(Posted by Kaleb Nation )

TwilightGuys Report: He Finally Read The Books

March 13th, 2009 at 12:05 am by Kaleb Nation


HE FINALLY READ THE BOOKS

I have two sisters who are obsessed with Twilight, and at first i was just like…what is the big deal?

One time, when they were talking about it, I thought they were talking about real people. At dinner they were saying “OMG I cant believe that Jacob kissed Bella, I hope Edward really hurts him.” Then my other sister said “Yeah i know, eat fast!” and so i said “what do you mean eat fast is this fight happening tonight? Where?”

They both just laughed and didn’t answer me. I didn’t get it, so i said to my mom “you’re just letting them go to a fight?” and she said “James they’re talking about Edward & Jacob” with an expression like i should know what that means. I asked “Who’s Edward & Jacob?” and my sister Liz said “from our book, the one we’ve been trying to get you to read.” I said they were obsessed. They just giggled and said “we know.”

Then a few days later in school i saw my best friend with Twilight in class. This book was starting to tick me off, it was everywhere. I said “come on David not you too!” He claimed Amy, his girlfriend was making him read it, but she was behind him shaking her head.

He said it was actually pretty good and i should just read it. I didn’t want to admit defeat to anyone, so i stole it out of my sister’s room after she was asleep, and I couldn’t put it down. I actually stayed up all night reading it. Then i wanted to read the next one, but it wasn’t in my sister Liz’s room, so i checked my other sister Kate’s room, but i couldn’t find it. I was actually mad. I couldn’t believe i was just as addicted as them!

She had lent it to a friend, and when i asked her about it, it was pretty funny,

“so where’s your stupid book with the flower on it?” I asked.

“Why, i’ll tell mom if you do anything to it so don’t even think about it!” she replied.

“Calm down,” I said. “I just mean cause you always have it pressed to your face”

“I’m not on that one anymore so i lent it to Vanessa.” she said.

It took Vanessa a whole week to give it back, and she put it on the dining room table when we got home, and i took it when they went in the kitchen. I went down to my room, and I had only got to the part where Edward left when Liz came down, so I hid it in my dresser and acted like i was playing World of Warcraft. I was actually upset (i know this is embarrasing to admit but i could feel bella’s pain). So Liz said “did you take New Moon?” i turned and said “no, why would i take your book?”

She started laughing and said “wow, i know wasn’t it awful when Edward left?” I couldn’t even answer her and so she said “it’s okay just read it” and kept laughing up the stairs to tell Kate. I was embarrassed but i took it out of my dresser and kept reading it, and also read Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Now, I am just as obsessed as they are!”

Submitted by James


Posted in TwilightGuys Report
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46 Responses

  1. Theresa

    Aww yay! Another twilightguy report. I’ve missed these.

  2. Tianna

    I missed them too, even if I was still catching up from my own hectic schedual. :P

    Anyways… thats just cute. How many guys out there are secretly obsessed with Twilight and have to resort to stealing the books? XD

  3. Mel

    Excellent! If I had brothers, I’d be bugging them to read it too!

  4. Sarah

    I beg my SISTER to read it.

    she says she cant be stuffed to read them
    :O !!!!!

    I was so disappointed. So i tell her everything that happens(and every insignificant detail)

    I once bust into her room at 12:00pm because
    Edward just proposed to Bella!

    She killed me!

  5. Janine

    the TWILIGHT series are fast running outta stores, and my pals, (the GUYS) are..

    >>read<<

    DESPERATE for copies.
    I had to hide my copies in my cabinet.
    Sorry!!

  6. Katilyn

    it seems there are a lot of stories like this one (including my own brother), where the girl starts talking on and on about Edward and Jacob and Bella, and it makes no sense to anyone but her. then without even trying very hard she’s lured her brother into reading them. XD

    So I guess the best way to get your friends(or brothers) to read the books is to use criptic twilight references in normal conversation, and eventually they’ll be driven so insane with curiousity they just steal your books and read them in secret.

    Obviously having one’s books stolen is not pleasent but once they finally admit their twilight addiction you can steal them back and make ‘em get their own. X3

    (whoa long post)

  7. Jackie

    I havent read a Twilight Guy Report in a while. Not that it’s your fault, it’s just that I have been busy lately. I always find the Twilight GUy Reports so interesting becasue they make me laugh and it’s sweet.
    I love how guys feel that they cant read the books in front of us because they wont admit that they are defeated. It’s the sweetest thing. And how they are so curious and start stealing books and hiding them in cabits. It’s so cute and funny.
    I’m with Katilyn, the best way to get your friends or brother or whoever to get interested in the books is just to refer to it in normal conversations, which we probably all do in our lives already.

  8. Sakura

    Another one out of the closet!!! He’s very funny!!!

  9. anaka

    yay!! more twilightguys reports! I LOVE THEM!! more please??

  10. genevievech81

    That is really great. I wish I could get my boyfriend to read them :)

  11. Heather

    Ughhh I wish my brother would just CAVE and read them! He refuses to even watch the movie, even though all I want him to do is watch the baseball scene so he gets hooked! It’s so ridiculous, a commercial for the DVD came on while we were watching The Office and he ran out of the room so he wouldn’t have to hear it and came back after it was done. Dramatic, much?

  12. Victoria

    That’s awesome! See Twilight is not just for girls. I found it funny for some reason that his name is James. I’m glad he liked them.

  13. Hélène

    Haha, funny the way the sister immediatly exposed her brother ! “pretending to be playing WoW” LOL this is so not twilighter-y.
    A friend of mine is a Twilight guy too… I converted him to the cult ! Though he asked me not to tell anyone : he feels guilty for reading it (and enjoying it). I’ll ask him to write a Twilightguys report ! Since we spend hours talking (arguing hmm) about the book, that’s the least he can do !

  14. Saba

    Oh my god that was so funny! I really enjoyed reading his story.. I wish I could get my brothers to read them, they won’t even look at the books, but I got them to promise they’d watch the movie so hopefully that will hook them on to read it!

  15. Genevieve

    I got my brother to read like, 7 chapters of it on an airplane once and he kept reading in the car on the way to the hotel.
    He didn’t finish it though because when we got home he went back to college. And now he says he doesn’t have time :(
    But I took him to see the movie which was pretty great because then he was asking me tons of questions about where all the Cullens came from and how they were changed, etc.
    Yeah…he’ll read them someday.

  16. Pragya

    i missed your post SOOOOOOO much!!!ive missed these ESPECIALLY !!!
    u knw ur like a big bro to me!!!!
    u kaleb not DIS twilightguy!!!

  17. altissimus

    I got my 13-year-old brother to read Twilight. He wasn’t extremely impressed, but I kept talking to him about it because I had no one else to talk to. After we both read New Moon, I mentioned to my mom that there was suicide in it, and she decided my little brother couldn’t read them anymore. So after I read Eclipse, I spent hours describing the plot to him. Of course, I am a little embarrassed about my obsession with Twilight, so we came up with a series of code names we use whenever we discuss the books.

    Twilight is Forks
    New Moon is Spoons
    Eclipse is Sporks
    Breaking Dawn in Knives
    and of course, the whole thing is the Utensils series.
    Edward is the Literate One
    Bella is the Protagonist
    Alice is the Exuberant One
    Jasper is the Major
    Emmett is the Strong One
    Rosalie is the Tenacious One
    Esme is the Motherly One
    Carlisle is the Doctor
    Jacob is the Angry One
    Werewolves are “angry” and vampires are “calm.” Oh, and the code word for blood is “cheese.” I’m not sure why, but now every time someone mentions cheese, my brother and I share a knowing look.

  18. becky sue

    altissimus and Katilyn: your comments are so halarious! i love it! lol.

    i actually just lent a copy of new moon to a guy friend. i was shocked when i found him reading twilight because he was the LAST person i expected to read the series! but i was so happy! haha.

  19. Yen

    HAHAHAHAHA. I LOVE these stories. lol.

  20. Lacey

    It’s so odd how people are unjustifiably against Twilight! It’s crazy…but everyone loves it once they read it.

  21. Hunter Vala Cullen

    See Even guys cant resist twilight no matter what. I’m glad=) Maybe they’ll get pointers on how to treat a girl=p

    Haha one of my friends (a guy) actually got Twilight before I did. But it was his moms and he hadn’t started reading it until after I got it and then he started reading it too. I finished all 4 before he finished the first one but that’s just cause he is slow=) He’s on Breaking Dawn now. When we were both reading the first one I remember us discussing how hot Edward is! LOL and he’s not even gay=)

  22. GenevieveCullen

    Altissimus and Hunter Vala Cullen’s comments are HILARIOUS.

    I recently got my brother to read the saga. He’s near the end of Breaking Dawn as we speak. I’ll try to get him to send in a TwiGuy report for your reading pleasure :)

  23. TwilightGirl aka Adriana M

    As hard as they try i think guys really would like the series if they gave it a shot. its all about them refusing to give in to the hype.

  24. Anna

    I wish my brother would read the series. He says he hates them and he hasnt read a single word. But my math teacher who is a guy is reading New Moon right now! it makes me so happy. We had a conversation about it today in which i mentioned that Edward was currently curled up in a ball in South America and he (my teacher) says that even though Bella doesnt know Jakes a wolf yet, he already knows cause hes smart. best math class ever

  25. Allison

    Yes, I’ve totally tried. Actually…my friend and I, last year tried to get one of out guy friends to read it. So we were passing notes one day and talking about it and then he grabbed them and wrote “oh yeah? Twilight sucks” or something like that. So we wrote him a complete lie…I think we wrote “Metalica sucks” on it ’cause we knew it would piss him off even though I disagreed with the statement. But, anyhow, we didn’t get anywhere with it. He ended up tearing the notes apart and the next day I told him we lied when we said “Metalica sucks” and he just said “I know” and then ran away. But we did get him to read a bit of Twilight. I guess ’cause he knew we didn’t think Metalica sucked he decided to read it a bit for us. But he made it to the end of Twilight and said “That was stupid! Why didn’t Edward kill James?! Emmet and Jasper are the real heros!” and then stalked away leaving us giggling at the fact that he actually paid attention to the book and then could comment properly (well, sort of).

    –Allison

  26. Nazneen

    lol Allison. The beauty of Twilight still haven’t knocked his head yet :P This James is awesome. Get obsessed,boy!

  27. Bella

    Haha I tried to get my “older brother in law” to read them. he kept saying no, so finally i made him take me to the movie and he asked me so many questions about all what he meant when he said “i leave you for a second and the wolves come in” and what happened with the cullens, and why’d they come. How come Bella isnt one. It was soo awesome

  28. Wendilynn

    This cracks me up. I’ve been trying to get my 16 year old son to read them and he staunchly refuses, however, my boyfriend went and saw the movie with me, loved it and now has me reading the series to him. (He says it makes it seem more personal) :P

  29. Wei-Wei

    Hahah! Thats a nice story! I was kinda lyk you in the begining. I mean the book Twilight was everywhere & I always hated reading. So i decided to try and read Twilight since i got rly curious with all the gossip about Edward. I read it and couldnt stop. My brother thinks im lame but i still love twilight. Anyways nice post!

  30. Becky

    lol. and his name is James :)

    MY brother still hasn’t read them, although he did see the movie and admitted the last twenty minutes were “okay.”

    he even likes books, and he’s not above taking my suggestions since I was the one who got him hooked on Harry Potter… he just refuses to read these because they’re “girly”
    pssh, he’ll cave eventually.

  31. Cricko

    I haven’t tried to get my younger brother to read them yet but one day I will. I’m just waiting for the right time.
    I managed to get my grandma ta read Twilight (not intentionally). She has heard me talk alot about them and thought she had to read the first, just to see what it all was about. I don’t know if she liked the book and to be honest I don’t think she did. I think she read the whole book but she didn’t say anything about it and I didn’t want to ask.

  32. Emma

    I loved this story. I work at a h.s. and a lot of my students, including boys were reading the Twilight. One day, when I got to work in the morning, three of my males students were walking to the library with their Twilight books in hand. I wish I had had my camera at that time! it was such a “Kodak” moment! Some of my other students would tell me that Twilight “sucks” I told them they cannot say that until they read the book, once they read it, they were hooked :-)

  33. Annie

    awww! i love the twilight guy reports! missed them very much. i wonder how jasper and rosalie hale are doing though.

  34. Molly

    I really missed these posts too so i’m incredibly happy to see one again. I did that with my brother! I’ve been reading them pretty much since the beginning of 2006 maybe towards the middle and my brother called me stupid and retarded cuz I was so obsessed and he would see me reading the books over and over again. Well at the time just Twilight and New Moon. Anyway. Then in like the beginning of last year we were in a book section at kmart and he was asking me for good books. I immediately told him Twilight and he gave me a weird look and just asked “what’s it about”. I sorta summarized it and it didn’t take that long to see him interested. Vampires pretty much did the whole job.

  35. Hera

    I love Twilight guy reports :D
    So cute :3

  36. YetAnotherTwilightFan

    That was a good story!!! I love the TwilightGuys Report!!! :)

  37. Vi

    Aw James, ur so cute :)

  38. Lizzie Hale

    Yay I love TwilightGuy Reports!!! You’re freaking awesome James XD

  39. Mary

    haha, yeah, sisters. We just know things.

    And I love that his friend was reading it too!

  40. Kelly

    OMG!! I love them!! And your awesome for even picking them up and reading them..Because I know some guys who wouldn’t and then finally did and they are obsessed with them too!! There GREAT who wouldn’t want to read them!! =)

  41. Indigo

    awww thats hilariously cute. i got my bro to read twilight and new moon, but they just didnt get him that interested. he should thank me though, it’ll help him get girls!

  42. Tammy

    It is so cool how this series encourages people to read and discuss the series!
    I am a teacher in Texas and most of my students are “at risk” students, who hate to read, but since we have been doing a “Twilight” themed lesson, I have had soo many students get excited about reading the “Twilight Saga”. It is sooo awesome! It is soo fun to discuss the books with them!
    I love “Twilight”!!

  43. john

    these book are cool but right now im only on the first one. more guys should read these book because yea the romance is akward at times but the books are all extreemly well wrote

  44. Creasy

    That Sounds Like My Brother Talkinq About Me&My Sister Lol
    Maybe I Should Just Leave My Books In His Room So He Wouldn't Have To
    Sneak It From Us

  45. Monique

    Believe it or not I swore not to read these Twilight books because they sounded lame, but I didn't even know what they were about. I finally decided to try it after my brother finished the first three on the computer and went out. I got hooked immediately and when Breaking Dawn came out, I begged my dad to let ME go buy the book so I could go read it first. I took a nap and when I woke up I realized my brother stole it. -_- I have to thank him though, now we just have to convince my oldest brother to read it.

  46. Monique

    Believe it or not I swore not to read these Twilight books because they sounded lame, but I didn't even know what they were about. I finally decided to try it after my brother finished the first three on the computer and went out. I got hooked immediately and when Breaking Dawn came out, I begged my dad to let ME go buy the book so I could go read it first. I took a nap and when I woke up I realized my brother stole it. -_- I have to thank him though, now we just have to convince my oldest brother to read it.

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