely ASTOUND me that you read Twilight. I’m trying to get one of my best guy friends to read it but he keeps making up excuses.
    So I sent him a link to your website in hopes that he will realize that it IS all right for guys to read the book! If your website DOES inspire him I will definitely worship the ground you walk on!
    Btw. You havent talked much about Jasper, not that there is much to talk about but besides Edward, he’s my favorite character. Do you have any views on him so far? I mean he hasnt really been introduced but what are your first impressions?
    Thanks!
    Liz

  69. Maxine

    So I am pretty sure that my laptop died about 9:30pm last night so I didn’t get to your post till 7:45pm today afterin the library at the community college where I’m taking History 1302. You know. College….

    &&& Let me say that I laughed so much/hard that I was asked to quiet down or leave the library. THANKS A LOT KALEB!!!
    just kidding.

    I love Carlisle. He is my SECOND favorite Cullen, behind Edward, DUH! He has lived for so many years and has seen so many things. I wish I could just have a day with him to ask him about everything that has happened in the past. Like…how was it to live through WWII (once again, history 1302) or was the 70′s as cool as they say it was? I don’t know, it’s all I can think of typing right now. AND if Carlisle REALLY existed I’m pretty sure he could find the cure for cancer, AIDS, and alzheimer’s . ( just had to say that) haha

    Good post.
    Funny.
    && made my day better, after finding out that

  70. Maxine

    So I am pretty sure that my laptop died about 9:30pm last night so I didn’t get to your post till 7:45pm today after class in the library at the community college where I’m taking History 1302. You know. College….

    &&& Let me say that I laughed so much/hard that I was asked to quiet down or leave the library. THANKS A LOT KALEB!!!
    just kidding.

    I love Carlisle. He is my SECOND favorite Cullen, behind Edward, DUH! He has lived for so many years and has seen so many things. I wish I could just have a day with him to ask him about everything that has happened in the past. Like…how was it to live through WWII (once again, history 1302) or was the 70′s as cool as they say it was? I don’t know, it’s all I can think of typing right now. AND if Carlisle REALLY existed I’m pretty sure he could find the cure for cancer, AIDS, and alzheimer’s . ( just had to say that) haha

    Good post.
    Funny.
    && made my day better, after finding out that my laptop shall be with HP for 2 wks.

  71. Maxine

    and the 1st of the 2 posts is due to the fact that I am on my ANCIENT (Windows XP) home PC.

    my apologies.

  72. Lisa

    i’d love to visit ur vampire restaurant… if i were one :( and don’t even think about stealing from Edward’s collection, i’m sure he knows every single CD that he owns… and i mean you wont be able to get into his house anyway because of all the fangirls waiting outside :D
    oh and im sure 99.99% of the girls… and ladies LOVE Edward. over all it’s very interesting the way you look at every single chapter so far. i enjoy reading them a lot… keep up the good work!

  73. koop

    ahahahah i love how people still ask you why you are callled kaleb nation!
    all your discussion did was make me hungry now!

  74. Ellen

    I love reading your posts, they make me laugh so hard. Especially when you write about stupid stuff people have sad and/or asked. Keep up the great work :)

  75. Laura

    Lol. Kaleb, you make me laugh so much, it’s not even funny! My mom is even thinking about banning me from your site when my brothers are asleep so I don’t wake them up with my loud laughing and chortling I do whenever I visit twilightguy.com. Keep up the wonderfabulawesome(wonderful+fabulous+awesome) work!

  76. vesper

    Who wouldn’t smile when they are holding twilight??? (unless while they are reading it they remember it is just a bokk…that would be upsetting)

    Chef! How much is that Bella Swan?

  77. Krissie

    ok, i have to admit that it wasn’t a unique name for a site, but reading your explanation why it’s Kaleb Nation i’ll keep my mouth shut. but hey!you’re one hell of a guy. I actually read fast (i read Twilight in 36 hours considering i was supposed to be at work but due to food poisoning had to stay home, i read New Moon in 24 hours and after 2 days i started reading Eclipse and took 24 hours again to finish it.end of explanation). but i must admit that sometimes i would rather read books….continued next post

  78. Krissie

    cont. in a much slower pace, just so i can tell my self that the book will never end, especially if it’s a good book. i get sad if i read the last page and is about to close the book. oh yeah, did i say YOU REALLY ROCK!!i’m half across the globe and came upon your site. i have gay friends reading the series but no guy friends would dare pick up the book (i’ll try to convince them) but you’re a good example to the alpha male specie. keep inspiring!

  79. Kiersten

    I am a new visitor to your blog here, but I have had the pleasure of being kept up to date on your site by my twilight friends who can not get enough of you. I have to say that now that I have had this experience first hand, I am hooked! I will have to pass this blog along to my husband who has read Twilight also. He read it under the guise of being interested to find out the contrasts of some of the characters to White Wolf. Although I am sure that was just an alabi. The truth? I totally got him hooked as I had him read to me in the car while I drove. :D

    Alright, back to the reason I decided to post. I just want to say I admire your dicipline, in only reading one chapter here and there. I could not do that! Infact my husband knows that anytime I am up past midnight it is becuase I am reading a twilight book. Most likely Eclipse, because well that is the best one and the one I read most often.

    Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more of your blog.

  80. Miao Ru

    This is actually one of the first times I have read your website. but i must say that you are brave because you are reading twilight, funny because you add your own lines to the pages and wise because you can read within the text. you can interpret what the text means. When I read twilight (a while back), I didn’t think about it as much as you did.
    Good job! :)

  81. Alice

    QUOTE:
    Edward sighed: “I’m not that popular, just 98% of girls adore me.”

    Actually, I think there’s a good reason for that missing two percent. It’s obvious that they haven’t read the books yet.

  82. Jen

    First of all, I laughed so hard at the mention of Lasagna burglars in the menu! Secondly, it cracked me up to find that people ask why you call yourself Kaleb Nation. Thanks for the laughs!

  83. Katie Lynn

    Oh wow i feel pretty stupid now…..i thought you were going to take over the world thats why you called yourself kaleb nation i always found it amusing but i have to say thats the coolest last names ever! the lasagna burglars strike again! that cracked me up :]

  84. Elizabeth

    I’m ashamed to say that I am one of “those” people who didn’t know that Nation was your last name. I just thought you came up with a sweet pen name, and for a minute there, I almost didn’t believe your post.

  85. priss

    Edward: “Carlisle stayed with them for only a short time, just a few decades.”

    Edward yawned: “This house wasn’t that expensive, just a couple trillion.”

    Edward sighed: “I’m not that popular, just 98% of girls adore me.”

    this is like the third time i have seen your page…

    I found the graphics( the menu is awesome, i think the cullens would love it, but maybe they would think it twice when they get to the Bella part) really hillarious but this quotes are excellent, they are so true that i can imagine edward saying them.

  86. Gladys

    LOL!! at the menu, that was hilarious :) When I read this cahpter I had the same wish as you did, dig in Edward`s music collection, imagine all those cd`s!! super cool. Great post, you never stop amazing me :O

  87. Dylan

    LOL! I picture Carlile as Professor Xavior from X-men…. >_<

  88. Steph

    Ahhh… your musings are awesome.
    Nice song choice.
    Yes, that is EXACTLY how I imagined Carlisle’s father… how strange. I don’t like Carlisle so much. He’s too… accommodating and *struggles with words* nice. He’s a good character and everything, but he just… lacks an interesting enough personality. He’s not flawed enough.
    Oh, wow… this bit.
    Edward: “Carlisle stayed with them for only a short time, just a few decades.”

    Edward yawned: “This house wasn’t that expensive, just a couple trillion.”

    Edward sighed: “I’m not that popular, just 98% of girls adore me.”
    Just absolutely, amazingly, unbelievably genius! I never even paid much attention to that line!
    Yeah, I think Stephenie Meyer would have good reason to be freaked out by now…

  89. Yona

    Personally, I think Stephanie M. should write a book from Edward’s point of view and a book about Carlisle. Who’s your favorite Twilight character?

  90. Lexi

    My favorite is Alice. I know this is weird, but do you think vampires can turn their pets into vampires? By the way, this site is really funny so please keep adding. :D

  91. Yona

    Remember how they said, “The kinds of names grandparents had.”? Well, my grandma’s name is Alice!

  92. Lexi

    Back again! Do you really like where this book is going? I LUV it. Really…Stephanie didn’t have to get me hooked on Jacob in the second book. What do you say?

  93. Yona

    :) ;) ;D :o

  94. Lexi

    ;o %/

  95. Kat

    Edward: “Carlisle stayed with them for only a short time, just a few decades.”

    Edward yawned: “This house wasn’t that expensive, just a couple trillion.”

    Edward sighed: “I’m not that popular, just 98% of girls adore me.”

    HAHAHAHHAa..!!
    that was awesome..!

  96. Tori Schmitz

    Your Conveyance of Geewillikers is almost as good as moot point.
    And the nonchalance of their age and everything is comical. LOL

    -Tori-

  97. Dara E!

    Wow…I was laughing so hard at this posts and the beginning comments my parents thought I went psycho! There are literally tears coming out of my eyes from laughind so hard!

    That name thing is HILARIOUS!

  98. alice

    OMG I LUVVVVVVVVV TWILIGHT ITS THE BEST BOOK EVER

  99. TeamVolturi

    Wow…this website is awesome!
    Edward: “Carlisle stayed with them for only a short time, just a few decades.”

    Edward yawned: “This house wasn’t that expensive, just a couple trillion.”

    Edward sighed: “I’m not that popular, just 98% of girls adore me.”

    I know, right? A couple decades as freaking long!
    Though, maybe to a stupid vampire with messy hair…

  100. Candy Bilyk

    I know this post is super old now (and usually I don't add comments when that's the case – it just feels so futile and non-relevant) but I wanted to tell you that I also misimagine characters. For me it's a pretty regular thing, any book I read I end up making my own picture of the person instead of how they're described visually.

    The first time I read Twilight, I definitely saw Carlisle as a short, squat man, and even balding a little, which does anything but fit in with Bella's description of his movie-star like qualities.

    I also felt very strongly that Alice was blonde and Rosalie a brunette. My inner visions were altered once I started seeing the movie posters (and to be honest, in some cases I like the movie casting better than my own ^_^), but until then I actually confused myself sometimes when Stephenie would write something contrary to my images.

    For me, though, I think it's because I read too quickly (especially the first time through a book) and don't drink in all of the details in descriptions, allowing me to really make my own picture.

  101. Anna

    Type your comment here.it is amazing!you really could NOT! ask for more.Stephanie you deserve to get world`s most awesome author .Jacob black is hilariousand OMG dropdead beautiful.bella is accident prone.

  102. ummhedaya

    Yeah, I know I'm really late to join this crazy Twi-craze… but dude… you are soooo funny!!! I love your commentary on the chapters… good work!

  103. Philipogrady

    Only recently discovered your site and I absolutely adore your analisys of Twilight.
    I think you may have created an amazing new Twilight term!! Vampire baseball- Vampball!!
    Pure genious or maybe im just sad and obsessed?
    Don't really care and thats why Twihards are so misunderstood!!
    We love it no matter what any one else thinks.
    I highly agree with what you said about Carlisle's inner turmoil.
    You are simply a gift from God!!

    Love and kisses, Sarah

  104. Philipogrady

    Only recently discovered your site and I absolutely adore your analisys of Twilight.
    I think you may have created an amazing new Twilight term!! Vampire baseball- Vampball!!
    Pure genious or maybe im just sad and obsessed?
    Don't really care and thats why Twihards are so misunderstood!!
    We love it no matter what any one else thinks.
    I highly agree with what you said about Carlisle's inner turmoil.
    You are simply a gift from God!!

    Love and kisses, Sarah

  105. Mickey Not Mouse

    LMAO! “not available due to burglars” I love you! lol and I thought almost the exact same thing when I read: “Carlisle stayed with them for only a short time, just a few decades.” lol ^.^

    –Mickey

  106. Twritebite

    http://www.cafepress.com/twilightsaga5
    This chapter wasn't in the Twilight movie. Oddly enough it was in the New Moon movie just before Bella's birthday party.
    http://www.cafepress.com/twilightsaga5

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