(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

Reading New Moon: Chapter 18 (The Funeral)

September 18th, 2008 at 12:02 am by Kaleb Nation

The song for this chapter is 9 Crimes by Damien Rice (suggested by Claire)

For those of you who missed it, Stephenie was on Ellen yesterday for a short segment about her start as a writer and how she created the Twilight Saga. I of course was in the living room waiting at 3 PM, and the television made a dramatic shift from my roommate’s Grand Theft Auto game to me watching Ellen dancing in her studio πŸ˜€ . But the waiting was worth it because Stephenie did awesome.

When the previous chapter of New Moon ended, Jacob had showed up at the door, and Alice made her quick exit so as to avoid messy business in Bella’s house. Obviously, Jacob is not pleased to smell that a vampire has been in the house. His entire nature changes as he goes down the halls, smelling the place for his mortal enemies. Even though Bella seems to be angry, I think she is more of hurt: seeing her friend so enraged just because one of Bella’s other friends has been there.

Really, I think the entire book so far might be summed up in part of what was said in this chapter:

“Can’t I be friends with you both at the same time?” I asked. […]

He shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t think you can.”

It’s a choice: whose side is Bella on? Vampires, or werewolves? Which friend does she value more: and does she really want to think about making that choice?

I was shocked when Carlisle called. Has it not been months of no communication between the Cullens and anyone they left behind in Forks? Why would he choose that moment to suddenly call, just to ask about the funeral?

I was soon set right. My reaction through the next 2 pages followed this pattern:





as I slowly realized what was happening as the story took a dramatic shift in a totally different direction than my mind had been expecting it to go.

Bella sums up her character very well:

“I almost get myself killed on a daily basis!”

And as expected, Jacob gets into an argument with Alice the moment Bella leaves the room:

Alice: “The Volturi are the very essence of our kind […] they are the substance of your nightmares, the dread behind your instincts. I’m not unaware of that.”

“And you take her to them like a bottle of wine for a party!” he shouted.

“Am not!” Alice shouted back. “I’m taking a bottle of something different, thank you very much!”

And then suddenly, with the realization of the danger that Edward is in, Bella and Alice are off to hunt him down. And not surprisingly, visiting a town with these near-legendary vampires called the Volturi, of whom I have heard a great amount of rumors, is perhaps the part of this book I am looking forward to the most.


– I will be broadcasting on BlogTV again later this week or next week! Right now, I’m not sure if I’ll be sick this weekend or not, so subscribe and it’ll let you know if I get on.

Posted in New Moon

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62 Responses

  1. Kaitlyn

    I wanna bottle o Kaleb! First comment!

  2. Devon

    hahahaha Bottle of Kaleb! I love it!

    I’m so excited for you to keep reading! This was really the point where my “New Moon Depression” finally lifted as I anticipated an Edward reunion. I think my heart was doing double time!

    I’m putting in my suggestion that you start reading at least 2 chapters for each post :)

  3. Olivia(StuffOnHeads)

    Bottle of Kaleb. That’s totally amazing.
    I can’t wait for you to read more. And i can’t wait to see you on BlogTV again, because that was hilarious.

  4. Athena of Forks

    Still ROFL about the Bottle o’ Kaleb! Excited to meet the Volturi, much? XD

  5. Wren

    Stephenie IS amazing/awesome, and you’re going to have fun with the rest of New Moon, or at least more fun with it than with Calc homework.

  6. Angela

    I agree with Devon. I think everyone can agree that this is the point where you just cannot stop reading.Stephenie Meyer is so awesome. =D

  7. Steph

    Bottle of Kaleb? Ew. Not even the Volturi would drink that, you know. Ahaha.

    Ooh, getting exciting. Can’t wait to see your take on the next few chapters. :)

  8. Dani

    HUZZAH! ou have finally reached the exciting part of New Moon! when you get a chance you should read the New Moon extra called rosalie (on Stephenie’s website) gives an insight into edwards state of mind. READ IT!!!

  9. Anon

    Kaleb Kaleb!!! please please pick the song closing in by imogen heap for the next chapter!!! Dx

  10. JessieLynn

    WOOT! A bottle of Kaleb! Do you think the world is ready for that? I’m not sure…
    Anyway, you should def. read “Rosalie” and a lot a vamp-tastic amazing-ness is coming your way!
    P.S.- Hopefully my speakers will be installed by then, so I can actually hear you! lol πŸ˜€

  11. Amanda

    At this point in New Moon I was just glad I would get to see Edward soon.

  12. Jamie

    “This was really the point where my β€œNew Moon Depression” finally lifted as I anticipated an Edward reunion. I think my heart was doing double time!”

    yep, same here :)

    The Volterra part of the book is awesome!

  13. Shatha

    A Bottle o’ Heroin works too (:
    Hah, that line does sumarise Eclipse very well. It’s pretty much the starting point from there.
    I love the Volturi, they’re so interesting!
    But you’ll only find out if you read faster.

  14. Babette

    If you thought it was hard to put Twilight down during the whole James thing, just see how much trouble you have now! I hope you’re caught up on your homework reading, because you aren’t going to want to read anything else for a while. Good thing a weekend is coming…

  15. Amaranthine

    I love hearing other people’s reaction to this chapter. It just brings it all back for me. You should definitely get more sleep–it sucks getting sick within the first few weeks of school. Take it from me. Take care of yourself and enjoy your reading!

  16. Mon Solo

    Bottle o’Kaleb…excellent!

    You’re getting to the best part! The Volturi are some of my favorite characters in the series.

  17. Debra

    Haha, love the “Bottle O’ Kaleb” that was great. You’re getting to the best parts of the book, I wonder if you’re going to be posting any double chapters. It’s hard to put down in these next ones.

  18. Ryan

    Kaleb, funny stuff… Love the bottle!!

    We want to do an interview with you, will you let us? We just did one with Kimmy from hisgoldeneyes.com that you can see here:

    Please let us know… oh, and love the blog…

  19. Samie

    bottle of kaleb! thats Friggen awsome! it sounds as if u aare excited for the rest of the book! as u should be! now kaleb, new moon is gonna get HARDER to put down! hehe good luck!

  20. dsolo

    You finally get to meet the vampire police that you were speculating on while reading Twilight.

  21. tina

    I know I could hardly sit still as I read the next few chapters. It’s wonderful how Stephenie builds you up to the excitement in Voltura… I’ll be surprised if you can stick to one chapter at a time!
    And then, after Voltura – wow!
    You do kinda have to feel sorry for Jacob, though. He thought he was going to end up with Bella, and at this point, he thinks she will die in Italy – for Edward….

  22. Johanna

    Stephanie was really good on Ellen. :)

    I loved your take on chapter 18. I agree with you on Bella summing up her character and the story of the book.
    And the Carlise calling about the funeral confused me too when I read it the first time.

    The bottle o’ Kaleb was just hilarious. Are you this funny in real life, or is it just an act? πŸ˜›

  23. Quixotic Healer

    Ha, ha, love the Bottle O’ Kaleb.

    For some reason the I Dream of Jeannie theme popped into my head…huh.


    Dun-na, do-do do-do do, Dun-na, do-do do-do do….

  24. ghostgirl118 (isabelle)

    I’m totally depressed i missed you…

    stupid ike!! i still don’t have power. I don’t even have a generator!

    heck, i have to type this in like, 3 minutes, on a teacher computer at my school…

    it’s a terrible time.
    sorry for missing your birthday.

    will see you when i get power!!
    i promise…

  25. Loony_Lovegood

    I had to re-read that part a couple times before i believed it. =]
    Bottle o’ Kaleb. lol.

  26. becky sue

    YAY You’re totally getting to the best parts now!!!

  27. Alli

    Yay! You’re into the action part of this story. I love this part. It’s kinda funny to think that you don’t know who the Volturi are. Keep reading!! You’re taking this a lot faster than Twilight!

  28. HeyJoyous

    Stephenie was great on Ellen but I was hoping for so much more. She and Ellen could have had great fun!

    Bottle of Kaleb. LOL!

  29. Becky

    remember those “vampire police” you mentioned early on? Yeah. This is why all the Twilight fans who read your blog were laughing. Because the vampire police are kind of the bad guys. At least some of the time…

    this is one of the past parts of the series. the next few chapters are amazing. Stephenie Meyer’s genius at work.

    and wow, Bottle of Kaleb! Awesome

  30. E

    Volturi= That “Vampire Police Force” that you were wondering about… although they wouldn’t have been any help against James. :/
    The next couple of chapters are the climax… that action that you love so much lol
    Have fun!

  31. mara-kate

    lol! bottle of kaleb! xD youre getting so close youre almost done new moon! YAY!!!!!! youre amazing for sticking through it this long :)

  32. Katie Beth

    O these planned sicknesses… πŸ˜›

    I don’t know what on earth I would do with a Bottle O’ Kaleb, but I’m sure I would find something intriguing. You should market those. πŸ˜›

  33. Jenna

    i’m not sure if you’ll be able to only read 1 chapter at a time from this point on πŸ˜› this is where the good part of the book really gets going.

  34. Kaylee

    YAY! You’ve finally got to the best part of this book!

  35. Tina

    The last part of New Moon is my favorite throughout all the series πŸ˜€ Though strangely it’s my least favorite book…

  36. Aubrey

    The Volturi are so entertaining, yet very creepy. Its a weird combination. You will love Aro, Kaleb! He is so funny! And his power is awesome too. Enjoy reading the most suspenseful part of the book… the race through Volterra.

  37. Audree

    Oh my GOD!!! Best, most intense chapter EVER. I new this book was based on Romeo and Juliet when I started, but I (for some reason) couldn’t predict what would happened near the end until this chapter. And I YELLED “NO EDWARD!!!!!!!!!” and called my friend. SO intense!!!

  38. Court

    i agree with devon!
    two chapters at a time!!! πŸ˜€

  39. Priscilla :)

    YAY!!!!!! i happen to love the volturi chapters!! they are really interseting. i was so happy when she went to go save edward. i was all “THANK GOODNESS!! i dont have to speed read anymore!”

  40. Katie

    Ha same thing happened here only ellen is more widely accepted here cause it usually just me and my sister. The segment made me wonder what does it really take to write a book? I have alot of time and crazy dreams myself I just can never seem to organize them into complete sentences let alone a book. I’d like to hear you opinion on this and Happy Belated Birthday =]

  41. Rosalie

    This was my second favorite part of the book!!! I can’t wait for you to meet the Volturi!!! They are very cool!! Wait till you see Edward!!! He is funny!!! Well funny in a crazy, psychotic way. And I was wondering where I might be able to get a Bottle O’ Kaleb? It sounds very good.

  42. Rosalie

    Oh yea and my favorite part of it is the beginning when Edward and Bella are watching Romeo And Juliet. That part is very sweet!!!

  43. Erin

    Hah. I haven’t seen that yet… cuz I have school, and here Ellen is on at 10 in the morning. So, yeah. I’m youtubing it. πŸ˜€
    Also, very perceptive about the Jake thing. By that point I was just rushing through everything to read about Edward. I had to re-read the book before I caught everything that Jake says.
    I also think that you really don’t care aobut the Volturi, you just want to read the next bit cuz Edward is in it. Yeah, we know you missed him. Just kidding, Mr Kaleb in a Bottle. Do you sing like a genie? Hah.
    Anywhos… great job. You should read the next bit fast… and then go back to the first part where Bella’s crying in the forest up to where she’s saved…
    Happy reading!

  44. Claire

    Awesome! You’re at one of the best parts in the series.
    The next few chapters are going to be amazing.
    I can’t wait until you meet the Volturi; they’re an interesting bunch to say the least.
    I wonder if you’ll be able to resist reading more than one chapter at a time now with all the excitement going on. πŸ˜€

  45. Heather

    Yeah, this next part in Volturi is one of the best in the entire series. I think you’ll greatly enjoy it =D

  46. Nicole Jet

    Be sure to check out Stephenie’s website if you want to read the phone call between Rosalie and Edward.

    hee hee hee. The Volturi…

  47. Christina

    haha! bottle o kaleb XD that’s hilarious. lol. omg i have no idea how you stopped reading there! geez…read faster!! lol πŸ˜‰

  48. devz30

    bottle o’ kaleb!! lol.
    The next chapters are my fav.
    And yeah, bella pretty much gets killed on a daily basis- laughed at that one.
    Keep reading. (And remember to take breaks too.)

  49. Jessie

    Bum bum BAAAAM!

    Yep. Really looking forward to your reading the next couple chapters. =D

  50. urcoolcarrie

    HOLY CRAP! you have now officially reached the part of new moon where my life was set back in motion. it starts getting interesting now, and i have no idea how in the heck you are going to manage reading just one chapter at a time. at this point, i read the rest straight on through without any interuptions. i couldn’t. it just gets too good. :)

  51. anne a.


    If you go to Stephenie Meyer’s site, she has outtakes and extras on the books. For New Moon she has one on what Edward was up to when he left Bella. It basically tells you of what happened during the time Alice saw Bella jump off the cliff, what Rosalie did and what Edward’s reaction was. It’s definitely worth the read.

  52. Charlee

    I don’t know how you could possibly stop reading after this chapter. I know that I couldn’t, the suspense would have killed me!!!

  53. rhianyn

    thats too funny that 9 crimes is the song for this chapter. i just recently downloaded it cuz its from a fav greys anatomy episode of mine & thought it was very new moon-ish. especially with the tension bella must be feeling for being torn between jacob and the cullens. kudos to claire!!!!

  54. annie.ohhhhyes

    omg, i LOVE that song! and it fits so well for this chapter!

  55. KT

    Great stuff, Kaleb! But how can you stand to only read 2 chapters a week? I would go insane w/.
    Oh, by the way, where might I be able to get a bottle of that “Bottle O’ Kaleb” stuff? haha…Just kidding.

  56. claudia

    I think everything you’ve read up to now, I read in a day, anticipating the moment Edward was going to appear again, as I always knew he would. The world seemed right again ^_^….WOW I got major O.E.C.D.!!!

  57. Emily

    i can play this song on the piano!!! ^^

  58. Katilyn

    Darn you, Kaleb Nation! I was reading new moon and when I got to this chapter I couldn't stop laughing because I was thinking of that silly wine bottle. this part is supposed to be all suspensful and scary, and because of you it's hilarious. XD

  59. Katilyn

    Darn you, Kaleb Nation! I was reading new moon and when I got to this chapter I couldn't stop laughing because I was thinking of that silly wine bottle. this part is supposed to be all suspensful and scary, and because of you it's hilarious. XD

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