LIVING WITH A TWILIGHTMOM
“To guys with girlfriends who are obsessive Twilighters, and think it’s crazy, just wait. Try living with an obsessive Twilight MOM.
Every day, I awaken to my mom sitting at the computer, rushing to check every website or blog for updates (forgetting her son’s breakfast). We have two or three copies of each book, some of them signed, others tattered, others always loaned out. My home has become a meeting place for her Twilight friends. I come in from school, and there they are, all gabbing about Edward and Jacob. And for hours, that’s most of what they talk about. Jacob and Edward. Edward and Jacob. Thank you mom, I’ll just have a microwave dinner…again. Imaginary boys are more important that little old George.
Let me remind you of one fact: my mom is not twenty two. She is forty three. Not old, but still…she’s gabbing with her friends about cute guys in books and the new movie coming and the latest vampire news *just like* almost every girl at school. I thought about conducting tests for mind-altering chemicals in our water. But it gets worse.
There is this girl at school who was coming over to my house. A gorgeous, sweet girl who is a genius at almost everything. So I was taking her over to my house. I was very happy about this. But we walk through the door, right into the middle of a Twilight meeting. She hears the name Edward, and bam! They have a new member to their club. And I again go to warm up my own microwave dinner, while *they* all sit and talk…without me.
So after this going on for quite a long time, and fearing the same to happen with every girl I ever bring near my mother, I decided it was time to grab one of the books and get reading. I nearly sent my mom into a heart attack when I grabbed her her signed one. Rule 1 in our house…do not touch mom’s singed copies. Those were touched by Stephenie Meyer once. She should have just kept them in a sterile chamber.
Anyway, I read the first one in about a day. Mom was thrilled. She had me on the second one the next day, and called all her Twilight friends. One of her sites every morning happened to be yours, so I got called a Twilight guy a million times after that. I finished the next one in 3 days. Right now, I’m onto the third book. And I have to admit, I love it.
Now, when I come in from school, I can join in along with them (except, of course, the cute guys thing. As if I care! I’m a guy. I usually do homework when they start that up, or go watch some sports…trying to keep some hold on my man card there har har). The best is, the girl I mentioned earlier comes sometimes, and when my mom’s friends are there it’s like a little club. So yay. I might get to know her more. Thanks to my Twilight Mom.
So I’m a Twilight guy now and proud of it.”
Submitted by George.