A guy reads Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (2009-2011)

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 9 (Sure As Hell Didn’t See That One Coming)

The song for this chapter is Remember by Big Dismal

[audio:https://twilightguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/remember.mp3]

Today is the start of that glorious time known as Summer Break, in which my free time increases rapidly only to be immediately filled again even more rapidly. As pointed out regularly in my complaint-mail, at the current rate of reading I might finish Breaking Dawn in a matter of 9 months. But that was the old Kaleb. THIS IS THE NEW KALEB WRITING. New, as in, suddenly realizing it is time to get down to business and start reading more, faster, and more often. Shorter posts? Perhaps. But more often? Heck yes.

The whole hiding-food thing that Jacob and Billy have to do when Paul is around is no strange thing to me. I grew up in a house with

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 7 (Unexpected)

The song for this chapter is Zoe Jane by Staind [audio:https://twilightguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/zoejane.mp3] Hello! My name is Kaleb! I write here! On occasion! I’m back, with just under two more weeks of finals to go. For those of you not acquainted with how finals work on my corner of the planet, the school generally gives me a […]

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 3 (Big Day)

The song for this chapter is You And Me by Lifehouse [audio:https://twilightguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/youandme.mp3] Around this time, I should point out I am the self-appointed King of Weird Dreams. Not counting that dream of the strange woman chasing me with a pitchfork, my dreams usually range from the freaky to the strange-yet-fortunately-happy. Most of the time it […]

Reading Breaking Dawn: Chapter 2 (Long Night)

The song for this chapter is When They Came For Us by Shiny Toy Guns

[audio:https://twilightguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/whentheycameforus.mp3]

Surprisingly enough, the new web server switchover hasn’t happened yet, because I’m still here (or am I?). I think everything is under control for now, but there will most likely be at least 6 hours of downtime around the end of this week. This is not a bad thing, actually. We discovered the root of the problem is that I posted my author photos yesterday, which prompted multiple thousands of people to hit KalebNation.com all in the same hour and overload the servers. I don’t know about you, but there are some on this planet who are just too easily excited (not that I’m complaining 😀 ).

Before I begin this post I should probably warn everyone that I am extremely sleepy. In fact, just minutes ago I awoke suddenly and realized that I was not in bed, but was so tired I had fallen asleep at my desk. Now that you’ve been warned, you can’t blame me for whatever half-conscious things I write in this post. But for now: the second chapter of Breaking Dawn can wait no longer!

I found it hilarious that Edward’s shirt is on the floor the evening he is staying with Bella. What, does he just hang around with no shirt on anymore? Is he trying to pick up on some habits from Jacob Black or something? If anything, he could try that half-vest thing that Aladdin does. Even Scottie McMullet wears a scarf:

[caption id="attachment_3357" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="haithur miss, just fixing that dress of yrs"]Hiathur miss, yr dress is fallin off...[/caption]

mullets

Some may laugh, but a 2-year-old vampire is quite a terrifying thought to me. I grew up in a house with

Reading Eclipse: Chapter 21 (Trails)

The song for this chapter is Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

[audio:https://twilightguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/stolen.mp3]

During my glorious and much-needed break from blogging, it was brought to my attention that I was mentioned somewhere I had never, ever expected to be. One of my readers emailed and said she had been reading Robert Pattinson: Eternally Yours, by Isabelle Adams, and came across this passage on page 90:

[caption id="attachment_2760" align="aligncenter" width="344" caption="Wowsa"]mention-robert-pattinson-bo[/caption]

I can’t even begin to tell you what a surprise this was! I’m still in shock that I was mentioned in an actual book like that 😀

Anyhows, I managed to make time stop so I could read another chapter of Eclipse today! Where I left off, there were some obvious Jacob/Bella problems going on. Does she love him? Does she not? Does she absolutely detest his slightly manipulative ways? I shall find out…

Bella’s vision of a perfect wedding is very fitting for what she wants: anything human to be over as quickly as possible.She hardly enjoys any sort of celebration, even her own graduation and birthdays, and being wed carries so much weight in her mind she seems to want it over and done with As Soon As Humanly Possible. Obviously, this is not what she has in mind: