(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

Some Guys Will Never Learn (III)

August 15th, 2008 at 12:05 am by Kaleb Nation

So first all I want to say is that you suck.

Why are you wasting your time on this (cluck-cluck) book? I know why. Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing you are so cool. Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva better one than…

[unintelligible chicken scratches]

and give me a (bawk)ing break. any guy like edward is a (bawk). a total (bawk). If you inspire to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe is idiot. anbyody can read a book stupid, you are not so cool as you think …

[farmer's tractor rolls by]

Is stephanie Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)?2 Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal guy? Grow up or …

[cows moo in bored tones]

so like I promised here are my directions for you if you even care…1 take your site 2 shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (becuase that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the frist place) and 3 shut up and read a real vampire book [...] yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL!

[farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]

D. (no last initial given)

Yes, he really did spell ‘Fail’ wrong at the end. It was like a cherry topping this delightful ice cream sundae.

Finally, a new hater other than GJ: and with nearly the same skills and vocabulary! He rambled on for quite a while more, but that’s the best-of. The most unfortunate thing is he sent it in from my other website: which means he actually spent time exploring my other pages… :D

As usual, I would give him a shirt, but I don’t think he will give me his address (his email address was obviously fake as well, as all it was was a bunch more…chicken noises ;) ). So, I will be giving his t-shirt to a randomly selected person who COMMENTS on this post with the number of SPELLING MISTAKES (not any of the swearing or grammar, just spelling mistakes). The t-shirt comes from TwilightTeez.com, and if you haven’t seen their site, go check out their cool stuff!


Posted in Hatemail


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476 Responses

  1. Sarah

    nine

  2. nicoleface

    Just spelling? Then nine, including spelling Stephenie wrong which is the epitome of fIAL.

    DFTBA!

  3. Christy

    I caught 10!

  4. Anonymous

    I was almost scared to read it again to count. I got about 7. But I think I lost IQ points. It doesn’t quite seem worth it.

  5. Dayna

    I counted 7, unless you mean left out using the wrong word and forgetting the existence of the space bar, then it’s 9… but i really do want to count all his grammatical errors as well… ap english did teach me something, it seems….

  6. Darcy

    Just found your site and have determined that you are AWESOME.

    And, I believe I found 10 spelling mistakes.

  7. Jamie

    I got 9 including the misspelling of Stephenie’s name and “areal” guy. Wow, I can’t believe he actually had the nerve to send that! Oh well, I really needed a good laugh after a bad day and that helped! :)

  8. Travis

    Nine. I counted Stephenie, because that is technically wrong.

  9. Amanda

    i believe that i caught 10 spelling errors…

  10. Bec

    11

  11. KMom

    Well, that was quite a rude letter. It looks like he should spend his time doing something productive.
    I found 9 spelling errors – I think. The part “and your up here” didn’t make sense even with a “you’re” to replace the your. So that was a bit of a question for me. Let me know if you want the list I found.
    I like your site very much. He sounds better to me. :)

  12. KMom

    I MEANT to say BITTER (not better) wow all that misspelling rubbed off. (What a BAD typo on my part.)

  13. Karen

    Wow. He ‘fials’ at spelling and grammar. There are nine spelling mistakes.

  14. taylor

    there is 10 spelling mistakes.
    and like a million other mistakes, like hating on the most amazing person EVER.

    so he can go (cluck-cluck) on his own time. :D

  15. Sarah

    9 spelling mistakes!

  16. Elizabeth

    ok, i can understand misspelling stephenie since it isn’t the traditional spelling, but “fial”? *shakes head* anyways, pretty sure there’s 9 spelling mistakes.

  17. Angelina

    WOW!

    Another one? Seriously? haha well Kaleb u R POPULAR!

    lol

    well I’m not going into what an idiot he is because I’d be wasting more times on these imbeciles haha.

    and I counted nine but I’m probably wrong since I suck myself but at least I sound smart while doing it lol ^__^

  18. Christina

    I counted 8, but I could be wrong as some of the letter was unintelligible. I find it interesting that he would have the gall to call you an idiot when he clearly publicises to the world that he cannot spell the simplest of words. The vulger language also adds to the whole “he’s an idiot theme” because only people who have a limited vocabulary resort to using profanity as they have no other way to express ideas. I do hope he enjoys reading all of these comments.

  19. Rebecca

    I found 9 spelling mistakes in the letter. Wow, that person needs to go back to basic spelling class in… what? forth grade? And perhaps read a book before he says anyone can read, might help his grammer too. hehe.

  20. kagami

    i got 7… (including the mispelling of stephenie)
    if he thinks reading twilight is a waste of time then why did he go to the site in the first place?

  21. Emily

    I got 8 spelling mistakes

  22. J

    i think i got 8

  23. Grace

    Oh man, I got 10 mistakes!
    I guess you can’t blame him too much, being outdone by a fictional character is sure to bruise a couple egos as well as someone’s spelling ability. ;)

  24. Debra

    Lol, I got 9 spelling mistakes…Kinda makes you think why these guys are so bitter, I bet their girlfriends (if they could get one in the first place being that idiotic and vulgar) left their sorry butts for something better once reading Twilight and your site (because you’re awesome even if you are too young and I’m married). I would really like to know if these people can, in fact, read a book as this guy said everyone can, because I’m under the impression that they can’t because they obviously don’t know how to pick up a dictionary and at least spell things right in a letter they’re trying to sound superior in. I just love how stupid people can make themselves sound and look when they think they’re better than someone else. (I’m a cashier/customer service worker so I see people do that a lot) Ok, all done now. =)

  25. Rhiannon

    9!

    lol, oh wow.
    “uva”?
    Some…Ugh,if you’re going to state your opinion, do it with dignity. Don’t just throw insults and make a fool of yourself.

    But way to go! One of the first indications of becoming famous-ish is getting a few insulting letters, haha.

  26. Des

    nine

    :D

  27. Sarah

    Well, if you mean real, actual spelling mistakes…there are six. (I didn’t count Stephanie as wrong because that is the traditional way to spell it.) Also, I didn’t count ‘areal’ either because that is more a grammatical error than a spelling mistake. Reading this email; I have to say, I was appalled. I am, (what do you call it?) The grammar nazi. Like that woman in the third Series of Unfortunate Events book. If I see a grammatical or spelling error, I HAVE to point it out or fix it, no matter who it belongs to. It’s my pet peeve. So I believe I got these right. :)

  28. Grace

    I counted 8 mistakes!

  29. Sarah

    And I actually just re-read my first post and see an error…ugh that’s going to bug me for awhile…

  30. Ike

    I counted nine mistakes as well. I loved your comments like “farmers tractor rolls by” and “cows moo in bored tones”. I’m a guy, and my friend recommended the books to me and her boyfriend told her about them. I think the saddest part of this ordeal is to see just how badly the school system has failed him. And is it just me, or does anybody get the feeling that he isn’t just opposed to reading the “Twilight” Saga, it is more any book with no pictures and 12 font words that he is scared of?

  31. Kaitlyn

    Wow…that was insightful *heavy sarcasm*

    I think there were nine spelling mistakes, but I’m not completely clear on what is or isn’t a spelling mistake.

  32. Alyssa

    haha, geez.
    i found 9, not counting words used incorrectly (inspire? maybe aspire…)
    ranters should really use spell-check.

  33. Hunter Lepold

    I caught 9

    And wow, what a rude person, I am also a guy, and the 7 girls in my class forced me to read Twilight by use of blackmail, and I am so grateful I read it, it is such an amazing series!

    He is Major Fail!

  34. Jenna

    i counted 9.

    don’t you find it hilarious that this guy took the time to come to your site, browse it (most likely) and write hate mail with such bad grammar. some people!

  35. Natasha

    LOLMAO xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

    D. is “mAJOR fIAL!”

    Oh man, tyvm “D.”, I just had the greatest chuckle!

  36. Athena of Forks

    Another one, eh? The title of this post is so fitting… Some guys never learn!

    Anyway, I counted nine spelling mistakes, including spelling Stephenie wrong. How dare he?! Oh, wait, he doesn’t care! :P

  37. Debra

    Oh man, I just saw something else, does this guy know what punctuation is? Hate to tell the guy, but there is more than just periods and question marks. Oh, and what is a “real vampire book”? There are so many different myths about vampires that I’d like to know what his idea of one is. Oh, I know…
    [IMG] images/1/1a/Thecountsnumberparade.jpg [/IMG]

  38. becky sue

    Ahahaha! I didn’t ever expect to see ANOTHER farm animal around here….. This place is getting to be a real zoo, no? What with the bears, chickens, donkeys, and wolves…… *chuckles* People never fail to shock me. Such rudeness! At least it was amusing, though. I’m not even going to TRY to count the mistakes, let’s just call it “Train-Wreck-Worthy”.

  39. Debra

    Ugh, ok, the picture post didn’t work like on some other sites, so here’s the link to what I’ve come to think is this guys idea of a real vampire book…
    http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/1/1a/Thecountsnumberparade.jpg

  40. g.

    8

  41. gina

    9

  42. Amy

    I’m going to say nine. That includes misspelling Stephenie’s name.

  43. Alyson May

    Seven.

    Not nearly as many as GJ did. Disappointing.

    Still, I laughed so hard. Let’s see if he does a follow-up like GJ. That’d be entertaining. =]

  44. me

    i think it is 10

  45. Karol

    I caught 10!

  46. Meagan

    wow. the NERVE of some people.

  47. Jamie

    i counted 8

  48. Michelle

    I counted 9 errors.

    D should stop being a COW-ard (lmao, I can make farm animal jokes!)by hidind behind fake e-mail adresses. Also, he shouldn’t waste his time sending you hate mail while he could be going to summer school!

    Kaleb, you’re awesome!

  49. katie

    hmmmm i’ll go with 10. maybe 11 if you “helluva” should be “hell of a.” Which I do, so final answer: 11.

  50. Kaiti

    I’m getting 9 if we’re going by the loosest guidelines. However, if we’re only going with straight up spelling mistakes (not just typing errors — like failing to use the space bar — or using the wrong word or using the wrong version of “you’re”) then I get 4. And only 3 if you don’t count the misspelling of Stephenie.

  51. iivxx

    There’s 9 (If i counted correctly):
    1. ‘thing’ – I believe it’s meant to be “think”
    2. your – should be you’re
    3. uva
    4. hhe
    5. stephanie *gasp* hey! He spelt stephenie wrong.
    6. areal
    7. becuase
    8. frist
    9. fIAL – haha

  52. Tracy

    I say 8 and what a moron.

  53. Megan

    Wow, this guy has serious issues. He needs his own life.
    I counted 12, but I might’ve miscalculated.

  54. Rachul

    your = you’re
    thing = think
    hhe = he
    anbyody = Anybody
    stephanie = Stephenie
    areal = a real
    becuase = because
    frist = first
    fIAL = fail

    But if you count lack of capitalization (based off of his horrid punctuation)
    and = And
    any = Any
    a = A
    so = So
    take = Take
    shove = Shove
    shut = Shut
    yOU = You
    aRe = are
    mAJOR = major

    So in total: 19.

    20 if you count uva, which is slang and not correct English.

    I know I can’t win anything. I just like to do this stuff for fun.

  55. Angela

    Ah, what a pleasant guy.

    Though the chicken/farm noises you edited in did make it pretty darn hilarious.

    Nine spelling errors?

  56. Danielle

    Nine, excluding grammatical errors (I’m looking at ‘your’) and including the misspelling of Stephenie’s actual name.

  57. Victoria

    This is horrible… again !

    Ow well, at least it gives me a shot at winning a marvelous T-shirt ! As most here, my bet is on 9 spelling errors.

  58. Charlotte Aakerman

    First count I got 7, second count I got 9 so that will be my bet :)

    Must admit it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, but then again English is my second language.

  59. Minh Thu

    01. you’re (sp)
    02. think (sp)
    03. Well, I (comma)
    04. uva (?, sp)
    05. And (capital/sp)
    06. Any (capital/sp)
    07. Edward (capital/sp)
    08. A (capital/sp)
    09. he (sp)
    10. Anybody (capital/sp)
    11. stupid. You (punctuation and capital/sp)
    12. Stephenie (two mistakes in one word, capital and sp)
    13. 2 (?; what is that number doing there?)
    14. what (“what” doesn’t belong here)
    15. a real (sp)
    16. So (capital/sp)
    17. because (sp)
    18. first (sp)
    19. You (capital/sp)
    20. are (capital/sp)
    21. major (capital/sp)
    22. fail (capital/sp)

    That makes 20. I’m sure I didn’t find every mistake. I’m not a native English speaker. ^^
    He asks why you wast your time but isn’t he doing it himself? Writing letters which are stupid is a time wasting activity.
    I’d love to hit D and GJ once for hating you and Twilight!

  60. Saskia

    I got 9^^ But english isn’t my first language so…
    Omg.. it seems like ppl have no life and are soooo bored and are so jealous of someone who has a life that they try to make as much SPELLING MISTAKES as they can! I can’T believe it ;)
    Like this HP ROCKZ that’s always in your chat ^^
    Who cares :D

  61. Jennifer

    Ha. That made me laugh a bit this morning.
    Kaleb..can I have a shirt??

  62. Stephanie

    I believe that there are 8 spelling mistakes and one missing word.

  63. Stephanie

    I believe that there are 8 spelling mistakes and one missing word. (other is wrong address).

  64. Laura

    Hey, this is Laura from the Philippines. Honestly, this is the first time I’ve ever visited the site. I didn’t really post here to put the spelling mistakes, but since the others before have done so, I will, but at the end.
    What I really wanted to comment on was the emphasis on the gender thing, because I could detect that D. seemed to have some bias on guys reading the Twilight Series. I’m from this co-ed school, and our batch had only around 65 people in our HS. But even with the limited number of students, there was diversity in our personalities. I don’t want to put stereotypes and such. Many guys (and yes I was surprised that some particular ones) here read Twilight and loved it. In fact, it was a guy who recommended I read the book, which had not gained popularity yet in this country. We were ahead of the others in our school. And we spread it around. :) Status quos are not that emphasized in my school. Anyone can hang out with anyone, as long as you enjoy being with those person/s. It saddens me that D. was blinded by prejudice. As females have gained more equal rights with males throughout the years, it’s only fair too that guys can read Twilight, and share in the delight (not just disgust) of the story. Hail Twilight, and I commend you too Kaleb.

    -Laura

    P.S. I counted the spelling mistakes. I didn’t include the other needing spaces and capitalization stuff.
    thing-think (*is this a spelling mistake? I’m not sure if this is grammatical)
    hhe-he
    inspire-aspire*
    anbyody-anybody
    stephanie-Stephenie
    becuase-because
    frist-first
    fIAL-Fail[ure]

  65. Samie

    i hope i dont know that guy! lol.. and i wonder if he even had a GF.. cuz if he had, he wouldnt be saying bad things about edward..lol if u know what i mean..lol oh well some ppl are like that…we all still love you kaleb

  66. DaddyBoJangles

    It doesnt amaze me that you recieve hate mail for what you do, but how much on a daily basis do you recieve? Do you post everyone that you recieve or only the amusing ones ^.^

    Im a 22 year old guy who just started reading Twilight, its an amazing book and I havent been able to put it down. Just got to chapter 18. After I read the chapter I’ve been coming here and reading your insights on it to see how we match up.

    In all honesty it was your website that inspired me to read the novels in the first place. Thank you for the tip off to an amazing novel and what im sure is an equally amazing series.

  67. Johanna

    9 mistakes

  68. JLT

    I counted 7!!

  69. Sabrina

    Wow! What a sad individual *shakes head*
    I’m truly sorry that you have to be subjected to such ignorance and pointless hate.
    No matter! We love you and your websites.
    I caught only six spelling mistakes, but certainly the biggest would be the misspelling of Steph’s name.

  70. Victoria

    I counted 9 spelling mistakes!

  71. Loony_Lovegood

    8 mistakes is what i counted!
    Please give me the shirt!
    This made me laugh. Some people just don’t get how much of an idiot they’re making of themselves. Oh, and HPROCKZ in the chat sounds exactly like him… and he only showed up recently… suspicious…

  72. Devon

    I counted 9 spelling errors, but if you’re counting capitalization as well, then it would be 19.

    Kaleb, you’re awesome, and I loved your video the other day! :)

  73. Jessie

    LOL
    I think my IQ just dropped about 20 point. xD

    Oh, and by the way, I counted nine errors.^^

  74. Jessie

    I meant points. See? I knew I got dumber by reading that letter…

  75. Carla

    Well, apparentely some guys will never EVER learn. *facepalm*

    I would count the mistakes, but I don’t want you to have to send the t-shirt all the way to Portugal. See? I’m your friend. I don’t want you to spend all your money. xD

  76. Joy

    I got seven, eight if you count the fact that he didn’t capitalize Edward’s name. *deathglare*
    Which is a seperate crime in its own right. (:

    Fial. I will remember that forever and always. d:

  77. Tonya

    I’m pretty sure guys like this probably live in the basement of their mom’s house. I’m trying to come up with the right comments for people who waste their time with those kind of messages when they know they won’t make a difference. Clearly he’s not trying to get a girlfriend, because even if a girl hadn’t read Twilight or even didn’t like it, that kind of language and disrespect dosen’t fly.

  78. Lea

    I got 9 too.
    I wonder if this guy:
    -has a life
    -is too superficial to believe that girls DO like guys who know more than cursing!
    -is even a real guy who is probably just mad because his girlfriend got dazzled by the Cullens. :) )

  79. Crystal

    I counted 9, but it all depends on what you’re classifying as a “spelling” mistake

  80. Lisbeth

    I also got nine. I feel sorry for guys who think that letters like this will make the recipient do anything but laugh, and make us all laugh at him. And people who rAndOmlY caPiTaliZe letters- I think his shift key was having problems.

  81. AJ

    I got ten…excluding “uva” at the end of some of his clucking noises. I’m not sure if that counts as a mistake.

  82. Claire

    1. “your” – you’re (Is this a spelling mistake or incorrect usage?)
    2.”thing” – think
    3. “uva” – of a(?)
    4. “inspire” – I assume he meant “aspire,” but who knows?
    5. “hhe” – he
    6. “stephanie” – Stephenie
    7. “areal” – a real
    8. “becuase” – because
    9. “frist” – first
    10. “fIAL” – fail[ure] (Unless he meant to spell “vile,” wishing to express even more of his distaste for you, Kaleb. Even then, he misspelled it. And “major” would need to become “majorly” in that case.)

    When will they learn?

  83. Stephanie K.

    Like most, I found 9 spelling mistakes. I could probably find a lot more, but it’s still too early to function properly.

    It’s quite funny to see these guys trying to make you look bad when, in all their efforts, make themselves look like complete morons. Can’t spell, probably can’t read very well…

    How do they even KNOW about you in the first place?! haha Did they just run a search on Twilight sites or something?

  84. Laynie

    I counted 11 incorrect words (with capitalization errors as well).

  85. Jess

    I caught 6 pure spelling errors. There were also 3 errors in misuse of words (your instead of you’re, etc.) and 1 missed space, which blended two words, and could be counted as a spelling error.

    So there’s my answer. 6. Or 7. Or 9. Or 10.

    As a side note, I’m a teacher, and my middle school students would know better than to hand in a paper with errors this atrocious.

  86. Cassandra Anne

    I counted ten, but there could be more because I have no idea what this is supposed to mean:

    Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing you are so cool.

  87. Ashley

    I found 8 but then again i admit my spelling sucks too.

  88. misstweets

    i found nine =]

  89. M.A.Estman

    How horrible! I dont understand why these guys do things like this…They have to be jealous, only Kaleb Nation would get 80+ comments from mostly girls…
    :-)

  90. Tara

    I counted nine spelling errors. Then again, there were a lot more grammatical errors. I am the first to admit that I cannot spell, but at least I am better than D. If he has the nerve to send that to you, then he should at least show his face. He probably just wants to see all of the responses that his letter will receive. But I wonder how he found out about your website. HHHHMMMMM??????????? ^_^

  91. Alice Cullen

    I counted 9 spelling mistakes. Well, that is if you count uva. The grammar mistakes add up to about 20 if u count them in as well. :D Don’t worry Kaleb. He’s just jealous that nobody like him and he doesn’t have the brain to read the Twilight Saga. *He probably wouldn’t know half of the words that Stephenie uses anyways…* *heehee…:P*

  92. Mary-Shannon

    I got 10 mistakes!!!!

  93. beckyness!

    Ohwow.
    That IS major fial.

  94. Heather S.

    I counted Eight, including Stephenie’s name and ‘areal’. It could be nine if you count ‘inspire’, but I’m not sure if you’re counting that as grammar, since he probably meant ‘aspire’.

    It’s a comfort to know that when someone receives Hate Mail, the sender is usually an idiot, as seen from the mail they send. It’s hard to be insulted by someone with fewer than 70 IQ points. ;)

  95. Tara

    Oh, wait there are 13! I just read it again and found more.

  96. Melissa

    9 mistakes

  97. Ashley

    I got 10. Someone needs to go back to English class…

    So did he hit caps lock at the end to prove his point and still try to capitalize the first letters? Because really bothered me. I wanted to fix his grammar too. Stupid people trying to send hate mail and being one big fIAL.

  98. M. Dub

    I found 8 actual mispelled words, among many other errors in writing.

    Idiot.

  99. Liz

    Aww come on!

    That one wasn’t even that funny, apart from the spelling and grammer mistakes (but that wasn’t even funny).

    It was hard to read with all the clucking, imagine reading it with the real words in there (although he probably spelled all of those wrong =D).

    I am just glad you can take it and make a joke out of it. You are really great Kaleb, there isn’t anything you CAN’T do! Keep up the good spirits!

    P.S. I already have a t-shirt so I am not trying to spell anything wrong.

  100. Kira

    1. your – I believe this is supposed to be a you.
    2. thing – think
    3. uva – of a
    4. inspire – aspire (though I’m sure you’ve inspired someone.)
    5. hhe – he
    6. anbyody – anybody
    7. Stephanie – Stephenie (did he even look at this site?)
    8. areal – a real (spaces are your friend!)
    9. frist – first
    10. becuase – because
    11. Fial – fail

    In closing I would like to say… Spell check should be the best friend of people like this.

  101. Caitlin

    I counted:
    7 spelling mistakes/fake words
    + 1 random “2” which I am thinking was supposed to be “too” and placed before the question mark (maybe?)
    + 2 words that he misspelled because he should have used other words/tenses
    + 1 word that might be spelled wrong (assuming that he meant to say “aspire”)
    = 11

    I didn’t count not capitalizing letters (in front or in the middle of random words) because I would consider that grammar.

    I will never understand why some people, like D/GJ, thrive on negative attention. If he had read the books, he could have sent in a nice e-mail and had it on the website. Then people would be saying nice things about him.

  102. Verali

    well, it all really depends on what you call a spelling error. I am an english fanatic, and I ace everything that has to do with spelling and grammar, so I really couldn’t tell you. There were six. then there were seven. followed by eight. nine came next. and then ten. andthen, if you want to include all the other mistakes….
    well, that would take way to long. and i do agree that his probably just ticked because he lost his girlfriend – if he could get one – to Twilight. and i personally would love to slap him once for you, and four times for twilight – once for every book. you rock, stay strong!
    and what idiot doesn’t even know how to spell the name of the person he’s trying to dis?!

  103. Mimi

    1.your > you’re
    2.thing > think
    3.inspire > aspire*
    4.hhe > he
    5.anbyody > anybody
    6.stephanie > Stephenie
    7.areal > a real
    8.becuase > because
    9.frist >first
    10.fial > fail

    I believe there are ten if you include words wrongly used. If not, then technically inspire is spelt right, but it’s not the right word to use, so then there’d be nine.

  104. Mimi

    oops i forgot “uva” which is “of a”.. sooo… there are eleven

  105. Grace

    I don’t even speak english well, and my spelling sucks (I speak spanish by the way)and I felt disgusted by this. I noticed about 11 mistakes, excluding the obviously dreadfull use of capitalization and commas… But anyway Kaleb,you rock!!!!!!!!!

  106. Rachel M

    I didn’t really feel like reading that again, so I figured I’d just comment on how ridiculously clueless some people are.

    First of all, since his grammar and spelling are so dreadfully horrid, I am left to assume he does not partake in much reading, and therefore has probably never even read Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn.

    Secondly, where does he get off insulting Edward?!?!?!?!?! He may be a little, shall we say, annoying sometimes, but at least he has MANNERS.

    And lastly, you do not “suck” as he stated. Because of you, both of my brothers, and – as soon as he gets back – my neighbour have read Twilight and seen the error of their Twi-bashing ways. So, for that, I thank you.

  107. Lara

    I counted 9.

  108. Lara

    Wait…I read again – I think there are 11.

  109. Luci

    wow. this was actually funny. If people are going to be sending things like that, they need to learn to at least use correct grammar and spelling.

    I counted 9 errors……

  110. Luci

    wait, there are 11 mistakes. I didn’t notice that “uva” was supposed to be an actual word.

  111. Sarah

    I counted 11, since there were things that were supposed to be capitalized which weren’t, and a few words that I think he meant to be something else (inspire vs. aspire), so I counted that as a spelling error as well. I guess technically you would categorize it as a grammatical error, though.

  112. Stephanie

    hahahah wow…this is the cherry on the very top of an uneventful day…

    First off i counted ten although theres some debate of “your” and whether it is an incorrect usage..also i must point out…

    he spelled FAIL wrong?!?! that in itself makes him the epitome of fail…he talks about YOU failing at life but doesnt even think of someone that spends his time stalking websites and telling people how much he thinks they suck…just wow.

    DUDE I LOVE THE TWILIGHT GUY!! all those dudes are hatin just cause u were the first to come up with this idea and its really and truly great…i get so cracked up reading these posts even when im not in the laughing mood…thanks so much kaleb!

  113. Leigh

    awww…looks like somebody’s sad that he can’t get a girlfriend, so he must take it out on people who like to read Twilight.
    Spelling mistakes:
    1. your- you’re (not a spelling mistake, but it drives me crazy!)
    2. thing- think
    3. uva- of a
    4. inspire- aspire
    5. hhe- he
    6. Stephanie- Stephenie (ultimate fail!!!)
    7. areal- a real
    8. becuase- because
    9. frist- first
    10. fial- fail

  114. Jen

    I counted 13.

  115. saranicole

    11. My favorite was “If you inspire to be like [Edward]…” *snorts* I guess that’s what happens when chicken-boys try to use big words…

  116. Lithia

    I think it’s 9. He spelled Stephenie wrong! It’s absolutely appalling!!! =P

  117. Lithia

    woops! I mean 10.

  118. adie

    I counted 9 mistakes.

  119. Mandie

    I got 10! I was so excited to see another one of these farm animal themed hate mail letters, they make my day. You’re awesome Kaleb!

  120. Heather

    Just spelling mistakes? I counted 11 (technically Stephenie was spelled wrong).

  121. Attera

    I got seven…but I doubt I counted right, since most of the others got nine…so why am I posting? hmm, questions that need answers.
    Kaleb, your sight rocks. Okay, bye now

  122. Katie ~

    10 with only spelling not capitalization

  123. Katie ~

    this guy is has quite a way with words, eh?

  124. Dave

    Hey Kaleb– I count 9. Sheesh! I like the way you edit these. :) Keep up the good work! I’m probably not the frist person to thing “That Kaleb, hhe is a heck uva guy and areal aspiration to us all.”

  125. Kara

    I counted 8, but I didn’t count the fact that he said “if you ‘inspire’ to be like him…” which doesn’t make much sense.
    HOW DARE HE SPELL STEPHENIE’S NAME WRONG!?!?!?

  126. EdwardLuvsMiMore

    wow.
    just wow.
    i wish all us fangirls had his email so we could send him like 5 billion copies of twilight.

  127. Cheleen

    omg 7 spelling mistakes. and he spelled Steph’s name wrong!!!!!!!!!!! EpIc FiAl. why do people even bother smashing sites if they’re just going to look stupid in the process of doing so?
    and what’s with “if you ‘inspire’ to be like him? completely awkward word choice.

  128. Lily F

    I think there were 10, but I may have counted a few grammar mistakes.

  129. Mary

    your – you’re
    thing – think
    hhe – he
    anbyody – anybody
    stephanie – Stephenie
    areal – a real
    becuase – because
    frist – first
    fIAL – fail
    inspire – aspire (does this count as a spelling mistake?)

    There was also one other time where I couldn’t figure out what he meant, so I don’t know if it should have been your or you’re. But I’m not counting that. So my total is 10. May I please have a t-shirt?

    And fIAL. I love that.

  130. Tina

    I think there’s 10, but I’m not sure… and don’t listen to D. because you’re totally awesome! :D

  131. Mary

    I think I like it when people send you this kind of mail, Kaleb. NO offense, but it’s so funny, and I get a chance at a free t-shirt, because they never want them.

  132. :: emily ::

    Haha! Kaleb you’re hilarious to turn this guy’s failed angry letter into a contest XD
    I counted 10 mistakes :]] the last sentence is my favorite XD

  133. Maureen

    9 mistakes. Seriously, what’s wrong with this guy? Don’t listen to him at all. He’s a jerk.

  134. Cheleen

    ah. i recounted and i found three more, so 10 spelling mistakes. wow…that is really bad.

  135. brenda

    I counted 8.
    I was having a hard time reading it.
    Sure, not all guys are complete
    *moo*’s but still, there are some pretty big ones out there. :)
    Nice going Kaleb.

  136. courtney

    Ha! This guy is so stupid if he was going to insult someone he should make sure that he’s not insulting himself with all that spelling/grammar mistakes. lol
    I counted 9 spelling mistakes, I think. The whole letter was a mess though!!

  137. Ally

    He’s just jealous cause you have hundreds of fan-girls.

    Anyway I counted nine… but someone probably already said that before me.

  138. frankie

    I counted 11.
    Wow. Some guys are really pathetic.I think someone is in denial. He should man up and just admit that he likes it. If he wasn’t so insecure, he’d be able to admit what’s soooo obvious to al of us. He loves it but he’s too much of a wuss to admit it.

  139. Janna

    I counted 9! :)

  140. KatieBug

    I counted nine :)

  141. katiedid

    Hahaha. Kaleb you’re cool because you let it roll off your shoulders and this guy is probably taking 4th grade spelling as a college class. We love you..

    and hey, isn’t having thousands of girls/women love you better than anything?

  142. Pauline

    i got 7 spelling mistakes but there were incomplete sentences too.
    (i didn’t count that)
    that was very entertaining! haha
    goodness. people just don’t understand…

  143. Mandy

    I counted 9
    the other guys was waaayyyy worse

  144. Cassidy

    Does it include all the times he doesn’t capitalize the first word in a sentence. It makes me dizzy just thinking abou the mistakes…

    It depends how you count it, so im going with 11.

  145. Gill Pont

    I counted 17.

  146. Kim M.

    I found 10. And it sounds like this guy is just pissed because either his girlfriend dumped him for bashing the books or he can’t get a girlfriend because he is a jerk. Either way, I feel sorry for a guy who feels the need to send stuff like this in to make him feel superior.

  147. Sami

    i got at least 12 mistakes

  148. maria carolina

    what a (oink) hahahah i love you kaleb!!

  149. Jean L

    Gosh, that guy must be like 12 years old or something, lawl. ;D

    Also, I found 9 spelling errors! Pick me, pick me! :D :D :D

  150. Theresa

    I think there are 9 mistakes.
    I’m just wondering if he read the book because he knew about Edward.

  151. Sarah

    I counted nine O.o

  152. Aisling

    i got 8, including using the wrong word, misspelling Stephenie (how dare he?!) and forgetting 2 hit the spacebar!

    the grammar mistakes were slapping me in the face too…i think i may have dropped IQ points reading that rubbish…

    also, i think he’s an idiot, because he has obviously read the book to be able to mention EDWARD, to know the authors name, etc…

    ps. did he seriously say “grow up”? seriously? LOL

  153. JanetH

    I had a professional proofer check behind me and we say 9, but she was really wishing she could mark the grammer! LOL!
    -janet
    (a Twilight Mom)

  154. Sammy

    I got about four… But his grammar is atrocious! I bet there are more but I couldn’t concentrate on the amount of spelling errors with Grammar that bad. I’m sort of a grammar freak =D

  155. Nicole

    i counted 9. cant wait for you to read the next chapter!

  156. Emerson

    1. your
    2. thing
    3. uva
    4. inspire
    5. hhe
    6. anbyody
    7. Stephanie
    8. areal
    9. frist
    10. becuase
    11. Fial
    And also, this guy is an idiot if he dares to insult Edward. I’m gonna track him down and stone him with my hardcover copies of each book.
    <3 Emerson

  157. Annie

    omg. that was really bad to read. i found 4….that’s really sad. i tink his letter affected me too much!

  158. XY Z

    7 Spelling
    10 if including grammer

  159. anne

    I found eleven spelling errors and they are:

    1. your = you are or you’re (Of course, k-god, you might call this a grammar error, but in reality this is considered a common spelling error. It’s also apparent that this is a spelling error, because this genius used and spelled you’re correctly later in the letter as both “you’re” and “yOU aRE”).
    2. thing = think
    3. uva = of a
    4. inspire = aspire (This one is particularly funny because I am shocked that this person used the word aspire correctly, albeit incorrectly spelled).
    5. hee = he
    6. anybyody = anybody
    7. Stephanie = Stephenie (I absolutely counted this because even though he used a traditional spelling, he was talking about a specific person and he spelled her name wrong. When people write my name as Ann, it makes me crazy).
    8. areal = a real
    9. becuase = because
    10. frist = first
    11. fial = fail

    It would be delightful to correct the grammar and clean up his prose.

    anne

  160. Jordan

    i found 11!

  161. Mary

    I counted 8 because technically, “your” is a grammatical error and i’m not completly sure what context “uva” is used in.

  162. Tiffany

    Kaleb, I counted eleven, not including the plethora of grammer mistakes that made it nearly unintelligible. I feel so…konfoozled…how anyone can even bother doing this blows my mind. Besides, I really want a shirt =p lol. Love ya, KN!

  163. Desta

    It seemed to be around 9. Sometimes grammar and spelling mistakes collide, so I’m not sure what to do with those. And definite sacrilege for misspelling Stephenie.

  164. Twifanatic Amanda

    I found 11 speeling mistakes XD

  165. Alice Cullen

    O.k. that was seriously classic! I counted 9 though. I want to go up to that guy and say you have nothing better to do than swear at somebody who actually is doing something with their life? Caleb you rock you have both a fan club and A HATE CLUB! You should be so proud! I’m part of the fan club, anyways GO TEAM ALICE!

  166. Ally

    Okay. Wow. I really could care less how many spelling mistakes he made, because I was laughing too hard to read. This guy isn’t as funny as the other one, but he is just as stupid. I appreciate you Kaleb! Way to go! Its nice to here a guy’s point of view. Heaven knows how many times I’ve just heard…” EHHHH!!!!!!! ITS Edward! I love him!”

    So keep it up. I’m glad you aren’t letting these doo-doo heads get to you. Not that you will ever read this……

  167. Becky

    oh wow, that made my day (it’s also rather sad) thanks for a good laugh, Kaleb! You know we love you, don’t listen to this guy. He’s just jealous.

    I’m not even going to try finding all the mistakes in that. It makes my head hurt just reading it.

    but if he dislikes you and the book so much, how did he find your site, know the author and a main character of the books, know it’s about vampires, and most importantly: bother to write about it?
    I think he might possibly be a Twilighter in disguise :)

  168. Kassandra

    wow! what a rude chicken!!!!

    i counted 8 mistakes :)

  169. Kathryn G.

    HAHA, I can’t believe he’s calling YOU stupid when he says things like “inspire to be like him…” and “…so cool as you think.”
    I mean, who does he think he is?

    But I found 10 mistakes. That was including “inspire” instead of “aspire”. I know he technically spelt it right, but it’s just as bad to butcher the usage.

    I love you Kaleb!!!! Don’t listen to cluck heads like D. or G.J.

    Nobody likes those kids.
    And everybody loves you!!!

    with love,
    Kathryn

  170. Myriah

    I counted eight. But hey, I could be wrong. It looks like you are admired by so many amazing spellers! You know, by them sending you those (cluck-cluck) letters, they are just showing how much they truly care about the series and especially Edward :) By the way, GJ and him need to learn some serious manners. One word describes the both of them: rude.

  171. Christina

    Haha! That was hilarious. Wow. I would really like to know how and why he found this site, and apparently read it too, if he hates Twilight so completely =P
    I would be angry that this guy is insulting Edward if it wasn’t so obvious that he’s just jealous. As it is, I can’t stop laughing XD

    I counted 9, including spelling Stephenie’s name wrong (*gasp!* how dare he!) …mAJOR fIAL…never heard that one before… apparently somebody not only needs to be taught how to spell, but how to use the “shift” key as well…roflmao!

  172. Nikki

    Wow… um…. smart chicken? But not smart enough! He made 9 spelling mistakes on my count. Well, there were a few where I’m like: DOES THAT COUNT?!?!? I DON’T KNOW IF THAT COUNTS! So i might be wrong. I hope that farmer chops of that chicken’s stupid head… :D

  173. Becky

    also, isn’t “uva” Spanish for grape? Perhaps he is insulting grapes as well as your site and Twilight…

    I read it again and I got 9 spelling errors, but I may have missed some. It was hard to read while I was laughing.

  174. Awesomely Awesome

    I can’t believe he misspelled Stephenie’s name wrong!!!! Anyways, I counted 8 spelling mistakes but I’m not sure if one of them counts or not. These kinds of posts are so entertaining. :)

  175. Some Guys Will Never Learn (III) | Twilight News

    [...] the original post on Twilight Guy Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and [...]

  176. Johno

    9, i believe. not quite sure though, cause i was too busy being dumbfounded at this morons’ failure at insults. i mean, really. this guy is the epitome of epic “fial”

  177. Julie

    I got nine, including Stephenie’s name, “areal”, thing instead of think. This rude person really “fialed” at English class.

  178. Lauren

    I counted 11 :)

  179. Sarah M.

    Okay, I honestly tried to count the spelling mistakes, but I couldn’t even make sence of what he was saying. That e-mail could not have been in English. What, did get half way through a sentence and then decide to start another one?

    Anyways, best guess: 9
    your — you’re
    thing — think
    uva — ? (sunscreen, anyone?)
    inspire — aspire
    hhe — he
    Stephanie — Stephenie
    areal — a real
    frist — first
    fial — fail

    btw, that last sentence should be “You are A major failURE.” (which, of corse, is a lie)

    His english teacher must be so proud…

  180. Anna Cullen

    I counted 9 spelling mistakes.

  181. Court

    my guess is nine.

    who is that guy to say all that? he’s so not kool.
    and he will never get a girlfriend…ever! he’s a jerk. and i think that you are the coolest person ever kaleb. :]

  182. HeyJoyous

    9

    That was entertaining. Thanks, D. :p

  183. Liz

    [A sentence by sentence breakdown of errors... or it's 30 minutes left in the office till Happy Hour! I've added my comments in brackets and my changes to the sentences between "". Let the hunting begin.]

    So first all I want to say is that you suck.

    ["So, first OF all, I want to say is"... wait, that's a random "is". Ow, my brain exploded. 3 errors here.]

    Why are you wasting your time on this (cluck-cluck) book? I know why. Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing you are so cool.

    [Should be "(cluck)'s"... and your up here makes NO sense. Think not thing... another 3 errors]

    Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva better one than…

    [Liz would say: "book; and one (cluck-cluck)uva better." 1.]

    [unintelligible chicken scratches]

    and give me a (bawk)ing break. any guy like edward is a (bawk).

    ["Edward". "Any". Capital letters begin proper nouns, Yoda says. 2.]

    a total (bawk). If you inspire to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe is idiot.

    ["Idiot" should have a comma before and capitalized when used in name-calling form. Also, it's HE, not "hhe". Unless he is stammering over email, in which case I would probably stop getting so worked up. 3.]

    anbyody can read a book stupid, you are not so cool as you think …

    [Liz: "Anybody (2) can read a book, Stupid, you are not as cool as you think"... Kaleb, is this guy possibly projecting his own feelings on others? I think so, in my completely unprofessional opinion. 4.]

    [farmer's tractor rolls by]

    Is stephanie Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)?
    [Stephenie (2).]

    2 Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal guy? Grow up or …

    [Liz: Random number =1. "girlfriend, or probably"= 1. And bad syntax structure so 1. "a real"= 1]

    [cows moo in bored tones]

    so like I promised here are my directions for you if you even care…

    [God, I'm really worried about the American school system at this point. How did I get so lucky? Wow. "So"= 1. "promised, here are my directions for you"- (could be semi-colon)so 2. 3 total]

    1 take your site 2 shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (becuase that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the frist place) and 3 shut up and read a real vampire book [...] yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL!

    [Oh MAN! This is awesome. I love the epic fail (or fial) at the end. Wow. Okay. Numbers should be "1." or "1.)" so deduction for each= 3. Random typos for spelling= 3. Random parenthesis= 1. No semi-colons/commas between numbers= 2. tRYING tO tYPE lIKE tHIS= 4.]

    [farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]
    D. (no last initial given)

    Liz’s grammatical error count is at 38, 34 if you don’t count the tYPING lIKE tHIS part. And I now have 10 minutes left, plus my boss just walked out. Sweet. This was totally worth it.

  184. Alli

    I got 8 if you count “uva” and “areal”.

    *sigh* he sounds like the guys on my bus. Most of the guys in my school probably sound like that, but I wouldn’t know because as honors students like me, the guys in my classes (while they’re not ashamed to cuss) actually are intelligent to a certain degree, and can express their opinions in real words with a clear point.

    Kaleb, why do some guys have to be this stupid? Why can’t they be more like you or Edward or Jacob?

  185. Stephanie

    I got 11!!

  186. Marie

    Oh gosh, nine or ten…this person is crazy. And delightfully funny. Thanks for sharing Kaleb!

  187. Orietta

    OMC, I want to win a shirt but some of the spelling errors are borderline grammatical. I can’t tell how many there are!

    I think there are (9)nine(9).

    D, if you’re reading this, you’re depriving a village somewhere of it’s idiot. Why don’t you get off this site and go find it?

  188. TwilightObsessed*Eddiepus*

    ha ha Kaleb! I think that there are nine!! “The cherry on top of a perfect sundae.” HA ha! I love that! What a clucking jerk! lol! ooo and Orietta “Depriving a village of it’s idiot,” you deserve a shirt just for saying that! Ha! Now I can’t stop laughing!

  189. Rozebudz

    I counted 9. Don’t even get me started on the grammar!!

  190. jazz

    ah what a dumb a**.

  191. FabGab49

    Im pretty sure theres 9.

    This dude is seriously messed up, I mean everyone has a right to disagree but this is borderline insanity. And cursing like a sailor, like violence, is the path of those who can’t win a fight with their brains. The poor fellow must have ther worlds lowest IQ coupled with a bad case of clinical depression and maybe a serious ADHD and/or temper control issues as well. D if you’re reading this,

    GET HELP. ASAP.

    -Gabrielle

  192. Kadie-Wa

    I counted 13. Lots of mistakes!!

  193. FabGab49

    I forgot to say that I personally think the image for this post is an insult to chickens. My grandma’s pet chicken Niha is waaaaaaaaaaaay smarter than that, and look at all the cool things chickens did on the muppet show! Kaleb, don’t use chickens for the header for these hatemails anymore, pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaasseeeeeeee??
    -Gab

  194. Kaylee

    Idiot. It’s aspire not inspire.

    He’s almost as bad as GJ.

  195. Wren

    I saw 10, unless capitalization counts. (the word idiot is either in the wrong place or supposed to be something else, like idiotic) If that doesn’t count as spelling, I saw 9, just like most of the rest, I think.
    So, 9 or 10.

  196. Aly

    i was going to guess but then i read everyones comments. :)
    i had started out with 7. re read and got 9. and then i saw that someone got 22!! so i must be a worse speller then i thought! oh well.
    why do these’s guys hate you? I think they must be intimidated…. i probably spelled that wrong… sorry!

  197. Phyl

    I counted eleven spelling mistakes.

    You just have to love these people… they certainly have entertainment value. They’re good to laugh at.

    Hang in there, Kaleb. :D

  198. Madeline

    I caught 10!

    This kid should take a shot at using spell check.

  199. Debra

    That was (cluck)ing hysterical.

  200. Ashleigh

    1. your – you’re
    2. thing – think
    3. inspire – aspire
    4. hhe – he
    5. anbyody – anybody
    6. stephanie – Stephenie
    7. areal – a real
    8. becuase – because
    9. frist – first
    10. fIAL – fail

    Final count = 10.

    Thanks for the laughs, Kaleb! :D

  201. Ashleigh

    Oh, I missed the “uva” one because I didn’t know what he was trying to say or if it added to the chicken noise…so the actual count might be 11…

  202. Kyra

    Seruslie thees gy neids too lurn to spel!!!

  203. JessieLynn

    I caught 16 mistakes,but I might just be way to picky.lol :D

  204. JessieLynn

    nvm, I just saw 11, the rest were grammar. Sorry!

  205. Maureen

    I counted 9!
    wow, people and spelling…especially those attempting to make a point.
    sorry, point not taken due to an insane amounts of errors.
    thanks for this blog, I enjoy it a lot!

  206. MFC

    I found 9! These things REALLY crack me up! luv u Kalab!

  207. Kathryn

    Wow, I would try to count, but reading it a second time would be a little too painful I’m thinking… sigh, poor chicken.
    you almost wonder if he can read a book. real words might be lost on him

  208. Jessica A.

    I counted 8-ish. So, yeah, 8. And misspelling the Stephenie’s name… blasphemy!

  209. Aneika

    There’s ten. Including Stephenie’s name.

  210. isabelle

    I counted 10.

    i wasn’t sure about some of the “your/you’re”s so i didn’t count them.

    thing=think
    inspire=aspire
    hhe=he
    anbyody=anybody
    stephanie=stephenie(i actually had to type that 3 times to MISspell it…)
    areal=a real
    becuase=because
    fris=first
    FIAL= fail..

    that last was really… just pathetic….

    I’d be ashamed, if it was me… then again, i’d never do something so stupid as to yell at the glorious K-GOD!!

    lol. lets jump them…

  211. isabelle

    oh, and i forgot to type out the uva… soo…

    Uva= of a

  212. Kelly

    I got 5? Ugh! I hate that guy! Why would someone be so cruel?! And you are totally cool! I really wish we could have an Edward in this world! Or at least some more guys being SMART and reading it!

  213. PaceVamp77

    I found 9. I really enjoy reading these. They make me feel smart : )

    I wonder how far back his internal insecurities go… Possibly as far back as birth. I’d love to psychoanalyze him!

    Keep up the reading, Kaleb! We’re all rooting for you.

  214. Ang

    1. your -> you’re
    2. thing -> think
    3. I -> I’ll
    4. inspire -> aspire
    5. hhe -> he
    6. anbyody -> anybody
    7. stephanie -> Stephenie
    8. areal -> a real
    9. becuase -> because
    10. frist -> first
    11. fIAL -> fail.

    Speaking of fail… I think this counts as an epic fail. Kaleb, you truly are awesome for weathering through the hate-mail. Or farm-animal-mail… Although, as a vegetarian, I cannot approve of the farmer eating the chicken. Unless we classify him as “vermin.” That would be another story entirely… And there would be no reason to wait until Christmas, if that’s the case.

  215. annap

    That giy was craezy! Seriusly, y do peple have to b so hatefol? Its jest so mean somtims. i dont not not get it!

  216. Oscar

    I counted ten included the misspelled contractions like “uva”.

  217. Maria

    I counted eleven :)

  218. samantha

    this… guy… is… a… total… tool. if i go on i may accidentaly end up using many (bawks).
    i counted ten, btw, and hatemail guy deserves a super-fantastic revenge for insulting your genius. he will regret it when you become a famous author and don’t invite him to parties.

  219. Sam

    Whoa, he spelled Stephenie wrong! GASP! That’s seven spelling mistakes, one wrong word, a 2 at the end of a random sentence, and a missing space between words. What a genius! Maybe he should go back to 3rd grade and learn to spell! If he is going to send hate mail, he should probably spell check. Spelling the author’s name wrong isn’t the way to sound intelligent when bashing a twilight reader. I’d have fun talking to this guy, it probably took him hours to even thing (haha, think) of the words to write that letter. Poor, pathetic, excuse for a man.

  220. Sam

    Excuse me, i recounted and got 10 not 7. Thanks, Sam lol

  221. Kelly

    I counted nine mistakes.

  222. Denton

    I count 9.

    What a dumby:P

  223. Erin

    I counted nine, but it’s kind of a judgment call on whether Stephanie is a spelling mistake or not.

  224. Courtney

    haha, wow, that guy needs some help

    i counted 9 mistakes
    :)

  225. Amy

    so when will guays leran that this isnt the waey too go?

    honestly?

    But the amausmet form it is fantastit!

  226. Jessie

    Haha- I counted nine.

    But seriously, there’s nothing funnier than (really illiterate) twi-haters.

  227. Kimberley (LupsandTnks)

    Hey Kaleb hun.
    I found nine. It would be ten if ‘too’ was spelt wrong, but seeing the sentence was bawked a lot. I have no idea if it was meant to be ‘too’ or ‘to.’That guy has quite a language. I never understood how some men think that cussing makes them more alluring– tougher. It just makes me want to wash his mouth out with soap… and then make him swallow dirt.
    Stephenie is spelt wrong.
    It’s crazy how many people actually do type ‘thing’ instead of ‘think’. It’s like when people says a certain three letter word starting with the same letter as the word they were intending to say, which was “success”. Haha
    This guy is crazy. He probably secretly is a reader of the books. Or he’s just the same guy as before who just wanted to make it SEEM as if more than one person hates you, Kaleb. Of course we’re on to him! A hahaha!
    OMG! Did you hear about Twilight being moved back. It’s amazing.. but I would rather have it the other way around if it meant I could keep my Harry Potter in November instead of waiting until next July. It’s crazy! I’m so sad. *Tear*.
    I may sound like a crazy HP fan, but I know how Bella felt now! A piece of me has been ripped out.
    Woo. I’m glad I got my ramble out. :)
    ~Kim

  228. Yoko

    Kaleb, you make me chuckle…If only guys like that had enough brain cells to understand….anything.

  229. Maggie

    I counted nine. :)

    This post made me laugh SO HARD. This guy is hilarious. MAJOR “FIAL.”

  230. Jenni

    9 spelling mistakes

  231. Kayla

    NINE!
    I love all of your posts!
    He thinks that you can’t get a girl and yet I have seen at least 5 girls ask you to marry them…oh, the irony.

  232. Christina

    Well I counted 9 spelling errors. It still amazes me that there are people out there that are that stupid. I mean he didn’t even spell Stephenie’s name right.

  233. Mystic Heart

    What a loser Twilight hater! I’m going to guess – and it’s just an estimated guess – that he made four spelling mistakes. His grammar really sucks too!

  234. Mystic Heart

    Darn, I should have scrolled through everyone elses answers first. I guess my spelling sucks too. I’m not an editor.

  235. Emmy

    I got 9 spelling mistakes but there were a LOT of grammar issues… but that doesn’t really matter. I think it’s kind of funny that some people are so dead set against reading the Twilight books but they take the time to go to Twilight related sites and say how “stupid” they are if they are so “stupid” why take the time to even go and comment them???? it makes no sense to me :D

  236. Red

    i counted 9. Kaleb, you are awesome for just laughing at your haters.

  237. mariaferzillah (Maria)

    So first all I want to say is that you suck.

    Why are you wasting your time on this (cluck-cluck) book? I know why. Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your (#1 it’s actually ‘you’re’) up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing (#2, I think he meant ‘think’) you are so cool. Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva better one than…

    [unintelligible chicken scratches]

    and give me a (bawk)ing break. any (#3 capital is missing) guy like edward is a (bawk). a (#4 capital letter is missing) total (bawk). If you inspire (#5 I think he meant aspire) to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe (#6 repeat h letter, I think he meant ‘he’) is (#7 coma missing) idiot. anbyody (#8, he meant anybody) can read a book stupid, you are not so cool as you think …

    [farmer's tractor rolls by]

    Is stephanie (#9 and 10 names need capital and it’s written Stephenie) Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)?2 (#11, the 2 was accidental, maybe he meant a ‘?’) Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal (#12, I think he meant a-real) guy? Grow up or …

    [cows moo in bored tones]

    so (#13, lack of capitals again) like I promised here are my directions for you if you even care…1 take your site 2 shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (becuase (#14, I think he meant because) that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the frist (#15, I think he meant first) place) and 3 shut up and read a real vampire book [...] yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL! (#16 fail is not written as fial)

    [farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]
    D. (no last initial given)

    So, in summary:
    #1=You’re
    #2=Think
    #3=Any
    #4=A
    #5=Aspire
    #6=He
    #7=’…is, idiot.’ (I’m not sure Kaleb, judge it yourself)
    #8=Anybody
    #9-10=Stephenie
    #11=?
    #12=A real
    #13=So
    #14=Because
    #15=First
    #16=Fail

    So there are 15-16 mistakes, #7 is debatable, on my case I would have placed a coma there, but I don’t know you Kaleb. Thank you for the opportunity.

  238. Annalise

    i think there’s like ten mistakes.

  239. Iqra

    I think there’s 9.
    10 including the you’re, but I think that counts as grammatical.
    ;]
    Anyways, glad to see you’re ignoring the hate mail. People are just so ignorant.
    ::does thumbs up and ends up looking like a total dork::

  240. Hailee

    I counted nine, including how he wrote Stephenie’s name “Stephanie.”

  241. Sisi

    I got 10, but I was so confused through it all since I was literally cringing away from the messiness of it all.

  242. Lisa

    TWILIGHT MOVIE RELEASE DATE HAS BEEN MOVED UP!! WOOHOO!

    GET THE NEW DATE AND FULL DETAILS HERE: http://tinyurl.com/5c3goq

    Got it from http://www.TwilightersAnonymous.com !

  243. Dani

    I counted 9. Dude, you’re funny.

  244. Rosebud

    Although technically ‘your’ and ‘thing’ are spelled correctly, they are the wrong word, and so I’m going to count them for a total of 10. Thanks for not making us count the grammar mistakes. You know, some people like to spell it as stupit.

  245. lauren

    I absolutely am too lazy to count all the mistakes, but I had to say something:

    If he thinks you’re wasting YOUR time reading these books, what is he doing reading ABOUT you reading them??

    What a dick =p

  246. Monica

    oh dear. another bored teenage girl. whatever shall we do?
    i still hold to my theory that this is fake. who else would use ‘aspire’ (although spelled incorrectly) and send this, even though they know they are being laughed at for it? who would send this, in all seriousness, as a legitimate complaint? even the most dense of my guy friends would just talk about it.
    also they sent it from your other site, as you mentioned. why would they be there unless they had crawled all over your site and still had nothing to do? why not generate news themselves?
    eh, maybe i’m just over-analyzing.

  247. Kina

    I counted 18 major mistakes, including spelling, using the wrong word, and comma usage.

    There is such a thing as a comma, dude.

  248. Monica

    oh yeah, 10.

  249. Mike

    Hello Kaleb and fellow Twilighters,

    First of all, I am a Deaf male Twilighter, who enjoyed (and still do) reading Stephenie’s prestigious masterpieces!I am a graduating senior who apsires to earn a master’s in English.
    I want to comment on this guy’s primitive writing. I find it appalling that this guy had the nerve to criticize a series of literary masterpieces which utilized written English in the proper form! Stephenie has mastered the art of written English, therefore, to properly criticize works of literature, one must know the language it is written in.
    I hope this guy refrains from criticizing works of literature until he masters the written form of English. I find it shameful that he cannot spell a basic word that a common second grader can.
    If D’s reading this, I strongly recomend you get a Master’s in English/Literature before you criticize a piece of literature.
    Now to the point, I have counted nine spelling errors.

  250. Penny

    10 mistakes. This was freaking hysterical.

  251. Kelly

    Nine.
    Depending on how you look at it.

  252. Allie

    Nine mistakes.

    :9

    -crosses fingers.-

    Doesn’t help that I suck at spelling. u_______u.

  253. Sara

    Sheesh, I’d hate to see one of this guy’s English papers – even with MS Word, it’d probably have red marks from a teacher’s pen all over it. Anyway, I counted nine, not counting “uva” since it’s used by some published authors for whatever reason.

  254. Piper

    9 I think ^_^

  255. Nimoko

    I do believe I caught 9 errors…

  256. Dylan

    6 maybe 7!

    Incredibly rude! But hey as long as someone gets a free shirt out of it I’m cool! :P Hope this didn’t upset you Kaleb! =/ He’s a jerk!

  257. Stephanie

    *gasp*
    That was pretty mean.
    Anyway I think there are 8 spelling mistakes.

    Thanks for giving out the free shirt!

  258. Michelle

    OK, so I counted 8 but one is pretty much a grammar error (you’re).
    Lol and I don’t know if you’re counting “Stephanie” as being wrong too.

  259. Michelle

    he’s not just a major fial…he’s an epic fial. XD

  260. Red

    I must say i just LOVE when Farmer Kaleb lets these animals loose!

    obvious mistakes:
    your (you’re)
    hhe (he)
    anbyody (anybody)
    stephanie (Stephenie…sacrilege)
    areal (a real)
    becuase (because)
    frist (first)
    fIAL (fail…oh yes he did)

    not correct but correctly spelled:
    thing (think)
    uva (well…slang yes, but it depends on where you’re from :D )
    inspire (aspire)
    2 (?)
    what (why is that there?)

    so that makes 8 for sure…but 13 if you count the other mistakes :D

  261. Darcus

    As much as I would love a t-shirt, I’m not even going to bother attempting your challenge. So many comments…why should I? :P

    Although, this is a very good thing for me because spelling and grammer are the first things I notice while reading a piece of writing.

    People that send hate mail crack me up. You’d think that if they’re going to try and make you look stupid, they’d atleast spend the time making sure they themselves don’t look absolutely idiotic in the process. Am I right?

    I mean, if I was going to send a piece of hate mail, I’d want myself to look more intelligent than the person I’m sending it to. Kind of defeats the whole purpose.

  262. Liv

    You know, there’s something about writing each day knowing it’s just gonna rub someone out there the wrong way. Don’t you just love it? I do. Keep it up, you’re too cute!

  263. Laura

    I caught 10 mistakes! That is, if you count “your” and forgetting the space bar…

    How can anyone spell Stephenie’s name wrong?!

  264. Christina S.

    Lets see… not only spelling but i believe one or two miss used words!

    1. and your up here

    Should be…

    and your’e up there

    2.and thing you are so cool.

    should be

    and think you are so cool

    3. Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva better one than…

    any one know what UVA is? Cause i have no idea…

    4.If you inspire to

    that is supposed to be ESPIRE…

    5. it’s He not hhe

    6. anbyody can read a book stupid, you are not so cool as you think …

    Should be:

    Anybody can read a book stupid, you are not AS cool as you think…

    7. STEPHENIE MEYER not Stephanie Meyer…

    8. Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal guy? Grow up or …

    Drop the what and the probably and it comes out as a readable sentence.

    9. Fial… what is that… i believe the word he was looking for was Fail…

    And to be honest, he fails at life!

    Kaleb you are awesome!

  265. Christina S.

    I made a mistake… it wasn’t espire it was aspire… sorry about that!

  266. Christina S.

    There are 10!

    Areal should be two words… A real…

    Sorry I just reread the piece… and that jumped out at me.

  267. Brynne

    I counted 8 spelling mistakes, not including using the wrong word, then it’s 9.

  268. Rachel Berlage

    Okay, here we go. Hang on to your hats ladies and gents.

    1. thing=think
    3. uva= of a
    2. inspire=aspire
    3. hhe=he
    4. anbyody=anybody
    5. stephanie=Stephenie
    6. areal=a real (might be grammar… but I still count that as spelling…)
    7. becuase=because
    8. frist=first
    9. fIAL=fail

    To which I would reply: No, you sir are a fail!

  269. mckenzie

    i got 8 counting spelling only

  270. Stephanie

    I counted 7 spelling mistakes. Funny how all these guys who “hate” you spend all this time sending you “hate” mail.

  271. Elias

    That someone took the time to write this and still doesn’t feel like a friggin moron, they must be really busy! I’d be willing to bet he’s read the books because he knows what Edward is like apparently, so he’s probably just mad that Bella didn’t end up with Jacob and he’s taking his pain out on every Stephanie Meyer related website. Wow. He really hurt my feelings. *sarcasm*

  272. Elias

    7 mistakes BTW. Not counting Stephenie and areal. Man this guy’s a friggin idiot.

  273. Aria

    $10 says an hour before this happened he got in an argument with his girl friend who said something along the lines of “Why can’t you be cool like Kaleb!” *storms off*

  274. patrice

    I got nine, not counting Stephenie’s name. I laughed so hard when he spelt fail wrong at the end… I was like, what IS that word… This guy should try picking up a book once in a while, it might improve his vocabulary.

  275. Brendan

    10 spelling mistakes, one that it seems a lot of the 9-counters are not counting the incorrect spelling of “aspire” as “inspire.”

  276. Jules

    Ah, I love posts like these. I love when you can watch someone yell at you and laugh, because if there’s no one out there with different opinions than you, the world would be very boring. I counted 8 spelling mistakes, but some of the clucks were probably mistakes too.
    I think I’ll share with you my favorite part of this… “If you inspire to be like him…” It’s ASPIRE, not INSPIRE! But I AM impressed that he even got that close. I commend D. on that.

  277. Maria C.

    I caught 10 (if you include Stephenie’s name being spelled wrong and ‘inspire’ instead of aspire).

  278. Amanda123

    Seven.

  279. Laura

    I’m not going to even read that again to count the mistakes!!!!! I’m just shocked that he spelled Steph’s name wrong!!!! I like gasped when he did, lol.

  280. Sarah (Not already here)

    What pleasent sentiment. I can envision him wearing a shirt with the phrase “Little Miss Sunshine” beadazzled on the front in hot pink.

    Mistakes:
    1. your (Should be “you’re”)
    2. thing (Should be “think”)
    3. uva (Slang)
    4. and (Should be “And”)
    5. any (Should be “Any”)
    6. edward (Should be “Edward”)
    7. a (Should be “A”)
    8. a total (bawk). (It’s a fragment.)
    9. inspire (Should be “aspire”)
    10., 11, 12, maybe more. …to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe is idiot. (Should be along the lines of, to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk) head and he is an idiot.) (That lowered my IQ by 15 points, thank you.)
    13. anybody (Should be, “Anybody”
    14. book stupid (Should be, “book, stupid” or “stupid book”. Not sure which he meant…)
    15. so cool as you think (Should be “as cool as you think”)
    16. stephanie Meyer (Should be “Stephanie Meyer”)
    17. ?2 Or did (Should be “? Or did”)
    18. be areal guy? (Should be “be a real guy”)
    19. so (Should be “So”)
    20. …1 (should have a space in between … and 1 “… 1″
    21. 1 (should be “1.”)
    22. take your (Should be “Take your”)
    23. & 24. 2 shove (Should be “2. Shove”)
    25. (becuase (Should be “(because”)
    26. frist (should be “first”)
    27. & 28. 3 shut up (Should be “3. Shut up”
    29.-35. yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL! (Should be “YOU”(29), then “You”(30), then “are” (31), then “are a” (32), then “major” (33), then “fail” (34 & 35), then “failure” instead of “fail”. Oops, that was 36, not 35.

    So, all in all, he is an embarrassment to this website. No, not an embarrassment, because he doesn’t matter to it except for purely entertainment purposes only.
    Really, some people need to learn that hate mail does not accomplish anything. Especially if there are *COUGH COUGH* 36 gramatical errors in it. It just makes people laugh at the sender.
    Whoever sent this needs to grow up, and learn that just because you CAN use profanity, it doesn’t mean you should. It makes you sound like a jealous twelve-year-old when you do.

    Clever idea with the farm animals, Kaleb… Forgot to comment on it before :) .

  281. Jessica

    uhh.
    8
    not including the your = you’re because i guess that’s considered grammar.
    what an interesting letter tho:P

  282. Hallie!!

    hahahahahhahaha so i went back and read the other two “Some Guys Will Never Learn”… I’ve been laughing for like ten minutes. These people are so STUPID…. spelling mistakes and their hatred for all things Twilight. If they had any sort of sense they would know that bashing Twilight will:

    a) Get them hunted down and run over by screaming angry fans.
    b) give them full assurance that no girl will ever ever ever even LOOK at him again.

    All the same, he shouldn’t even have an inward hate of Twilight that he doesn’t show, because how can you HATE it? Come on!!!

    Anyways, Kaleb, I love you, and think that this site is an absolute stroke of genius. If you ever listened to these guys and abandoned it I would surely crawl in a corner and cry. :]

    <3 Hallie

  283. Katie Dunn

    i got 7, but i didn’t know if the e in Edward not being cap counted…

    katie, out

  284. Shausto

    …I feel bad for people who are too scared to even put their last initial in a message.

    anyway, for just spelling mistakes I counted 8.

  285. Twilightgurl

    Ok, here I go…

    Waht is fraeking wrong weth theis guy? Hhe’s all laike, “I hate Twileyed”. Some poeple just don’t understend. Obvously, hhe’s not a fellowe Twileyeder. I raelly hate poeple lake that! Buttte anywayd, Twileyed ruls no mater what some poeple thiank. And appparenly hhe neads to go back to first gread and learn how to speall. Thet was just raelly sad. I meaen how can hhe moast likey be an adullt and speal like THAT?!?! And Edwerd Culan is NOT cape! Theis peron is probbly raelly jelous, becuse hhe’ll never be abell to be alle hott and everythingg that Edwerd Culen is! Hhe souds alot like GJ. Hhhmmmm…veary interasting.

    Ok, I’m done. I think that was… 43!

  286. Makayla

    I wish I could see the looks on these guys’ faces when they discover you’ve posted their e-mail messages for the world to see.

    I imagine there’s quite an excess of “clucking” :D

  287. rachel

    ome, kaleb, I LOVE you. you are so cool for not letting jerks like this ruin a great book. I just can’t believe how little a life this person has to actually write you like a 10 pg letter about reading Twilight!
    haha, you’re always good for a laugh, thanks

  288. April

    Wow… I think I got eight spelling errors… Can I just say to this guy and GJ that most of the people that comment on this website are FEMALE and that we all love you :) Real guys read twilight. (Well, the ones that we girls are actually gonna like)
    Hearts!!!
    April

  289. Savanna

    i think i got 11, not counting the fact that he put random numbers in and should have said ‘aspire’ instead of inspire. i was only counting spelling, not his obvious lack of grammar.

  290. claudia

    Man some people need a life and some grammar lessons too, well I got 11 errors.

  291. Stephanie

    hehe i counted 9 not including some of the grammar errors…. oh well. can’t all be geniuses i guess. (it’s not that hard to turn on spell check…)

  292. helen

    7

  293. Amanda

    Hey Kaleb!
    I counted 9 errors… I hope that’s right….

  294. Caitlyn

    lol. i was just thinking the other day that there haven’t been any more of those hater letters and lookie here. :) i counted nine spelling mistakes.

  295. April K.

    9 for me! Just spelling errors.

    This is really sad. Your farm is really quite growing.

    I just want to thank you for going about this with maturity. These guys (G.J. and D.) are such jerks but all you do is laugh, post it on your site, and that makes us laugh too!

  296. Meghan

    omg I had to stop reading, I couldnt even understand what he was trying to say he wrote and spelled so poorly…poor guy maybe if he spent more time reading, not just Iwilight but anything he could write better and get his point across without lowering the IQs of others…and the major “fial” here is not our dear Kaleb as this guy so rudely implies, but in fact the writer of this note who didnt even have the intelligence to push the spell check button.

  297. Shibeal

    I counted 10 spelling mistakes!

  298. Christina

    i counted six real spelling errors. there were a lot of other grammar mistakes, but i didn’t count those…

  299. Jessamyn

    I counted nine…

  300. Magda

    1) your up here (you’re up here) (Ka-ching!)
    2) thing (think) (Ka-ching!)
    3) uva (of a) (Ka-ching!)
    4) inspire (aspire) (ka-ching!)
    5) anbyody (anybody) (ka-ching!)
    6) hhe (he) (Ka-ching!)
    7)stephanie (Stephenie) (Ka-ching)
    8) becuause (because) (Ka-Ching!)
    9) areal (a real)(Ka-ching!
    10) frist (first) (Ka-ching!)
    11) fIAL (fail) (Ka-ching!)

    Wow…
    Still, he makes GJ look like a college professor.

    ♥M♥

  301. Katie Beth

    I got 10, not counting “inspire”. I’d call that the wrong word, not necessarily a spelling mistake.

    At least he got YOUR name right. :-P

  302. Michelle

    I caught 11 XP

  303. Alyson

    10?

    Not sure. Confusion over vocabulary versus grammar versus spelling.

  304. Kat

    I found 11! personally I liked GJ better, he put more effort into his spelling errors ;)

  305. Erica Villarreal

    I counted 10

  306. Esmel

    I found 8, unless you count the time he used inspire instead of aspire… Then it’s 9.

  307. Sarah

    ha
    dont worry
    your way cooler then the loser who posted this. keep it up i love it!!!

  308. amber

    i counted 9!!!!!

  309. Emily

    Haha! That was pretty interesting ;D I caught 9 mistakes. Spelling that is…

  310. Janelle

    Reading that was painful…because of all the errors. And if he’s gonna diss guys like Edward, he’s going to get NOWHERE with the ladies.

  311. Jessica

    I think both those guys are kind of funny. I mean they call you a loser and other mean cluckings and such to be rude but they don’t realize they’re wrong. They say your wasting your time but OBVIOUSLY you’re not because look at how many people comment on just one posting. Over 300 so far and it’s only been A DAY! These guys are the real losers! Yeah that’s pretty much all I have to say.

  312. Jessica

    The whole making fun of Edward ticked me off! I’m about to round up all my vampire friends to come and beat him up…but that would just be stooping to their level.

  313. misstweets

    eleven =]

  314. Meghan

    Wow. 8 yr olds really shouldn’t be cussing that much.

    Count his spelling and grammar errors? Yikes-that would require reading his garbled nonsense again. Sorry, but that would be far too painful for me. Honestly though, do guys REALLY believe that they’re gonna get girls by being an insensitive idiot?

  315. Phoebe

    I particularly enjoyed that ice cream sundae comparison. =D Let’s see… I counted eleven mistakes, but it’s difficult to judge. Since you specifically mentioned to only count spelling mistakes, would your vs you’re count as a grammar problem? And “thing” and “inspire” are technically spelled correctly, but the context is completely wrong. Oh well. I hope I got it right!

  316. Ashley

    This was my first time visiting your site, and I loved it! I read every single post from the beginning and I thoroughly enjoyed it!

    I counted 11 spelling mistakes.

    1) your = you’re
    2) thing = think
    3) (cluck-cluck)uva = (cluck-cluck) of a
    4) inspire = aspire
    5) hhe = he
    6) anbyody = anybody
    7) stephanie = Stephenie
    8) areal = a real
    9) becuase = because
    10) frist = first
    11) fial = fail

  317. starlight starbright

    lol that is so frigging hilerious! What a dork of the hi-est order. All the cluking noises were a nice tuch, and the icecream compparisons just maad my day :)
    Sorrry about the speling errors but i think i coulted 10 mistakes.
    The fandom loves you Kaleb :)

  318. Jayne

    So i have, no idea how meany spelling mistakes were in that, but i have a question.

    What are you going to do if/when you run out of farm animals?!?!?!?

  319. mehek

    i got 9

  320. mommavamp

    Oh Kaleb, this is very entertaining! I have never posted before, but I just have to let you know I find you to be hilarious and witty. Unlike the young person who wrote this.

    Spelling only I saw 6 errors, but I could have missed a few. My eyes are crossing!!!

  321. vivs

    man! this guy is so envious! and u can so tell too! i think ill like to see something get shoved up HIM….this guy definitely has no life at ALL whats so ever!
    phew! now that i got that outta my system i can tell u kaleb how many mistaks i found. at first i was confused and had to recount..but now i know there are 10 mistakes! and like some other ppl ahve said..its so hard not to just count all the grammer and punctual mistakes too…which i think u noticed when i sent u that email with all the mistakes i could find from the last guy who sent a hate mail…..whatver…u rock kaleb and dont eva listen tot hose haters! there are plenty of ppl who are big fans! (including me! :D )

  322. Katy

    I say nine spelling mistakes only.
    His grammar is horrible, but I guess that’s not counted as spelling. o_O

  323. Tiera

    dat dood is a epik fial.

    (i sp’d on purpose)

  324. Cadet

    Wow. 318 comments. Not bad. :D

    My answer is: 8 spelling errors. I did not count the “?2″ as a spelling error.

    Congratulations, Kaleb. Unwritten perk of being author- hilarious hate mail.

  325. Lauren

    First of all, that was HILARIOUS. It made my nine-o’-clock evening [there's one minute left!]
    I counted about ten mistakes. ^_^

    <3L

  326. Ana

    I caught 11, but i’m still not sure!! He’s an ass! hahaha!

  327. Rrroach

    WOW he had some nerve!

    lol he reminds me of…

    um…I’m probably wrong but I got 8 and the sensation of being dumber.

  328. Karen

    Simply 8 :) .

  329. zumi

    You make this so hard because misspelling is grammer ( I think). But I got 12 when capitalization and grammer isn’t involved.

  330. Kylee

    i counted 8

  331. Kiersten

    First of all I would just like to say that anybody who would say that kind of stuff about anyone, needs some help. Like seriously why would anyone say stuff like that is just so rude and it truely disgusts me.
    Second, oh my goodness this boy needs some serious help with his writing skills. I mean i have bad spelling and grammar but holy, not that bad.
    I counted 10 spelling errors(including the uva?? not sure what it means so, yeah).

  332. Dania Cullen

    i counted 7. this guy is soo pathetic its hilarious. Dont listen to him. it would be alot of fun if i could go throw the entire Twilight series at him, so could you send his email address to me? it would make my day. And Kaleb, hes just jealous that he cant measure up to you. so dont listen to that idiot has issues with spelling 3rd grade words. cant wait till ur book!

  333. Elizabeth

    8 by my count (7 if “-uva” isn’t included). At least he’s entertaining, though he doesn’t hold a candle to you~

  334. Andrea

    This is freakin’ funny! Why does he make such a big deal of this?! No normal person would stop to cuss out a website on a book three times… haha!

    TO KALEB:
    NEXT TIME HE WRITES… CAN YOU MAKE IT A SHEEP???

  335. :Daniela

    1. your (instead of you’re)
    2. thing (think)
    3. i (i’ll)
    4. ____uva (of a)
    5. inspire (aspire)
    6. hhe (he)
    7. anbyody (anybody)
    8. stephanie (stephenie)
    9. areal (a real)
    10. becuase (because)
    11. frist (first)
    12. fial (fail[ure])

    not including grammar, capitalization, and the ?2. hahaha.

  336. marcela

    um…wow… 9 I think

  337. marcela

    um…wow… 9 I think
    ha I DONT WANT TO REREAD

  338. Nicole Jet

    I’m going with nine.

  339. Katie M.

    nine.
    and i wish idiots would stop doing this. you don’t deserve this crap.

    love from nyc,
    katie

  340. Kylee

    ahhh! i just recounted, and now i have 9.

  341. Azrael

    Ah…JG has gained a sidekick.

    Nine spelling mistakes, I believe.

  342. Catherine

    I just found this site, and although I haven’t had much of a look around yet I think it’s wonderful. I’m very against gender stereotyping in anything, especially books – nobody should EVER be ashamed of reading a book ‘intended for’ the other gender, and anyone who argues otherwise deserves all the criticism anyone can muster, plus a blanket ban on all books and internet for the rest of their miserable existence.

  343. Christy

    9 mistakes I believe and wow this just made my day. xD

  344. Ruth Anne

    Without reading other posts, I counted 16 (as I consider mistakes in capitalization to be spelling mistakes) – 11 without counting capitalization.

    line 1 – dear and kaleb – no caps
    line 4 – your should be you’re, I think, although original meaning is practically unintelligible here.
    line 5 – thing should be think
    line 6 – uva, while commonly spelled that way, is incorrect
    line 9 – any, edward & a – no caps
    line 10 – inspire should be aspire
    line 11 – hhe and anbyody should be he and Anybody (not counting that as a capitalization mistake, because he also mangled the spelling).
    line 14 – stephanie should be Stephenie, again spelling and caps
    line 16 – areal should be a real (although I must admit to being impressed at the correct usage of you’re and too. Somewhere his 4th grade teacher is smiling).
    line 20 – becuase should be because
    line 21 – frist should be first
    line 22 – your aforementioned fial for fail (which I don’t understand)
    All this is not counting the capitalization zoo at the end of his message, which was caps lock run amuck. If you do count them, add 3 for a total of 19.

    I hope this is right – I’m going to go see what your other obviously well-read and gifted readers have posted – because I start school tomorrow, teaching 7th grade English. ;-)

  345. Nicole

    I counted 10…which, incidentally, must be his age…

  346. Renesme

    9, including the misspelling of Stephenie’s actual name and excluding grammatical errors.

  347. Laura**

    Uhm. Was that guys name Damian?
    lol.If it was then I know him.
    I think. It just sounds like the rant he sent me the one time…

  348. Megan

    Haha! I wasn’t even counting! I was cracking up laughing, because I thought it was fake! I thought Kaleb was just making fun of a hater or something! Then when I found out someone actually sent it to him, I burst out laughing! Why does anyone waste thier time with hate mail? Especially when they have no idea what thier talking about? And then, they make all these spelling mistakes and use heaps of swear words! That’s utterly unatractive. I don’t get people. Btw-that whole post made whoever sent that look really retarded and stuck-up. He must think a lot of himself. Well, at least it didn’t bother Kaleb. If I had gotten that I would have cracked up laughing. Even more than I did when I read it just now.

  349. Megan

    And btw-I didn’t understand anything he was saying, either. I just caught that he was using a lot of swear words. And that he can’t spell worth a crud. Goodness! Someone send this poor boy an english book!

  350. Megan

    Oh! And one more thing, he shouldn’t bash either Edward or Kaleb! They don’t cuss like that, they don’t send people hate mail, they know how to spell, and I’m sure they haven’t been held back in 1st grade, like this guy was. I could have written a news article in 1st grade, better than this guy can write a hate letter.

  351. Cassie R.

    I counted nine.

    1) your: you’re
    2) stephanie: Stephenie
    3) thing: think
    4) uva: ?
    5) hhe: he
    6) areal: a real
    7) becuase: because
    8) frist: first
    9) fial: fail

  352. Chelsea

    nine if you don’t get to techinical

  353. Chelsea

    nine if you don’t get to techinal and count all the grammer and other errors

  354. Julia

    I adore this guy. I mean, instead of just ignoring your site, and its content, he tries to slam you… Like his opinion means anything :) he’s my newest hero.

  355. Owen

    11 Mistakes. tut tut

  356. Toya

    well. i counted eleven.
    uva is three words DOI

  357. Rosemary

    Wow! What a treat. I confess that I enjoy these deliciously bad e-mails from GJ and D more than anything else on your website (and I like reading your chapter posts and TwilightGuys Reports, so that’s saying something). I don’t know how they manage to mangle the English language so badly; it must be a gift.
    I counted six misspelled words; the rest are a delightful variety of grammatical errors: standard usage violations, capitalization errors, punctuation mistakes, and malapropisms.

  358. Cannibal Amy

    These are the spelling mistakes I found:

    hhe – he
    anbyody – anybody
    areal – a real
    frist – first
    fial – fail
    becuase – because

    … so that would be six. I didn’t count “thing” or “stephanie” because technically they’re spelled correctly. But wow, somebody would take time out of their day to send crap like this? They must have no life at all!

  359. Toya

    WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!
    I COUNT TWELVE!!!! i change my mind!!! thing is think hahaha

  360. Jessie

    7!

    Please pick me. o.o

  361. Icy Topaz

    I think that gave me a brain hemorrhage.

    10 mistakes, plus the misspelling of Stephenie’s name.

    Stupid people are so amusing.

  362. L.

    well.
    i may be wrong, but i counted nine errors, like most people did.

    people really need to get a life.

    D. (no last initial given),
    YOU ARE A MAJOR ‘FIALURE’.
    [;

  363. Sam

    I got 9
    haha that letter cracked my up… i don’t understand people who send hate mail.

  364. Lindsay

    1. thing (should be think)
    2. hhe
    3. anbyody
    4. areal
    5. fial
    6. becuase
    7. frist
    8. uva
    9. Stephenie
    10. your (should be you’re. I’m not sure if thats a grammar mistake but oh well.)

    I find these pretty entertaining :) but I’m sorry about the hate.

  365. Dani Stewart

    i got 9…

    1. Edward (edward)
    2. he (hhe)
    3. anybody (anbyody)
    4. i dont know (uva
    5. Stephenie Meyer (stephanie Meyer)
    6. a real (areal)
    7. first (frist)
    8. because (becuase)
    9, fail (fial)

    lol. he’s such a loser!

  366. filipamd

    I got ten ;)

    1. your (you’re)
    2. uva (of a)
    3. inspire (aspire)
    4. hhe (he)
    5. anbyody (anybody)
    6. stephanie (Stephenie)
    7. areal (a real)
    8. becuase (because)
    9. frist (first)
    10. fial (fail)

    You know what’s funny about this? In my language, ‘uva’ actally means ‘grape’ XD
    So the guy knows a PORTUGUESE WORD!!!!!!!! *applauds* XD

    I’m not entirely sure that makes me proud, but oh well. XD

  367. andrea

    huh i hate guys like him really … oh well guess he doesn’t have a life…umm well i didn’t count the mistakes jeje…but still i just wanted to comment :D

    love
    -andrea

  368. amanda

    i got 9 spelling mistakes. i count using your instead of you’re, a grammar AND spelling mistake.

  369. amanda

    i got 9 spelling mistakes. i count using your instead of you’re, a grammar AND spelling mistake. however, that could just be my opinion.

  370. Misty

    I totally disagree with the “hater” in question. I love the fact that you’re reading the books and even more so that you’ve written about your experiences with the book. I have a few male students who are reading, or have read the books, and I’ve told them about your site. Most are trying to check it out.

    So for spelling mistakes- I put his post on my Microsoft word and came up with (if you actually count the words that were marked in red including the ones where he didn’t capitalize then you would have= 26 (Because Bawk is not a word, Stephenie*plus he spelt her name wrong* & Edward must be capitalized, and the last sentence was just plain weird.)

    If you don’t count the capitalization mistakes then you would have…22- because the Microsoft dictionary says that BAWK is not a real word in that instance.

    But if you didn’t count the Bawks then you would have-= 11 cause ing is not a word by itself even if it’s added with bawk.

  371. nina

    Geez, what’s with all the haters?
    They’re just jealous that Kaleb can actually read, probably ;]

    Don’t worry, Kaleb, nobody else other than GJ and…chicken-boy thinks you’re not a real guy :-P

  372. Jason

    Spelling and grammar:

    1.”uva”?

    2.”edward”? Edward is a name, a noun, always capitalize first letter.

    3.”hhe”? Did you, stutter?

    4.”anbyody”?
    Anybody. Spell it correctly

    5.”you are not so cool as you think”? Do you mean, “You are not as cool as you think”?

    6.”stephanie Meyer”? You spelt her name wrong, you really have to learn your nouns. You have to capitalize the first letter of names.

    7.”areal”? Do you mean, ” a real”?

    8. “frist”? What is that, a fast wrist?

    9.”becuase”? tsk tsk tsk.

    10.”yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL”? Irregular capitalization again, and this time its not even a noun! there’s no need to capitalize it at all!. You could of just spelt it properly in lowercase and added a exclamation mark at the end. Plus, you spelt fail wrong.

    Overall, your a failure. If you really thought this was a dumb book, how did you come across this website anyways? Did you ” accidentally” type in ” twilightguy”, amazingly without any typos, and arrive at this website? And fix up your grammar, spelling issues.
    Even without the grammar problems you have, 9 spelling mistakes.

    I hope someone helps you with your spelling and grammar problems. Maybe you should read the twilight saga series. It uses a lot of the words you spelt wrong, you can learn how to ACTUALLY spell them. Plus, you can learn some BIG words, which Stephenie uses, they might be TOO big for you.

    Shame on you.

  373. Kristin Cullen

    umm i think 9 mistakes.

    haha he’s missing out on an awesome twilighteez t-shirt

  374. Lorin

    Thats the funniest thing I have read today lol. To think that he actually had the time to waste by going to ur websites and posting something like this, although he obviously did not even try to read though this, is so funny I couldnt stop laughing. lmao He must have gotten in a huge fight with his girlfriend or something about the book and had to take it out on him. This is priceless and it pretty much shows that this guy probably has not picked up a book since grade school because his grammer is just absolutely atrocious. lol But i think it is awesome that a guy is reading the book and I think it will make for great “research” lol. Good Luck

  375. Spencer

    I counted 7…what an idiot this guy is.

    P.S.-PLEASE PICK ME :)

  376. Meli

    I can’t even read it again to count the number of mistakes. My head is aching and I feel a good 10 brain cells less than a few minutes ago. I could try it to win a T for my daughter….but I think I’ll just spend the money. I’m glad to see you would rather “laugh” at the hate mail than respond; however, by posting this piece of dribble you are sort of responding. hehe

  377. Joyce

    I’m pretty sure I counted ten :)

  378. Dave

    Well, that gave me a bit of a headache having to count them.

    I’m pretty sure ten as well … hope it works … my gf wants a tshirt :)

  379. Lucy

    I tihnk there are nine speeling mistakse. Peeple like this are just so annoyning. He really was waasting his time. These peeple are just ignorint. He just doesn’t know how many peeple he’d have at his house if they found out about this. *raises eyebrows*

  380. Lucy

    Oops, that’s nine spelling mistakes in my previous post. How coincidental. Too many typos, too early in the morning. Please don’t count this as a second entry. I just wanted to point out that I should’ve fixed my spelling.

  381. Rizki

    Nine mistakes

    Don’t be like that… i’ve read all jurassic park, bourne (by ludlum only), half covet-number one, hp, and i still read twilight saga.. so whats wrong?

  382. Rachel

    I found 9 mistakes.

  383. Jennifer

    10. If you count using your instead of you’re.

    I just found your site and it really cracks me up!!
    Thanks!

  384. Lizzie

    I counted 7, but there are more if you count the incorrect use of words, such as “inspire” it should be “aspire”.
    Idiots like that need to go get a life, if they hate the book and Kaleb so much then why are they browsing the site and enraging the fans, or making them want to do something you know they wouldn’t like (lol like putting them in a dress and make up, while reading a very girly book to them and take pictures of them… that some how get mailed to their friends…)Go watch nascar or something, leave Twilight and Kaleb alone!

  385. Lizzie

    Oh yah and HE. SPELLED. STEPHENIE. WORNG!!!!!! (balking) (balker)(bleeping) JERK!

  386. priyanka

    i caught seven spelling mistakes, and kaleb , once again,don’t listen to this guy, he should reallu shove his insults up his own cluck!

  387. Mikayla

    I got 7.

  388. divyamp

    10….haha wow “inspire”?? is that a spelling or grammar mistake? sheez…
    Then it would be 10 counting the fact that the word preceding “uva” plus “uva” is not in the average english dictionary…

  389. Ember

    I got nine mistakes, including the areal guy, StephAnie, and inspire. Jeez, these are funny! *images bored cows mooing*

  390. L.

    lol, ‘uva’ means ‘grape’ in spanish.
    ;D.

    yes, Kaleb you ‘thing’ you’re so cool, cause he could read a better book, even a grape one!

    wooh.

  391. Isabelle

    11

  392. Rosalie

    I counted nine not including the capitalization errors!! If you include those then there are twenty I think! I like t-shirts!

  393. Rosalie

    I love how a bunch of people are counting his mistakes and making their own on the comments! LOL I find it funny!

  394. Elise

    how can you spell fail wrong!?!??! And if he hate’s it SO much why is he even on your website!?!???!?!

  395. Shannon

    I counted 9. All the mistakes in this burn my eyes badly… lol!

  396. s.cullen

    7. Wow. What a waste of time. That guy needs to get a productive hobby.

  397. Julie

    I counted 10…lol, but dude like these people…they anger me extremely.I hope to Jesus i never meet someone like this, because i will have to shove my fist into their face. Yea i will do it. Im not a talk, and not do it person, i will do what i say ima do. yea im from the south…lol.

  398. Rachel

    well…my count depends on what you’re counting as spelling and what as grammar.

    I got 7 words that were spelled wrong – but 3 words were either the wrong word (your, inspire) or needed a space (areal)

    But I think these guys are hilarious. I bet either they’re in league with each other or just the same guy using a different initial.

  399. Meghan

    Haha, I always like reading these. These people are so stupid, it makes my day. ^_^

    I counted 11 mistakes.

  400. Amanda

    what a (chicken noise) lol. kaleb, don’t listen to this jerk. he doesn’t know anything and he’s messing with the wrong fandom! anyway, I counted ten including mispelling SM’s name, if that counts.

  401. Justice

    Nine mistakes, I believe, including his misspelling of Stephenie’s name (which results in an epic fIALure)

  402. Justice

    And now my eyes are bleeding.

  403. Lindsey

    Eh.. I’m to lazy to count the mistakes, haha. But everyone is saying nine, so let’s go with that. ;o

    lol, don’t you love hate mail? Especially when it’s from people with a very limited vocabulary?

  404. Annah

    Someone should really tell D and GJ about spell check. I remember back in the day when I had to proof read everything.

    Since I can’t return the letter marked up with red ink, here is my corrected list for D:

    1) your – you’re
    2) thing – think
    3) insipre – aspire (I had a hard time with this one…did he spell it wrong, or simply use the wrong word?)
    4) hhe – he
    5) anbyody – hahahaha…that takes talent…
    6) stephanie – stephenie (as an Annah who often gets junk mail for Anna, I can relate)
    7) areal – a real
    8) frist – first
    9) fial – fail

  405. Kelrose

    I got 7…
    Though, its hard not to correct the grammar or spelling. I think the you would include “uva” in the “don’t correct the language” category.
    Oh well.
    Some people…

  406. Fareena

    I counted 8 spelling errors including Stephenie’s name. I don’t think “uva” is a spelling mistake because I think it’s meant to be part of a swear word.

    WOW, I really can’t believe this guy! He’s just proven that you are so popular, that he had to check it out himself! Now, he’s jealous! Even worse, he knows who Edward is! That says a lot! I bet he’s some jealous boyfriend. Seriously though, I wonder if he was drunk when he wrote to you, because just this portion doesn’t make sense. Like, if he wants you to take him somewhat seriously, write a proper email and use spell check. that’s what it’s there for. Now, after making an even bigger fool of himself, he just made you even more famous, just by sending this silly email. Think about it, if he sent a formal, well-written email, you’d have nothing to poke fun at (maybe!)… wow, unbelievable.

  407. Caitlin

    It’s 7 spelling mistakes
    I think that someone needs to take a nap! LAME

  408. maddi

    i counted ten in all
    please pick me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  409. Alison

    LOL. what a complete moron!

  410. K La

    I found nine SPELLING errors although he had many more grammar errors.
    1. your should be you’re
    2. thing should be think
    3. hhe is, obviously, he
    4. anbyody should be anybody
    5. stephanie (<-GRR!) is Stephenie
    6. areal just needs the space
    7. becuase should be because
    8. frist is first
    9. fial should be fail but in the context of the sentence makes absolutely no sense. Failure maybe?
    This guy is a moron.
    Spell check, buddy, ever heard of it? These are like first grade vocabulary words.

  411. natasha

    8 spelling mistakes

  412. Mel

    Kaleb–I found 8 spelling errors, but the grammar and other errors in this letter are equally disturbing. I am probably older than most readers of your site (I’m 33), but I love Twilight and your great site…you are so funny! I do worry about the young students today–if this is an example of what they teach in the schools, I am grateful to homeschool my own children even more! Keep up the good work!

  413. Ari

    9, with Stephenie spelled wrong.

    Is this guy related to GJ? They both seem to have the same IQ….

  414. Emma

    Well, it really depends on how you count them….

    There could be 36 or 10 or 3 or 7…it depends on what you count, but those are the only four numbers that could be considered, so depending on what you would put as a “spelling mistake”, it is one of the above mentioned numbers.

    BTW: I think you are great Kaleb, and you are the one who convinced my guy friend to read Twilight, so I thank you :D

    -Emma

  415. Hayli

    nine mistakes, but i’m a bit too lazy to list them all out as clearly you’ve seen them all before this…

    teehee. :D

  416. Alysha

    i just spent $100 on a whole bunch of twilight teez and sweaters, so i dont really need more…..and i start school on monday, so i’ll leave grammer until then. sorry!! hehe
    good luck guys! :-)

  417. Twilighter Fanpire Steph

    I wonder how many times he’s gotten dumped because his girlfriend found out what a true man ,like Edward, is :D
    Oh an Debra (#39) haha that’s probably his version of a vampire book but judging by his writing, I wonder if he can even read it haha

    yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL!
    good one haha :D D

  418. Twilighter Fanpire Steph

    Oh and I really want a shirt please ;D i’m counting about 20 spelling/grammar errors probably wrong though..

  419. alejandro

    hi gys i’m gona post ninee spelng erors i’m a twilite reding guy pleze send me a shrt!

  420. ~Mego~

    “So first all I want to say is that you suck.

    Why are you wasting your time on this (cluck-cluck) book? I know why. Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your(you’re) up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing(think) you are so cool. Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva(of a?) better one than…

    [unintelligible chicken scratches]

    and give me a (bawk)ing break. any guy like edward is a (bawk). a total (bawk). If you inspire(aspire?) to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe(he) is idiot. anbyody can read a book stupid, you are not so(as) cool as you think …

    [farmer's tractor rolls by]

    Is stephanie(STEPHENIE, this one bugs me, I also have a name noone can spell have some r-e-s–p-e-c-t) Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)?2 Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal(a (space) real) guy? Grow up or …

    [cows moo in bored tones]

    so like I promised here are my directions for you if you even care…1 take your site 2 shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (becuase that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the frist(first) place) and 3 shut up and read a real vampire book [...] yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL! (fail)

    [farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]
    D. (no last initial given)”

    there’s my corrections. I think this entire letter is a “major fial” matter of fact it may qualify as “epic FAIL”

  421. Kelsey

    I counted nine.

    I’m not sure why guys are so against reading a book about vampires and romance. So what? It’s not going to make you any less of a man if you pick one up and like it. Hahah.

  422. Daisy

    Ok, I understand that he has a right to voice his opinion, but do it with dignity. And he’s the idiot for not being able to spell a simple word like ‘fail’, I mean, what is wrong with him?? My 5-year-old brother knows how to spell that word, for crying out loud!! And what is it with all the swearing?? It’s kinda sad, really.

    Oh, and you do NOT call Edward and idiot. I understand that he has a right to post his opinion but he will NOT insult the wonderful Edward Cullen!!If he doesn’t like Twilight, than he should find something productive to spend his time with instead of bashing real men who actually like the Twilight series. ‘Cause I know a lot of my boy calssmates love it as much as we do!!!!!!

  423. Sam

    10. I found 10.

  424. Hannahkin

    I’m going to pull a Liz (#183) by rewriting the whole thing, with corrected grammar – syntax (which will include all misuse of words, as well as lack of coherence and frequent use of a certain word, among other things), punctuation, and spelling – so that it’s cognitive. Then I’ll put up the number of mistakes. Yay… this should be fun! ;)

    So first all I want to say is that you suck.
    [Corrected version: "So, first, all I want to say is that you suck." Yep, a comma between "so" and "first", and another comma between "first" and "all". In hindsight, I find this sentence particularly hilarious. If this was all he wanted to say, why did he continue on with this absolutely ridiculous monologic rubbish? TALLY OF MISTAKES - Punctuation: 2; General Stupidity: 5]

    Why are you wasting your time on this (cluck-cluck) book? I know why.

    [Okay, I was going to be lenient, but I've changed my mind. I can't fix these sentences, since technically they're correct, but I'll attack his general language skills anyway. In his first sentence, he asks a question - and then says he knows the answer in his second sentence! I know several people who've done this before, and it drives me crazy every time. If you know the answer, why bother asking the question? *sigh* I'm also going to count his usage of expletives, since it shows his lack of decent vocabulary... poor guy. TALLY OF MISTAKES - General Stupidity: 6; Obscene Language: 1]

    Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s and your up here and all you do is read a stupid book and thing you are so cool.

    [My brain just had a haemorrhage. Firstly, I don't get the first part of this sentence: "Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s...". WHAT?! I can't correct it, since I don't know what he means. He's so incoherent...! Then, he uses the word "and" three times - foolish! He also manages to misspell the word "you're", which is not only a spelling error, but also a punctuation error, and misspells the word "think". so, here is my attempted Corrected Version: "Because you (bawk-bawk) (cluck)s. You're up here and all you do is read a stupid book and think you are so cool." TALLY OF MISTAKES - Obscene Language: 2; Spelling: 2; Punctuation: 1; Syntax: 2 (for the incoherence and the frequent use of "and"); General Stupidity: 20]

    Well I tell you anybody can read a book and one (cluck-cluck)uva better one than…

    [unintelligible chicken scratches]

    [Okay. He firstly forgets his commas between “well” and “I” and between “you” and “anybody”. There should be another comma between “book” and “and”, as well. Plus, he says, “…ONE (cluck-cluck) of a better ONE..” which once again doesn’t make sense. He obviously doesn’t read through his work. I’ll count repetition as syntax, shall I? His use of swear words is appalling – I changed it to “heck”. Corrected Version: “Well, I tell you, anybody can read a book, and one heck of a better than…” TALLY OF MISTAKES – Punctuation: 3; Syntax: 1; Obscene Language: 1; General Stupidity: 50)

    and give me a (bawk)ing break. any guy like edward is a (bawk). a total (bawk). If you inspire to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like hhe is idiot. anbyody can read a book stupid, you are not so cool as you think …

    [farmer's tractor rolls by]

    [Whew. What a mouthful. His main error in this passage is his lack of CAPITAL LETTERS at the beginning of sentences. We see this from the first 3 sentences, and the 5th sentence. I wonder if he went to 1st Grade? Plus, his sentence, "a total (bawk)." shouldn't even be a sentence on it's own, but should rather be joined to the previous sentence by a dash. As if that weren't enough, there are four offensive words - let's call them OW's - in said passage, he managed to make the fatal error of not capitalising the "E" in "Edward", he misspelt the words "he" and "anybody", he left out the comma between "is" and "idiot" as well as the comma between "book" and "stupid", and he used the word "so" instead of the word "as" in his sentence, "you are not so cool as you think.." (which should technically end in "you are", as well..) I saved the best for last - he used the word "inspire" instead of "aspire"! Oh, my dainty socks! It is just too bawking hilarious, friends.. Corrected Version: "And give me a (bawk)ing break. Any guy like Edward is a (bawk) - a total (bawk). If you aspire to be like him you are just a (bawk-bawk)head like he is, idiot. Anybody can read a book, stupid, you are not as cool as you think you are..." TALLY OF MISTAKES: Punctuation: 8; Obscene Language: 4; Spelling: 2; Syntax: 3; General Stupidity: 100]

    Is stephanie Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)?2 Or what did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you and you’re too (bawk-bawk) to be areal guy? Grow up or …

    [cows moo in bored tones]

    [Wow. Did he really go on longer than this? Incredible. Let's continue. First of all, he manages, like the moron he is, to spell Stephenie's name wrong, excluding the fact that he fails to capitalise it. Another 3 OW's make their appearance, and a random 2 appears out of thin air. In his clause, "Or what did your mom..." he makes another two errors. Firstly, if this sentence was to make sense AT ALL, he wouldn't have included the "what" - so that's a mark in the syntax book. Even so, his use of "what" means that he should have had a comma in between "or" and "what" as well as in between "what" and "did"... but he didn't! *gasp* :D I don't understand his use of the word "probably" in the middle of a sentence, either - that's another syntax mark. Then - I present to you the funniest mistake. He asks, "did your girlfriend or probably your mom make you..?" *ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you... did his girlfriend or probably his mom make him what, exactly? Now, since we are advanced like that, we assume that he means Kaleb's girlfriend or probably his mom made him READ THE BOOK. But does he say that, folks? Does he? Nope. Of course, to top it all off, he combines the words "a" and "real" to form a new word - "areal"! Hah. What I really want to know, though, is this: what did he threaten to do to you? Tell your mom? Pester you forever and ever? Oh, I do hope it's the last one! I'd just love to edit all of his rubbish for entertainment purposes :D Corrected Version: Is Stephenie Meyer paying you to (bawk-bawk) out this (cluck-cluck)? Or did your girlfriend or your mom make you read the book and you're too (bawk-bawk) to be a real guy? Grow up or I'll tell Mom!" TALLY OF MISTAKES: Spelling: 2; Punctuation: 3; Syntax: 4; Obscene Language: 3; General Stupidity: 5 000.]

    so like I promised here are my directions for you if you even care…1 take your site 2 shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (becuase that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the frist place) and 3 shut up and read a real vampire book [...] yOU aRE mAJOR fIAL!

    [farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]
    D. (no last initial given)

    [Hmm. It’s the last paragraph! Let’s see how many mistakes I can tally up in this one. “so” should be capitalised; there should be a comma between “so” and “like”, as well as between “promised” and “here”, and between “you” and “if”; new lines should be entered for every new number, which is a total of 3 syntax marks; there should be full stops between each number and each point, which is 3 punctuation points; there should be a capital letter at the beginning of each point, which is ANOTHER 3 punctuation points; there should be a semi-colon in between “site” from point 1 and the number 2, and there should be a comma between the “and” from point 2 and the number 3, which is ANOTHER 2 punctuation points; the words “because” and “first”, which I, for one, learned in 1st Grade, are misspelt, adding up to 2 spelling errors; there are 3 OW’s, and the “mAJOR fIAL” part is completely ridiculous, with a mark against syntax and a mark against spelling for the corruption of the word “fail”.
    Corrected Version: “So, like I promised, here are my directions for you, if you even care…
    1. Take your site;
    2. Shove it up your (bawk-bawk)ing (cluck-cluck) (because that is where all this (cluck-cluck) came from in the first place) and,
    3. Shut up and read a real vampire book. [...] *mumbles on about failure, most probably regarding his own, in regards to trying to get his point across*

    [farmer begins to wonder what to have for the Christmas Feast]
    D. (no last initial given)” TALLY OF MISTAKES: Spelling: 3; Punctuation: 12; Syntax: 4; Obscene Language: 3; General Stupidity: 10 000 000]

    So, here is the total amount of mistakes:

    SPELLING: 9
    PUNCTUATION: 29
    SYNTAX: 14
    OBSCENE LANGUAGE: 14
    GENERAL STUPIDITY: 10 005 181

    TOTAL (without General Stupidity): 66
    TOTAL (with General Stupidity): 10 005 247

    THE END! :)

  425. Daniel (YES. THIS IS A GUY NAME)

    Buahaha! Nine.

    The idiot.

    Real Men Read Twilight!!! >8D They’re smart enough to do so… reading Twilight, according to real girls that I’m quoting, brings guys to a “whole new level of cool”. xD

  426. Riley (not the newborn guy vampire)

    I counted 10 with Stephenie’s name spelled wrong. (she said in her rambling bio (Stephen+ie=me) dur) And I am a girl and a guy who reads Twilight gets maaaaajor points in my book.

    And I would loove a guy like Edward you stupid D person!

  427. NyteRock

    I counted eight spelling errors, one word that was spelled right but used incorrectly (“your” instead of “you’re”) and I’m pretty sure he meant “aspire” instead of “inspire”.
    So eight if you don’t count those two, ten if you do.
    He’s an idiot.

  428. davy

    I found 11
    I say let’s eat the damn chicken…rooster.. thing >:D

  429. Courtney

    I counted 9. but thay was just spelling. hope these dint bring you down, k. I love ‘em, they are so funny! Why would guys notread twilight? Thats like, instant bf material

  430. Steff-A-Leff

    HAHA wow you really are awesome :) i wish i could sit down and read everything you did. This is so funny… chicken scratches hehe and umm, why would you send him a shirt if he was being mean to you? i’d send him a cd with the chicken song on it! haha

  431. Steff-A-Leff

    ohh and i think there are 8 spelling errors :)

  432. Rachel

    I believe he had nine(9) spelling mistakes.

    It is so good that you can just laugh this kind of idiotic negativity off. Obviously his IQ is equivalent to the number of swear words he knows. :)

    What a rotten egg…

  433. Toya

    OHK.
    i really want a t-shirt!!!
    and i counted 12.
    yup! twelve.

    very strong guess its twelve. VERY very haha.

  434. vampirefreak

    i believe I got 8 spelling mistakes, including inspire, areal, and stephenie.

  435. Jessica

    9 mistakes!!!!!!!

    I can’t believe he said that… what a dummy can’t even spell!

  436. Ari

    Time to get out the bread crumbs and make some fried chicken.

  437. Patrick

    I counted nine spelling errors, and two occasions in which he used the wrong word. (Inspire-Aspire;”So cool as”-As cool as). Before I started reading these books, I expected them to be complete and utter crap. I picked up my sister’s copy of Twilight out of curiosity and read the first chapter. Then something amazing happened….. I didn’t want to put it down. I couldn’t put it down. I am not gay, contrary to what many of my peers have said since I started taking the books to school. In truth, I talk to- and flirt with- more girls than I did before. These books are great, and I can honestly say that I haven’t been this attached to a series since the first three Harry Potter books. I think that what happened with Midnight Sun is a tragedy, and though I am not an author, I am an artist and I know how one’s mood influences one’s art. I love your site- though I’m a little jealous that I didn’t think of it first- and I think it’s great that they’re is someone out there to let people know that these aren’t just chick books. The way I see them is that there is just enough romance for the girls to gush over, yet just enough action/suspense to allow guys to read them without being gay.

    Thanks for being our voice,
    Patrick L.
    Fellow Twilight Guy

  438. Brigid

    i counted 20. [including capitalization]

    but really, how can we know, because you took out the swears, and if this dude is as terrible at typing as i am, they will be misspelled, too. well, most of them will be, anyways.

    [woohoo! 3 sentences without a single error!]

  439. Recent Links Tagged With "moo" - JabberTags

    [...] public links >> moo Some Guys Will Never Learn (III) Saved by phantomxpxp on Fri 03-10-2008 019 – How do they even move like that? Saved by elana on [...]

  440. Tianna

    Wow. Im only a kid, and I write better than these geeks. Oh wait, geeks know how to spell. I guess a more appropriate name for these guys is ‘COMPLETE MORON’. They need to go back to school, or the dark pit in (cluck) they came from.
    You can’t tell me you don’t agree with that.

    I counted nine spelling mistakes, by the way.

  441. CJ

    Eye tihnk tis muron iz U toatal wetard. du u agree with me.

  442. CJ

    (Correction.) Eye tihnk tis muron iz u toatal wetard. du you agree with me?

  443. CJ

    I counted 9. YOU ROCK KALEB!!!

  444. brittina

    Wow…
    This guy must have little man syndrome and a little wenus…

    Otherwise he might have a life….

    lame.

  445. Jasteno

    Man, I love this guy. Him and GJ, they are an awesome pair! Hopefully some more people like them (well, at least ones that can spell decently or have gramatical sense) can actually speak their mind! Thank you D, and GJ, for your glorious contributions to the epicness of being anti-anything!

    -Jasteno Daniels

  446. Alice C.

    I trully hope that that chicken will be eaten by the farmer. Merry Christmas, farmer!

  447. Nessie

    Fourteen. Discluding Grammar.
    Amazing how people never learn, isn’t it?

  448. Insane Jasper Fan, AKA Erika

    My brain hurts from reading such stupidity. And that is not something that happens often.

    I found 8 actual spelling mistakes. 10 if you count thing (supposed to be think) and inspire (supposed to be aspire). As for grammar and other errors…I’m not even going to go there.

  449. EMI

    i found 10 spelling mistakes… ha ha ..i find it funny that some guys think that they are gonna find a girl with that attitude…lol…i will only date guys who read twilight! :)

  450. CJ

    GJ and D SUCK!!(in many different ways) There are more guys who love Twilight then who hate it. I am one who loves it. Dont like it, dont give a d***. (D and GJ Suck. Just had to say it)

  451. CJ

    I agree with Tianna(#440)

  452. Tara

    So, If this were happening in the real world and not cyberspace, I would choose Kaleb Nation over these boozoos anyday! I am sure most women would agree with me. Feministic rant:

    It is horrid males like these patronizing pigs that is the reason why I have willing choosen a single life for my whole teenage years. You expect females to dress a certain way and act below your intelligence level to boast your own ego. Well if you are going to impress me with your “superior male intelligence” then please actually possess some measure of brain activity. D. and GJ, start making your own sandwhiches and please read a piece of literature. Stop embarrasing yourselves on this site.

    Kaleb, please keep up the good work. Can’t wait to read your book and future posts! Much Love!

  453. Kristie

    Well, fRIst off, what the “cluck-cluck” does this person think? That bitching makes them special or something? They just went on about you thinking you’re so great because you blog about a book, and all they can do to prove themselves is bitch? Nice. I think they deserve an EPIC FAIL!

    Kaleb, I would be besties with you in a heartbeat (in a total not creepy way). People who slam you are on crack. I’d like to see them run two websites, and a youtube account and a BlogTV account and edit a book and write a new one and compose music to go along with the first book and go to college. I’m in college, and I think if I took anything else on I would explode from pure stress. You deserve my very lofty award of Ultimate Kudos. Keep on rockin’ ;)

  454. Kate

    I have no idea if this is still going or not, but I caught nine; I caught ten if you count the misspelling of Stephenie Meyer’s name.
    Kaleb, you rock!

  455. Becca

    Hmmm, I only caught 9 spelling errors… that is a major flal.

  456. Kaitlyn

    I caught 7 mistakes. :]
    whatta fool!

  457. Anon Anon

    I’m an anti, and I laughed like crazy at this shit.

  458. Rachel

    I’m probably too late to enter the contest, but oh well. I will try anyway.

    So first of all, why does this site make people so pissed? I mean, it’s a GREAT site. People just need to shut up for once.

    Okay, so on to the contest.

    The “your” in the beginning could be counted as either a grammar or spelling mistake. [it's supposed to be "you're"]. Okay. So there are 7 spelling mistakes. And a random “2″ in the third paragraph. [not counting the first line]

    There are probably too many grammar mistakes to possibly count. Idiot.

  459. Snow Wight

    I counted 8 SPELLING mistakes. I tried counting the grammar too, just for fun, and wound up with 36 (and that was being lenient). ;) I’m a grammar nut–this pains my eyes. *shudders at the knowledge that this is the shortened version*

    :) Kaleb, I commend your amazing attitude towards this ridiculousness!

  460. Emma

    I counted 7, but it could be that it’s 1:15am and I’m more asleep than awake.

    You know, it’s funny how they hate you yet know so much about you!

    I say whatever to them and YOU ROCK!

  461. Claudia

    Well, I got ten, including Stephenie’s name being spelt wrong. I’m actually really nervous now, I don’t want to leave a comment and find out I made spelling mistakes as well. To top it off, my fear has grown worse after the dreaded squiggly red line just appeared under Stephenie’s name.
    I hope I got it right: spelling and answer included.

  462. Stef

    11. massive fail.

  463. N.C

    Hate mail is hilarious! They’re making themselves look so ignorant it’s not even funny. I wouldn’t bother counting mistakes, there’s probably too many coming from the peanut factory. Like they say small things please small minds. Really? Who takes the time to sit down a type a e-mail that makes everyone else laugh and completely misses the target to make others feel bad. Lehoo-Zeyher (loser people loser), these haters really have no friends, no life. Kaleb you’re my idol, you’re so right not letting them get to you, they’re not worth it.

  464. Hannah

    i got 10, 9 if you dont count the spelling on stephenie’s name 8 if you dont count the missing space in areal man

  465. Kylie

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! …..*ahem*….wow….

    I don’t need a shirt. That was enough of a treat. Thanks for sharing, Kaleb!
    And thanks GJ and D for being so entertaining!

  466. MsKittyCullen

    I got 11…
    *Fail*

    Kitty
    xzx

  467. Morgen

    NINE!WOW I can’t believe he/she had the guts to send that! Someone needs to wash his/her mouth out with soap! (Sorry if my grammar’s incorrect [should he/she, his/her, be they, their?] I really should know that, we JUST learned it before spring break…pathetic I know). ANYWHO, YOU ROCK (as usual)! FAREWELL!

  468. carolina

    nine -_-

  469. Rene Hudson

    For this one, 10. He spelled Stephenie's name wrong! These are so funny. :)

  470. Dollface

    ok,so that person has some issues.None of your haters can spell either.lol.
    well,i think its cool that a guy is reading the book. even if it is just for and experiment of whatever.

    good luck with your site. :]

  471. Felicia

    Wow this is probably a total of about 1,000, 011, considering the last “mAJOR FIAL.” I hope I wasn't cursed/diagnosed with the disease of overusing the term “FIAL!” -Sigh-

    Clucking out! :]

  472. Creasy

    There Were Too Many Mistakes For Me To Count&I Got Lazy Lol
    It's Obvious That These Guys Don't Even Bother Reading At All

  473. Angelica

    Ah well, you can't please everybody. There are even girls/women out there who hate the series… thinking that the story is lame, alongside the characters, etc. I've even read comments on Facebook groups saying how they hate how ignorant the fans of Twilight are because “it's not a real vampire story.” HAHAHAHA. Welllllll… it wasn't INTENDED to be a “real vampire story.” Hence, the typical vampiric traits of being allergic to garlic, etc. are deemed as mere legends. It is first and foremost, a supernatural love story. What I hate about these “haters” is how they go to the point of truly disrespecting the fans, calling us names and threatening us… ??? Like, SERIOUSLY? You're threatening me because of a BOOK(S)? Just pathetic. Whatever happened to freedom of wanting to read whatever you want to read? Whatever happened to having individuality? What happened to just reading out of simple pleasure? Seriously. DON'T tell me what to do.

    That's basically what that hater was doing. Actually, he was DEMANDING you to stop reading “this shit,” to “take down your website” because it's also shit, etc. So maybe I can DEMAND him to shove his d*ck up his ass, if it's even long enough to reach there? Sorry. I don't care about him hating on Twilight… he can hate all he wants. Like I said, you CAN'T please everybody. What I DON'T like is him disrespecting you like that. And I speak to all haters. Apparently, we're not allowed to have our own opinions… and if we don't agree to theirs, we'll be threatened to eat sh*t and die. LMAO. Sorry. That made me laugh. Pathetic.

    ANYWAYS. Keep up the great work, Kaleb. Unfortunately I JUST found out about you through EclipseMovieOrg. By the way, impressive resume for a 21-year-old. Not that there are no 21-year-olds that can create a similar one :p Welllll.. peace, love and Twilight!

  474. accv_LiKEOMG*RobLorElica!*<3

    Ah well, you can't please everybody. There are even girls/women out there who hate the series… thinking that the story is lame, alongside the characters, etc. I've even read comments on Facebook groups saying how they hate how ignorant the fans of Twilight are because “it's not a real vampire story.” HAHAHAHA. Welllllll… it wasn't INTENDED to be a “real vampire story.” Hence, the typical vampiric traits of being allergic to garlic, etc. are deemed as mere legends. It is first and foremost, a supernatural love story. What I hate about these “haters” is how they go to the point of truly disrespecting the fans, calling us names and threatening us… ??? Like, SERIOUSLY? You're threatening me because of a BOOK(S)? Just pathetic. Whatever happened to freedom of wanting to read whatever you want to read? Whatever happened to having individuality? What happened to just reading out of simple pleasure? Seriously. DON'T tell me what to do.

    That's basically what that hater was doing. Actually, he was DEMANDING you to stop reading “this shit,” to “take down your website” because it's also shit, etc. So maybe I can DEMAND him to shove his d*ck up his ass, if it's even long enough to reach there? Sorry. I don't care about him hating on Twilight… he can hate all he wants. Like I said, you CAN'T please everybody. What I DON'T like is him disrespecting you like that. And I speak to all haters. Apparently, we're not allowed to have our own opinions… and if we don't agree to theirs, we'll be threatened to eat sh*t and die. LMAO. Sorry. That made me laugh. Pathetic.

    ANYWAYS. Keep up the great work, Kaleb. Unfortunately I JUST found out about you through EclipseMovieOrg. By the way, impressive resume for a 21-year-old. Not that there are no 21-year-olds that can create a similar one :p Welllll.. peace, love and Twilight!

  475. Pulak Kumar

    These guys don't even know how to write hate-mail properly. If you're obnoxious and articulate, at least we can understand you!

  476. Cynthia Veal

    Enjoyed every bit of your blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Awesome.

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