(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

TwilightGuys Report: Edward Nearly Stole His Girlfriend

July 1st, 2008 at 12:04 am by Kaleb Nation

Some of the most common reasons I have found that guys pick up Twilight is because they first mistakenly believe their girlfriends have fallen for some new guy named Edward, only to find out (amidst buckets of laughter from their girlfriends) that he is from a book. Take JC for example:


EDWARD NEARLY STOLE HIS GIRLFRIEND

 

“Okay, the only reason I read the Twilight Series was so I would get what my girlfriend was talking about. First, you have to understand the situation.

Emily (The girlfriend) Loves to read. After awhile, I started hearing her and her friends talking about “Edward” And how hot he is. And how they wish they could date him. She, of course, had no idea I was within hearing distance when she and friends said these things.

By coincidence, a new kid named Edward had joined our school that year. Nothing that special about him. I was understandbly confused, as most of her friends are dating other guys steady as it is, and she was(and is) dating me.

Then I started hearing about how she wishes Edward would bite her. Strange.

At this point, I was tired of hearing her and friends whisper about him, so I asked if she wanted to break up with me. She started to cry and asked why I didn’t want her any more. I was like….Uh, I thought you liked Edward. Her response :”Edward? Who told you i liked Edward?”

I told her about what I’d heard her say. She started laughing and explained Edward was a character in a book. I still didn’t get what was so great about him, So she had me read the series and I actually like them. The kicker? I bought the Twilight book for her for her birthday.”

Submitted by JC.

He gets a t-shirt for free from Twilightteez.com for his story!


Posted in TwilightGuys Report
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50 Responses

  1. Kate

    Ha ha ha! Poor JC. That’s a hilarious coincidence. Poor New-Kid-Edward, too! Could you imagine how confused HE must have been? But maybe he has read Twilight, too… Hmm…

    Good thing things didn’t go too sour. I’m sure Emily is very appreciative of his understanding, and the wonderful birthday present!

  2. Christina

    Haha! That was hilarious. Kinda makes me wonder how many random guys named Edward think they’re like extremely popular…lol!

  3. Brianna

    How cute! What a sweet guy….He bought her Twilight for her birthday…awl what a sweetheart…and he likes the book too…even better! =]
    That was such a cute story and that must have scared her half to death when he asked if they should break up, I’m glad it had a happy ending!
    P.S. that was hilarious about the new kid Edward…is he single? JK =]

  4. Kaylee

    Poor Edward, if all the guys with girlfriends assume the same thing, he may be in for some trouble if they decide to fight.

  5. Jennifer

    Haha, oh my :D

    I find this story cute (:
    And hilarious … lol. So nice how much he thought about it, asking her and stuff :D

  6. Mary

    Wow, that’s funny. No, I think guys whose names are Edward won’t get anyone to date them, because girls will always be comparing them with the real Edward. And Robert. I don’t think I could date someone named Robert anymore. =]

  7. AussiePattinsonLove

    That is so cute. My Favourite bit was when he heard her say she wanted Edward to bite her hahaha poor JC. At least he asked her before things got out of hand.

  8. K.T.

    Great story! =] lol!

    “Then I started hearing about how she wishes Edward would bite her. Strange.”
    rofl!
    gosh, i never realized how weird that would sound to someone outside of the twilight fandom… wow…

  9. Krissie

    hahaha!how adorable! he actually reminds me of my own boyfriend. he keeps on hearing about Edward from me that he actually thought that he’s a real guy, til i told him that he’s a vampire. ^_^ guys’ reaction to Edward is so cute…they don’t know what to think about him….^_^

  10. M.A.Estman

    AW! thats awesome! a new guy named Edward…poor guy, he wouldve been so confused if there had been a confrontation…

  11. Katie Beth

    Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious. “Strange.” I’m laughing so hard. :-D

    Happy Twilight Tuesday!

  12. Jennifer

    “Then I started hearing about how she wishes Edward would bite her.”

    Hilarious. It’s great–I love it.

  13. Jess

    That is way too funny. xD

  14. Ash is DA Bomb!

    Lol! Too funny!!! I’m happy it worked out though but I feel sorry that kid named Edward he must be clueless wondering why all the girls are talking about him lol!

  15. Catherine

    The poor guy! :P

  16. Natasha

    Hahaha, poor girl.
    Thanks Kaleb!

  17. Gabriella Cullen

    OMG
    thats so cute!
    yeah and i feel sooo sorry for that edward kid, he must be so comfused. There was a situation in my neighborhood like that too where this guy Eddie thought all us girls were crushing on him. We made his sister make him read the book and now the poor dude feels like a schmuck b/c there’s no way klutzy old Eddie could compare to a sparkly vampire. He was going to change his name to Paco in an effort to avoid comparison but as one of his best friends i talked him out of it. we all call him Eddie now instead of Edward to avoid the comfusion and i think thats helped some.
    ***

  18. April K.

    Thats so cute! i know everyone says that but its true!!

  19. Joa_Cullen

    that´s sooo cute and funny!!great story!
    greetings from uruguay!

  20. Mara-Kate

    that is hilarious ! I want one of my twiguy friends to submit his story..similarly he came on us “girls” having a not-so-g-rated edward discussion and his gf was in on it too! ;) cute story :D

  21. Arielle

    That was adorable! Heeheehee. That made me smile.

  22. Elise

    lol! I wish that would happen to me…..but I have no boyfriend….

  23. Dianne

    Lol. Funny!! That’s really strange, too. :)

  24. Cassandra

    OME. That is soooo sweet.
    JC,
    Can we borrow your DNA and make clones of you?
    Seriously.
    Please.
    Pretty pretty please with a gigantic cherry on top.
    I’ll even include some whip cream.
    PLLLEEEEAAASSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE.
    ;D

  25. Claire

    Poor Edward. New guy at school, and he probably thinks half the girls (sorry, nine-tenths) are crushing on him!

    I had something sort of similar happen (to a weird extent) at school where a teacher thought my friend and I were brainstorming ways to kill Jacob, a boy in our grade. We did explain to him that we were talking about Jacob Black.

  26. Olivia

    Uuhm.

    that was my favorite Twilight Guy story so far.

    ahmazing.
    I laughed quite a bit.

    :)

  27. Savannah

    Oh! Poor JC!

  28. Anna

    I had the same exact situation with my boyfriend!
    and it had the same exact result.
    Twilight does magical things :)

  29. Becky

    awww…
    but poor Edward, I hope no one asks him why their girlfriends all want him to bite them- that might be awkward!
    I almost feel sorry for the boy named Jacob in my grade, he’s probably heard a few disturbing things from Twilight fans ^_^

  30. hazel

    HAHAHAHAHAH. lol

  31. KraZEe4TwiLIght

    Stories like that always make me think about Twi-coversations i’ve had with my friends. Do you know how strange we must sound…”I want someone rock solid and cold”-me (i’m pro EDWARD!) “I don’t I want…someone else…”-my friend (strangly she likes Mike…isn’t that WEIRD?)

    Also my friend’s “I hate Bella” rants…

    “Oh I wish he would just rip her head off with his hands. Just snap her freakin’ neck already!” She probably sounds really sadistic to everyone else. “He should just drain her of all her blood” (seriously I don’t understand my friend…I LOVE BELLA! but she seems to think she’s the devil incarnate.)

  32. Patrice

    Ahhahaha so funny and cute! Reminds me of how me and my friends talk about Edward at our lunch table, and all the guys are like, “Who’s this Edward guy?”
    And then there is a Jacob in my school and whenever I see him I think of Jacob and Twilight. Ahh it’s so weird and embarassing!

  33. Sarah

    Ok everybody go: “AW! He got her Twilight for her birthday!” in 3…2…1…(Covers ears from loud screaming)
    Hmm…that reminds me of the time they had us scream “CONGRATS ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT EDWARD AND BELLA!” at a Blue Man Group Concert to some random PEOPLE named Edward and Bella in the VIP section…My friend searched him out and practiacally tackled him after the concert was over…It makes you wonder how many guys named Edward out there are dating girs named Bella…

  34. Sarah

    Wait, I havn’t said everything yet! (My friend pushed the submit key)
    To KraZEe4TwiLIght: I want to meet your friend! Bella seriously needs to die…Or whatever it is she’ll do if we murder her. (Seriously, I don’t think she’ll die if we kill her)
    And to Cassandra: (My best friend, who is a boy, wants to say this to you) I’m really REALLY scared of you.
    Ok, NOW I am done.

  35. Lauren

    that is soo cute and funny!!! I was like awww! when I read that wow I never thought of how Edward in peoples girlfriends minds would freak them out…. unless they knew who he was haha. and oh my gosh! I know what you mean sarah! there are these people around where I live and this girl named bella who drives a red truck is dating this guy named Edward who drives a volvo I practically screamed when I herd about this… it is funny now that I look back on being told this

  36. Lauren

    and I know what everyone means I mean me and my friends talk about the Twilight characters as if they were real….. my sister gets sooo annoyed when I compare something to Twilight or one of the books. But I can’t help it… I’ve read them all around seven to nine times (each) they just rock and I can never get enough of Edward. I want my man to be cold, dead, and *imitates Jeff Dunahm* SPARKLY!! heehee

  37. Edward

    AWWWW!! Theres a guy named edward at my school 2, but hes kinda scary!! Teehee! Im glad ther was a happy ending!!

  38. EdwardLUBBER---

    haha about the Mike lovers, i have two of them that i know!! Tres aannoying, no?

  39. irene

    “Then I started hearing about how she wishes Edward would bite her. Strange.”

    hahaha…lol..that part was so funny.

  40. Caitlyn

    That was funny! i love that one!

  41. jennifer

    you think people who like mike are strange? I have a friend who likes ERIC, seriously i don’t know why but she does. it would seriously mess up my brain if I went to school with someone named edward, jacob’s one thing, its a fairly common name, but edward? I’ld be SO messed up i would always think about twilight whenever I looked at him.

  42. ally

    ome, that is soooo cute :) :) but i have a funny story now. me and my friend were talking once about how we could kill jacob etc. but when we were finished our whole rant we realized that this kid named jacob was sitting, like, RIGHT next to us, and he’d heard the whole entire thing. it took us like an hour to explain it :) and yeah, i would be pretty messed up if i was friends with a guy named edward, especially if he looked anything like robert XD lol.

  43. Edgar

    Wooooooooooooooooooow!!! That is awsome. READ TWILIGHT!!!! (Oviously).

  44. Pinkchan

    What ally says is funny I can just imagine

    “OH Jacob(gulp) is not what you think we dont want to kill you, we are talking about killing another Jacob”

    LOL

  45. Amanda

    Ha, that’s really funny! That’s kinda like how one time, my friend and I got to talking about the series at school. She is on Team Jacob, I’m on Team Edward. She (as usual) started talking about why I shouldn’t hate Jacob, and I got into my rant about how he was a total jerk and explaining the many ways I wished he could die. Then, I noticed a guy near by looking at us strangly, and suddenly remembered that his name was Jacob. Oops.

  46. JENNI

    OHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE EDWARD!!!! I hear they may cast Steven Strai as the GROWN UP Jacob!!! IF SO Edward has some HOTT competition!! OW OW!! I LUV EDWARD!!!! LOL

  47. Randomness

    HE IS HOT!!! MINE!!!

  48. TwilightGuys Report: Edward Meets Bella…In Real Life

    [...] TwilightGuys Report: Edward Nearly Stole His Girlfriend Some of the most common reasons I have found that… [...]

  49. Neo Alexandra

    That’s so funny! A bit pitty for the guy, though. But a happy ending!
    My friend and I was talking about Edward and Jacob -whitch team we were on: I’m on team Edward. I’m team Jacob.. then a girl from the class walks by and says: I’m on team Jasper.
    <3

  50. Kailin

    AWW!!! That must have been so confusing for the BF! My BF was really confused before he found out what Twilight truly was. We acually got together after I “gently” and “non-violently” informed him to read Twilight! Anyways, AWWW!!!!

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