(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

TwilightGuys Report: The Audio-Book Burglar

July 18th, 2008 at 12:10 am by Kaleb Nation


THE AUDIO-BOOK BURGLAR

“I am a younger brother . . . the middle child. My sister, as so many teen girls are, is completely obsessed with twilight. Obsessed to the point where she has an entire ipod devoted to having the books on tape at her ears at all possible times .

I keep hearing all my female friends gush over how gentlemanly Edward is and how ‘why can’t I be more like him’ or how adventerous Jacob is and so on, over and over again, so I decided that I was going to figure out what all the fuss is about.

My sister, who usually sleeps while listening to the books, was charging her ipod one night instead, so I went in and stole it. I spent all night listening and eventually got hooked.

I now see my younger twin siblings, who are a boy and a girl, as Jasper and Rosalie. The boy usually stays in the corner ( although he instinctively knew to go and give my sister a chair when she found out about the twilight movie) and the girl is always out there just like Rosalie. She got hooked by my sister and has now taken to actually referring to herself and her twin as Jasper and Rosalie.

But then, unfortunately, my boys caught me talking about my theories for breaking dawn in my sleep. So now my secret’s out and my sister will probably never forgive me for stealing her ipod because, as she puts it

‘those two weeks were the most unrestful nights of her life’

But the good news is I got a girlfriend because I “became” Edward. She is my Bella. I also think that my older sister actually is psychic because she already knew to reserve my a copy of breaking dawn too.”

Submitted by W

He gets a free t-shirt from TwilightTeez.com for his story!


Posted in TwilightGuys Report
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41 Responses

  1. Arianne

    “She is my Bella”

    that is seriously sooo adorable
    my heart just melted

  2. Natalie

    Awww.

    I love how all the guys that read Twilight automatically get into serious relationships.

    Haha. Twilight is a chick-magnet, I guess. lol

    Edward is everything we want guys to be and it is awesome that they can learn from him.

  3. Emmy-lou

    Sorry. As sweet as that sounds, no one can “become” Edward. Sorry.

  4. Shelley b.

    ok, you have your Bella… why can’t I find my Edward?

  5. Kaitlyn

    That isso cute. Why don’t any of the guys I know give Twilight a chance?

  6. Kyra

    “Shes my Bella” AWWW That is so sweet! I hope I find a guy like that!

  7. Nicole

    Hahahah why is this the cutest story? “She is my Bella.” Gah! I hate the cuteness that is exuding from this story.

  8. Giada

    That’s a nice story :) It must be really nice to have so many sibilings; I can’t get my sis to read the Twilight series just because I got it in English and she’s not very good at it… I told her a thousand times that’s a good way to improve her knowledge of the language plus reading a wonderful novel, she just won’t listen. Lazy, stubborn sister :/

  9. Minh Thu

    Aw!!! “She is my Bella.” That#s so cute!

  10. Minh Thu

    Aw!!! “She is my Bella.” That’s so cute!

  11. Minh Thu

    Sorry for the double posting xDDD

  12. Jessie

    AW isn’t my brother adorable. . . but i didn’t get any sleep those night but oh well now i have someone to drag to the bookstore on Aug.1 at midnight. yeah. . . now i’m going to yell at him for claiming to become Edward.

  13. M.A.Estman

    AWWW THAT IS SOOO CUTE! IM SO GLAD HE FOUND HIS BELLA!

  14. Aishah

    I too have the audio books!!
    Thought there were some parts when the narrator was trying to imitate Edward’s voice that was really funny. Couldn’t stop smiling at myself when I hear her trying to sound Edward-ly..,

  15. Mara-Kate

    awwww so cute!!! “shes my bella” ~ tht part was definitely the highlight of the story, that and learning about the real life Jasper child LOL

  16. Lara

    AWWWW. So cute.
    Lucky Guy.
    He found his Bella.

    At least we have more proof that twilght serves as a lesson to all guys.. =D

  17. Sarah

    “She is my Bella”
    That is such a sweet way of putting it!
    You shouldn’t have stolen your sister’s iPod though D= thats just horrible! Poor sister =(

    But besides that fact…
    GOOD JOB W! XD

  18. Twilighter Fanpire Stephanie

    You want a girlfriend, read Twilight haha. “She is my Bella” aww and Jasper and Rosalie!! I wish I had siblings like that :(

  19. Alexis B.

    Grrrr. Get to the next chapter already!!!

  20. Becky

    :D another twiguy success story! seriously, they should market these books as dating help or something.

    now I’ve just got to find MY Edward…

  21. Allie

    Haha. I agree with Becky. I don’t think most guys understand how many girls they could get if they could have the maturity to read Twilight seriously.

    Cute story! I love all of these reports. They give me hope. :D

  22. Nicole

    Sweet Story!

    I do feel sorry for his sister though…without her iPod! I would die if I couldn’t get my Twilight fix!!!

  23. Samie

    omg! that is by far the best twilight guy story ever!

    she is my bella!

    so cute!!! i hope u told her that! she would love to hear it! hehe

  24. Len

    Such a cute story. Twilight does bring people together. Now where’s Alice, I have to ask her where’s my Edward…lol

  25. Natasha

    Agreeing with Becky!
    Seriously Kaleb, you need to publish all of these in a Chicken Soup for the Soul way.
    I would buy it!

  26. Christina

    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! That was so freakin adorable! Gah! Where’s my guy like that?? :(

  27. Kelly

    AWWWW! Why can’t guys at my school be like that! (and all of your other stories!) I mean serieously!

  28. Sarah

    “She is my Bella.” AWWWW!!

    That is so adorable! If only all of us girls could find someone that we could say to: “I’ll be your Bella, if you’ll be my Edward.” That is so sweet. I got a good laugh though at the sleep talking about Breaking Dawn. I guess us, Twilighters, never take a break from Twilight; even when we think we are, lol.

  29. Sarah

    I’ll be your Bella if you’ll be my Edward. Tee hee.

    Very cute!

  30. Katie Beth

    O_O Zomg. For real.

  31. Lolo

    After reading Twilight, I was like “I wish there are guys like Edward out there and I can find my Edward! :) “. This comment just says it all. It was adorable! How awesome that this world now has a real life Edward and he has his Bella?! It’s too cute! Now I’m on the ‘hunt’ for my Edward! :)
    Great TwiGuy story!

  32. W

    Yes I understand that I am not nor ever will be Edward! However if we pick up a few of his traits we may just get all the girls. Also where is my t-shirt . . . if the book is a babe-magnet then how much do you think the shirt will be ( yes i am still with my bella, but i dared one of my friends to wear it and see if he is recepted better by the female population)!

  33. shadesofblack

    Sweet.

  34. Jennifer

    Hahahhaa !

    I totally loved the, “talked about my theories of breaking dawn” in my sleep !

    Hilarious [:
    I would totally be like, :O *shock* gotcha ya !

    ! and congragulations on the girlfriend thing. Twilight just hands out positive things XD

  35. TwilightGuys Report: The Audio-Book Burglar | Twilight News

    [...] the original post on Twilight Guy Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and [...]

  36. HeyJoyous

    That is hilarious! Loved it. :-D

  37. jennifer

    o god i think im gonna puke, great as the story might be these comments are enough to make someone choke “awww thats so CUTE he found his bella” seriously? o well lol i’d love to steal my sisters i pod just to bug her (her music sucks,except the stuff she stole from me) but she loses it so much she wouldnt care :( o well i can find other ways to bug her, she STILL wont read twilight uurrggh shes gonna read it if i have to tie her to a chair and read it out loud to her

  38. Jessie

    Jen . . . i am the sister refered to in said story and yes the comments are mushy, but people are allowed to think cute thoughts. Also stealing my daily twifix for 2 weeks was horrible but if you really want to get your sister to read twilight you don’t have to read it. Thats why they make books on tape and if you tie her to a table with cookies or her favorite food just out of reach well I’m sure that she will quickly give in to your reading demands just so she can eat said food. Plus we all know that by The Meadow Scene she will be as hooked as the rest of us. Also I suggest a gag. According to my brother I am a real life Alice, so follow my predictions and we may have a new twilighter joining the twi-fandom. Good Luck.

  39. Emily

    Haha. ^^ That’s hilarious. Good luck with your Bella. :D

    Now if my brother was stealing Twilight….I’d make him buy his own! (=

  40. w

    the shirt too no ones surprise got him at last count 45 phone numbers 12 dates and numerous texts so my message is to share the wealth if you have a shirt guys and are for whatever reason actually reading this also I just celebrated my 6-month anniversary

  41. dia

    PLEASE DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEST FIVE QUIZZES YOU WILL DIE IN 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READIN THIS DONT STOP THIS IS SO SCARY.xSEND THIS TO FIVE QUIZZES IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSHES NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO SCARY COZ IT ACTUALLY WORKS

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